(JU^ 


^^^ — ^ 


I  THEOLOGICAL  SEMINARY,  | 
^  Princeton,  N.  J.    /  _  S     f 

^  ~L i::-.    f 

c^  From  the  PUBLISHER.  # 

BV  4915  .A5  1841    ""^'"^ 

Alexander,  Archibald,  1772- 

1851. 
Thoughts  on  religious 


THOUGHTS 


ON 


RELIGIOUS  EXPERIENCE. 


BY  THE 

y 

Rev.  ARCHIBALD  ALEXANDER,  D.D. 

Professor  of  Pastoral  and  Polemic  Theology  in  the  Princeton  Theological  Seminary. 


PHILADELPHIA: 

PRESBYTERIAN    BOARD    OF   PUBLICATION. 

JaMES  RUSSELL,  PUBLISHING   AGENT. 

1841. 


Entered  according  to  the  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1841,  by  A.  W.  Mitchell, 
M.  D.,  in  the  office  of  the  Clerk  of  the  District  Court  for  the  Eastern  District  of 
Pennsylvania. 


Printed  by 

WILLIAM    S.    MARTIEN. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

Early  religious  impressions. — Different  results. — Classes  of  per- 
sons least  impressed. — Examples  of  ineffectual  impressions.  13 

CHAPTER  II. 
Piety  in  children. — Comparatively  few  renewed  in  infancy  and 
childhood. — Soul  awakened  in  different  ways. — Legal  convic- 
tion not  a  necessary  part  of  true  religion. — Progress  of  con- 
viction 22 

CHAPTER   III. 

The  new  birth  an  event  of  great  importance. — The  evidences  of 
the  new  birth. — Diversities  of  experience  in  Converts. — Ex- 
amples. — Causes  of  diversity 35 

CHAPTER  IV. 

Causes  of  diversity  in  experience  continued. — Effect  of  tempera- 
ment.— Melancholy. — Advice  to  the  friends  of  persons  thus 
affected. — Subject  continued. — Illustrative  cases. — Causes  of 
melancholy  and  insanity.       .......         48 

CHAPTER  V. 

Effect  of  sympathy  illustrated. — Cautions  in  relation  to  this  sub- 
ject.— A  singular  case  in  illustration  ....         69 

CHAPTER  VI. 

Erroneous  views  of  regeneration. — The  correct  view. — The  ope- 
ration of  faith. — Exercises  of  mind,  as  illustrated  in  President 
Edwards'  Narrative. — The  operations  of  faith  still  further  ex- 
plained.   79 

CHAPTER  VII. 

Considerations  on  dreams,  visions,  &c. — Remarkable  conversion 
of  a  blind  infidel  from  hearing  the  Bible  read.       .         .         .      102 

CHAPTER  VIII. 

Religious  Conversation. — Stress  laid  by  some  on  the  knowledge 
of  the  time  and  place  of  conversion. — Religious  experience  of 
Halyburton 120 

CHAPTER  IX. 

Christian  experience  of  R C . — Narrative  of  Sir  Richard 

Hill's  experience. 134 


4 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  X. 

Imperfect  sanctification. — The  spiritual  warfare.  .        .      156 

CHAPTER   XI. 

Narrative    of   G A S ,  an  Episcopal  Clergyman. 

Narrative  of  a  young  Officer  in  the  Army.  .         .         .167 

CHAPTER  XII. 

The  spiritual  conflict. — Various  exhibitions  of  it. — Evil  thoughts. 
A  case  in  illustration. 177 

CHAPTER  XIII. 

Growth   in  grace. — Signs   of  it. — Practical  directions   how  to 
grow  in  grace. — Hinderances  to  it.  ....       191 

CHAPTER  XIV.  '^ 

Backsliding.— The  Backslider  restored.  ....      205 

CHAPTER  XV. 

The  rich  man  and  the  poor. — TJie  various  trials  of  believers.         215 

CHAPTER  XVI. 
Death-bed  of  the  Believer 225 

CHAPTER  XVII. 
Death-bed  exercises  of  Andrew  Rivet.  ....      234 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 

Death-bed  exercises  and  speeches  of  Rev.  Thomas  Haly  burton.     250 

CHAPTER  XIX. 

Dying  Experience  of  Mr.  John  Janeway,  the  Rev.  Edward  Pay- 
son,  and  Rev.  Samuel  Finley,  D.  D.  ....       259 

CHAPTER  XX. 

Remarks  on  Death-bed  Exercises,  with  several  illsutrative  ex- 
amples 271 

CHAPTER  XXI. 

Death-bed   exercises   of   Mr.   Baxter,   and   the   Rev.   Thomas 
Scott,  D.  D 282 

CHAPTER  XXII. 

Preparation  for  death. — The  state  of  the  soul  after  death.        .      294 

Prayer  for  one  who  feels  that  he  is  approaching  the  borders  of 
another  world 307 


PREFACE. 


There  are  two  kinds  of  religious  knowledge, 
which,  though  intimately  connected  as  cause  and 
eflect,  may  nevertheless  be  distinguished.  These 
are  the  knowledge  of  the  truth  as  it  is  revealed 
in  the  Holy  Scriptures,  and  the  impression 
which  that  truth  makes  on  the  human  mind 
when  rightly  apprehended.  The  first  may  be 
compared  to  the  inscription  or  image  on  a  seal; 
the  other  to  the  impression  made  by  the  seal  on 
the  wax.  When  that  impression  is  clearly  and 
distinctly  made,  we  can  understand,  by  contem- 
plating it,  the  true  inscription  on  the  seal  more 
satisfactorily,  than  by  a  direct  view  of  the  seal 
itself.  Thus  it  is  found,  that  nothing  tends 
more  to  confirm  and  elucidate  the  truths  con- 
tained in  the  word,  than  an  inward  experience 
of  their  efficacy  on  the  heart.  It  cannot,  there- 
fore, be  uninteresting  to  the  Christian,  to  have 
these  effects,  as  they  consist  in  the  various  views 
and  affections  of  the  mind,  traced  out,  and  ex- 
hibited in  their  connexion  with  the  truth,  and  in 

I 


PREFACE. 


their  relation  to  each  other.  There  is,  however, 
one  manifest  disadvantage,  under  which  we  must 
labour,  in  acquiring  this  kind  of  knowledge, 
whether  by  our  own  experience,  or  that  of 
others;  which  is,  that  we  are  obliged  to  follow 
a  fallible  guide ;  and  the  pathway  to  this  know- 
ledge is  very  intricate,  and  the  light  which 
shines  upon  it,  often  obscure.  All  investiga- 
tions of  the  exercises  of  the  human  mind  are 
attended  with  difficulty;  and  never  more  so, 
than  when  we  attempt  to  ascertain  the  religious 
or  spiritual  state  of  our  hearts.  If,  indeed,  the 
impression  of  the  truth  were  perfect,  there 
would  exist  little  or  no  difficulty ;  but  when  it  is 
a  mere  outline  and  the  lineaments  obscure,  it 
becomes  extremely  difficult  to  determine  whether 
it  be  the  genuine  impress  of  the  truth:  especially 
as  in  this  case,  there  will  be  much  darkness  and 
confusion  in  the  mind,  and  much  that  is  of  a 
nature  directly  opposite  to  the  effects  of  the  en- 
grafted word.  There  is,  moreover,  so  great  a 
variety  in  the  constitution  of  human  minds,  so 
much  diversity  in  the  strength  of  the  natural 
passions,  and  so  wide  a  difference  in  the  tem- 
perament of  Christians,  and  so  many  differ- 
ent degrees  of  piety,  that  the  study  of  this 
department  of  religious  truth  is  exceedingly 
difficult.  In  many  cases  the  most  experienced 
and  skilful  casuist  will  feel  himself  at  a  loss;  or 
may  utterly  mistake,  in  regard  to  the  true  nature 


PREFACE. 


of  a  case  submitted  to  his  consideration.  The 
complete  knowledge  of  the  deceitful  heart  of 
man,  is  a  prerogative  of  the  omniscient  God. 
"  I  the  Lord  search  the  hearts  and  try  the  reins 
of  the  children  of  men."  But  we  are  not  on  this 
account  forbidden  to  search  into  this  subject; 
so  far  is  this  from  being  true,  that  we  are  re- 
peatedly exhorted  to  examine  ourselves,  in  rela- 
tion to  this  very  point;  and  Paul  expresses 
astonishment,  that  the  Corinthian  Christians 
should  have  made  so  little  progress  in  self- 
knowledge.  "  Examine  yourselves,"  says  he, 
"  whether  you  be  in  the  faith — prove  your  own 
selves — know  ye  not  that  Jesus  Christ  is  in 
you,  except  ye  be  reprobates."  In  judging  of 
religious  experience,  it  is  all  important  to  keep 
steadily  in  view  the  system  of  divine  truth,  con- 
tained in  the  Holy  Scriptures ;  otherwise,  our 
experience,  as  is  too  often  the  case,  will  degene- 
rate into  enthusiasm.  Many  ardent  professors, 
seem  too  readily  to  take  it  for  granted,  that  all 
religious  feelings  must  be  good.  They  there- 
fore take  no  care  to  discriminate  between  the 
genuine  and  the  spurious,  the  pure  gold,  and  the 
tinsel.  Their  only  concern  is  about  the  ardour 
of  their  feelings ;  not  considering,  that  if  they 
are  spurious,  the  more  intense  they  are,  the  fur- 
ther will  they  lead  them  astray.  In  our  day,  there 
is  nothing  more  necessary  than  to  distinguish 
carefully  between  true  and  false  experiences,  in 


8 


PREFACE. 


religion;  to  "try  the  spirits  whether  they  are  of 
God."  And  in  making  this  discrimination,  there 
is  no  other  test  but  the  infalhble  word  of  God; 
let  every  thought,  motive,  impulse  and  emotion, 
be  brought  to  this  touch-stone.  "  To  the  law 
and  the  testimony,  if  they  speak  not  according 
to  these,  it  is  because  there  is  no  light  in  them." 
If  genuine  religious  experience  is  nothing  but 
the  impression  of  divine  truth  on  the  mind,  by 
the  energy  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  then  it  is  evident 
that  a  knowledge  of  the  truth  is  essential  to  gen- 
uine piety;  error  never  can,  under  any  circum- 
stances, produce  the  effects  of  truth.  This  is 
now  generally  acknowledged.  But  it  is  not  so 
clearly  understood  by  all,  that  any  defect  in  our 
knowledge  of  the  truth,  must,  just  so  far  as  the 
error  extends,  mar  the  symmetry  of  the  impres- 
sion produced.  The  error,  in  this  case,  is  of 
course  not  supposed  to  relate  to  fundamental 
truths,  for  then  there  can  be  no  genuine  piety; 
but  where  a  true  impression  is  made,  it  may  be 
rendered  very  defective,  for  want  of  a  complete 
knowledge  of  the  whole  system  of  revealed 
truth;  or  its  beauty  marred  by  the  existence  of 
some  errors  mingled  with  the  truth,  which  may 
be  well  illustrated  by  returning  again  to  the  seal. 
Suppose  that  some  part  of  the  image  inscribed 
on  it  has  been  defaced,  or  that  some  of  the  let- 
ters have  been  obliterated,  it  is  evident,  that 
when  the  impression  is  made  on  the  wax  there 


PREFACE.  9 

will  be  a  corresponding  deficiency  or  deformity, 
although  in  the  main  the  impress  may  be  cor- 
rect. There  is  reason  to  believe,  therefore,  that 
all  ignorance  of  revealed  truth,  or  error  respect- 
ing it,  must  be  attended  with  a  corresponding 
defect  in  the  religious  exercises  of  the  person. 
This  consideration  teaches  us  the  importance  of 
truth,  and  the  duty  of  increasing  daily  in  the 
knowledge  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ. 
This  is  the  true  and  only  method  of  growing  in 
grace.  There  may  be  much  correct  theoretical 
knowledge,  I  admit,  where  there  is  no  impression 
corresponding  with  it  on  the  heart;  but  still,  all 
good  impressions  on  the  heart  are  from  the  truth, 
and  from  the  truth  alone.  Hence  we  find,  that 
those  denominations  of  Christians  which  receive 
the  system  of  evangelical  truth,  only  in  part, 
have  a  defective  experience;  and  their  Christian 
character,  as  a  body,  is  so  far  defective;  and 
even  where  true  piety  exists,  we  often  find  a  sad 
mixture  of  enthusiasm,  self-righteousness,  or 
superstition.  And  even  where  the  theory  of  doc- 
trinal truth  is  complete,  yet  if  there  be  an  error 
respecting  the  terms  of  Christian  communion, 
by  narrowing  the  entrance  into  Christ's  fold  to 
a  degree  which  his  word  does  not  authorize,  this 
single  error,  whatever  professions  may  be  made 
to  the  contrary  with  the  lips,  always  generates 
a  narrow  spirit  of  bigotry,  which  greatly  ob- 


10 


PREFACE. 


structs  the  free  exercise  of  that  brotherly  love 
which  Christ  made  the  badge  of  discipleship. 

If  these  things  be  so,  then  let  all  Christians 
use  unceasing  diligence  in  acquiring  a  correct 
knowledge  of  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus ;  and  let 
them  pray  without  ceasing  for  the  influence  of 
the  Holy  Spirit,  to  render  the  truth  effectual 
in  the  sanctification  of  the  whole  man,  soul, 
body,  and  spirit.  "Sanctify  them  through  thy 
TRUTH,  THY  WORD  IS  TRUTH,"  was  a  prayer  offer- 
ed up  by  Christ,  in  behalf  of  all  whom  the  Father 
had  given  him. 


ADVERTISEMENT. 


The  following  Thoughts  on  Religious  Experi- 
ence were,  for  the  most  part,  published  in  succes- 
sive numbers,  in  the  Watchman  of  the  South, 
and  thence  transferred  to  several  other  papers, 
belonging  to  different  denominations;    so  that 
they  have  been  pretty  widely  circulated  through 
the  religious  community.     They  were  commen- 
ced without  any  view  to  their  being  collected 
into  a  volume;  and,  indeed,  without  any  plan  or 
purpose,  in  regard  to   the  extent  to  which  the 
subject  would  be  pursued.     They  were  generally 
written  hastily,  in  such  fragments  of  time  as 
could  be  spared  from  the  daily  duties  of  an  ar- 
duous profession,  and  in  a  state  of  health  far 
from  being  perfect.     This  is  the  only  apology 
which  the  author  has  to  offer,  for  the  imperfec- 
tions which  will  doubtless   be   found  in  them. 
For  although  he  has  cursorily  revised  them  since 
the  call  was  made  for  their  re-publication,  in  this 
form,  yet  he  has  made  no  alteration  of  any  con- 
sequence.    He  is  thankful    to  God,  that  they 


12 


ADVERTISEMENT. 


have  been  made  useful  to  a  single  soul;  and 
that  they  may  be  rendered  still  more  so,  is  his 
humble  prayer.  He  would,  however,  inform  the 
reader  that  one  third  or  one  fourth  of  this 
volume,  principally  the  latter  part,  has  never 
before  been  publislied. 


RELIGIOUS   EXPERIENCE. 


CHAPTER  I. 

Early  religious  impressions. — Different  results. — Classes  of  persons 
least  impressed. — Examples  of  ineffectual  impressions. 

There  is  no  necessity  for  any  other  proof  of  native 
depravity,  than  the  aversion,  which  children  early 
manifest  to  rehgious  instruction  and  to  spiritual  exer- 
cises. From  this  cause  it  proceeds,  that  many  children, 
who  have  the  opportunity  of  a  good  religious  educa- 
tion, learn  scarcely  any  thing  of  the  most  important 
truths  of  Christianity.  If  they  are  compelled  to  com- 
mit the  Catechism  to  memory,  they  are  wont  to  do  this 
without  ever  thinking  of  the  doctrines  contained  in  the 
words  which  they  recite;  so  that,  when  the  attention 
is  at  any  time  awakened  to  the  subject  of  religion,  as 
a  personal  concern,  they  feel  themselves  to  be  com- 
pletely ignorant  of  the  system  of  divine  truth  taught  in 
the  Bible.  Yet  even  to  these,  the  truths  committed  to 
memory  are  now  of  great  utility.  They  are  like  a 
treasure  which  has  been  hidden,  but  is  now  discov- 
ered. Of  two  persons  under  conviction  of  sin,  one  of 
whom  has  had  sound  religious  instruction,  and  the 
other  none,  the  former  will  have  an  unspeakable 
advantage  over  the  latter  in  many  respects. 

Many  children,  and  especially  those  who  have 
pious  parents,  who  speak  to  them  of  the  importance 
of  salvation,  are  the  subjects  of  occasional  religious 
impressions,  of  different  kinds.  Sometimes  they  are 
alarmed  by  hearing  an  awakening  sermon,  or  by  the 

2 


14  THOUGHTS   ON 

sudden  death  of  a  companion  of  their  own  age;  or, 
again,  they  are  tenderly  affected,  even  to  tears,  from 
a  consideration  of  the  goodness  and  forbearance  of 
God,  or  from  a  representation  of  the  love  and  suffer- 
ings of  Christ.  There  are  also  seasons  of  transport- 
ing joy,  which  some  experience,  especially  after  being 
tenderly  affected  with  a  sense  of  ingratitude  to  God 
for  his  wonderful  goodness,  in  sparing  them  and  be- 
stowing so  many  blessings  upon  them.  These  tran- 
sient emotions  of  joy  cannot  always  be  easily  accoun- 
ted for,  but  they  are  commonly  preceded  or  accompa- 
nied by  a  hope,  or  persuasion,  that  God  is  reconciled 
and  will  receive  them.  In  some  cases  it  would  be 
thought  that  these  juvenile  exercises  were  indications 
of  a  change  of  heart,  did  they  not  pass  away  like  the 
morning  cloud,  or  early  dew,  so  as  even  to  be  oblit- 
erated from  the  mind  which  experienced  them.  Some 
imdertake  to  account  for  these  religious  impressions, 
merely  from  the  susceptible  principle  of  human  na- 
ture, in  connection  with  the  external  instructions  of 
the  word,  and  some  striking  dispensations  of  Provi- 
dence ;  but  the  cause  assigned  is  not  adequate,  be- 
cause the  same  circumstances  often  exist,  when  no 
such  effects  follow.  Others  ascribe  them  to  the  evil 
spirit,  who  is -ever  seeking  to  deceive  and  delude  un- 
wary souls,  by  inspiring  them  with  a  false  persuasion 
of  their  good  estate,  while  they  are  in  the  gall  of  bit- 
terness and  bonds  of  iniquity.  While  I  would  not 
deny  that  Satan  may  take  advantage  of  these  tran- 
sient exercises  to  induce  a  false  hope,  I  cannot  be  per- 
suaded that  he  produces  these  impressions;  for  often 
the  persons,  before  experiencing  them,  were  as  care- 
less and  stupid  as  he  could  wish  them  to  be;  and  be- 
cause the  tendency  of  these  impressions  is  salutary. 
The  youth,  thus  affected,  becomes  more  tender  in  con- 
science, forsakes  known  sin  before  indulged,  has  re- 
course to  prayer,  and  feels  strong  desires  after  eternal 
happiness.  These  are  not  what  Satan  would  effect, 
if  he  could;  unless  we  could  suppose  that  he  was 
operating  against  himself,  which  our  Saviour  has 
taught  us  to  be  impossible.     I  am  of  opinion,  there- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


15 


fore,  that  these  transient  impressions  should  be  ascri- 
bed to  the  common  operations  of  the  Spirit  of  God, 
and  may  have  some  inexplicable  connection  with  the 
future  conversion  and  salvation  of  the  person.  There 
is  a  common  practical  error  in  the  minds  of  many  Chris- 
tians in  regard  to  this  matter.  They  seem  to  think 
that  nothing  has  any  relation  to  the  conversion  of  the 
sinner,  but  that  which  immediately  preceded  this 
event;  and  the  Christian  is  ready  to  say,  I  was  awa- 
kened under  such  a  sermon,  and  never  had  rest  until 
I  found  it  in  Christ;  making  nothing  of  all  previous 
instructions  and  impressions.  So,  when  a  revival 
occurs  under  the  awakening  discourses  of  some  evan- 
gelist, people  are  ready  to  think  that  he  only  is  the  suc- 
cessful preacher  whose  labours  God  owns  and  blesses; 
whereas,  he  does  but  bring  forward  to  maturity,  feel- 
ings and  convictions,  which  have  been  long  secretly 
forming  and  growing  within  the  soul,  but  so  imper- 
ceptibly, that  the  person  himself  was  little  sensible  of 
any  change.  It  may  be  justly  and  Scripturally  com- 
pared to  a  growing  crop:  after  the  seed  is  sown  it 
vegetates,  we  know  not  how,  and  then  it  receives 
daily  the  sun's  influence,  and  from  time  to  time,  re- 
freshing showers;  but  about  the  time  of  earing,  after 
a  long  drought,  there  comes  a  plentiful  shower,  by 
means  of  which,  nutriment  is  afforded  for  the  forma- 
tion of  the  full  corn  in  the  ear.  No  one  will  dispute 
the  importance  and  efficacy  of  this  last  shower  in 
maturing  the  grain;  but  had  there  been  no  cultiva- 
tion and  no  showers  long  before,  this  had  never  pro- 
duced any  effect. 

Whether  those  who  are  never  converted,  are  the 
subjects  of  these  religious  impressions,  as  well  as 
those  who  are  afterwards  brought  to  faith  in  Christ, 
is  a  question  not  easily  answered.  That  they  expe- 
rience dreadful  alarms  and  pungent  convictions  at 
times,  and  also  tender  drawings,  cannot  be  doubted; 
but  whether  those  "  chosen  in  Christ"  are  not,  in  their 
natural  state,  subject  to  impressions  which  others 
never  experience,  must  remain  undetermined,  since 
we  know  so  little  of  the  real  state  of  the  hearts  of 


16  THOUGHTS    ON 

most  men;  but  as  there  is,  undoubtedly,  a  special 
providence  exercised  by  Christ  over  those  sheep  not 
yet  called  into  the  fold,  I  cannot  but  think  it  probable 
that  they  are  often  influenced  by  the  Holy  Spirit  in  a 
peculiar  manner,  to  guard  them  against  fatal  errors 
and  destructive  habits,  and  in  preparing  them,  by  de- 
grees, to  receive  the  truth. 

We  know  very  little,  however,  of  what  is  passing 
in  the  minds  of  thousands  around  us.  The  zealous 
preacher  often  concludes  and  laments  that  there  is  no 
impression  on  the  minds  of  his  hearers,  when,  if  the 
covering  of  the  human  heart  could  be  withdrawn,  he 
would  be  astonished  and  confounded  at  the  variety 
and  depth  of  the  feelings  experienced.  Those  im- 
pressions which  manifest  themselves  by  a  flow  of 
tears,  are  not  the  deepest,  but  often  very  superficial; 
while  the  most  awful  distresses  of  the  soul  are  entirely 
concealed  by  a  kind  of  hypocrisy,  which  men  early 
learn  topractise,to  hide  their  feelings  of  a  religious  kind 
from  their  fellow-creatures.  A  man  may  be  so  much 
in  despair  as  to  be  meditating  suicide,  when  his  near- 
est friends  know  nothing  of  it.  The  attempt  at  im- 
mediate eff'ect,  and  the  expectation  of  it,  is  one  of  the 
errors  of  the  present  times;  indeed,  it  is  the  very 
watch-word  of  a  certain  party.  But  let  us  not  be 
misunderstood;  we  do  not  mean  to  say  that  all  men 
are  not  under  indispensable  obligations  immediately 
to  obey  all  the  commands  of  God.  Concerning  this, 
there  can  be  no  difference  of  opinion.  But  the  per- 
sons to  whom  we  refer  seem  to  think  that  nothing  is 
done  towards  the  salvation  of  men,  but  at  the  mo- 
ment of  their  conversion,  and  that  every  good  effect 
must  be  at  once  manifest.  Perhaps  some  one  may 
infer  that  we  believe  in  a  gradual  regeneration,  and 
that  special  grace  differs  from  common,  only  in  de- 
gree; but  such  an  inference  would  be  utterly  false, 
for  there  can  be  no  medium  between  life  and  death; 
but  we  do  profess  to  believe  and  maintain,  that  there 
is  a  gradual  preparation,  by  common  grace,  for  regen- 
eration, which  may  be  going  on  from  childhood  to 
mature  age;  and  we  believe  that,  as  no  mortal  can 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE, 


17 


tell  the  precise  moment  when  the  soul  is  vivified,  and 
as  the  principle  of  spiritual  life  in  its  commencement 
is  often  very  feeble,  so  it  is  an  undoubted  troth,  that 
the  developement  of  the  new  life  in  the  soul  may  be, 
and  often  is,  very  slow;  and  not  unfrequently  that 
which  is  called  conversion  is  nothing  else  but  a 
more  sensible  and  vigorous  exercise  of  a  principle 
which  has  long  existed.  Just  as  the  seed  under 
ground  may  have  life,  and  may  be  struggling  to  come 
forth  to  open  day;  but  it  may  meet  with  various  ob- 
structions and  unfavourable  circumstances  which  re- 
tard its  growth.  At  length,  however,  it  makes  its 
way  through  the  earth,  and  expands  its  leaves  to  the 
light  and  the  air,  and  begins  to  drink  in  from  every 
source  that  nutriment  which  it  needs.  No  one  sup- 
poses, however,  that  the  moment  of  its  appearing 
above  ground  is  the  commencement  of  its  life;  but 
this  mistake  is  often  made  in  the  analogous  case  of 
the  regeneration  of  the  soul.  The  first  clear  and 
lively  exercise  of  faith  and  repentance  is  made  the 
date  of  the  origin  of  spiritual  life,  whereas  it  existed 
in  a  feeble  state,  and  put  forth  obscure  acts  long  be- 
fore, I  find,  however,  that  I  am  anticipating  a  dis- 
cussion intended  for  another  part  of  this  work. 

At  present,  I  wish  only  to  remark  further,  that 
what  has  been  said  about  early  impressions  and  ju- 
venile exercises  of  religion  is  not  applicable  to  all. 

There  are,  alas!  many  who  seem  to  remain  un- 
moved amidst  all  the  light  and  means  by  which  most 
are  surrounded  in  this  land;  and  these,  too,  are  often 
found  in  the  families  of  the  pious,  and  do  actually 
pass  through  more  than  one  revival  without  parta- 
king of  any  unusual  influence,  or  experiencing  any 
strong  religious  feeling.  Esau  had  a  title  to  the  birth- 
right, and  yet  he  so  despised  this  peculiar  blessing 
that  he  actually  sold  it  for  "  a  mess  of  pottage." 
Abraham,  too,  had  his  Ishmael,  and  Jacob  a  troop  of 
ungodly  children.  Eli's  sons  were  wicked  in  the 
extreme,  and  Samuel's  came  not  up  to  what  was 
expected  from  the  children  of  such  a  father.  Among 
all  David's  children  we  read  of  none  who  feared  God 


18 


THOUGHTS    ON 


but  Solomon.  Those,  however,  who  become  ex- 
tremely wicked  have  often  resisted  the  strivings  of  the 
Spirit;  and  not  unfrequently  the  most  impious  blas- 
phemers and  atheists  have  once  been  much  under  the 
influence  of  religious  light  and  feeling;  but  quench- 
ing the  Spirit,  have  been  given  up  to  "  believe  a  lie," 
and  "to  work  all  uncleanness  with  greediness.*' 

We  have  said  that  there  are  some  persons  who 
grow  up  to  manhood  without  experiencing  any  re- 
ligious impressions,  except  mere  momentary  thoughts 
of  death,  and  judgment;  and  these  may  be  persons  of 
a  very  amiable  disposition  and  moral  deportment; 
and  these  very  qualities  may  be,  in  part,  the  reason 
of  their  carelessness.  They  commit  no  gross  sins, 
the  remembrance  of  which  wounds  the  conscience. 
Being  of  a  calm  and  contented  temper,  and  fond  of 
taking  their  ease,  they  shun  religious  reflection,  and 
turn  away  their  thoughts  from  the  truth,  when  it  is 
presented  to  them  from  the  pulpit.  Some  persons,  of 
this  description,  have  been  awakened  and  converted, 
at  mature  age,  and  have  then  confessed,  that  they 
lived  as  much  without  God  as  atheists,  and  seldom, 
if  ever,  extended  their  thoughts  to  futurity.  Of  course 
they  utterly  neglected  secret  prayer,  and  lived  in  the 
midst  of  gospel  hght,  without  being  in  the  least 
affected  by  it. 

There  is,  moreover,  another  class,  who  seem  never 
to  feel  the  force  of  religious  truth.  They  are  such  as 
spend  their  whole  waking  hours  in  the  giddy  whirl 
of  amusement  or  company.  Full  of  health  and  spirits, 
and  sanguine  in  their  hopes  of  enjoyment  from  the 
world,  they  put  away  serious  reflection  as  the  very 
bane  of  pleasure.  The  very  name  of  religion  is  hate- 
ful to  them:  and  all  they  ask  of  religious  people  is  to 
let  them  alone,  and  seize  the  pleasures  of  life  while 
within  their  reach.  If  we  may  judge  from  appear- 
ances, this  class  is  very  large.  We  find  them  the 
majority  in  many  places  of  fashionable  resort.  The 
theatre,  ball-room,  and  the  very  streets  are  full  of 
such.  They  flutter  gaily  along,  and  keep  each  other 
in  countenance;  while  they  are  strangers  to  all  grave 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  19 

reflection,  even  in  regard  to  the  sober  concerns  of  this 
life.     If  a  pious  friend  ever  gets  the  opportunity  of 
addressing  a  word  of  serious  advice  to  them,  their 
poHteness  may  prevent  them  from  behaving  rudely, 
but  no  sooner  is  his  back  turned,  than  they  laugh  him 
to  scorn,  and  hate  and  despise  him  for  his  pains.  They 
habituate  themselves  to  think  that  religion  is  an  awk- 
ward unseemly  thing,  and  wonder  how  any  person 
of  sense  can  bear  to  attend  to  it.     Very  often  this 
high  reverie  of  pleasure  is  short:  in  such  a  world  as 
this,  events  are  apt  to  occur,  which  dash  the  cup  of 
sensual  delights,  while  it  is  at  the  lips.     Death  will 
occasionally  intrude  even  upon  this  gay  circle,  and 
put  a  speedy  end  to  their  unreasonable  merriment. 
0  how  sad  is  the  spectacle,  to  see  one  of  the  votaries 
of  fashion  suddenly  cut  down,  and  carried  to  the 
grave! — When  mortal  sickness  seizes  such  persons, 
they  are  very  apt  to  be  delirious,  if  not  with  fever, 
yet  with  fright;  and  their  officious  but  cruel  friends, 
make  it  their  chief  study,  to  bar  out  every  idea  of 
religion;  and  to  flatter  the  poor  dying  creature  with 
the  hope  of  recovery,  until  death  has  actually  seized 
his  prey.     Such  an  event  produces  a  shock  in  the 
feelings  of  survivors,  of  the  same  class,  but  such  is 
the  buoyancy  of  their  feelings,  and  their  forgetfulness 
of  mournful  events,  that  they  are  soon  seen  dancing 
along  their  slippery  path  with  as  much  insane  thought- 
lessness, as  before.   Nothing,  which  ever  occurs,  tends 
so  much  to  disturb  the  career  of  this  multitude,  as 
when  one  of  their  number  is  converted  unto  God. 
At  first  they  are  astounded,  and  for  a  moment  pause, 
but  they  soon  learn  to  ascribe  the  change  to  some 
natural  cause,  or  to  some  strange  capriciousness  of 
temper,  or  disappointm.ent  in  earthly  hopes.     Very 
soon  you  will  see  them  as  much  estranged  from  such 
an  one,  although  before  an  intimate  friend — as  if  he 
had  never  been  of  the  number  of  their  acquaintances. 
Often  their  nearest  relatives  are  ashamed  of  them,  and, 
as  much  as  possible,  shun  their  company.     How  ab- 
surd then  is  it,  for  any  to  pretend,  that  men  naturally 
love  God,  and  only  need  to  know  his  character  to  re- 


20 


THOUGHTS    ON 


vere  it!  If  there  be  a  truth  established  beyond  all 
reasonable  question,  by  uniform  experience,  it  is,  that 
lovers  of  pleasure  are  the  enemies  of  God. 

The  class  of  speculating,  money-making,  business- 
doing  men,  is  probably  as  numerous,  and,  though 
more  sober  in  their  thoughts,  yet  as  far  from  God, 
and  as  destitute  of  religion  as  those  already  described ; 
but  as  we  find  these  not  commonly  among  the  youth, 
but  middle  aged,  we  shall  not  attempt  to  delineate 
their  character,  or  describe  their  feelings.  I  must  re- 
turn to  the  consideration  of  early  religious  impres- 
sions which  do  not  terminate  in  a  sound  conversion 
to  God.  Some  five  and  forty  years  ago,  I  was  fre- 
quently in  a  family  where  the  parents,  though  re- 
specters of  religion,  were  not  professors.  They  had 
a  sweet,  amiable  little  daughter,  eight  or  ten  years  of 
age,  who  had  all  the  appearance  of  eminent  piety. 
She  loved  the  Bible,  loved  preaching  and  religious 
people,  was  uniform  and  constant  in  retiring  for  de- 
votional exercises,  and  spoke  freely,  when  asked,  of 
the  feelings  of  her  own  mind.  I  think  I  never  had 
less  doubt  of  any  one's  piety  than  of  this  little  girl's. 
There  was  no  forwardness,  nor  pertness;  nor  any  as- 
sumption of  sanctimonious  airs.  All  was  simplicity, 
modesty,  and  consistency;  she  was  grave  but  not  de- 
mure; solemn  and  tender  in  her  feelings,  without 
affectation.  She  applied  for  admission  to  the  com- 
munion— and  who  dare  refuse  entrance  into  the  fold 
to  such  a  dear  lamb?  Here  my  personal  acquaint- 
ance ends.  But  years  afterwards,  upon  inquiry,  I 
found  that  when  she  grew  up  to  woman-hood,  she 
became  gay  and  careless,  and  entirely  relinquished 
her  religious  profession.  My  Methodist  neighbour, 
I  know,  if  he  had  the  chance  to  whisper  in  my  ear, 
would  say,  "I  have  no  difficulty  in  accounting  for 
this  case,  she  was  a  child  of  God,  but  fell  from  grace." 
But  I  have  never  been  able  to  adopt  this  method  of 
explaining  such  phenomena.  There  are  few  truths 
of  which  I  have  a  more  unwavering  conviction,  than 
that  the  sheep  of  Christ,  for  whom  he  laid  down  his 
life,  shall  never  perish.     I  do  believe,  however,  that 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


21 


grace  may,  for  a  season,  sink  so  low  in  the  heart  into 
which  it  has  entered,  and  he  so  overborne  and  buried 
up,  that  none  but  God  can  perceive  its  existence. 
Now,  that  may  have  been  the  fact  in  regard  to  this 
dear  child;  for  her  later  history  is  unknown  to  me. 
She  may,  for  aught  I  know,  be  still  alive,  and  be  now 
a  living  consistent  member  of  Christ's  Church,  and 
may  possibly  peruse  these  lines,  though  if  she  should 
she  may  not  recognize  her  own  early  features,  taken 
down  from  memory  after  the  lapse  of  so  many  years. 
But  the  picture  is  not  of  one  person  only,  but  of 
many;  differing  only  in  trivial  circumstances. 

I  retain  a  distinct  recollection  of  another  case  of  a 
still  earlier  date;  and  where  the  history  is  more  com- 
plete. An  obscure  youth,  the  son  of  religious  pa- 
rents, in  a  time  of  awakening,  seemed  to  have  his  at- 
tention drawn  to  the  concerns  of  his  soul;  so  that  he 
seriously  and  diligently  attended  on  all  religious 
meetings.  He  had  the  appearance  of  deep  humility; 
and  though  free  to  speak,  when  interrogated,  was  in 
no  respect  forward  or  self-sufficient.  Indeed,  he  was 
scarcely  known,  or  noticed,  by  the  religious  people 
who  were  in  the  habit  of  attending  prayer  meetings. 
It  happened,  that  on  an  inclement  evening,  very  few 
were  present,  and  none  of  those  who  were  accus- 
tomed to  take  a  part  in  leading  the  devotional  exer- 
cises; the  person,  at  whose  house  the  meeting  was 
held,  not  wishing  to  dismiss  the  few  who  were  pre- 
sent, with  a  single  prayer,  asked  this  youth  if  he 
would  not  attempt  to  make  a  prayer.  He  readily 
assented,  and  performed  this  service  with  so  much 
fervency,  fluency,  and  propriety  of  expression,  that 
all  who  heard  it  were  astonished.  From  this  time 
he  was  called  upon  more  frequently  than  any  other, 
and  often  in  the  public  congregation;  for  some  peo- 
ple preferred  his  prayers  to  any  sermons;  and  I  must 
say,  that  I  never  heard  any  one  pray,  who  seemed  to 
me  to  have  such  a  gift  of  prayer.  The  most  appro- 
priate passages  of  Scripture  seemed  to  come  to  him 
in  rapid  succession,  as  if  by  inspiration.  Now  the 
common  cry  was,  that  he  ought  to  be  taken  from  the 


22 


THOUGHTS   ON 


trade  which  he  was  learning,  (for  he  was  an  appren- 
tice)— and  be  put  to  learning.  The  thing  demanded 
by  so  many,  was  not  difficult  to  accomplish.  He  be- 
gan a  regular  course  of  academical  studies,  and  his 
progress,  though  not  extraordinary,  was  respectable. 
But,  alas!  how  weak  is  man — how  deceitful  is  the 
heart!  This  young  man  soon  began  to  exhibit  evi- 
dence too  plain,  that  conceit  and  self-confidence,  were 
taking  root  and  growing  very  rapidly.  He  became  im- 
patient of  opposition,  arrogant  towards  his  superiors, 
and  unwilling  to  yield  to  reproof  administered  in  the 
most  paternal  spirit.  When  the  time  came  to  enter 
upon  trials  for  the  ministry,  the  Presbytery,  to  which 
he  applied,  refused  to  receive  him  under  their  care. 
But  this  solemn  rebuff,  instead  of  humbling  him,  only 
provoked  his  indignation,  and,  as  if  in  despite  of 
them,  he  turned  at  once  to  the  study  of  another  pro- 
fession, in  which  he  might  have  succeeded  had  he 
remained  moral  and  temperate  in  his  habits ;  but  falling 
into  bad  company,  he  became  dissipated,  and  soon 
came,  without  any  known  reformation,  to  a  prema- 
ture end.  Now  suppose  this  man  had  been  permitted 
to  enter  the  ministry,  the  probability  is,  that  though  his 
unchristian  temper  would  have  done  much  evil,  yet 
he  would  have  continued  in  the  sacred  office  to  his 
dying  day.  "  Let  him  that  thinketh  he  standeth 
take  heed  lest  hefall.''^ 


CHAPTER  II. 

Piety  in  children. — Comparatively  fevr  renewed  in  infancy  and  child- 
hood.— Soul  awakened  in  different  ways. — Legal  conviction  not  a 
necessary  part  of  true  religion. — Progress  of  Conviction. 

It  is  an  interesting  question,  whether  now,  there  are 
any  persons  sanctified  from  the  womb?  If  the  commu- 
nication of  grace  ever  took  place,  at  so  early  a  period 
of  human  existence,  there  is  no  reason  why  it  should 
not  now  sometimes  occur.  God  says  to  Jeremiah, "  Be- 
fore I  formed  thee  in  the  belly,  I  knew  thee,  and  be- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


23 


fore  thou  earnest  forth  out  of  the  womb,  I  sanctified 
thee."     And  of  John   the   Baptist,   Gabriel  said  to 
Zacharias,  his  father,  "And  he  shall  be  filled  with  the 
Holy  Ghost,  even  from  his  mother's  womb."     The 
prophet  Samuel  also,  seems  to  have  feared  the  Lord 
from   his   earliest   childhood.     In  later  times,  cases 
have  often  occurred,  in  which  eminently  pious  per- 
sons could  not  remember  the  time  when  they  did  not 
love  the  Saviourand  experience  godly  sorrow  for  their 
sins;  and,  as  we  believe  that  infants  maybe  the  sub- 
jects of  regeneration,  and  cannot  be  saved  without  it, 
why  may  it  not  be  the  fact,  that  some  who  are  regen- 
erated Uve  to  mature  age?     I   know,  indeed,  that 
many  conceive  that  infants  are  naturally  free  from 
moral  pollution,  and,  of  course,  need  no  regeneration; 
but  this  opinion  is  diametrically  opposite  to  the  doc- 
trine of  Scripture,  and  inconsistent  with  the  acknow- 
ledged fact,  that,  as  soon  as  they  are  capable  of  moral 
action,  all  do  go  astray,  and  sin  against  God.     If  chil- 
dren were  not  depraved,  they  would  be  naturally  in- 
clined to  love  God,  and  delight  in  his  holy  law;  but  the 
reverse  is  true.     Perhaps  one  reason  why  so  few  are 
regenerated  at  this  early  age  is, lest  some  should  adopt 
the  opinion  that  grace  came  by  nature,  or  that  man 
was  not  corrupt  from  his  birth.     Some  have  opposed 
the  idea  that  any  are  sanctified  from  their  birth,  for 
fear  that  mere  moralists  and  those  religiously  edu- 
cated, should  indulge  the  hope  that  they  were  born  of 
God,  although  they  have  experienced  no  particular 
change,  in  any  part  of  their  lives,  as  far  back  as  me- 
mory reaches.     But,  allowing  that  some  may  improp- 
erly make  this  use  of  the  doctrine,  it  only  proves 
that  a  sound  doctrine  may  be  abused.     All  the  doc- 
trines of  grace  have  been  thus  abused,  and  will  be,  as 
long  as  "the  heart   is  deceitful   above  all  things." 
There  is,  however,  no  ground  for  those  who  are  still 
impenitent,  to  comfort  themselves  with  the  notion  that 
they  were  regenerated  in  early  infancy;  for  piety  in  a 
child  will  be  as  manifest  as  in  an  adult,  as  soon  as 
such  a  child  comes  to  the  exercise  of  reason;  and  in 
some  respects,  more  so,  because  there  are  so  few  young 


24 


THOUGHTS    ON 


children  who  arc  pious,  and  because  they  have  more 
simplicity  of  character,  and  are  much  less  liable  to  play 
the  hypocrite  than  persons  of  mature  age.  Mere  de- 
cency of  external  behaviour,  with  a  freedom  from 
gross  sins,  is  no  evidence  of  regeneration;  for  these 
things  may  be  found  in  many  whose  spirit  is  proud 
and  self-righteous,  and  entirely  opposite  to  the  reli- 
gion of  Christ:  and  we  know  that  outward  regularity 
and  sobriety  may  be  produced  by  the  restraints  of 
a  religious  education  and  good  example,  where  there 
are  found  none  of  the  internal  characteristics  of  gen- 
uine piety.  Suppose  then,  that,  in  a  certain  case, 
grace  has  been  communicated  at  so  early  a  period, 
that  its  first  exercises  cannot  be  remembered,  what 
will  be  the  evidences  which  we  should  expect  to 
find  of  its  existence?  Surely,  we  ought  not  to  look 
for  the  wisdom,  judgment,  and  stability  of  adult  years, 
even  in  di pious  child.  We  should  expect — if  I  may 
say  so — a  childish  piety:  a  simple,  devout,  and  tender 
state  of  heart.  As  soon  as  such  a  child  should  obtain 
the  first  ideas  of  God,  as  its  Creator,  Preserver,  and 
Benefactor,  and  of  Christ,  as  its  Saviour,  who  shed 
his  blood  and  laid  down  his  life  for  us  on  the  cross,  it 
would  be  piously  affected  with  these  truths,  and  would 
give  manifest  proof,  that  it  possessed  a  susceptibility 
of  emotions  and  affections  of  heart,  corresponding 
with  the  conceptions  of  truth  which  it  was  capable  of 
taking  in.  Such  a  child  would  be  liable  to  sin,  as  all 
Christians  are,  but,  when  made  sensible  of  faults,  it 
would  manifest  tenderness  of  conscience  and  genuine 
sorrow,  and  would  be  fearful  of  sirining  afterwards. 
When  taught  that  prayer  was  both  a  duty  and  pri- 
vilege, it  would  take  pleasure  in  drawing  nigh  to 
God,  and  would  be  conscientious  in  the  discharge  of 
secret  duties.  A  truly  pious  child  would  be  an  affec- 
tionate and  obedient  child  to  its  parents  and  teachers; 
and  kind  to  brothers  and  sisters,  and  indeed,  to  all 
other  persons;  and  would  take  a  lively  interest  in 
hearing  of  the  conversion  of  sinners,  and  the  advance- 
ment of  Christ's  kingdom  in  the  world.  We  ought 
not  to  expect  from  a  regenerated  child  uniform  atten- 


RELIGIOUS   EXPERIENCE.  25 

tion  to  serious  subjects,  or  a  freedom  from  that  gaiety 
and  volatility  which  is  characteristic  of  that  tender 
age;  but  we  should  expect  to  find  the  natural  pro- 
pensity moderated,  and  the  temper  softened  and  sea- 
soned, by  the  commingling  of  pious  thoughts  and  af- 
fections with  those  which  naturahy  flow  from  the  in- 
fant mind.  When  such  children  are  called,  in  Provi- 
dence, to  leave  the  world,  then  commonly,  their  piety 
breaks  out  into  a  flame,  and  these  young  saints,  under 
the  influence  of  divine  grace,  are  enabled  so  to  speak 
of  their  love  to  Christ  and  confidence  in  him,  as  aston- 
ishes, while  it  puts  to  shame  aged  Christians.  Many 
examples  of  this  kind  we  have  on  record,  where  the 
evidence  of  genuine  piety  was  as  strong  as  it  well 
could  be.  There  is  a  peculiar  sweetness,  as  well  as 
tenderness,  in  these  early  buddings  of  grace.  In  short, 
the  exercises  of  grace  are  the  same  in  a  child  as  in  an 
adult,  only  modified  by  the  peculiarities  in  the  charac- 
ter and  knowledge  of  a  child.  Indeed,  many  adults 
in  years,  who  are  made  the  subjects  of  grace,  are 
children  in  knowledge  and  understanding,  and  require 
the  same  indulgence,  in  our  judgments  of  them,  as 
children  in  years. 

To  those  wiio  cannot  fix  any  commencement  of 
their  pious  exercises,  but  who  possess  every  other 
evidence  of  a  change  of  heart,  I  would  say,  be  not 
discouraged  on  this  account,  but  rather  be  thankful 
that  you  have  been  so  early  placed  under  the  tender 
care  of  the  great  Shepherd,  and  have  thus  been  re- 
strained from  committing  matiy  sins,  to  which  your 
nature,  as  well  as  that  of  others,  was  inclined.  The 
habitual  evidences  of  piety  are  the  same,  at  whatever 
period  the  work  commenced.  If  you  possess  these, 
you  are  safe;  and  early  piety  is  probably  more  steady 
and  consistent  when  matured  by  age,  than  that  of 
later  origin,  though  the  change,  of  course,  cannot  be 
so  evident  to  yourselves  or  others. 

If  piety  may  commence  at  any  age,  how  solicitous 
should  parents  be  for  their  children,  that  God  would 
bestow  his  grace  upon  them,  even  before  they  know 
their  right  hand  from  their  left;  and,  when  about  to 


26 


THOUGHTS    ON 


dedicate  them  to  God,  in  holy  baptism,  how  earnestly 
should  they  pray  that  they  might  be  baptized  with 
the  Holy  Ghost — that  while  their  bodies  are  washed 
in  the  emblematical  laver  of  regeneration,  their  souls 
may  experience  the  renewing  of  the  Holy  Ghost, 
and  the  sprinkling  of  the  blood  of  Jesus.  If  the  sen- 
timents, expressed  above,  be  correct,  then  may  there 
be  such  a  thing  as  baptismal  regeneration;  not  that 
the  mere  external  application  of  water  can  have  any 
effect  to  purify  the  soul;  nor  that  internal  grace  uni- 
formly or  generally,  accompanies  this  external  wash- 
ing, but  that  God,  who  works  when  and  by  what 
means  he  pleases,  may  regenerate,  by  his  Spirit, 
the  soul  of  the  infant,  while  in  his  sacred  name, 
water  is  applied  to  the  body.  And,  what  time  in 
infancy  is  more  likely  to  be  the  period  of  spiritual 
quickening  than  the  moment  when  that  sacred  rite  is 
performed,  which  is  strikingly  emblematical  of  this 
change.  Whether  it  be  proper  to  say  that  baptism 
may  be  the  means  of  regeneration,  depends  on  the 
sense  in  which  the  word  means  is  used.  If  in  the 
sense  of  presenting  motives  to  the  rational  mind,  as 
when  the  word  is  read  or  heard,  then  it  is  not  a 
means;  for  the  child  has  no  knowledge  of  what  is 
done  for  it.  But,  if  by  means,  be  understood  some- 
thing which  is  accompanied  by  the  divine  efficiency, 
changing  the  moral  nature  of  the  infant,  then,  in  this 
sense,  baptism  may  be  called  the  means  of  regenera- 
tion when  thus  accompanied  by  divine  grace.  The 
reason  why  it  is  believed,  that  regeneration  does  not 
usually  accompany  baptism,  is  simply  because  no 
evidences  of  spiritual  life  appear  in  baptized  children 
more  than  in  those  which  remain  unbaptized. 

The  education  of  children  should  proceed  on  the 
principle  that  they  are  in  an  unregenerate  state,  until 
evidences  of  piety  clearly  appear,  in  which  case,  they 
should  be  sedulously  cherished  and  nurtured.  These 
are  Christ's  lambs — "  little  ones,  who  believe  in  him" 
whom  none  should  offend  or  mislead  upon  the  peril 
of  a  terrible  punishment.  But  though  the  religious 
education  of  children  should  proceed  on  the  ground 


RELIGIOUS     EXPERIENCE.  27 

that  they  are  destitute  of  grace,  it  ought  ever  to  be 
used  as  a  means  of  grace.  Every  lesson,  therefore, 
should  be  accompanied  with  the  lifting  np  of  the 
heart  of  the  instructer  to  God  for  a  blessing  on  the 
means.  "Sanctify  them  through  thy  truth;  thy  word 
is  truth." 

Although  the  grace  of  God  may  be  communicated 
to  a  human  soul,  at  any  period  of  its  existence,  in  this 
world;  yet  the  fact  manifestly  is,  that  very  few  are 
renewed  before  the  exercise  of  reason  commences; 
and  not  many,  in  early  childhood.  Most  persons, 
with  whom  we  have  been  acquainted,  grew  up  with- 
out giving  any  decisive  evidence  of  a  change  of  heart. 
Though  religiously  educated,  yet  they  have  evinced 
a  want  of  love  to  God,  and  an  aversion  to  spiritual 
things.  Men  are  very  reluctant,  it  is  true,  to  admit 
that  their  hearts  are  wicked,  and  at  enmity  with  God. 
They  declare  that  they  are  conscious  of  no  such  feel- 
ing, but  still  the  evidence  of  a  dislike  to  the  spiritual 
worship  of  God,  they  cannot  altogether  disguise;  and 
this  is  nothing  else  but  enmity  to  God.  They  might 
easily  be  convicted  of  loving  the  world  more  than 
God,  the  creature  more  than  the  Creator;  and  we 
know  that  he,  who  will  be  the  friend  of  the  world,  is 
the  enemy  of  God.  Let  the  most  moral  and  amiable 
of  mankind,  who  are  in  this  natural  state,  be  asked 
such  questions  as  these,  Do  you  take  real  pleasure 
in  perusing  the  sacred  Scriptures,  especially  those 
parts  which  are  most  spiritual?  Do  you  take  delight 
in  secret  prayer,  and  find  your  heart  drawn  out  to 
God,  in  strong  desires?  Do  you  spend  much  time  in 
contemplating  the  divine  attributes?  Are  you  in  the 
habit  of  communing  with  your  own  hearts,  and  ex- 
amining the  true  temper  of  your  souls?  No  unregene- 
rate  persons  can  truly  answer  these,  and  such  like 
questions,  in  the  affirmative.  It  is  evident,  then,  that 
most  persons,  whom  we  see  around  us,  and  with 
whom  we  daily  converse,  are  in  the  gall  of  bitterness 
and  bond  of  iniquity,  and,  continuing  in  that  state, 
where  Christ  is  they  never  can  come.  And  yet,  alas! 
they  are  at  ease  in  Zion;  and  seem  to  have  no  fear  of 


28 


THOUGHTS    ON 


that  wrath  which  is  coming.     Their  case  is  not  only- 
dangerous,  but  discouraging.     Yet  those  who  are  now 
in  a  state  of  grace,  yea,  those  of  our  race  who  are 
now  in   heaven,  were  once  in  the  same  condition. 
You,  my  reader,  may  now  be  a  member  of  Christ's 
body,  and  an  heir  of  his  glory;  but  you  can  easily  look 
back,  and  remember  the  time,  when  you  were  as  un- 
concerned about  your  salvation,  as  any  of  the  gay, 
who    are  now   fluttering  around  you.      The   same 
power  which  arrested  you,  is  able  to  stop  their  mad 
career.      Still  hope   and   pray  for  their  conversion. 
But  tell  me,  how  were  you  brought  to  turn  from  your 
wayward,  downward  course?     This,  as  it  relates  to 
the  external  means  of  awakening,  would  receive  a 
great  variety  of  answers.      One  would  say,  while 
hearing  a  particular  sermon,  I  was  awakened  to  see 
my  lost  estate,  and  I  never  found  rest  or  peace  until  I 
was  enabled   to  believe  in  the   Lord  Jesus  Christ. 
Another  would  answer,  I  was  brought  to  a  consider- 
ation, by  the  solemn  and  pointed  conversation  of  a 
pious  friend,  who  sought  my  salvation.     While    a 
third  would  answer,  "  I  was  led  to  serious  considera- 
tion, by  having  the  hand  of  God  laid  heavily  upon  me, 
in  some  afiiiction."     In  regard  to  many,  the  answer 
would  be,  that  their   minds  were  gradually  led  to 
serious  consideration,  they  scarcely  know  how.  Now, 
in  regard  to  these  external  means  or  circumstances,  it 
matters  not,  whether  the  attention  was  arrested,  and 
the   conscience    awakened,  by  this   or   that   means, 
gradually  or  suddenly.     Neither  do  these  things  at  all 
assist  in  determining  the  nature  of  the  effect  produced. 
All  who  ever  became  pious  must  have  begun  with 
serious  consideration, whatever  means  were  employed 
to  produce  this  state  of  mind.     But  all  who,  for  a  sea- 
son,   become    serious,  are   not   certainly  converted. 
There  may  be  solemn  impressions  and  deep  awaken- 
ings which  never  terminate  in  a  saving  change,  but 
end  in  some  delusion,  or  the  person  returns  again  to 
his  old  condition;  or  rather  to  one  much  worse;  for  it 
may  be  laid  down  as  a  maxim,  that  religious  impres- 
sions opposed,  leave  the  soul  in  a  more  hardened  state 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  29 

than  before;  just  as  iron,  heated  and  then  cooled,  be- 
comes harder.  In  general,  those  impressions  which 
come  on  gradually,  without  any  unusual  means,  are 
more  permanent  than  those  which  are  produced  by 
circumstances  of  a  striking  and  alarming  nature.  But 
even  here  there  is  no  general  rule.  The  nature  of  the 
permanent  effects  is  the  only  sure  criterion.  "By 
their  fruits  ye  shall  know  them." 

That  conviction  of  sin  is  a  necessary  part  of  ex- 
perimental religion,  all  will  admit;  but  there  is  one 
question  respecting  this  matter,  concerning  which 
there  may  be  much  doubt;  and  that  is,  whether  a 
law-work^  prior  to  regeneration,  is  necessary;  or, 
whether  all  true  and  salutary  conviction  is  not  the 
effect  of  regeneration.  I  find'  that  a  hundred  years 
ago,  this  was  a  matter  in  dispute  between  the  two 
parties,  into  which  the  Presbyterian  church  was  divi- 
ded, called  the  old  and  new  side.  The  Tennents  and 
Blairs  insisted  much  on  the  necessity  of  conviction  of 
sin,  by  the  law,  prior  to  regeneration ;  while  Thompson 
and  his  associates  were  of  opinion,  that  no  such  work 
was  necessary,  nor  should  be  insisted  on.  As  far  as 
I  know,  the  opinion  of  the  necessity  of  legal  convic- 
tion has  generally  prevailed  in  all  our  modern  revi- 
vals: and  it  is  usually  taken  for  granted,  that  the  con- 
victions experienced  are  prior  to  regeneration.  But 
it  would  be  very  difficult  to  prove  from  Scripture,  or 
from  the  nature  of  the  case,  that  such  a  preparatory 
work  was  necessary.  Suppose  an  individual  to  be, 
in  some  certain  moment,  regenerated;  such  a  soul 
would  begin  to  see  with  new  eyes,  and  his  own  sins 
would  be  among  the  things  first  viewed  in  a  nev/ 
light.  He  would  be  convinced,  not  only  of  the  fact 
that  they  were  transgressions  of  ihe  law,  but  he  would 
also  see,  that  they  were  intrinsically  evil,  and  deserved 
the  punishment  to  which  they  exposed  him.  It  is 
only  such  a  conviction  as  this  that  really  prepares  a 
soul  to  accept  of  Christ  in  all  his  offices;  not  only  as  a 
Saviour  from  wrath,  but  from  sin.  And  it  can  scarce- 
ly be  believed,  that  that  clear  view  of  the  justice  of 
God,  in  their  condemnation,  which  most  sensibly  ex- 

3 


30  THOUGHTS    ON 

perience,  is  the  fruit  of  a  mere  legal  conviction,  on  an 
unregenerate  heart.  For  this  view  of  God's  justice 
is  not  merely  of  the  fact,  that  this  is  his  character,  but 
of  the  divine  excellency  of  his  attributes,  which  is 
accompanied  with  admiration  of  it,  and  a  feeling  of  ac- 
quiescence or  submission.  This  view  is  sometimes  so 
clear,  and  the  equity  and  propriety  of  punishing  sin  are 
so  manifest,  and  the  feeling  of  acquiescence  so  strong, 
that  it  has  laid  the  foundation  for  the  very  absurd 
opinion,  that  the  true  penitent  is  made  willing  to  be 
damned  for  the  glory  of  God.  When  such  a  convic- 
tion as  this  is  experienced,  the  soul  is  commonly  nigh 
to  comfort,  although  at  the  moment  it  is  common  to 
entertain  the  opinion,  that  there  is  no  salvation  for  it. 
It  is  wonderful,  and  almost  unaccountable,  how  calm 
the  soul  is  in  the  prospect  of  being  for  ever  lost.  An 
old  lady  of  the  Baptist  denomination  was  the  first 
person  I  ever  heard  give  an  account  of  Christian 
experience,  and  I  recollect  that  she  said  that  she  was 
so  deeply  convinced  that  she  should  be  lost,  that  she 
began  to  think  how  she  should  feel  and  be  exercised 
in  hell;  and  it  occurred  to  her,  that  all  in  that  horrid 
place  were  employed  in  blaspheming  the  name  of 
God.  The  thought  of  doing  so  was  rejected  with 
abhorrence,  and  she  felt  as  if  she  must  and  would  love 
him,  even  there,  for  his  goodness  to  her;  for  she  saw 
that  she  alone  was  to  blame  for  her  destruction,  and 
that  He  could  in  consistence  with  his  character  do 
nothing  else  but  inflict  this  punishment  on  her.  Now 
surely  her  heart  was  already  changed,  although  not  a 
ray  of  comfort  had  dawned  upon  her  mind.  But  is 
there  not  before  this,  generally,  a  rebellious  rising 
against  God,  and  a  disposition  to  find  fault  with  his 
dealings?  It  may  be  so  in  many  cases,  but  this  feel- 
ing is  far  from  being  as  universal  as  some  suppose. 
As  far  as  the  testimony  of  pious  people  can  be  de- 
pended on,  there  are  many  whose  first  convictions  ate 
of  tlie  evil  of  sin,  rather  than  of  its  danger,  and  who 
feel  real  compunction  of  spirit  for  having  committed 
it,  accompanied  with  a  lively  feeling  of  ingratitude. 
This  question,  however,  is  not  of  any  great  practical 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


31 


importance;  but  there  are  some  truly  pions  persons 
who  are  distressed  and  perplexed,  because  iliey  never 
experienced  that  kind  of  conviction  which  they  hear 
others  speak  of,  and  the  necessity  of  which  is  insisted 
on  by  some  preachers.  Certainly  that  which  the 
reprobate  may  experience — which  is  not  different 
from  what  all  the  guilty  will  feel  at  the  day  of  judg- 
ment— cannot  be  a  necessary  part  of  true  religion; 
and  yet  it  does  appear  to  be  a  common  thing  for 
awakened  persons  to  be  at  first  under  a  mere  legal 
conviction.  3. 

Though  man,  in  his  natural  state,  is  spiritually 
dead,  that  is,  entirely  destitute  of  any  spark  of  true 
holiness,  yet  is  he  still  a  reasonable  being,  and  has  a 
conscience  by  which  he  is  capable  of  discerning  the 
difference  between  good  and  evil,  and  of  feeling  the 
force  of  moral  obligation.  By  having  his  sins  brought 
clearly  before  his  mind,  and  his  conscience  awakened 
from  its  stupor,  he  can  be  made  to  feel  what  his  true 
condition  is  as  a  transgressor  of  the  holy  law  of  God. 
This  sight  and  sense  of  sin,  under  the  influence  of  the 
common  operations  of  the  Spirit  of  God,  is  what  is 
usually  styled  conviction  of  sin.  And  there  can  be 
no  doubt  that  these  views  and  feelings  may  he  very 
clear  and  strong  in  an  unrenewed  mind.  Indeed, 
they  do  not  differ  in  kind  from  what  every  sinner  will 
experience  at  the  day  of  judgment,  when  his  own 
conscience  will  condemn  him,  and  he  will  stand  guilty 
before  his  judge.  But  there  is  nothing  in  this  kind  of 
conviction  which  has  any  tendency  to  change  the 
heart,  or  to  make  it  better.  Some  indeed  have  main- 
tained, with  some  show  of  reason,  that  under  mere 
legal  conviction,  the  sinner  grows  worse  and  worse; 
and  certainly  he  sees  his  sins  to  be  greater  in  propor- 
tion as  the  light  of  truth  increases.  There  is  not, 
therefore,  in  such  convictions,  however  clear  and 
strong,  any  approximation  to  regeneration.  It  cannot 
be  called  a  preparatory  work  to  this  change,  in  the 
sense  of  disposing  the  person  to  receive  the  grace  of 
God.  The  only  end  which  it  can  answer  is  to  show 
the  rational  creature  his  true  condition,  and  to  con- 


32  THOUGHTS    ON 

vince  the  sinner  of  his  absolute  need  of  a  Saviour. 
Under  conviction  there  is  frequently  a  more  sensible 
rising  of  the  enmity  of  the  heart  against  God  and  his 
law;  but  feelings  of  this  kind  do  not  belong  to  the 
essence  of  conviction.  There  is  also  sometimes  an 
awful  apprehension  of  danger;  the  imagination  is  fill- 
ed with  strong  images  of  terror,  and  hell  seems  almost 
uncovered  to  the  view  of  the  convinced  sinner.  But 
there  may  be  much  of  this  feeling  of  terror,  where 
there  is  very  little  real  conviction  of  sin;  and  on  the 
other  hand,  there  often  is  deep  and  permanent  convic- 
tion, where  the  passions  and  imagination  are  very  little 
excited. 

When  the  entrance  of  hght  is  gradual,  the  first  ef- 
fect of  an  awakened  conscience  is,  to  attempt  to  rec- 
tify what  now  appears  to  have   been  wrong  in  the 
conduct.     It  is  very  common  for  the  conscience,  at 
first,  to  be  affected  with  outward  acts  of  transgres- 
sion, and  especially  with  some  one  prominent  offence. 
An  external  reformation  is  now  begun:  for  this  can 
be  effected  by  mere  legal  conviction.     To  this  is  added 
an  attention  to  the  external  duties  of  religion,  such 
as  prayer,  reading  the  Bible,  hearing  the  word,  &c. 
Everything,  however,  is  done  with  a  legal  spirit; 
that  is,  with  the   wish  and  expectation   of  making 
amends  for  past  offences;  and   if  painful    penances 
should  be  prescribed  to  the  sinner,  lie  will  readily 
submit  to  them  if  he  may,  by  this  means,  make  some 
atonement  for  his  sins.     But  as  the  light  increases,  he 
begins  to  see  that  the  heart  is  wicked;  and  to  be  con- 
vinced that  his  very  prayers  are  polluted  for  want  of 
right  motives  and  aff"ections.     He,  of  course,  tries  to 
regulate  his  thoughts,  and  to  exercise  right  aff'ections; 
but  here  his  efforts  prove  fruitless.     It  is  much  easier 
to  reform  the  life  than  to  bring  the  corrupt  heart  into 
a  right  state.     The  case  now  begins  to  appear  despe- 
rate, and  the  sinner  knows  not  which  way  to  turn  for 
relief,   and,  to   cap   the   climax   of  his   distress,   he 
comes  at  length  to  be  conscious  of  nothing  but  un- 
yielding hardness  of  heart.    He  fears  that  the  con- 
viction which  he  seemed  to  have,  is  gone,  and  that  he 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


is  left  to  total  obduracy.  In  these  circumstances  he 
desires  to  feel  keen  compunction,  and  overwhelming 
terror,  for  his  impression  is,  that  he  is  entirely  without 
conviction.  The  truth,  however,  is,  that  his  convic- 
tions are  far  greater,  than  if  he  experienced  that  sen- 
sible distress  which  he  so  much  courts.  In  this  case, 
he  would  not  think  his  heart  so  incurably  bad,  because 
it  could  entertain  some  right  feeling,  but  as  it  is,  he 
sees  it  to  be  destitute  of  every  good  emotion,  and  of 
all  tender  relentings.  He  has  got  down  to  the  core  of 
iniquity,  and  finds  within  his  breast  a  heart  unsuscep- 
tible of  any  good  thing.  Does  he  hear  that  others 
have  obtained  relief  by  hearing  such  a  preacher,  read- 
ing such  a  book,  conversing  with  some  experienced 
Christian?  he  resorts  to  the  same  means, but  entirely 
without  effect.  The  heart  seems  to  become  more  in- 
sensible, in  proportion  to  the  excellence  of  the  means 
enjoyed.  Though  he  declares  he  has  no  sensibility  of 
any  kind,  yet  his  anxiety  increases;  and  perhaps  he 
determines  to  give  himself  up  solely  to  prayer  and 
reading  the  Bible;  and  if  he  perish,  to  perish  seeking 
for  mercy.  But  however  strong  such  resolutions  may 
be,  they  are  found  to  be  in  vain ;  for  now,  when  he  at- 
tempts to  pray,  he  finds  his  mouth  as  it  were  shut. 
He  cannot  pray.  He  cannot  read.  He  cannot  medi- 
tate. What  can  he  do?  Nothing.  He  has  come  to 
the  end  of  his  legal  efforts;  and  the  result  has  been, 
the  simple,  deep  conviction  that  he  can  do  nothing; 
and  if  God  does  not  mercifully  interpose,  he  must  in- 
evitably perish.  During  all  this  process  he  has  some 
idea  of  the  need  of  divine  help;  but  until  now,  he 
was  not  entirely  cut  off  from  all  dependence  on  his 
own  strength  and  exertions.  He  still  hoped  that,  by 
some  kind  of  effort  or  feeling,  he  could  prepare  him- 
self for  the  mercy  of  God.  Now  he  despairs  of  this; 
and  not  only  so,  but  for  a  season  he  despairs,  it  may 
be,  of  salvation — gives  himself  up  for  lost.  I  do  not 
say,  that  this  is  a  necessary  feeling,  by  any  means, 
but  know  that  it  is  very  natural,  and  by  no  means  un- 
common, in  real  experience.  But  conviction  having 
accomplished  all  that  it  is  capable  of  effecting,  that  is, 


34 


THOUGHTS    ON 


having  emptied  the  creature  of  self-dependence  and 
self-righteousness,  and  brought  him  to  the  utmost  ex- 
tremity— even  to  the  borders  of  despair,  it  is  time  for 
God  to  work.  The  proverb  says,  "  Man's  extremity 
is  God's  opportunity:"  so  it  is  in  this  case;  and  at  this 
time,  it  may  reasonably  be  supposed,  the  work  of  re- 
generation is  wrought;  for  a  new  state  of  feeling  is 
now  experienced.  Upon  calm  reflection,  God  ap- 
pears to  have  been  just  and  good  in  all  his  dispensa- 
tions; the  blame  of  its  perdition  the  soul  fully  takes 
upon  itself;  acknowledges  its  ill-desert,  and  acquits 
God.  "Against  thee,  thee  only,  have  I  sinned  and 
done  this  evil  in  thy  sight,  that  thou  mightest  be  justi- 
fied when  thou  speakest,  and  be  clear  when  thou 
judgest."  The  sirmer  resigns  himself  into  the  hands 
of  God;  and  yet  is  convinced  that  if  he  does  perish 
he  will  sutler  only  what  his  sins  deserve.  He  does 
not  fully  discover  the  glorious  plan  according  to  which 
God  can  be  just  and  the  justifier  of  the  ungodly  who 
believe  in  Jesus  Christ. 

The  above  is  not  given  as  a  course  of  experience 
which  all  real  Christians  can  recognize  as  their  own, 
but  as  a  train  of  exercises  which  is  very  common. 
And  so  I  do  not  consider  legal  conviction  as  necessary 
to  precede  regeneration,  but  suppose  there  are  cases 
in  which  the  first  serious  impressions  may  be  the  ef- 
fect of  regeneration,  I  cannot,  of  course,  consider  any 
particular  train  of  exercises  under  the  law  as  essen- 
tial. It  has  been  admitted,  however,  that  legal  con- 
viction does  in  fact  lake  place  in  most  instances,  prior 
to  regeneration ;  and  it  is  not  an  unreasonable  inquiry, 
why  is  the  sinner  thus  awakened?  What  good  pur- 
pose does  it  answer?  The  reply  has  been  already 
partially  given ;  but  it  may  be  remarked,  that  God 
deals  with  man  as  an  accountable,  moral  agent,  and 
before  he  rescues  him  from  the  ruin  into  which  he  is 
sunk,  he  would  let  him  see  and  feel,  in  some  measure, 
how  wretched  his  condition  is;  how  helpless  he  is  in 
himself,  and  how  ineffectual  are  his  most  strenuous 
efforts  to  deliver  him  from  his  sin  and  misery.  Ho 
is,  therefore,  permitted  to  try  his  own  wisdom  and 


RELIGIOTJS    EXPERIENCE.  35 

Strength;  and  finally,  to  lead  him  to  the  full  acknow- 
ledgment of  his  own  guilt,  and  to  justify  the  right- 
eous Judge  who  condemns  him  to  everlasting  tor- 
ment. Conviction,  then,  is  no  part  of  a  sinner's  sal- 
vation, but  the  clear  practical  knowledge  of  the  fact 
that  he  cannot  save  himself,  and  is  entirely  dependant 
on  the  saving  grace  of  God. 


CHAPTER  III. 

The  new  birth  an  event  of  great  importance. — The  evidences  of  the 
new  birth. — Diversities  of  experience  in  Converts. — Examples. — 
Causes  of  diversity. 

There  is  no  more  important  event,  which  occurs  in 
our  world,  than  the  new  birth  of  an  immortal  soul. 
Heirs  to  titles  and  estates,  to  kingdoms  and  empires, 
are  frequently  born,  and  such  events  are  blazoned 
with  imposing  pomp,  and  celebrated  by  poets  and 
orators,  but  what  are  all  these  honours  and  posses- 
sions but  the  gewgaws  of  cliildren,  when  compared 
with  the  inheritance  and  glory  to  which  every  child 
of  God  is  born  an  heir.  But  this  being  a  birth  from 
above,  and  all  the  blessings  and  privileges  of  the 
young  heir,  of  a  hidden  and  spiritual  nature,  the 
world  around  cannot  be  expected  to  take  a  lively  in- 
terest in  the  event.  It  is  with  the  children  of  God  as 
with  the  divine  Saviour;  "the  world  knoweth  them 
not  as  it  knew  him  not."  The  night  on  which  He 
was  born,  there  was  a  great  crowd  of  the  descendants 
of  David,  collected  from  every  part  of  the  Holy  land, 
where  they  were  scattered  abroad;  but  none  of  all 
these  knew  that  a  Saviour  was  born  that  night.  Yet 
the  angels  celebrated  the  event  in  a  truly  celestial 
hymn,  and  announced  the  glad  tidings  to  a  company 
of  simple  shepherds,  who  were  watching  their  flocks 
in  the  open  field.  So  these  celestial  inhabitants,  the 
messengers  of  God,  take  a  lively  interest  still  in  events 


36 


THOUGHTS    ON 


in  which  a  gay  and  ungodly  world  feel  no  concern. 
For  "  there  is  joy  in  the  presence  of  the  angels  of  God 
over  one  sinner  that  repenteth."  How  they  know 
certainly  when  a  soul  is  born  to  God,  we  need  not 
inquire;  for  they  have  faculties  and  sources  of  know- 
ledge, unknown  to  us.  We  know  that  "they  are  all 
ministering  spirits,  sent  forth  to  minister  for  them  who 
shall  be  heirs  of  salvation;"  but  how  they  carry  on 
their  ministry  we  cannot  tell.  If  the  evil  spirit  can 
inject  evil  thoughts  into  our  minds,  why  may  not  good 
spirits  suggest  pious  thoughts,  or  occasionally  make 
sudden  impressions  for  our  warning,  or  change,  by 
some  means,  the  train  of  our  thoughts?  No  doubt 
the  devil  soon  learns  the  fact,  when  a  sinner  is  con- 
verted unto  God;  for  he  has  then  lost  a  subject,  and, 
perhaps,  no  conversion  ever  takes  place,  which  he 
does  not  use  every  effort  to  prevent. 

Bnt,  to  return  to  our  subject.  The  implantation  of 
spiritual  life  in  a  soul  dead  in  sin,  is  an  event,  the 
consequences  of  which  will  never  end.  When  you 
plant  an  acorn,  and  it  grows,  you  expect  not  to  see  the 
maturity,  much  less  the  end  of  the  majestic  oak,  which 
will  expand  its  boughs  and  strike  deeply  into  the  earth 
its  roots.  The  fierce  blast  of  centuries  of  winters  may 
beat  upon  it  and  agitate  it;  but  it  resists  them  all.  Yet 
finally  this  majestic  oak,  and  all  its  towering  branches, 
must  fall.  Trees  die  with  old  age,  as  well  as  men. 
But  the  plants  of  grace  shall  ever  live.  They  shall 
flourish  in  everlasting  verdure.  They  will  bear  trans- 
planting to  another  clime — to  another  world.  They 
shall  bloom  and  bear  fruit  in  the  paradise  of  God.  At 
such  an  hour  one  is  born  in  Zion  unto  God.  Few 
know  it — few  care  for  the  event,  or  consider  it  of 
much  importance.  But,  reader,  this  feeble  germ — 
this  incipient  bud,  will  go  on  to  grow  and  flourish  for 
infinitely  more  years  than  there  are  sands  upon  the 
sea  shore.  To  drop  the  figure.  This  renewed  soul  will 
be  seen  and  known  among  the  saints  in  heaven,  and 
assisting  in  the  never-ceasing  songs  of  those  who  sur- 
round the  throne  of  God  and  the  Lamb,  millions  of 
ages  hereafter.    Pure  and  holy  shall  it  be — "  without 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


37 


spot  or  wrinkle  or  any  such  thing."  Bright  as  an 
angel,  and  as  free  from  moral  taint — but  still  dis- 
tinguished from  those  happy  beings,  to  whom  it  is 
equal,  by  singing  a  song  in  which  they  can  never 
join — in  wearing  robes  made  white  in  the  blood  of 
the  Lamb;  and  claiming  a  nearer  kindred  to  the  Son 
of  God,  than  Gabriel  himself.  Can  that  event  be  of 
small  moment,  which  lays  a  foundation  for  immortal 

bliss? for  ETERNAL  LIFE? 

Let  us,  then,  patiently  and  impartially  inquire  into 
some  of  the  circumstances  and  evidences  of  the  new 
birth.  And  here  I  cannot  but  remark,  that  among 
all  the  preposterous  notions  which  a  new  and  crude 
theology  has  poured  forth  so  profusely,  in  our  day, 
there  is  none  more  absurd,  than  that  a  dead  sinner 
can  beget  new  life  in  himself  The  very  idea  of  a 
man's  becoming  his  own  father  in  the  spiritual  re- 
generation, is  as  unreasonable  as  such  a  supposition 
in  relation  to  our  first  birth.  Away  with  all  such 
soul-destroying,  God-dishonouring  sentiments.  Which 
were  "born  not  of  blood,  nor  of  the  will  of  the  flesh, 
nor  of  the  will  of  man,  but  of  God" — "Born  of  the 
Spirit" — "And  you  hath  HE  quickened  who  were 
dead  in  trespasses  and  sins."  But  who  can  trace  the 
work  of  the  Spirit  in  this  wonderful  renovation?  Can 
we  tell  how  our  bones  and  sinews  were  formed  in 
our  mothers'  wombs?  Surely,  then,  there  must  be 
mystery  in  the  second  birth.  As  our  Lord  said  to 
Nicodemus  when  discoursing  on  this  very  subject:  "If 
I  have  told  you  earthly  things,  and  ye  believe  not, 
how  shall  ye  believe  if  I  tell  you  of  heavenly  things?" 
"  The  wind  bloweth  where  it  listeth,  and  thou  hearest 
the  sound  thereof,  but  canst  not  tell  whence  it  cometh, 
and  whither  it  goeth." 

There  are,  doubtless,  great  diversities  in  the  ap- 
pearances of  the  motions  and  actings  of  spiritual  life 
in  its  incipient  stages. 

The  agent  is  the  same — the  deadness  of  the  subject 
the  same — the  instrument  the  same,  and  the  nature  of 
the  effect  the  same,  in  every  case.  But  still,  there  are 
many  differing  circumstances,  which  cause  a  great 


38 


THOUGHTS    ON 


variety  in  appearance  and  expression;  such  as  the 
degree  of  vigour  in  the  principle  of  life  communicated. 
I  know,  indeed,  that  there  are  some  who  entertain 
the  opinion,  that  the  new  creature  as  it  comes  from 
the  hand  of  God — if  I  may  so  speak — is  in  all  respects 
identical  or  of  equal  valne.  But  this  is  not  the  fact. 
There  is  as  much  difference  in  the  original  vigonr  of 
spiritual  as  of  natural  life.  Now,  who  does  not  per- 
ceive, what  a  remarkable  difference  this  will  make  in 
all  the  actings  and  external  exhibitions  of  this  princi- 
ple. As  in  nature,  some  children  as  soon  as  born  are 
active  and  vigorous  and  healthy;  and  let  all  around 
know  quickly  that  they  are  alive  and  have  strong 
feeling  too;  whereas  others  come  into  the  world  with 
so  feeble  a  spark  of  life,  that  it  can  hardly  be  discerned 
whether  they  breathe  or  have  any  pulsation  in  their 
heart  and  arteries;  and  when  it  is  ascertained  that 
they  live,  the  principle  of  vitality  is  so  weak,  and  sur- 
rounded with  so  many  untoward  circumstances  and 
symptoms,  that  there  is  a  small  prospect  of  the  infant 
reaching  maturity.  Just  so  it  is,  in  the  new  birth, 
some  are  brought  at  once  into  the  clear  light  of  day. 
They  came  "out  of  darkness  into  the  marvellous  light" 
of  the  gospel.  ''  Old  things  are"  consequently  "  passed 
away,  and  all  things  are  become  new."  The  change 
is  most  obvious  and  remarkable.  They  are  as  if  in- 
troduced into  a  new^  world.  The  Sun  of  righteous- 
ness has  risen  upon  them,  without  an  intervening 
cloud.  Their  perception  of  divine  things  is  so  new 
and  so  clear,  that  they  feel  persuaded  that  they  can 
convince  others,  and  cause  them  to  see  and  feel  as 
they  do.  Indeed,  they  wonder  why  they  did  not 
always  see  things  in  this  light,  and  they  do  not  know 
why  others  do  not  see  them  as  they  do.  Such  per- 
sons can  no  more  doubt  of  their  conversion  than  of 
their  existence.  Such  a  case  was  that  of  Saul  of 
Tarsus.  Such  also  was  the  case  of  Col.  Gardiner. 
Now  this  bright  day  may  be  clouded  over,  or  it  may 
not.  In  the  case  of  the  two  persons  mentioned,  there 
does  not  seem  ever  to  have  arisen  a  passing  cloud  to 
create  a  doubt  whether  indeed  they  had  been  brought 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  39 

to  enjoy  the  light  of  a  heavenly  day.  But  many  a 
day  which  hegins  with  an  unclouded  sun,  is  deformed 
by  dark  and  lowering  clouds,  and  even  agitated  with 
tremendous  storms  before  it  closes.  So  it  may  be  in 
the  spiritual  life.  Some  commence  their  pilgrimage 
under  the  most  favourable  auspices,  and  seem  to 
stand  so  firmly  on  the  mount,  that  they  are  ready  to 
say,  "  I  shall  never  be  moved."  Yet  when  their 
Lord  hides  his  face,  they  are  soon  troubled;  and  may 
long  walk  in  darkness,  and  enjoy  no  hght  of  comfort. 
And  commonly  this  change  is  brought  about  by  our 
own  spiritual  pride  and  carelessness. 

The  opinion  commonly  entertained,  that  the  most 
enormous  sinners  are  the  subjects  of  the  most  pungent 
convictions  of  sin,  and  the  most  alarming  terrors  of 
hell,  is  not  correct.  In  regard  to  such,  the  commence- 
ment of  a  work  of  grace  is  sometimes  very  gradual, 
and  the  impressions  so  apparently  slight,  that  they 
afford  very  little  ground  of  sanguine  expectations  of 
the  result.  While,  on  the  other  hand,  some  persons 
of  an  unblemished  moral  character,  and  who,  from 
the  influence  of  a  religious  education,  have  ahvays 
respected  religion,  and  venerated  its  ordinances,  when 
brought  under  conviction,  are  more  terribly  alarmed 
and  more  overwhelmed  with  distress,  than  others 
whose  lives  have  been  stained  by  gross  crimes.  The 
Rev.  John  Newton,  when  awakened  to  some  sense 
of  his  sinful  and  dangerous  condition,  which  occurred 
during  a  violent  and  long  continued  storm  at  sea, 
though  his  judgment  was  convinced  that  he  was  the 
greatest  of  sinners,  and  he  doubted  whether  it  was 
possible  for  him  to  be  saved ;  yet  seems  to  have  had 
no  very  deep  feelings  or  agitating  fears.  He  says, 
"  It  was  not  till  after,  perhaps,  several  years,  that  I 
had  gained  some  clear  views  of  the  infinite  righteous- 
ness and  grace  of  Christ  Jesus  my  Lord,  that  I  had  a 
deep  and  strong  apprehension  of  my  state  by  nature 
and  practice;  and  perhaps  till  then  I  could  not  have 
borne  the  sight;  so  wonderfully  does  the  Lord  pro- 
portion the  discoveries  of  sin  and  grace.  For  he  knows 
our  frame,  and  that  if  he  were  to  put  forth  the  great- 


40 


THOUGHTS    ON 


ness  of  his  power,  a  poor  sinner  would  be  instantly- 
overwhelmed,  and  crushed  as  a  moth."  And,  though 
from  this  time  there  was  a  sensible  change,  and  his 
mind  was  turned  towards  religion,  yet  it  is  evident 
from  the  history  of  his  life,  as  well  as  his  experiences 
afterwards,  that  grace  existed  during  several  years, 
in  the  feeblest  state  of  which  we  can  well  conceive. 
It  appeared  so  much  so  to  himself,  that  he  warns  all 
persons  from  considering  his  experience  a  model  for 
for  them.  "  As  to  myself,"  says  he,  "  every  part  of 
my  case  has  been  extraordinary — I  have  hardly  met 
a  single  instance  resembling  it.  Few,  very  few  have 
been  rescued  from  such  a  dreadful  state,  and  those 
few  that  have  been  thus  favoured,  have  generally- 
passed  through  the  most  severe  convictions;  and, 
after  the  Lord  has  given  them  peace,  their  future  lives 
have  been  usually  more  zealous,  bright,  and  exem- 
plary than  common."  Now  this  is  the  opinion  wliich 
I  think,  is  taken  up  rather  from  theory  than  an  ob- 
servation of  facts.  I  think  that  those  persons,  who 
have  been  most  conversant  with  exercised  souls  will 
say  that  there  is  no  general  rule  here — that  very  pun- 
gent convictions  and  deep  distress  are  found  as  fre- 
quently in  those  who  have  been  preserved  from  out- 
breaking transgressions,  as  in  those  noted  for  their 
immoralities.  There  seems,  indeed,  more  reason  for 
severe  convictions  in  the  latter  case;  but  convictions 
are  not  uniformly  proportioned  to  the  magnitude  of 
crimes.  And  in  truth,  we  are  incapable  of  comparing 
together  the  heinousness  of  the  sins  of  different  per- 
sons. The  moral  man,  as  we  call  him,  may  be  the 
greater  sinner  of  the  two,  when  weighed  in  the 
balances  of  the  sanctuary.  I  heard  a  popular  preacher 
once  undertake  to  prove,  that  moral  men  and  formal 
professors  must,  in  all  cases,  be  far  more  wicked  than 
the  blaspheming  infidel,  and  gross  debauchee.  The 
argument  was  plausible,  but  laboured  under  one  es- 
sential defect ;  and  I  was  of  opinion,  and  still  am,  that 
such  a  doctrine  is  highly  dangerous,  and  calculated  to 
encourage  men  to  go  to  all  lengths  in  wickedness. 
When  I  was  a  very  young  preacher,  1  expressed  the 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  41 

opinion,  in  a  sermon  preached  in  North  C  irolina,  that 
the  mere  morahst  and  formalist  were  more  out  of  the 
way  of  conviction  than  the  openly  profane.     When 
the  sermon  was  ended,  a  fierce  looking  man  came  up 
to  me  and  said  that  I   had  delivered   precisely  his 
opinion  on  one  point,  and  mentioned  the  above  senti-€ 
ment.     I  inquired,  when  he  was  gon€,  who  he  was, 
and  found  that  he  was  the  most  notorious  profligate 
in  all  the  country;  and  not  long  afterwards  he  was 
apprehended  and  imprisoned,  at  the  head  of  a  com- 
pany engaged  in  felonious  acts.     This  taught  me  a 
lesson  which  I  never  forgot.     Mr.  Newton  proceeds 
thus:  "Now,  on  the  one  hand,  my  convictions  were 
very  moderate,  and  far  below  what  might  have  been 
expected  from   the   dreadful  review  I   had  to  make; 
so,  on  the  other,  my  first  beginnings  in  a  religious 
course  were  as  faint  as  can  well  be  imagined.  I  never 
knew  that  season  alluded  to,  Revelation,  ii.  4,  usually 
called  the  time  of  "first  love."  And  then  he  relates  facts 
which  give  sad  evidence  of  a  very  low  state  of  grace; 
and,  if  it  had  never  risen  higher,  we  should  certainly 
have  been  inclined  to  believe  that  he  was  not  a  sub- 
ject of  saving  grace.     But  this  leads  me  to  remark  a 
fact  analogous   to  what   is  common   in  the   natural 
world;   that   the   infant   which,   when   born,   barely 
gives  evidence  of  life,  may  not  only  grow  to  maturity, 
but  in  size  and  strength*  may  far  exceed  those  who 
commenced  life  with  more  activity  and  vigoiu*;  and 
so  in  the  spiritual  life,  when  the  incipient  motions 
and  aftections  are  very  feeble,  the  person  may  even- 
tually become  a  mature  and  eminent  Christian,  as  we 
have  no  doubt  Mr.  Newton  did.     Another  instance 
of  a  similar  kind,  if  my  memory  serves  me,  was  the 
Rev.  Mr.   R.  Cecil,  who   had   also  been,  for  many 
years,  a  profane  infidel;  hut  who,  in  process  of  time, 
became  one  of  the  most  eminent  Christians,  as  well 
as  spiritual  ministers  of  his  day.     Dr.  Thomas  Scott, 
also,  was  a  Socinian,  and  yet  a  preacher  of  the  es- 
tablished Church;   but  the  progress  of  illumination 
and  conviction  in  his  mind  was  very  gradual.     His 
"  Force  of  Truth"  is  an  admirable  little  work,  and 


42  THOUGHTS    ON 

furnishes  a  full  illust ration  of  the  sentiment  which  I 
wish  to  inculcate:  Tliat  grace,  in  the  commencement, 
is  often  exceedingly  faint  and  feeble,  and  yet  may 
grow  into  a  state  of  maturity  and  comparative  per- 
fection. 

}  In  the  experience  of  President  Edwards,  as  re- 
corded by  himself,  we  find  no  account  of  any  deep 
and  distressing  convictions  of  sin  at  the  commence- 
ment of  his  religious  course;  though,  afterwards, 
perhaps  few  men  ever  attained  to  such  humbling 
views  of  the  depth  and  turpitude  of  the  depravity  of 
the  heart.  But  his  experience  differs  from  that  of  those 
mentioned  above,  in  that  his  first  views  of  divine 
things  were  clear  and  attended  with  unspeakable  de- 
light. "  The  first  instance  that  I  remember  of  that 
sort  of  inward,  secret  delight  in  God  and  divine  things, 
that  I  have  lived  much  in  since,  was,  on  reading  those 
words,  1  Tim.  i,  17,  'Now,  unto  the  King  eternal, 
immortal,  invisible,  the  only  wise  God,  be  honour  and 
glory,  for  ever  and  ever.  Amen.'  As  I  read  these 
words,  there  came  into  my  soul,  and  was  as  it  were 
diffused  through  it,  a  sense  of  the  glory  of  the  divine 
Being;  a  new  sense,  quite  different  from  any  thing  I 
ever  experienced  before.  Never  any  words  of  Scrip- 
ture seemed  to  me  as  those  words  did.  I  thought 
with  myself,  how  excellent  a  being  that  was,  and  how 
happy  I  should  be,  if  I  might  enjoy  that  God,  and  be 
rapt  up  to  him  in  heaven,  and  be  as  it  were  swallowed 
up  in  him  for  ever."  "  From  that  time  I  began  to 
have  a  new  kind  of  apprehensions  and  ideas  of  Christ, 
and  the  work  of  redemption,  and  the  glorious  way  of 
salvation  by  him.  An  inward,  sweet  sense  of  these 
things,  at  times,  came  into  my  heart;  and  my  soul 
was  led  away  in  pleasant  views  and  contemplations 
of  them.  After  this,  my  sense  of  divine  things  gra- 
dually increased,  and  became  more  and  more  lively, 
and  had  more  of  that  inward  sweetness.  The  ap- 
pearance of  every  thing  was  altered.  There  seemed 
to  be,  as  it  were,  a  calm,  sweet,  cast  or  appearance 
of  divine  glory,  in  almost  every  thing.  God's  excel- 
cency,  his  wisdom,  his  purity,  and  his  love  seemed  to 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  43 

appear  in  every  thing."  The  difference  between  this 
and  many  other  cases  of  incipient  piety,  is  very 
striking.  And  yel  these  views  and  exercises  do  not 
come  np  to  the  standard  which  some  set  up  in  regard 
to  Christian  experience,  because  they  are  so  abstract, 
and  have  such  casual  reference  to  Ciirist,  through 
whom  alone  God  is  revealed  to  man  as  an  object  of 
saving  faith.  And  if  there  be  a  fault  in  the  writings 
of  this  great  and  good  man  on  the  subject  of  experi- 
mental religion,  it  is,  that  they  seem  to  represent  re- 
newed persons  as  at  the  first,  occupied  with  the  con- 
templation of  the  attributes  of  God  with  delight, 
without  ever  thinking  of  a  Mediator.  But  few  men 
ever  attained,  as  we  think,  higher  degrees  of  holiness, 
or  had  made  more  accurate  observations  on  the  exer- 
cises of  others.  His  work  on  the  Affections  is  too 
abstract  and  tedious  for  common  readers;  but  is  an 
excellent  work,  although  I  think  his  twelve  marks 
might  with  great  advantage  be  reduced  to  half  the 
number,  on  his  own  plan.  The  experimental  exer- 
cises of  religion  are  sure  to  take  their  complexion 
from  the  theory  of  doctrine  entertained,  or  which  is 
inculcated  at  the  time. 

The  variety  which  appears  in  the  exercises  of  real 
converts  does  not  depend  alone  on  the  different  de- 
grees of  vigour,  in  the  principle  of  spiritual  life,  but  on 
many  other  circumstances;  some  of  which  will  now 
be  noticed.  The  benefit  of  sound  doctrinal  instruc- 
tion to  the  new-born  soul  has  already  been  mention- 
ed, but  demands  a  more  particular  consideration. 
What  degree  of  knowledge  is  absolutely  necessary  to 
the  existence  of  piety  cannot  be  accurately  determin- 
ed by  man,  but  we  know  that  genuine  faith  may  con- 
sist with  much  ignorance  and  error.  Suppose  two 
persons,  then,  to  have  received  the  principle  of  spirit- 
ual life  in  equal  vigour;  but  let  the  one  be  ignorant 
and  the  other  well  instructed,  it  is  easy  to  see  what 
a  difference  this  will  make  in  the  exercises  of  the  two 
converts;  and  also  in  the  account  which  they  are  able 
respectively  to  give  to  others  of  the  work  of  grace  on 
their  hearts.     It  is  here  taken  for  granted,  that  no- 


44 


THOUGHTS    ON 


thing  but  divine  truth  can  be  the  object  of  holy  affec- 
tions, or  furnish  the  motives  from  which  true  Chris- 
tians are  bound  to  act;  and  ihat  faith  in  all  its  actings 
has  respect  to  revealed  truth.  But  that  which  is  un- 
known can  neither  be  the  object  of  faith  or  love,  and 
that  which  is  known  obscurely,  and  viewed  indistinct- 
ly, can  never  operate  with  the  same  effect  as  that 
which  is  clearly  understood.  Accordingly,  our  mis- 
sionaries inform  us,  that  we  ought  not  to  expect  the 
same  consistency  or  maturity  in  the  religion  of  real 
converts  from  heathenism,  as  from  religiously  edu- 
cated persons  in  our  own  country.  It  is  a  lamentable 
fact  that  m  this  land  of  churches  and  of  Bibles,  there 
are  many  who  know  little  more  of  the  doctrines  of 
Christianity,  than  the  pagans  themselves.  The  pro- 
per inference  from  the  fact  stated  is,  that  they  are 
egregiously  in  error,  who  think  that  the  religious  edu- 
cation of  children,  is  useless,  or  even  injurious;  and 
their  opinion  is  also  condemned  who  maintain  that  it 
matters  little  what  men  believe  provided  their  lives 
are  upright.  All  good  conduct  must  proceed  from 
good  principles;  but  good  principles  cannot  exist 
without  a  knowledge  of  the  truth.  "Truth  is  in 
order  to  holiness;"  and  between  truth  and  holiness 
there  is  an  indissoluble  connexion.  It  would  be  as 
reasonable  to  expect  a  child  born  into  an  atmosphere 
corrupted  with  pestilential  vapour,  to  grow  and  be 
healthy  as  that  spiritual  life  should  flourish  without 
the  nutriment  of  the  pure  milk  of  the  word,  and 
without  breathing  in  the  wholesome  atmosphere  of 
truth.  The  new  man  often  remains  in  a  dwarfish 
state,  because  he  is  fed  upon  husks;  or,  he  grows  into 
a  distorted  shape  by  means  of  the  errors  which  are 
inculcated  upon  him.  It  is  of  unspeakable  import- 
ance that  the  young  disciple  have  sound,  instructive, 
and  practical  preaching  to  attend  on.  It  is  also  of 
consequence  that  the  religious  people,  with  whom  he 
converses,  should  be  discreet,  evangelical,  and  intelli- 
gent Christians;  and  that  the  books  put  into  his  hands 
should  be  of  the  right  kind.  There  is  what  may  be 
called  a  sectarian  peculiarity  in  the  experimental  reli- 


RELIGIOUS     EXPERIENCE.  45 

gion  of  all  the  members  of  a  religious  denomination. 
When  it  is  required,  in  order  that  persons  be  admitted 
to  communion,  tiiat  they  publicly  give  a  narrative  of 
the  exercises  of  their  minds,  there  will  commonly  be 
observed  a  striking  similarity.  There  is  a  certain 
mould  into  which  all  seem  to  be  cast.  By  the  way, 
this  requisition  is  unwise;  few  persons  have  humihty 
and  discretion  enough  to  be  trusted  to  declare  in  a  pub- 
lic congregation,  what  the  dealings  of  God  with  their 
souls  have  been.  When  ignorant,  weak,  and  fanci- 
ful persons  undertake  this,  they  often  bring  out  such 
crude  and  ludicrous  things,  as  greatly  tend  to  bring  ex- 
perimental religion  into  discredit.  The  practice  seems 
also  to  be  founded  on  a  false  principle,  namely,  that 
real  Christians  are  able  to  tell  with  certainty  whether 
others  have  religion,  if  they  hear  their  experience. 
Enthusiasts  have  always  laid  claim  to  this  discernment 
of  the  spirits,  and  this  enthusiasm  is  widely  spread 
through  some  large  sects;  and  when  they  meet  with 
any  professing  piety,  they  are  always  solicitous  to 
hear  an  account  of  their  conviction,  conversion,  &c. 
A  free  intercourse  of  this  kind  among  intimate  friends, 
is  no  doubt,  profitable;  but  a  frequent  and  indiscrimi- 
nate disclosure  of  these  secret  things  of  the  heart,  is 
attended  with  many  evils.  Among  the  chief  is,  the 
fostering  of  spiritual  pride,  which  may  often  be  de- 
tected when  the  person  is  boasting  of  his  humility. 
In  those  social  meetings,  in  which  every  person  is 
questioned  as  to  the  state  of  their  souls,  the  very 
sameness  of  most  of  the  answers  ought  to  render  the 
practice  suspicious.  Poor,  weak,  and  ignorant  per- 
sons, often  profess  to  be  happy ^  and  to  be  full  of  the 
love  of  God,  when  they  know  not  what  they  say.  It  is 
wonderful  how  little  you  hear  of  the  spiritual  conflict 
in  the  account  which  many  professors  give  of  their 
experience.  The  people  know  what  kind  of  answers 
is  expected  of  them,  and  they  come,  as  near  as  they 
can  to  what  is  wished;  and  it  is  to  be  feared  that 
many  cry  '-peace,"  when  there  is  no  peace;  and  say 
that  they  are  happy,  merely  because  they  hear  this 
from  the  lips  of  others.     Hypocrisy  is  a  fearful  evil, 

4 


46  THOUGHTS   ON 

and  every  thing  which  has  a  tendency  to  produce  it 
should  be  avoided.  Among  some  classes  of  reli- 
gious people,  all  doubting  about  the  goodness  and 
safety  of  our  state  is  scouted  as  inconsistent  with 
faith.  It  is  assumed  as  indubitably  true,  that  every 
Christian  must  be  assured  of  his  being  in  a  state  of 
grace,  and  they  have  no  charity  for  those  who  are  dis- 
tressed with  almost  perpetual  doubts  and  fears.  This 
they  consider  to  be  the  essence  of  unbelief;  for  faith, 
according  to  them,  is  a  full  persuasion  that  our  sins 
are  forgiven.  No  painful  process  of  self-examination 
is  therefore  requisite,  for  every  believer  has  posses- 
sion already  of  all  that  could  be  learned  from  such  ex- 
amination. Among  others,  doubting,  it  is  to  be  fear- 
ed, is  too  much  encouraged;  and  serious  Christians 
are  perplexed  with  needless  scruples  originating  in 
the  multiplication  of  the  marks  of  conversion,  which 
sometimes  are  difficult  of  application,  and,  in  other 
cases,  are  not  Scriptural,  but  arbitrary,  set  up  by  the 
preacher  who  values  himself  upon  his  skill  in  detect- 
ing the  close  hypocrite,  whereas  he  wounds  the  weak 
believer,  in  ten  cases,  where  he  awakens  the  hypo- 
crite in  one.  I  once  heard  one  of  these  preachers, 
whose  common  mode  was  harsh,  and  calculated  to 
distress  the  feeble  minded,  attempt  to  preach  in  a  very 
different  style.  He  seemed  to  remember  that  he 
should  not  "  bruise  the  broken  reed,"  nor  "  quench 
the  smoking  flax."  A  person  of  a  contrite  spirit 
heard  the  discourse  with  unusual  comfort,  but  at  the 
close  the  preacher  resumed  his  usual  harsh  tone,  and 
said,  "Now  you  hypocrites  will  be  snatching  at  the 
children's  bread."  On  hearing  which,  the  broken 
hearted  hearer  felt  himself  addressed,  and  instantly 
threw  away  all  the  comfort  which  he  had  received. 
And  though  there  might  be  a  hundred  hypocrites 
present,  yet  not  one  of  them  cared  any  thing  about  the 
admonition. 

In  some  places,  anxious  inquirers  are  told  that  if 
they  will  hold  on  praying  and  using  the  means,  that 
God  is  bound  to  save  them;  as  though  a  dead,  con- 
demned sinner  could  so  pray  as  to  bring  God  under 


RELIGIOUS    EXPEKIENCE.  4T 

obligation  to  him,  or  could  secure  the  blessings  of 
the  covenant  of  grace,  by  his  selfish,  legal  striving. 
These  instructions  accord  very  much  with  the  self- 
righteous  spirit  which  is  naturally  in  us  all;  and  one 
of  two  things  may  be  expected  to  ensue,  either  that 
the  anxious  inquirer  will  conclude  that  he  has  worked 
out  his  salvation,  and  cry  peace;  or  that  he  should 
sink  into  discouragement  and  charge  God  foolishly, 
because  he  does  not  hear  his  prayers,  and  grant  him 
his  desires.  There  is  another  extreme,  but  not  so 
common  among  us.  It  is,  to  tell  the  unconverted, 
however  anxious,  not  to  pray  at  all — that  their  pray- 
ers are  an  abomination  to  God,  and  can  answer  no 
good  purpose,  until  they  are  able  to  pray  in  faith. 
The  writer  happened  once  to  be  cast  into  a  congrega- 
tion where  this  doctrine  was  inculcated,  at  the  time 
of  a  considerable  revival,  when  many  sinners  were 
cut  to  the  heart  and  were  inquiring,  what  must  we 
do  to  be  saved?  He  conversed  with  some  who  ap- 
peared to  be  under  deep  and  awful  convictions;  but 
they  were  directed  to  use  no  means,  but  to  believe, 
and  they  appeared  to  remain  in  a  state  of  perfect 
quiescence,  doing  nothing,  but  confessing  the  justice 
of  their  condemnation,  and  appearing  to  feel  that  they 
were  entirely  at  the  disposal  of  Him,  who  "  has  mercy 
on  whom  he  will  have  mercy."  The  theory,  how- 
ever, was  not  consistently  carried  out,  for  while  these 
persons  were  tauglit  not  to  pray,  they  were  exhorted 
to  hear  the  gospel,-  and  were  frequently  conversed 
with  by  their  pastor.  But  this  extreme  is  not  so 
dangerous  as  the  former,  which  encourages  sinners  to 
think  that  they  can  do  something  to  recommend  them- 
selves to  God,  by  their  unbelieving  prayers.  The 
fruits  of  this  revival,  I  have  reason  to  believe,  were 
very  precious.  Even  among  the  same  people  and 
under  the  same  minister,  the  exercises  of  the  awaken- 
ed in  a  revival  are  very  different.  In  some  seasons 
of  this  sort,  the  work  appears  to  be  far  deeper  and 
more  solemn  than  in  others. 


48  THOUGHTS    ON 


CHAPTER  IV. 

Causes  of  diversity  in  experience  continued. — EiFect  of  temperament. — 
Melancholy. — Advice  to  the  friends  of  persons  thus  aflected. — Sub- 
ject continued. — Illustrative  cases. — Causes  of  melancholy  and  in- 
sanity. 

We  have  before  shown  how  the  principle  of  spirit- 
ual life  is  affected  in  its  appearance  by  two  cir- 
cumstances— the  degree  of  vigour  given  to  it  in  its 
commencement,  and  the  degree  of  knowledge  and 
maturity  of  judgment  which  one  may  possess  above 
another.  We  now  come  to  another  pregnant  cause 
of  the  great  variety  which  is  found  in  the  exercises 
and  comforts  of  real  Christians,  and  that  is  the  differ- 
ence of  tempercwient  which  is  so  familiar,  and  which 
so  frequently  modifies  the  characters,  as  well  as  the 
feelings  of  men  in  other  matters.  There  can  be  no 
doubt,  I  think,  that  the  susceptibility  of  lively  emotion 
is  exceedingly  different  in  men  under  the  same  cir- 
cumstances. Persons  of  strong  affections  and  ardent 
temperament,  upon  an  unexpected  bereavement  of  a 
beloved  wife  or  child,  are  thrown  into  an  agony  of 
grief  which  is  scarcely  tolerable;  while  those  of  a  cold, 
phlegmatic  temperament,  seem  to  suffer  no  exquisite 
anguish  from  this  or  any  other  cause.  Not  that  they 
possess  more  fortitude  or  resignation,  for  the  contrary 
may  be  the  fact;  but  their  susceptibilities  are  less 
acute.  And  this  disparity  appears  in  nothing  more 
remarkably  than  in  the  tendency  to  entertain  different 
degrees  of  hope  or  fear  in  similar  circumstances.  For, 
while  some  will  hope  whenever  there  is  the  smallest 
ground  for  a  favourable  result,  others  are  sure  to  fear 
the  worst  which  can  possibly  happen;  and  their  ap- 
prehensions are  proportioned  to  the  magnitude  of  the 
interest  at  stake.  Now  is  it  wonderful,  that  men's 
religious  feelings  should  be  affected  by  the  same 
causes?  When  two  exercised  persons  speak  of  their 
convictions,  their  sorrows  and  their  hopeS((^U  isjnot  to 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  49 

be  expected,  that  with  the  same  truths  before  their 
minds,  those  of  a  sanguine  temperament  will  expe- 
rience more  sensible  emotions,  and,  upon  the  same 
evidence,  entertain  more  confident  hopes  than  those 
of  a  contrary  disposition  ?  And,  of  necessity,  the  joy 
of  the  one  will  be  much  more  lively  than  that  of  the 
other.  Thus,  two  persons  may  be  found,  whose  ex- 
perience may  have  been  very  similar  as  to  their  con- 
viction of  sin,  and  exercise  of  faith  and  repentance; 
and  yet  the  one  will  express  a  strong  confidence  of 
having  passed  from  death  unto  life;  while  the  other  is 
afraid  to  express  a  trembling  hope.  Of  these  two 
classes  of  Christians,  the  first  is  the  most  comfortable, 
the  latter  the  safest,  as  being  unwilling  to  be  satisfied 
with  any  evidence  but  the  strongest.  But  there  is 
not  only  a  wide  difference  from  this  natural  cause  of 
the  liveliness  of  the  emotions  of  joy  and  sorrow,  and 
of  the  confidence  of  the  hopes  entertained,  but  usually 
a  very  different  mode  of  expression.  Sanguine  per- 
sons, from  the  very  impulse  of  ardent  feeling,  have  a 
tendency  to  express  things  in  strong  language  con- 
stantly verging  on  exaggeration.  They  are  apt  to  use 
superlatives  and  strong  emphasis,  as  wishing  to  con- 
vey a  full  idea  of  their  feelings,  while  those  of  a  colder 
temperament  and  more  timid  disposition,  fall  below 
the  reality,  in  their  descriptions,  and  are  cautious  not 
to  convey  to  others  too  high  an  idea  of  what  they 
have  experienced.  This  diversity,  as  the  cause  is 
permanent,  characterizes  the  religious  experience  of 
these  respective  classes  of  Christians  through  their 
whole  pilgrimage,  and  may  be  equally  manifest  on  a 
dying  bed.  Hence  it  appears  how  very  uncertain  a 
knowledge  of  the  internal  state  of  the  heart  we  obtain 
from  the  words  and  professions  of  serious  persons. 
It  should  also  serve  to  shake  the  vain  confidence  of 
those  who  imagine  that  they  can  decide  with  certainty 
whether  another  is  a  truly  converted  person,  merely 
from  hearing  a  narrative  of  his  religious  experience; 
and  that  is,  that  two  persons  may  employ  the  same 
words  and  phrases  to  express  their  feelings,  and  yet 


50 


THOUGHTS    ON 


those  feelings  may  be  specifically  different;  each  may 
say,  "  I  felt  the  love  of  God  shed  abroad  in  my  heart," 
which  in  the  one  case  may  be  the  genuine  affection 
described  in  these  words;  while  in  the  other  it  may 
be  a  mere  transport  of  natural  feelhig;  a  mere  selfish 
persuasion  of  being  a  favourite  of  heaven;  or  a  high 
state  of  nervous  exhileration,  produced  by  a  physiolo- 
gical cause.  Both  these  persons  may  be  sincere,  ac- 
cording to  the  popular  acceptation  of  that  term;  that 
is,  both  have  really  experienced  a  lively  emotion,  and 
both  mean  to  express  the  simple  fact;  and  yet  the  one 
is  a  real  Christian,  while  the  other  may  be  in  an  un- 
regenerate  state.  Another  thing  which  ought  to 
destroy  this  foolish  persuasion,  that  we  can  certainly 
determine  the  true  spiritual  condition  of  another 
person  by  hearing  from  him  a  narrative  of  his  expe- 
rience, and  that  is  that  any  words  or  phrases  which 
can  be  used  by  a  really  pious  man,  may  be  learned 
by  a  designing  hypocrite.  What  is  to  hinder  such  an 
one  from  using  the  very  language  and  imitating  the 
very  manner  in  which  true  Christians  have  been 
heard  to  relate  their  experience?  What  can  prevent 
deceivers  from  catching  up  the  narrative  of  godly 
exercises  so  abundantly  found  in  religious  biography, 
and  applying  it  to  themselves,  as  though  they  had 
experience  of  these  things?  While  only  two  classes 
of  Christians  have  been  mentioned,  yet  in  each  of 
these  there  are  many  subordinate  divisions,  to  de- 
scribe all  of  which  would  be  tedious  and  not  for  edifi- 
cation. The  reader  can  readily  apply  the  general 
principles  to  every  variety  of  experience,  modified  by 
this  cause. 

In  the  preceding  remarks,  the  healthy,  constitutional 
temperament  has  alone  been  brought  into  view;  but 
by  far  the  most  distressing  cases  of  conscience,  with 
which  the  spiritual  physician  has  to  deal,  are  owing 
to  a  morbid  temperament.  As  most  people  are  in- 
clined to  conceal  their  spiritual  distresses,  few  have 
any  conception  of  the  number  of  persons  who  are 
habitually  suffering  under  the   frightful  malady  of 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  51 

melancholy.  With  some,  this  disease  is  not  perma- 
nent, but  occasional.  They  have  only  periodical 
paroxysms  of  deep  religious  depression;  and  they 
may  be  said  to  have  their  compensation,  for  the  dark 
and  cloudy  day,  by  being  favoured  with  one  of  pe- 
culiar brightness,  in  quick  succession.  If  their  gloom 
was  uninterrupted,  it  would  be  overwhelming,  but 
after  a  dark  night,  rises  a  lovely  morning  without  the 
shadow  of  a  cloud.  This  rapid  and  great  alteration 
of  feeling  is  found  in  those  who  possess  what  may  be 
called  a  mercurial  temperament.  It  is  connected  with 
a  nervous  system  peculiarly  excitable  and  exceedingly 
liable  to  temporary  derangement.  A  rough  east  wind 
is  sufficient  to  blow  up  clouds  which  completely  ob- 
scure the  cheerful  sunshine  of  the  soul;  while  the 
wholesome  zephyrs  as  quickly  drive  all  these  gloomy 
clouds  away.  Such  persons  always  have  a  stomach 
easily  disordered,  and  one  ounce  of  improper  food,  or 
one  too  much  of  wholesome  food  is  cause  sufficient 
to  derange  the  nerves  and  depress  the  spirits.  The 
want  of  refreshing  sleep,  or  watchfulness  is  another 
cause  of  the  same  effects;  and  in  its  turn,  is  an  effect 
from  disordered  nerves.  But  physical  causes  are  not 
the  only  ones  which  produce  this  painful  state  of  feel- 
ing. It  is  often  produced,  in  a  moment,  by  hearing 
some  unpleasant  intelligence,  or  by  the  occurrence  of 
some  disagreeable  event.  But,  as  was  hinted,  when 
these  people  of  nervous  temperament  are  relieved 
from  a  fit  of  depression,  their  sky  is  uncommonly 
free  from  clouds;  their  hopes  are  lively,  their  spirits 
buoyant,  and  nothing  can  trouble  them.  These  alter- 
nations of  day  and  night,  of  sun-shine  and  darkness, 
must  of  necessity  affect  the  feelings  in  regard  to  all 
matters,  temporal  and  spiritual,  for  as  in  a  dark  night 
every  object  appears  black,  so  when  llie  mind  is  over- 
cast with  gloomy  clouds  every  view  must  partake  of 
the  same  aspect.  To  many  persons  this  description 
will  be  unintelligible;  but  by  others,  it  will  be  recog- 
nized, at  once,  as  a  just  view  of  their  own  case.  But 
when  religious  melancholy  becomes  a  fixed  disease, 
it  may  be  reckoned  among  the  heaviest  calamities  to 


52  THOUGHTS    ON 

which  our  suffering  nature  is  subject.  It  resists  all 
argument  and  rejects  every  topic  of  consolation,  from 
whatever  source  it  may  proceed.  It  feeds  upon  dis- 
tress and  despair,  and  is  displeased  even  with  the  sug- 
gestion or  offer  of  reUef,  The  mind  thus  affected 
seizes  on  those  ideas  and  truths  which  are  most  awful 
and  terrific.  Any  doctrine  which  excludes  all  hope 
is  congenial  to  the  melancholy  spirit,  and  it  seizes  on 
such  things  with  an  unnatural  avidity,  and  will  not 
let  them  go. 

There  is  no  subject  on  which  it  is  more  vain  and 
dangerous  to  theorize  than  our  religious  experience^ 
It  is  therefore  of  unspeakable  importance  that  minis- 
ters of  the  gospel,  who  have  to  deal  with  diseased 
consciences,  should  have  had  some  experience  them- 
selves in  these  matters.  This,  no  doubt,  is  one  reason 
why  some,  intended  to  be  "sons  of  consolation"  to 
others,  have  been  brought  through  deep  waters,  and 
have  been  buffeted  by  many  storms,  before  they  ob- 
tained a  settled  peace  of  mind.  It  is  a  proper  object 
of  inquiry,  why,  in  our  day,  so  little  is  heard  about 
the  spiritual  troubles,  of  which  we  read  so  much  in 
the  casuistical  treatises  of  writers  of  a  former  age.  It 
can  scarcely  be  supposed  that  the  faith  of  modern 
Christians  is  so  much  stronger  than  that  of  believers 
who  lived  in  other  days,  that  they  are  enabled  easily 
to  triumph  over  their  melancholy  fears  and  despon- 
dency. Neither  can  we  suppose  that  Satan  is  less 
busy  in  casting  his  fiery  darts,  and  in  attempts  to 
drive  the  children  of  God  to  despair.  There  is  rea- 
son to  fear,  that  among  Christians  of  the  present  time, 
there  is  less  deep,  spiritual  exercise,  than  in  former 
days;  and  as  little  is  said  on  this  subject  m  public  dis- 
courses, there  may  be  greater  concealment  of  the 
troubles  of  this  kind  than  if  these  subjects  were  more 
frequently  discussed.  It  is  observable  that  all  those 
who  have  experieiiced  this  sore  affliction  and  have 
been  mercifully  delivered  from  them,  are  very  solicit- 
ous to  administer  relief  and  comfort  to  others  who  are 
still  exposed  to  the  peltings  of  the  pitiless  storm;  and 
these  are  the  persons  who  feel  the  tenderest  sympathy 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


53 


with  afflicted  consciences,  and  know  how  to  bear  with 
the  infirmities  and  waywardness  which  accompany  a 
state  of  religious  melancholy.  It  is  also  remarkable, 
that  very  generally,  they  who  have  been  recovered 
from  such  diseases,  attribute  no  small  part  of  their 
troubles  to  a  morbid  temperament  of  body,  and  ac- 
cordingly, in  their  counsels  to  the  melancholy,  they 
lay  particular  stress  on  the  regular,  healthy  state  of 
the  body. 

About  the  close  of  the  seventeenth  century,  the 
Rev,  Tim.othy  Rogers,  a  pious  and  able  minister  of 
London,  fell  into  a  state  of  deep  melancholy;  and 
such  was  the  distressing  darkness  of  his  mind,  that  he 
gave  up  all  hope  of  the  mercy  of  God,  and  believed 
himself  to  be  a  vessel  of  wrath,  designed  for  destruc- 
tion, for  the  praise  of  the  glorious  justice  of  the  Al- 
mighty. His  sad  condition  was  known  to  many  pious 
ministers  and  people  throughout  the  country,  who,  it 
is  believed,  were  earnest  and  incessant  in  their  suppli- 
cations in  his  behalf.  And  these  intercessions  were 
not  ineffectual;  for  it  pleased  God  to  grant  a  complete 
deliverance  to  his  suffering  servant.  And  having  re- 
ceived comfort  of  the  Lord,  he  was  exceedingly  de- 
sirous to  be  instrumental  in  administering  the  same 
comfort  to  others,  with  which  he  himself  had  been 
comforted.  He  therefore  wrote  several  treatises  with 
this  object  in  view,  which  are  well  calculated  to  be  of 
service  to  those  labouring  under  spiritual  distress. 
One  of  these  is  entitled, "  Recovery  from  Sickness," 
another  "  Consolation  to  the  Afflicted,"  and  a 
third,  "  A  Discourse  on  Trouble  of  Mind,  and  the 
Disease  op  Melancholy."  In  the  "  preface"  to  this 
last,  the  author  gives  directions  to  the  friends  of  per- 
sons labouring  under  religious  melancholy,  how  to 
treat  them.  The  substance  of  these,  I  will  now  com- 
municate to  the  reader.  "  1.  Look  upon  your  dis- 
tressed friends  as  under  one  of  the  worst  distempers 
to  which  this  miserable  life  is  obnoxious.  Melan- 
choly incapacitates  them  for  thought  or  action:  it 
confounds  and  disturbs  all  their  thoughts  and  fills 
them  with  vexation  and  anguish.     I  verily  believe, 


54 


THOUGHTS    ON 


that  when  this  mahgn  humour  is  deeply  fixed  and 
has  spread  its  deleterious  influence  over  every  part, 
it  is  as  vain  to  attempt  to  resist  it,  by  reasoning  and 
rational  motives,  as  to  oppose  a  fever,  or  the  gout,  or 
pleurisy.  One  of  the  very  worst  attendants  of  this 
disease  is,  the  want  of  sleep,  by  which  in  other  dis- 
tresses men  are  relieved  and  refreshed;  but  in  this 
disease,  either  sleep  flies  far  away,  or  is  so  disturbed, 
that  the  poor  suff"erer,  instead  of  being  refreshed,  is 
like  one  on  the  rack.  The  faculties  of  the  soul  are 
weakened,  and  all  their  operations  disturbed  and 
clouded;  and  the  poor  body  languishes  and  pines 
away,  at  the  same  time.  And  that  which  renders 
this  disease  more  formidable  is,  its  long  continuance. 
It  is  a  long  time  often  before  it  comes  to  its  height; 
and  usually  as  tedious  in  its  declension.  It  is,  in 
every  respect,  sad  and  overwhelming;  a  state  of  dark- 
ness that  has  no  discernible  beams  of  light.  It  gene- 
rally begins  in  the  body,  and  then  conveys  its  venom 
to  the  mind.  I  pretend  not  to  tell  you  what  medicines 
will  cure  it,  for  I  know  of  none.  I  leave  you  to  ad- 
vise with  such  as  are  skilled  in  physic,  and  especially 
to  such  doctors  as  have  experienced  something  of  it 
themselves;  for  it  is  impossible  to  understand  the 
nature  of  it  in  any  other  way  than  by  experience. 
There  is  danger,  as  Mr.  Greenham  says,  'that  the 
bodily  physician  will  look  no  further  than  the  body, 
while  the  spiritual  physician  will  totally  disregard  the 
body,  and  look  only  at  the  mind.' 

"  2.  Treat  those  who  are  under  this  disease  with 
tender  compassion.  Remember  also,  that  you  are 
liable  to  the  same  affliction;  for  however  brisk  your 
spirits  and  lively  your  feelings  now,  you  may  meet 
with  such  reverses,  with  such  long  and  sharp  afflic- 
tions, as  will  sink  your  spirits.  Many,  not  naturally 
inclined  to  melancholy,  have,  by  overwhelming  and 
repeated  calamities,  been  sunk  into  this  dark  gulf 

"  3.  Never  use  harsh  language  to  your  friends  when 
under  the  disease  of  melancholy.  This  will  only 
serve  to  fret  and  perplex  them  the  more,  but  will 
never  benefit  them.    I  know  that  the  counsel  of  some 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  55 

is,  to  rebuke  and  chide  them,  on  all  occasions;  but  I 
dare  confidently  say,  that  such  advisers  never  felt  the 
disease  themselves;  for  if  they  had,  they  would  know 
that  thus  they  do  but  pour  oil  into  the  flames,  and 
chafe  and  exasperate  their  wounds,  instead  of  heal- 
ing them.  Mr.  Dod,  by  reason  of  his  mild,  meek, 
and  merciful  spirit,  was  reckoned  one  of  the  fittest 
persons  to  deal  with  those  thus  afflicted.  Never  was 
any  person  more  tender  and  compassionate  as  all  will 
be  convinced,  who  will  read  the  accounts  of  Mr.  Pea- 
cock and  Mrs.  Drake,  both  of  whom  were  greatly 
relieved  by  his  conversation. 

"4.  If  you  would  possess  any  influence  over  your 
friends  in  this  unhappy  state  of  mind,  you  must  be 
careful  not  to  express  any  want  of  confidence  in  what 
they  relate  of  their  own  feelings  and  distresses.  On 
this  point,  there  is  often  a  great  mistake.  When  they 
speak  of  their  frightful  and  distressing  apprehensions, 
it  is  common  for  friends  to  reply,  '  that  this  is  all 
imaginary'  —  'nothing  but  fancy,'  'an  unfounded 
whim.'  Now  the  disease  is  a  real  one,  and  their 
misery  is  as  real  as  any  experienced  by  man.  It  is 
true,  their  imagination  is  disordered,  but  this  is  mere- 
ly the  effect  of  a  deeper  disease.  These  afflicted  per- 
sons never  can  believe  that  you  have  any  real  sym- 
pathy with  their  misery,  or  feel  any  compassion  for 
them,  unless  you  believe  what  they  say. 

"5.  Do  not  urge  your  melancholy  friends  to  do  what 
is  out  of  their  power.  They  are  like  persons  whose 
bones  are  broken,  and  who  are  incapacitated  for  ac- 
tion. Their  disease  is  accompanied  with  perplexing 
and  tormenting  thoughts;  if  you  can  innocently 
divert  them,  you  would  do  them  a  great  kindness; 
but  do  not  urge  them  to  any  thing  which  requires 
close  and  intense  thinking;  this  will  only  increase 
the  disease.  But  you  will  ask,  ought  we  not  to  urge 
them  to  hear  the  word  of  God?  I  answer,  if  they  are 
so  far  gone  in  the  disease  as  to  be  in  continual,  unre- 
mitting anguish,  they  are  not  capable  of  hearing,  on 
account  of  the  painful  disorder  of  their  minds.  But 
if  their  disorder  is  not  come  to  such  a  distressing 


56  THOUGHTS    ON 

height,  you  may  kindly  and  gently  persuade  them  to 
attend  on  the  preaching  of  the  word;  but  beware  of 
using  a  peremptory  and  violent  method.  The  method 
pursued  by  Mr.  Dod,  whh  Mrs.  Drake,  should  be 
imitated.  'The  burden  which  overloaded  her  soul 
was  so  great,  that  we  never  durst  add  any  thereunto, 
but  fed  her  with  all  encouragements,  she  being  too 
apt  to  overcharge  herself,  and  to  despair  upon  any 
addition  of  fuel  to  that  fire  which  was  inwardly  con- 
suming her.  And  so,  wherever  she  went  to  hear, 
notice  was  given  to  the  minister  officiating,  that  he 
had  such  a  hearer,  and  by  this  means  she  received  no 
discouragement  from  hearing.' 

"6.  Do  not  attribute  the  effects  of  mere  disease  to 
the  devil;  although  I  do  not  deny  that  he  has  an  agen- 
cy in  producing  some  diseases;  especially,  by  harass- 
ing and  disturbing  the  mind  to  such  a  degree,  that 
the  body  suffers  with  it.  But  it  is  very  unwise  to  as- 
cribe every  feeling  and  every  word  of  tlie  melancholy 
man  to  Satan;  whereas,  many  of  these  are  as  natu- 
ral consequences  of  bodily  disease,  as  the  symptoms 
of  a  fever,  which  the  poor  sufferer  can  no  more  avoid, 
than  the  sick  man  can  keep  himself  from  sighing  and 
groaning.  Many  will  say  to  such  an  one,  'Why  do 
you  so  pore  over  your  case  and  thus  gratify  the 
devil?'  whereas,  it  is  the  very  nature  of  the  disease 
to  cause  such  fixed  musings.  You  might  as  well  say 
to  a  man  in  a  fever,  'Why  are  you  not  well,  why  will 
you  be  sick?'  Some,  indeed,  suppose,  that  the  mel- 
ancholy hug  their  disease,  and  are  unwilling  to  give 
it  up,  but  you  might  as  well  suppose  that  a  man 
would  be  pleased  with  lying  on  a  bed  of  thorns,  or  in 
a  fiery  furnace.  No  doubt  the  devil  knows  how  to 
work  on  minds  thus  diseased,  and  that  by  shooting 
his  fiery  darts,  he  endeavours  to  drive  them  to  utter 
despair.  But  if  you  persuade  them  that  all  which 
they  experience  is  from  the  devil,  you  may  induce  the 
opinion  in  them,  that  they  are  actually  possessed  of 
the  evil  one;  which  has  been  the  unhappy  condition 
of  some  whose  minds  were  disordered.  I  would  not 
have  you  to  bring  a  railing  accusation,  even  against 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  57 

the  devil,  neither  must  you  falsely  accuse  your  friends 
by  saying  that  they  gratify  him. 

"7.  Do  not  express  much  surprise  or  wonder  at  any 
thing  which  melancholy  persons  say  or  do.  What 
will  not  they  say,  wlioare  in  despair  of  God's  mercy  ? 
What  will  not  they  do,  who  think  themselves  lost, 
forever?  You  know  that  even  such  a  man  as  Job 
cursed  his  day,  so  that  the  Lord  charged  him  *  with 
darkening  counsel  by  words  without  knowledge.' 
Do  not  v/onder  that  they  give  expression  to  bitter 
complaints;  the  tongue  will  always  be  speaking  of  the 
aching  tooth.  Their  soul  is  sore  vexed,  and  although 
they  get  no  good  by  complaining;  yet  they  cannot  but 
complain,  to  find  themselves  in  such  a  doleful  case. 
And  they  can  say  with  David,  'I  am  weary  with  my 
groaning:  all  the  night  make  I  my  bed  to  swim,! 
water  my  couch  with  my  tears;'  yet  they  cannot  for- 
bear to  groan  and  weep  more,  until  their  very  eyes 
be  consumed  with  grief.  Let  no  sharp  words  of 
theirs  provoke  you  to  talk  sharply  to  them.  Sick  peo- 
ple are  apt  to  be  peevish,  and  it  would  be  a  great 
weakness  in  you,  not  to  bear  with  them,  when  you 
see  that  a  long  and  sore  disease  has  deprived  them  of 
their  former  good  temper. 

"  8.  Do  not  tell  them  any  frightful  stories,  nor  re- 
count to  them  the  sad  disasters  which  have  overtaken 
others.  Their  hearts  do  already  meditate  terror,  and 
by  every  alarming  thing  of  which  they  hear,  they  are 
the  more  terrified,  and  their  disordered  imagination  is 
prepared  to  seize  upon  every  frightful  image  which 
is  presented.  The  hearing  of  sad  things  always 
causes  them  more  violent  agitations.  Yet  yon  must 
avoid  merriment  and  levity  in  their  presence,  for  this 
would  lead  them  to  think  that  you  have  no  sympa- 
thy with  them,  nor  concern  for  them.  A  mixture  of 
gravity  and  aff'ableness  will  best  suit  them;  and,  if  I 
might  advise,  I  would  counsel  parents  not  to  put  their 
children,  who  are  naturally  inclined  to  melancholy, 
to  learning,  or  to  any  employment,  which  requires 
much  study;  lest  they  should  at  length  be  preyed 
upon,  by  their  own  thoughts. 


58  THOUGHTS    ON 

"  9.  Do  not,  however,  think  it  needless  to  talk  with 
them.  But  do  not  speak  as  if  you  thought  their  dis- 
ease would  be  of  long  continuance;  for  this  is  the 
prospect  which  appears  most  gloomy  to  the  melan- 
choly. Rather  encourage  them  to  hope  for  speedy 
deliverance.  Endeavour  to  revive  their  spirits  by 
declaring,  that  God  can  give  them  relief  in  a  mo- 
ment, and  that  he  has  often  done  so  with  others;  that 
he  can  quickly  heal  their  disease,  and  cause  his  amia- 
ble and  reconciled  face  to  shine  upon  them. 

10.  It  will  be  useful  to  tell  them  of  others,  who 
have  been  in  the  same  state  of  suffering,  and  yet  have 
been  delivered.  It  is,  indeed,  true,  that  they  who  are 
depressed  by  such  a  load  of  grief,  are  with  difficulty 
persuaded,  that  any  were  ever  in  such  a  condition  as 
they  are.  They  think  themselves  to  be  more  wicked 
than  Cain  or  Judas,  and  view  their  own  cases  to  be 
entirely  singular.  It  will,  therefore,  be  important  to 
relate  real  cases  of  deliverance  from  similar  distress 
and  darkness.  Several  such  cases  have  been  known 
to  me,  as  that  of  Mr.  Rosewell,  and  also  Mr.  Porter, 
both  ministers  of  the  gospel.  The  latter  was  six 
years  under  the  pressure  of  melancholy;  yet  both 
these  experienced  complete  deliverance,  and  after- 
wards rejoiced  in  the  light  of  God's  countenance.  I 
myself,  was  near  two  years  in  great  pain  of  body, 
and  greater  pain  of  soul,  and  without  any  prospect 
of  peace  or  help;  and  yet  God  hath  recovered  me  by 
his  sovereign  grace  and  mercy.  Mr.  Robert  Bruce, 
minister  in  Edinburgh,  was  twenty  years  in  terrors  of 
conscience,  and  yet  delivered  afterwards.  And  so,  of 
many  others,  who  after  a  dark  and  stormy  night, 
were  blessed  with  the  cheerful  light  of  returning  day. 
Mr.  Fox,  in  his  book  of  Martys,  gives  an  account  of 
a  certain  Mr.  Glover,  who  was  worn  and  consumed 
with  inward  trouble,  for  five  years,  so  that  he  had  no 
comfort  in  his  food,  nor  in  his  sleep,  nor  in  any  enjoy- 
ment of  life.  He  was  so  perplexed,  as  if  he  had  been 
in  the  deepest  pit  of  hell,  and  yet  this  good  servant 
of  God,  after  all  these  horrid  temptations  and  buffet- 
ings  of  Satan,  was  delivered  from  all  his  trouble,  and 


KELI6I0US    EXPERIKNCE.  59 

the  effect  was  such  a  degree  of  mortification  of  sin, 
that  he  appeared  as  one  already  in  heaven. 

"11.  The  next  thing  which  yon  are  to  do  for  your 
melancholy  friends,  is  to  pray  for  them.  As  they  have 
not  liglit  and  composure  to  pray  for  themselves,  let 
your  eyes  weep  for  them  in  secret,  and  there  let  your 
souls  melt  in  fervent  holy  prayers.  You  know  that 
none  but  God  alone  can  help  them.  Mr.  Peacock 
said  to  Mr.  Dod,  and  his  other  friends,  'Take  not  the 
name  of  God  in  vain,  by  praying  for  such  a  repro- 
bate.' Mr.  Dod  replied,  '  If  God  stir  up  your  friends 
to  pray  for  you,  he  will  stir  up  himself  to  hear  their 
prayers.'  You  ought  to  consider  that  nothing  but 
prayer  can  do  them  good.  It  is  an  obstinate  disease 
that  nothing  else  will  overcome.  Those  who  can 
cure  themselves  by  resorting  to  wine  and  company, 
were  never  under  this  disease. 

"12.  Not  only  pray  for  them  yourself,  but  engage 
other  Christian  friends,  also,  to  pray  for  them.  When 
many  good  people  join  their  requests  together,  their 
cry  is  more  acceptable  and  prevalent.  When  the 
church  united  in  prayer  for  Peter,  in  chains,  he  was 
soon  delivered,  and  in  the  very  time  of  their  prayers. 
All  believers  have,  through  Christ,  a  great  interest  in 
heaven,  and  the  Father  is  willing  to  grant  what  they 
unitedly  and  importunately  ask,  in  the  name  of  his 
dear  Son.  I  myself  have  been  greatly  helped  by  the 
prayers  of  others,  and  I  heartily  thank  all  those  espe- 
cially, who  set  apart  particular  days  to  remember 
at  a  throne  of  grace,  my  distressed  condition.  Bless- 
ed be  God  that  he  did  not  turn  away  his  mercy  from 
me,  nor  turn  a  deaf  ear  to  their  supplications! 

"  13.  Put  your  poor,  afflicted  friends,  in  mind,  con- 
tinually, of  the  sovereign  grace  of  God,  in  Jesus 
Christ.  Often  impress  on  their  minds,  that  He  is 
merciful  and  gracious;  that  as  far  as  the  heavens  are 
above  the  earth,  so  far  are  his  thoughts  above  their 
thoughts;  his  thoughts  of  mercy  above  their  self-con- 
demning, guilty  thoughts.  Teach  them  as  much  as 
you  can,  to  look  unto  God,  by  the  great  Mediator,  for 
grace  and  strength,  and  not  too  much  to  pore  over 


60 


THOUGHTS    ON 


their  own  sonls,  where  there  is  so  much  darkness  and 
unbelief.  And  turn  away  their  thoughts  from  the 
decrees  of  God.  Show  them  what  great  sinners  God 
has  pardoned,  and  encourage  them  to  beUeve  and 
to  hope  for  mercy.  When  Mrs.  Drake  was  in  her 
deplorable  state  of  darkness,  she  would  send  a  descrip- 
tion of  her  case  to  distinguished  ministers,  concealing 
her  name,  to  know  whether  such  a  creature,  without 
faith,  hope,  or  love  to  God  or  man — hard-hearted, 
without  natural  affection,  who  had  resisted  and 
abused  all  means,  could  have  any  hope  of  going  to 
heaven  ?  Their  answer  was,  that  such  like,  and  much 
worse,  might,  by  the  mercy  of  God,  be  received  into 
favour,  converted  and  saved;  which  did  much  allay 
her  trouble.  '  For,'  said  she,  '  the  fountain  of  all 
my  misery  hath  been,  that  I  sought  that  in  the  law, 
which  I  should  have  found  in  the  gospel;  and  for  that 
in  myself,  which  was  only  to  be  found  in  Christ.' 
'From  my  own  experience,  I  can  testify,'  says  Rog- 
ers, '  that  the  mild  and  gentle  way  of  dealing  with 
such  is  the  best.'  " 

A  volume  might  be  written  on  the  subject  of  reli- 
gious melancholy, and  such  a  volume  is  much  needed; 
but  it  would  be  difficult  to  find  a  person  qualified  for 
the  undertaking.  We  have  some  books  written  by 
pious  casuists;  and  the  subject  is  handled  in  medical 
treatises  on  insanity;  but,  to  do  it  justice,  physiolo- 
gical knowledge  must  be  combined  with  an  accurate 
acquaintance  with  the  experience  of  Christians.  Bur- 
ton's "Anatomy  of  Melancholy,"  is  one  of  the 
strangest  books  I  ever  read.  For  curious  learning 
and  classical  quotations,  it  cannot  be  surpassed.  And 
there  is  much  originality  of  remark,  and  frequent 
strokes  of  wit  in  the  work,  but  very  little  valuable 
information  on  the  subject  of  which  it  treats.  The 
author  seems  to  have  been  himself  troubled  with  fits 
of  melancholy,  and,  enjoying  much  learned  leisure, 
amused  his  melancholy  hours  by  searching  after  and 
heaping  up  much  learning,  out  of  the  common  track. 
The  spiritual  physician,  who  has  the  cure  of  diseased 
souls,  takes  much  less  pains  to  inquire  minutely  and 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  61 

exactly  into  the  maladies  of  ?ns  patients,  than  is  ob- 
servable in  physicians  of  the  body.  I  have  often 
admired  the  alacrity  and  perseverance  with  which 
medical  students  attend  upon  anatomical  and  physio- 
logical lectures;  although  often,  the  exhibitions  are 
extremely  repulsive  to  oiu*  natural  feelings.  The 
patience  and  ingenuity,  with  which  the  men  of  this 
profession  make  experiments  are  highly  worthy  of  im- 
itation. Many  of  our  young  preachers,  when  they  go 
forth  on  their  important  errand,  are  poorly  qualified  to 
direct  the  doubting  conscience,  or  to  administer  safe 
consolation  to  those  troubled  in  spirit.  And  in  modern 
preaching,  there  is  little  account  made  of  the  various 
distressing  cases  of  deep  affliction  under  which  many 
serious  persons  are  suffering.  If  we  want  counsel 
on  subjects  of  this  kind,  we  mnst  go  back  to  the  old 
writers;  but  as  there  is  now  small  demand  for  such 
works,  they  are  fast  sinking  into  oblivion ;  and  their 
place  is  not  likely  to  be  supplied  by  any  works  which 
the  prolific  press  now  pours  forth.  It  is,  however,  a 
pleasing  circumstance,  that  the  writings  of  so  many 
of  our  old  Eiiglisli  divines  have  recently  been  reprint- 
ed in  London.  Eat  still  many  valuable  treatises  are 
destined  to  oblivion.  The  only  object  which  I  have 
in  view,  in  introducing  this  subject,  is  to  inquire, 
what  connexion  there  is  between  real  experimental 
religion  and  melancholy.  And  I  must,  in  the  first 
place,  endeavour  to  remove  a  prevalent  prejudice, 
that  in  all  religious  persons  there  is  a  strong  tendency 
to  melancholy.  Indeed,  there  are  not  a  few  who 
confound  these  two  things  so  completely,  that  they 
have  no  other  idea  of  becoming  religious,  than  sink- 
ing into  a  state  of  perpetual  gloom.  Such  persons 
as  these  are  so  far  removed  from  all  just  views  of  the 
nature  of  religion,  that  I  shall  not  attempt,  at  pres- 
ent, to  correct  their  errors.  There  are  others,  who 
entertain  the  opinion,  that  deep  religious  impressions 
tend  to  produce  that  state  of  mind  called  melancholy; 
and  not  only  so,  but  they  suppose  that  in  many  cases, 
insanity  is  the  consequence  of  highly  raised  religious 
affections.     The  fact  cannot  be  denied,  that  religion 

5 


62  -  THOUGHTS     ON 

is  often  the  subject  which  dwells  on  the  minds  of 
both  the  melancholy  and  the  insane.  But,  I  am  of 
opinion,  that  we  are  here  in  danger  of  reversing  the 
order  of  nature,  and  putting  the  effect  in  the  place  of 
the  cause.  Religion  does  not  produce  melancholy, 
but  melancholy  turns  the  thoughts  to  religion.  Per- 
sons of  a  melancholy  temperament  seize  on  such 
ideas  as  are  most  awful,  and  which  furnish  the  great- 
est opportunity  of  indulging  in  despondency  and  des- 
pair. Sometimes,  however,  it  is  not  religion  which 
occupies  the  minds  and  thoughts  of  the  melancholy, 
but  their  own  health,  which  they  imagine,  without 
reason,  to  be  declining;  or  their  estates,  which  they 
apprehend  to  be  wasting  away,  and  abject  poverty 
and  beggary  stare  them  in  the  face.  Not  unfrequent- 
ly  this  disease  alienates  the  mind  entirely  from  reli- 
gion, and  the  unhappy  victim  of  it  refuses  to  attend 
upon  any  religious  duties,  or  to  be  present  where 
they  are  performed.  Frequently  it  assumes  the  form 
of  mo7iomania,  or  a  fixed  misapprehension  in  regard 
to  some  one  thing.  The  celebrated  and  excellent 
William  Cowper  laboured,  for  years,  under  one  of 
the  most  absurd  hallucinations,  respecting  a  single 
point;  and  in  that  point,  his  belief — though  invinci- 
ble— was  repugnant  to  the  whole  of  his  religious 
creed.  He  imagined,  that  he  had  received  from  the 
Almighty  a  command,  at  a  certain  time,  when  in  a  fit 
of  insanity,  to  kill  iiimself;  and  as  a  punishment  for 
disobedience,  he  had  forfeited  a  seat  in  paradise.  And 
so  deep  was  this  impression,  that  he  would  attend  on 
no  religious  worship,  public  or  private;  and  yet  at 
this  very  time  took  a  lively  interest  in  the  advance- 
ment of  Christ's  kingdom;  and  his  judgment  was  so 
sound  on  other  matters,  that  such  men,  as  John  New- 
ton and  Thomas  Scott,  were  in  the  habit  of  consult- 
ing with  him  on  all  difficult  points.  The  case  of  this 
man  of  piety  and  genius,  was  used  by  the  enemies  of 
religion,  and  particularly  by  the  enemies  of  Calvin- 
ism, as  an  argument  against  the  creed  which  he  had 
embraced;  whereas  his  disease  was  at  the  worst,  be- 
fore he  had  experienced  any  thing  of  religion,  or  had 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE,  63 

embraced  the  tenets  of  Calvin.  And,  let  it  be  remem- 
bered, that  it  was  by  turning  his  attention  to  the  con- 
solations of  religion,  that  his  excellent  physician  was 
successful  in  restoring  his  mind  to  tranquilHty  and 
comfort;  and  the  world  will  one  day  learn,  that  of 
all  the  remedies  for  this  malady,  the  pure  doctrines  of 
grace  are  the  most  effectual  to  resuscitate  the  melan- 
choly mind.  This  is,  in  fact,  a  bodily  disease,  by 
which  the  mind  is  influenced  and  darkened.  Thus 
it  was  received  by  the  ancient  Greeks;  for  the  term  is 
compounded  of  two  Greek  words  which  signify  black 
bile.  How  near  they  were  to  the  trnth,  in  assigning 
the  physical  cause  which  produces  the  disease,  I  leave 
to  others  to  determine.  Casuists  have  often  erred 
egregiously,  by  referring  all  such  cases  to  mental  or 
moral  causes.  It  is  probable,  even  when  the  disease 
is  brought  on  by  strong  impressions  on  the  mind,  that, 
by  these  physical  derangement  occurs.  To  reason 
with  a  man  against  the  views  which  arise  from  mel- 
ancholy, is  commonly  as  inefficacious,  as  reasoning 
against  bodily  pain!  I  have  long  made  this  a  crite- 
rion, to  ascertain  whether  the  dejection  experienced 
was  owing  to  a  physical  cause;  'for,  in  that  case, 
argument  though  demonstrative,  has  no  effect.  Still 
such  persons  should  be  aftectionately  conversed  with; 
and  their  peculiar  opinions  and  views  should  rarely 
he  contradicted.  Cases  often  occur,  in  which  there  is 
a  mixture  of  moral  and  physical  causes;  and  these 
should  be  treated  in  reference  to  both  sources  of  their 
'affliction.  Melancholy  is  sometimes  hereditary,  and 
often  constitutional.  When  such  persons  are  relieved 
for  a  while,  they  are  apt  to  relapse  into  the  same 
state,  as  did  William  Co vvper.  The  late  excellent  and 
venerable  James  Hall,  D.  D.  of  N.  C,  was  of  a  mel- 
ancholy temperament;  and,  after  finishing  his  educa- 
tion at  Princeton,  he  fell  into  a  gloomy  dejection, 
which  interrupted  his  studies  and  labours  for  more 
than  a  year.  After  his  restoration,  he  laboured  suc- 
cessfully and  comfortably  in  the  ministry  for  many 
years,  even  to  old  age;  but  at  last  was  overtaken 
again,  and  entirely  overwhelmed  by  this  terrible  mal- 


64  THOUGHTS   ON 

ady.  Of  all  men,  that  I  ever  saw,  he  had  the  tender- 
est  sympathy  with  persons  labouring  imder  religious 
despondency.  When  on  a  journey,  I  have  known 
him  to  travel  miles  out  of  his  way  to  converse  with 
a  sufferer  of  this  kind;  and  his  manner  was  most 
tender  and  affectionate  in  speaking  to  such. 

I  have  remarked,  that  persons  who  gave  no  symp- 
toms of  this  disease  until  the  decline  of  life,  have  then 
fallen  under  its  power;  owing  to  some  change  in  the 
constitution  at  that  period,  or  some  change  in  their 
active  pursuits.  I  recollect  two  cases  of  overwhelm- 
ing melancholy  in  persons,  who  appeared  in  their  for- 
mer life,  as  remote  from  it  as  any  that  I  ever  knew. 
The  first  was  a  man  of  extraordinary  talents,  and  elo- 
quence; bold  and  decisive  in  his  temper,  and  fond  of 
company  and  good  cheer.  When  about  fifty-five  or 
six  years  of  age,  without  any  external  cause  to  pro- 
duce the  effect,  his  spirits  began  to  sink,  and  feelings 
of  melancholy  to  seize  upon  him.  He  avoided  com- 
pany, but  I  had  frequent  occasion  to  see  him,  and 
sometimes  he  could  be  engaged  in  conversation,  when 
he  would  speak  as  judiciously  as  before;  but  he  soon 
reverted  to  his  dark  melancholy  mood.  On  one  oc- 
casion he  mentioned  his  case  to  me,  and  observed 
with  emphasis,  that  he  had  no  power  whatever  to 
resist  the  disease,  and  said  he,  with  despair  in  his 
countenance,  "  I  shall  soon  be  utterly  overwhelmed." 
And  so  it  turned  out,  for  the  disease  advanced  until 
it  ended  in  the  worst  form  of  mania^  and  soon  termi- 
nated his  life.  The  other  was  the  case  of  a  gentle- 
man who  had  held  office  in  the  American  army,  in  the 
revolutionary  war.  About  the  same  age,  or  a  little 
later,  he  lost  his  cheerfulness,  which  had  never  been 
interrupted  before,  and  by  degrees,  sunk  into  a  most 
deplorable  state  of  melancholy,  which  as  in  the  for- 
mer case,  soon  ended  in  death.  In  this  case,  the  first 
thing  which  1  noticed,  was,  a  morbid  sensibility  of 
the  moral  sense,  which  filled  him  with  remorse,  for 
acts,  which  had  little  or  no  moral  turpitude  attached 
to  them. 

I  would  state  then,  as  the  result  of  all  my  observa- 


KELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


65 


tion,  that  religion,  in  its  regular  and  rational  exercise, 
has  no  tendency  to  melancholy,  or  insanity,  but  the 
contrary;  and  that,  religion  is  the  most  effectual  re- 
medy for  this  disease,  whatever  be  its  cause.  But 
melancholy  persons  are  very  apt  to  seize  on  the  dark 
side  of  religion,  as  affording  food  for  the  morbid  state 
of  their  minds.  True  Christians,  as  being  subject  to 
like  diseases  with  others,  may  become  melancholy;  but 
not  in  consequence  of  their  piety:  but  in  this  melan- 
choly condition,  they  are  in  a  more  comfortable,  as 
well  as  in  a  safer  state,  than  others;  they  may  relin- 
quish all  their  hopes •  but  they  cannot  divest  them- 
selves of  their  pious  feelings. 

I  have  said  nothing  respecting  the  supposed  ten- 
dency of  strong  religious  feelings  to  produce  insanity, 
for  what  has  been  said  respecting  melancholy  is  equally 
applicable  to  this  subject.  Indeed,  I  am  of  opinion, 
that  melancholy  is  a  species  of  insanity;  and  in  its 
worst  form,  the  most  appalling  species;  for,  in  most 
cases,  insane  persons  seem  to  have  many  enjoyments, 
arising  out  of  their  strange  misconceptioTis,  but  the 
victim  of  melancholy  is  miserable;  he  is  often  suffer- 
ing under  the  most  horrible  of  all  calamities,  black 
despair.  When  a  child,  I  used  to  tremble  when  I 
I  read  Bunyan's  account,  in  his  Pilgrim,  of  the  man 
shut  up  in  the  iron  cage.  And  in  the  year  1791, 
when  I  first  visited  the  Pennsylvania  Hospital,  I  saw 
a  man  there  who  had  arrived  a  few  days  before,  said 
to  be  in  a  religious  melancholy,  and  to  be  in  despair. 
He  had  made  frequent  attempts  on  his  own  life,  and 
all  instruments,  by  which  he  might  accomplish  that 
direful  purpose,  were  carefully  removed.  Having 
never  been  accustomed  to  see  insane  persons,  the 
spectacle  of  so  many,  deprived  of  reason,  made  an 
awful  impression  on  my  mind,  but  although  some 
were  raving  and  blaspheming,  in  their  cells,  and 
others  confined  in  strait-jackets,  the  sight  of  no  one  so 
affected  me,  as  that  of  this  man  in  despair.  Although 
near  half  a  century  has  elapsed  since  I  beheld  his  sor- 
rowful countenance,  there  is  still  a  vivid  picture  of  it 
in  my  imagination.     We   spoke  to  him,  but  he  re- 


66 


THOUGHTS    ON 


turned  no  answer;  except  that  he  once  raised  his  des- 
pairing eyes;  but  immediately  cast  them  down  again. 
Whether  this  man  had  been  the  subject  of  any  re- 
ligious impressions,  I  did  not  learn.  But  this  one 
thing,  I  must  t&stify,  that  I  never  knew  the  most  pun- 
gent convictions  of  sin  to  terminate  in  insanity;  and 
as  to  the  affections  of  love  to  God,  and  the  hvely  iiope 
of  everlasting  life  producing  insanity,  it  is  too  absurd 
for  any  one  to  beheve  it.  I  do  not  dispute,  however, 
that  enthusiasm  may  have  a  tendency  to  insanity; 
and  some  people  are  so  ignorant  of  the  nature  of  true 
religion  as  to  confound  it  with  enthusiasm.  I  will  go 
further  and  declare,  that,  after  much  thought  on  the 
subject  of  enthusiam,  I  am  unable  to  account  for 
the  effects  produced  by  it,  in  any  other  way,  than  by 
supposing  that  it  is  a  case  of  real  insanity.  Diseases 
of  this  class  are  the  more  dangerous,  because  they  are 
manifestly  contagious.  The  very  looks  and  tones  of 
an  enthusiast  are  felt  to  be  powerful  by  every  one; 
and  when  the  nervous  system  of  any  one  is  in  a  state 
easily  susceptible  of  emotions  from  such  a  cause, 
the  dominion  of  reason  is  overthrown,  and  wild  ima- 
gination and  irregular  emotion  govern  the  infatuated 
person,  who  readily  embraces  all  the  extravagant 
opinions,  and  receives  all  the  disturbing  impressions 
which  belong  to  the  party  infected.  Without  a  sup- 
position such  as  the  foregoing,  how  can  you  account 
for  the  fact,  that  an  educated  man  and  popular 
preacher,  and  a  wife,  intelligent  and  judicious  above 
most,  having  a  family  of  beloved  children,  should 
separate  from  each  other;  relinquish  all  the  comforts 
of  domestic  life,  and  a  pleasant  and  promising  con- 
gregation, to  connect  themselves  with  a  people  who 
are  the  extreme  of  all  enthusiasts — the  Shakers.?  But 
such  facts  have  been  witnessed  in  our  own  times,  and 
in  no  small  numbers.  In  a  town  in  New  Hampshire, 
the  writer,  when  in  the  neighbourhood,  was  told  of 
the  case  of  a  young  preacher,  who  visited  the  Shaker 
settlement,  out  of  curiosity,  to  see  them  dance,  in 
which  exercise  their  principal  worship  consists:  but, 
while  he  stood  and  looked  on,  he  was  seized  with  the 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  67 

same  spirit,  and  began  to  shake  and  dance  too;  and 
never  returned,  but  remained  in  the  society.  But, 
there  being  no  demand  for  his  learning  or  preaching 
talents,  whatever  they  might  be — and  he  being  an 
able  bodied  man,  they  employed  him  in  building 
stone  fences.  This  species  of  infatuation,  which  is 
called  enthusiasm,  is  apt  to  degenerate  into  bitterness 
and  malignity  of  spirit,  towards  all  who  do  not  em- 
brace it,  and  then  it  is  termed  fanaticism.  This  spe- 
cies of  insanity,  as  I  must  be  permitted  to  call  it,  dif- 
fers from  other  kinds  in  that  it  is  social,  or  affects 
large  numbers  in  the  same  way,  and  binds  them  to- 
gether by  the  link  of  close  fraternity.  It  agrees  with 
other  kinds  of  monomania,  in  that  the  aberration  of 
mind  relates  to  one  subject,  while  the  judgment  may 
be  sound  in  other  matters.  No  people  know  how  to 
manage  their  agricultural,  horticultural,  and  mechani- 
cal business  more  skilfully,  and  successfully  than  the 
Shakers.  And  the  newer  sect  of  Mormonites,  would 
soon  settle  down  to  peaceable  industry,  if  the  people 
would  let  them  alone.  This  country  promises  to  be 
the  theatre  of  all  conceivable  forms  of  enthusiasm  and 
fanaticism;  and  as  long  as  these  misguided  people 
pursue  their  own  course,  without  disturbing  other 
people,  they  should  be  left  to  their  own  delusions,  as 
it  relates  to  the  civil  power;  but  if  any  of  them 
should  be  impelled  by  their  fanatical  spirit,  to  disturb 
the  peace,  they  should  be  treated  like  other  maniacs. 
The  causes  of  melancholy  and  insanity,  whether 
physical  or  moral,  cannot  easily  be  explored.  The 
physician  will  speak  confidently  about  a  lesion  of  the 
brain,  but  when  insane  persons  have  been  subjected 
to  a  post-mortem  examination,  the  brain  very  seldom 
exhibits  any  appearance  of  derangement.  The  casu- 
ist, on  the  other  hand,  thinks  only  of  moral  causes, 
and  attributes  the  disease  to  such  of  this  class  as  are 
known  to  have  existed,  or  flees  to  hypothesis,  which 
will  account  for  every  thing.  There  is  a  remarkable 
coincidence,  however,  which  has  fallen  under  my  ob- 
servation, between  those  who  assign  a  moral  and 
those  who  assign  a  physical  cause  for  melancholy 


68  THOUGHTS    ON 

and  madness,  in  regard  to  one  point.  Some  forty  or 
fifty  years  ago,  tiie  writer,  about  the  same  time,  read 
Siiepard's  "Sincere  Convert,"  and  Robe  on  "Reli- 
gious Melancholy,"  and  he  noticed,  that  they  both 
ascribe  the  deep  and  fixed  depression  of  spirits,  fre- 
quently met  with,  to  a  secret,  criminal  indulgence. 
Well,  in  the  statistics  of  several  insane  asylums  and 
penitentiaries  which  have  been  published  recently, 
the  most  of  the  cases  of  insanity  are  confidently  as- 
cribed to  the  same  thing,  as  its  physical  cause.  This 
increasing  evil  is  of  such  a  nature  that  we  cannot  be 
more  explicit.  Those  who  ought  to  know  the  facts, 
will  understand  the  reference.  It  must,  after  all,  be 
admitted  that  the  claims  of  intemperance,  in  the  use 
of  intoxicating  drinks,  to  a  deleterious  influence  on 
the  reason,  stand  in  the  foremost  rank;  but  the  mad- 
ness produced  by  this  cause  is  commonly  of  short  du- 
ration. I  do  not  speak  of  that  loss  of  reason  which 
is  the  immediate  effect  of  alcohol  on  the  brain;  but  of 
that  most  tremendous  form  of  madness  called  deliri- 
um tremens.  I  have  said  that  it  was  short,  because 
it  is  commonly  the  last  struggle  of  the  human  consti- 
tution, under  the  influence  of  a  dreadful  poison,  which 
has  now  consummated  its  work — and  death  soon 
steps  in  and  puts  an  end  to  the  conflict. 

After  spending  so  much  time  in  speaking  of  melan- 
choly as  a  disease,  I  anticipate  the  thoughts  of  some 
good  people,  who  will  be  ready  to  say,  what,  is  there 
no  such  thing  as  spiritual  desertion — times  of  dark- 
ness and  temptation,  which  are  independent  of  the 
bodily  temperament?  To  which  I  answer,  that  I 
fully  believe  there  are  many  such  cases;  but  they  de- 
serve a  separate  consideration,  and  do  not  fall  within 
the  compass  of  my  present  design.  The  causes,  symp- 
toms, and  cure  of  such  spiritual  maladies  are  faith- 
fully delineated  by  many  practical  writers;  and  al- 
though these  cases  are  entirely  distinct  from  melan- 
choly, they  assume,  in  many  respects,  similar  symp- 
toms, and,  by  the  unskilful  casuist,  are  confounded 
with  it.  These  two  causes,  as  I  have  before  intima- 
ted, may  often  operate  together,  and  produce  a  mixed 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  f)9 

and  very  perplexed  case,  both  for  the   bodily  and 
spiritual  physician. 

After  all  that  has  been  said,  the  fact,  with  which  we 
commenced,  is  that  religious  exercises  are  very  much 
modified  by  the  temperament;  and  in  some  cases,  by 
the  idiosyncrasy  of  the  individual.  The  liquor  put 
into  an  old  cask,  commonly  receives  a  strong  tincture 
from  the  vessel.  Old  habits,  although  a  new  govern- 
ing principle  is  introduced  into  the  system,  do  not 
yield  at  once;  and  propensities,  apparently  extin- 
guished, are  apt  to  revive,  and  give  unexpected  trou- 
ble. It  is  a  comfortable  thought,  that  those  bodies 
cannot  go  with  the  saints  to  heaven,  until  they  are 
completely  purified.  What  proportion  of  our  present 
feelings  will  be  dropped  with  the  body,  we  cannot 
tell.  How  a  disembodied  spirit  will  perceive,  feel, 
and  act,  we  shall  soon  know  by  consciousness;  but, 
if  ever  so  many  of  the  departed  should  return  and  at- 
tempt to  communicate  to  us  their  present  mode  of 
existence,  it  would  be  all  in  vain ;  the  things,  which 
relate  to  such  a  state,  are  inconceivable,  and  unspeak- 
able. What  Paul  saw  in  the  third  heaven  he  dare 
not,  or  he  could  not  communicate;  but  he  did  not 
know  whether  he  saw  these  wonderful  things  in  the 
body  or  out  of  the  body.  This  was  a  thing  known, 
as  he  intimates,  only  to  God. 


CHAPTER  V. 

Effect  of  sympathy  illustrated. — Cautions  in  relation  to  this  subject — 
A  singular  case  in  illustration. 

The  causes,  already  considered,  which  modify  reli- 
gious experience,  relate  to  Christians  as  individuals: 
but  man  is  constitutionally  a  social  being;  and  reli- 
gion is  a  social  thing;  so  that  we  cannot  have  a  com- 
plete view  of  this  subject,  without  considering  them 
as  they  stand  connected  with  others;  and,  especially, 
as  they  are  influenced  by  one  another.  There  is  a 
mysterious  bond,  called  sympathy,  by  which  not  only 


7Q 


THOUGHTS    ON 


human  beings,  but  some  species  of  animals  are  con- 
nected. It  is  much  easier,  on  this  subject,  to  state 
facts  than  to  account  for  them.  A  man  cannot  go 
into  any  company  without  being  sensible  of  some 
change  in  his  feelings.  Whatever  passion  agitates 
those  around  him,  he  involuntarily  participates  in  the 
emotion;  and  the  mere  external  expression  of  any 
feeling,  often  produces  the  same  expression  in  himself, 
whether  it  be  yawning,  smiling,  crying,  or  coughing, 
and  this  must  be  effected  by  an  assimilation  of  the 
mind  of  the  beholder,  to  tiie  slate  of  mind  which 
produced  the  external  act.  The  wilder  and  stronger 
the  passions  which  agitate  others,  the  more  are  we 
affected  by  them.  This  operation  of  mutual  sympa- 
thetic excitement,  when  many  persons  are  brought 
together  under  some  agitating  influence,  produces  a 
streamof  emotion  which  cannot  easily  be  resisted;  and 
far  above  what  any  one  of  the  crowd  would  have  felt,  if 
the  same  cause  had  operated  on  him  alone.  Hence  the 
ungovernable  fury  of  mobs,  carrying  desolation,  and 
often  murder  in  their  train;  and  yet  the  ring-leaders, 
had  they  been  alone,  would  have  experienced  no  such 
violence  of  passion;  and  hence  the  danger,  in  large 
cities,  of  permitting  multitudes  of  undisciplined  peo- 
ple to  assemble  promiscuously.  A  mob  is  an  artifi- 
cial body,  pervaded  by  one  spirit;  by  the  power  of 
sympatliy;  for  which  the  French  have  an  appropriate 
phrase,  esprit  du  corps.  If  there  be  any  thing  in 
animal  magnetism,  which  has  of  late  made  so  much 
noise,  beside  sheer  imposture,  it  must  be  grafted  on 
this  principle;  for  the  extent  to  which  human  beings 
may  influence  each  other,  by  contact  or  proximity,  in 
certain  excitable  states  of  the  nervous  system,  has 
never  been  accurately  ascertained.  In  those  remark- 
able bodily  afiections,  called  ihe  jerks,  which  appear- 
ed in  religious  meetings  some  years  ago,  the  nervous 
irregularity  was  conmionly  produced  by  the  sight  of 
other  persons  thus  affected;  and  if,  in  some  instances, 
without  the  sight,  yet  by  having  the  imagination 
strongly  impressed  by  hearing  of  such  things.  It 
is  a  fact,  as  undoubted  as  it  is  remarkable,  that,  as  this 


EEtlGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


71 


bodily  affection  assumed  a  great  variety  of  appear- 
ances, in  different  places,  nothing  was  more  common, 
than  for  a  new  species  of  the  exercise,  as  it  was  called, 
to  be  imported  from  another  part  of  the  country,  by 
one  or  a  few  individuals.  This  contagion  of  nervous 
excitement  is  not  unparalleled;  for  whole  schools  of 
young  ladies  have  been  seized  with  spasmodic  or  epi- 
leptic fits,  in  consequence  of  a  single  scholar  being 
taken  with  the  disease.  There  are  many  authentic 
facts  ascertained  in  relation  to  this  matter,  which  I 
hope  some  person  will  collect  and  give  to  the  public, 
through  the  press.  It  will  not  be  thought  strange 
then,  that  sympathy  should  have  a  powerful  influence 
in  increasing  and  modifying  the  feelings  wliich  are 
experienced  m  religious  meeth)gs;  nor  is  it  desirable 
that  it  should  be  otherwise.  This  principle,  no  doubt, 
is  liable  to  abuse,  and  when  unduly  excited,  may  be 
attended  with  disagreeable  and  injurious  effects,  but 
without  it,  how  dull  and  uninteresting  would  social 
worship  be?  When  a  whole  assembly,  in  listening 
to  the  same  evangelical  discourse,  or  praising  God  in 
the  same  divine  song,  or  sitting  together  around  the 
same  sacramental  table,  are  deeply  affected,  they  form, 
as  it  were,  one  body,  and  the  whole  mass  is  melted 
down  and  amalgamated  into  one  grand  emotion. 
They  seem  to  have  but  one  heart  and  one  soul;  and 
as  harmoniously  as  their  voices  mingle  in  the  sacred 
song  of  praise  to  the  Redeemer,  do  their  feelings  amal- 
gamate in  one  ascending  volume, to  wards  heaven.  The 
preacher,  who  is  privileged  to  address  such  an  assem- 
bly, seems  to  have  before  him  one  great  body,  having 
many  eyes,  but  one  soul.  Heiice  we  see  the  reason, 
why  a  company  thinly  scattered  over  a  large  house, 
always  appears  cold  and  uncomfortable;  while  the 
same  persons  brought  near  together,  in  a  small  house, 
have  an  entirely  different  appearance ;  and  also  we 
see  why  social  meetings  in  private  houses,  are  felt  by 
sincere  Christians  to  be  more  profitable,  often,  than 
the  more  solemn  assemblies  of  the  church.  And, 
upon  the  same  principle,  all  worshippers  feel  more 
animated  when  surrounded  by  a  multitude.     But,  it 


72 


THOUGHTS    ON 


is  in  times  of  revival,  or  general  awakening,  that  the 
power  of  this  principle  manifests  itself  most  evidently; 
and  it  is  no  evidence  of  a  spurious  work,  that  the 
sympathies  of  the  people  are  much  awakened,  or  that 
many  are  led  to  seriousness  by  seeing  others  affected. 
God  often  blesses  this  instinctive  feeling  in  this  very 
way.  But,  is  it  not  to  be  expected  that,  at  such  a 
time,  many  will  be  affected  by  mere  sympathy?  And 
will  not  such  as  are  thus  affected,  be  in  great  danger 
of  being  deceived,  by  taking  these  tender  emotions 
of  sympathy  to  be  the  exercises  of  true  repentance, 
especially,  as  they  fall  in  with  those  convictions  of 
conscience,  which  all  who  hear  the  gospel  experience? 
Is  it  then  judicious,  by  impassioned  discourses,  ad- 
dressed to  the  sympathies  of  our  nature,  to  raise  this 
class  of  feelings  to  a  flame?  or  to  devise  measures^ 
by  which  the  passions  of  the  young  and  ignorant  may 
be  excited  to  excess?  That  measures  may  be  put 
into  operation,  whicli  have  a  mighty  influence  on  a 
whole  assembly,  is  readily  admitted;  but  are  excite- 
ments thus  produced  really  useful  ?  They  may  bring 
young  people,  who  are  diffident,  to  a  decision,  and  as 
it  were,  constrain  them  to  range  themselves  on  the 
Lord's  side,  but  the  question  which  sticks  with  me,  is, 
does  this  really  benefit  the  persons?  In  my  judgment, 
not  at  all,  but  the  contrary.  If  they  have  the  seed  of 
grace,  though  it  may  come  forth  slowly,  yet  this  prin- 
ciple will  find  its  way  to  the  light  and  air,  and  the 
very  slowness  of  its  coming  forward,  may  give  it  op- 
portunity to  strike  its  roots  deep  in  the  earth.  If  I 
were  to  place  myself  on  what  is  called  an  anxious 
seat,  or  should  kneel  down  before  a  whole  congrega- 
tion to  be  prayed  for,  I  know  that  I  should  be  strangely 
agitated,  but  I  do  not  believe  that  it  would  be  of  any 
permanent  utility.  But  if  it  should  produce  some 
good  effect,  am  I  at  liberty  to  resort  to  any  thing  in 
the  worship  of  God  which  I  think  will  be  useful.^  If 
such  things  are  lawful  and  useful,  why  not  add  other 
circumstances  to  increase  the  effect  ?  Why  not  require 
the  penitent  to  appear  in  a  white  sheet,  or  to  be  clothed 
in  sackcloth,  with  ashes  on  his  head?  and  these,  re- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  73 

member,  are  Scriptural  signs  of  humiliation?  And 
on  these  principles,  who  can  reasonably  object  to  holy 
water,  to  incense,  and  the  use  of  pictures  or  images  in 
the  worship  of  God.  All  these  things  come  into  the 
church  upon  this  same  principle,  of  devising  new  mea- 
sures to  do  good  ;  and  if  the  anxious  seat  is  so  pow- 
erful a  means  of  grace,  it  may  soon  come  to  be  reck- 
oned among  the  sacraments  of  the  church.  The  lan- 
guage of  experience  is,  that  it  is  unsafe  and  unwise  to 
bring  persons,  who  are  imder  religious  impressions, 
too  much  into  public  view.  The  seed  of  the  word, 
like  the  natural  seed,  does  not  vegetate  well  in  the 
sun.  Be  not  too  impatient  to  force  into  maturity  the 
plant  of  grace.  Water  it,  cultivate  it,  but  handle  it 
not  with  a  rough  hand.  The  opinion,  entertained  by 
some  good  people,  that  all  religion  obtained  in  a  revi- 
val is  suspicious,  has  no  just  foundation.  At  such 
times,  when  the  Spirit  of  God  is  really  poured  out, 
the  views  and  exercises  of  converts  are  commonly 
more  clear  and  satisfactory,  than  at  other  times,  and 
the  process  of  conversion  more  speedy.  But  doubt- 
less, there  may  be  expected  a  considerable  crop  of 
spurious  conversions,  and  these  may  make  the  great- 
est show;  for  the  seed,  on  the  stony  grounds,  seems  to 
have  vegetated  the  quickest  of  any.  And  this  is  the 
reason  that,  after  all  revivals,  there  is  a  sad  declension 
in  the  favourable  appearances;  because  that  vi^hich 
has  no  root  must  soon  wither.  In  looking  back,  after 
a  revival  season,  I  have  thought,  how  would  matters 
have  been  if  none  had  come  forward,  but  such  as  per- 
severe and  bring  forth  fruit.  Perhaps  things  would 
have  gone  on  so  quietly,  that  the  good  work  would 
not  have  been  called  a  revival.  But  ministers  cannot 
prevent  the  impressions  which  arise  merely  from 
sympathy — neither  should  they  attempt  it;  but,  when 
they  are  about  to  gather  the  wheat  into  the  garner, 
they  should  faithfully  winnow  the  heap;  not  that 
they  can  discern  the  spirits  of  men,  but  the  word  of 
God  is  a  discerner  of  the  thoughts  and  intents  of  the 
heart.  The  church  is  no  place  of  safety  for  the  un- 
converted.    Hundreds  and   thousands   are   shielded 


74  THOUGHTS    ON 

from  salutary  convictions,  by  their  profession  and 
situation  in  the  church.  Let  ministers  be  "  wise  as 
serpents,"  as  well  as  "  harmless  as  doves."  "  Be  not 
many  masters,  (StSaaxaTiot)  knowing  that  ye  shall  re- 
ceive the  greater  condemnation."  "They  watch  for 
souls  as  they  that  must  give  account," — awful  ac- 


count 


From  what  has  been  said  about  the  power  of 
sympathy,  some  may  be  ready  to  conclude,  that  all 
experimental  religion,  and  all  revivals  may  be  ac- 
counted for,  on  this  principle,  without  the  necessity 
of  supposing  any  supernatural  agency  to  exist;  and 
if  no  effects  were  produced  but  those  excitements 
which  often  mingle  with  religious  exercises,  this 
would  be  no  irrational  conclusion.  But  under  the 
preaching  of  the  gospel  we  find  a  permanent  change 
of  moral  character  taking  place:  so  great  a  change, 
that,  even  in  the  view  of  the  world  who  observe  it, 
the  subject  appears  to  be  "  a  new  man."  An  entire 
revolution  has  taken  place  in  his  principles  of  action 
as  well  as  in  his  sentiments  respecting  divine  things. 
Now  those  who  would  ascribe  all  experimental  re- 
ligion to  mere  natural  feelings,  artificially  excited, 
must  believe  that  there  are  no  such  transformations 
of  character  as  have  been  mentioned;  and  that  all 
who  profess  such  a  change  are  false  pretenders.  But 
this  ground  is  manifestly  untenable;  for  no  facts  are 
more  certain  than  such  reformations;  and  if  there  be 
men  of  truth  and  sincerity  in  the  world,  they  are  to 
be  found  among  those  who  have  undergone  this 
moral  transformation.  Surely  there  are  no  pheno- 
mena now  taking  place  in  our  world  half  so  impor- 
tant and  worthy  of  consideration,  as  the  repentance 
of  an  habitual  sinner;  so  that  he  utterly  forsakes  his 
wicked  courses,  and  takes  dehght  in  the  worship  of 
God  and  obedience  to  his  will.  Let  it  be  remem- 
bered, that  these  are  effects  observed  only  where  the 
gospel  is  preached,  and  in  some  instances,  numerous 
examples  of  such  conversions  from  sin  to  holiness 
occur  about  the  same  time,  and  in  the  same  place. 
No  series  of  miracles  could  give  stronger  evidence  of 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


75 


the  divine  origin  and  power  of  the  gospel,  than  the 
actual  and  permanent  reformation  of  wicked  men; 
and  the  skeptic  may  be  challenged  to  account  for 
such  effects  on  any  natural  principles.  But  it  may 
still  be  asked  how  the  person  who  is  the  subject  of 
these  new  views  and  exercises,  can  know  that  they 
are  the  effects  of  a  supernatural  agency?  It  is  readily 
admitted  that  we  cannot  be  conscious  of  the  agency 
of  another  spirit  on  ours,  because  our  consciousness 
extends  only  to  our  own  thoughts, .and  often  when 
new  feelings  arise  in  our  minds  we  are  unable  to 
trace  them  to  their  proper  cause.  In  this  case,  if  we 
had  no  revelation  from  God,  we  might  not  be  able 
with  certainty  to  account  for  such  effects;  but  in  the 
word  of  God  we  are  distinctly  and  repeatedly  in- 
formed, that  God  by  his  Spirit  will  continue  to  ope- 
rate on  the  minds  of  men,  to  turn  them  from  iniquity, 
and  to  cause  them  to  engage  with  delight  in  his 
service;  and  when  we  find  these  very  effects  taking 
place,  in  connexion  with  the  means  appointed  to  pro- 
duce them,  we  can  have  no  doubt  about  their  divine 
origin;  and  our  faith  is  confirmed  in  this  doctrine 
of  divine  agency  by  observing  the  wonderful  change 
produced  by  the  preaching  of  the  gospel  upon  the 
most  depraved  and  degraded  of  the  heathen.  The 
transformation  of  character,  in  thousands  of  instances 
now  existing,  is  enough  to  produce  conviction  in  any 
mind,  not  rendered  obdurate  by  the  prejudices  of  infi- 
delity. It  may  be  objected,  that,  in  many  instances, 
the  change  professed  is  not  permanent,  but  temporary, 
and  they  who  appear  saints  to  day,  may  be  found 
wallowing  in  the  mire  of  iniquity,  to  morrow.  These 
are  facts  which  we  cannot  gainsay;  but  we  do  deny 
that  they  go  to  invalidate  the  argument  from  the  ex- 
amples of  a  permanent  and  thorough  change  which 
do  really  take  place.  If  there  were  only  one  real, 
sound  conversion,  and  reformation,  in  a  hundred  of 
those  who  may  be  religiously  impressed,  still,  the 
conclusion  in  favour  of  a  divine  influence,  would  be 
valid.  In  the  spring  we  behold  the  trees  clothed  and 
adorned  with  millions  of  blossoms,  which  never  pro- 


76 


THOUGHTS     ON 


duce  mature  fruit;  but  when  in  autumn,  we  find  here 
and  there,  apples,  large,  sweet,  and  mellow,  do  we 
hesitate  to  believe  that  this  is  a  good  tree  which  pro- 
duces good  fruit?  For  reasons  already  given,  it 
ought  not  to  be  expected  that  all  serious  impressions 
should  eventuate  in  a  sound  conversion.  External 
appearances  may  be  the  same  to  our  view,  where 
the  causes  are  entirely  diverse.  This  is  especially  to 
be  expected  when  a  great  many  are  affected  at  once, 
and  meet  in  the  same  assembly.  And  if  these  tran- 
sient appearances  did  not  take  place  under  the  preach- 
ing of  the  gospel,  our  Saviour's  doctrine  of  the  various 
effects  of  the  word  would  not  be  verified.  Ministers 
of  the  gospel  cannot  be  blamed  for  these  temporary 
impressions;  unless  they  use  unauthorized  means  to 
work  upon  the  sympathies  of  their  hearers.  That, 
through  ignorance,  vanity  and  enthusiastic  ardour, 
many  preachers  in  our  day,  have  attempted  to  pro- 
duce such  excitements,  cannot  be  denied,  and  by  the 
true  friends  of  vital  piety,  is  greatly  lamented.  Per- 
haps nothing  has  so  much  prejudiced  the  minds  of 
sensible  men  against  experimental  religion,  as  the  ex- 
travagance and  violence  of  those  factitious  excite- 
ments which  have  been  promoted,  in  various  places, 
by  measures  artfully  contrived  to  work  upon  the  pas- 
sions and  imagination  of  weak  and  ignorant  people. 
And  as  the  preacher  must  have  his  reward  of  glory 
for  his  efforts,  all  this  must  be  so  brought  out,  that 
their  number  may  be  counted  and  published  to  the 
world.  Alas!  alas!  poor  human  nature!  1  believe 
that  all  respectable  denominations,  among  us,  are  be- 
coming more  and  more  sensible,  that  something  more 
is  requisite  in  the  rninistry  than  fiery  zeal.  Some 
who,  within  our  remembrance,  disparaged  a  learned 
ministry,  are  now  using  noble  exertions  to  erect  semi- 
naries, and  encourage  their  young  preachers  to  seek 
to  be  learned.  This  is  a  matter  of  rejoicing,  and 
augurs  well  for  the  American  Church  hereafter.  I 
should  be  unwilling  to  bring  before  the  public  all  the 
scenes  that  I  have  witnessed  under  the  name  of  re- 
ligious worship.     But  as  the  subject  of  sympathy  is 


HELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  77 

Still  under  consideration,  I  will  relieve  the  reader  by 
a  short  narrative.  Being  in  a  part  of  the  country 
where  I  was  known,  by  face,  to  scarcely  any  one,  and 
hearing  iliat  there  was  a  great  meeting  in  the  neigh- 
bourhood, and  a  good  work  in  progress,  I  determined 
to  attend.  Tlie  sermon  had  commenced  before  I 
arrived,  and  the  house  was  so  crowded  that  I  could 
not  approach  near  to  the  pulpit,  but  sat  down  in  a 
kind  of  shed  connected  with  the  main  building  where 
I  could  see  and  hear  the  preacher.  His  sermon  was 
really  striking  and  impressive,  and  in  language  and 
method,  far  above  the  common  run  of  extempore  dis- 
courses. The  people  were  generally  attentive,  and, 
so  far  as  I  could  observe,  many  were  tenderly  affected, 
except  that  in  tlie  extreme  part  of  the  house,  where  I 
sat,  some  old  tobacco-planters  kept  up  a  continual 
conversation  in  a  low  tone,  about  tobacco-plants, 
seasons,  &c.  When  the  preacher  came  to  the  appli- 
cation of  his  discourse  he  became  exceedingly  vehe- 
ment and  boisterous,  and  1  could  hear  some  soimds  in 
the  centre  of  ilie  house  which  indicated  strong  emo- 
tion. At  length,  a  female  voice  was  heard,  in  a 
piercing  cry,  which  thrilled  through  me  and  affected 
the  wliole  audience.  It  was  succeeded  by  a  low 
murmuring  sound  from  the  middle  of  the  house;  but, 
in  a  {'iy^  seconds,  one  and  another  arose  in  different 
parts  of  the  house,  under  extreme  and  visible  agita- 
tion, casting  off  bonnets  and  caps,  and  raising  their 
folded  hands,  they  shouted  to  the  utmost  extent  of 
their  voice;  and  in  a  {q^^  seconds  more,  the  whole 
audience  was  agitated,  as  a  forest  when  shaken  by  a 
mighty  wind.  The  sympathetic  wave,  commencing 
in  the  centre,  extended  to  the  extremities;  and  at 
length  it  reached  our  corner,  and  I  felt  the  conscious 
effort  of  resistance  as  necessary  as  if  I  had  been  ex- 
posed to  the  violence  of  a  storm.  I  saw  few  persons 
through  the  whole  house  who  escaped  the  prevailing 
influence;  even  careless  boys  seemed  to  be  arrested 
and  to  join  in  the  general  outcry.  But,  what  aston- 
ished me  most  of  all  was,  that  the  old  tobacco-planters, 
whom  I  have  mentioned,  and  who,  I  am  persuaded, 

6 


78 


THOUGHTS    ON 


had  not  heard  one  word  of  the  sermon,  were  violently 
agitated.     Every  muscle  of  their  brawny  faces  ap- 
peared to  be  in  tremulous  motion,  and  the  big  tears 
chased   one   another   down    their    wrinkled    cheeks. 
Here  I   saw   the  power  of  sympathy.     The  feeling 
was  real,  and  propagated  from  person  to  person  by 
the  mere  sounds  which  were  uttered;  for  many  of  the 
audience  had  not  paid  any  attention  to  what  was  said; 
but  nearly  all  partook  of  the  agitation.     The  feelings 
expressed  were  different,  as  when  the  foundation  of 
the  sacred  temple  was  laid;  for  while   some  uttered 
the  cry  of  poignant  anguish,  others  shouted  in  the 
accents  of  joy  and  triumph.     The    speaker's  voice 
was  soon  silenced,  and  he  sat  down  and  gazed  on  the 
scene  with  a  complacent  smile.     When  this  tumult 
had  lasted  a  few  minutes,  another  preacher,  as  I  sup- 
pose he  was,  who  sat  on  the  pulpit  steps,  with  his 
handkerchief  spread  over  his  head,  began  to  sing  a 
soothing  and  yet  lively  tune,  and  was  quickly  joined 
by  some  strong  female  voices  near  him;  and  in  less 
than  two  minutes  the  storm  was  hushed,  and  there 
was  a  great  calm.     It  was  like  pouring  oil  on  the 
troubled  waters.     I  experienced  the  most  sensible  re- 
lief to  my  own  feelings  from  the  appropriate  music; 
for  I  could  not  hear  the  words  sung.     But  I  could  not 
have  supposed  that  anything  could  so  quickly  allay 
such  a  storm;  and  all  seemed  to  enjoy  the  tranquil- 
lity which  succeeded.     The  dishevelled  hair  was  put 
in  order,  and  the  bonnets,  &c.   gathered  up,  and  the 
irregularities  of  the  dress  adjusted,  and  no  one  seemed 
conscious  of  any  impropriety.     Indeed,  there  is  a  pe- 
culiar luxury  in  such  excitements,  especially  when 
tears  are  shed  copiously,  which  was  the  case  here. 
But   I  attended    another   meeting   in  another  place 
where  there  had  been  a  remarkable  excitement,  but 
the  tide  was  far  on  the  ebb;  and  although  we  had 
vociferation  and  outcrymg  of  a  stunning  kind,  I  did 
not  hear  one  sound  indicative  of  real  feeling,  and  I 
do   not   think   that  one  tear    was   shed   during  the 
meetine. 


KELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  79 


CHAPTER  VI. 

Erroneous  views  of  regeneration. — Tlio  correct  view. — The  operation 
of"  faith. — Exercises  of  mind,  as  ilkistrated  in  President  Edwards' 
narrative. — The  operations  of  faitli  still  further  explained. 

It  is  proper  now  to  inquire,  what  are  the  precise 
effects  of  regeneration,  or  the  exercises  of  a  newly 
converted  soul.  .  As  the  restoration  of  depraved  man 
to  the  image  of  God,  lost  by  the  fall,  is  the  grand  ob- 
ject aimed  at  in  the  whole  economy  of  salvation,  it 
can  easily  be  said,  in  the  general,  that  by  this  change 
a  principle  of  holiness  is  implanted,  spiritual  life  is 
communicated,  the  mind  is  enlightened,  the  will  re- 
newed, and  the  affections  purified  and  elevated  to 
heavenly  objects.  Such  general  descriptions  do  not 
afford  full  satisfaction  to  the  inquiring  mind;  and 
as  we  have  taken  into  view  many  of  those  cu'cum- 
stances  which  diversify  the  exercises  of  grace,  in  dif- 
ferent subjects,  let  us  now  endeavour  to  ascertain,  with 
as  nuich  precision  as  we  can,  what  are  those  things 
which  are  essential  to  the  genuineness  of  this  work, 
and  which,  therefore,  will  be  found  in  every  sincere 
Christian.  But  in  this  attempt,  great  difficulty  must 
be  met  in  conveying  our  ideas  with  precision.  Even 
those  terms  which  are  most  used  in  the  Holy  Scrip- 
tures, to  designate  the  essential  exercises  of  piety 
are  differently  understood,  and  when  used,  convey 
different  ideas  to  different  persons.  I  will  endeavour, 
however,  to  avoid  this  difficulty, as  much  as  possible, 
by  defining  the  terms  which  I  employ.  I  have  all 
along  admitted,  that  the  mode  of  the  Spirit's  opera- 
tion, in  regeneration,  is  altogether  inscrutable:  and  an 
attempt  to  explain  it,  is  worse  than  folly.  We  may, 
however,  without  intruding  into  things  unseen,  or  at- 
tempting to  dive  into  the  unsearchable  nature  of  the 
divine  operations,  say,  that  God  operates  on  the  hu- 
man mind,  in  a  way  perfectly  consistent  with  its  na- 
ture, as  a  spirit,  and  a  creature  of  understanding  and 
will.     On  this  principle  some  suppose,  that  there  can 


80  THOTJGHTS    ON 

be  no  other  method  of  influencing  a  rational  mind  but 
by  the  exhibition  of  truth,  or  tlie  presentment  of  mo- 
tives: any  physical  operation,  they  allege,  would 
be  unsuitable.  Their  theory  of  regeneration,  there- 
fore, is,  that  it  is  produced  by  the  moral  operation  of 
the  truth,  contemplated  by  the  understanding  and  in- 
fluencing the  affections  and  the  will,  according  to  the 
known  principles  of  our  rational  nature.  Bui  re- 
specting what  is  necessary  to  bring  the  truth  fairly 
before  the  mind,  the  abettors  of  this  theory,  divide 
into  several  parts.  The  Pelagian,  believing  human 
nature  to  be  uncontaminated,  and  needing  nothing 
but  a  correct  knowledge  of  the  truth,  rejects  all  super- 
natural aid,  and  maintains,  that  every  man  has  full 
ability  to  perform  all  good  actions;  and  to  reform 
what  is  amiss  by  simply  attending  to  the  instructions 
of  the  word,  and  exercising  his  own  free  will,  by 
which  he  is  able  to  choose  and  pursue  what  course 
he  pleases.  The  semi-Pelagian  agrees  with  the  views 
given,  except  in  one  particular.  He  believes  that  the 
truth,  if  seriously  contemplated,  will  produce  the  ef- 
fects stated,  but  that  mankind  are  so  immersed  in  the 
world  of  sensible  objects,  and  so  occupied  and  filled 
with  earthly  thoughts  and  cares,  that  no  man  will,  or 
ever  does  contemplate  the  truth  so  impartially  and 
steadily,  as  to  produce  a  change  in  his  affections  and 
purposes,  until  he  is  influenced  by  the  Holy  Spirit; 
and,  according  to  him,  the  only  need  of  divine 
agency,  in  regeneration,  is  to  direct  and  fix  the  atten- 
tion on  divine  things.  This  being  done,  the  truth,  as 
contained  in  the  divine  word,  and  as  apprehended  by 
the  natural  understanding,  is  adequate  to  produce  all 
the  desired  effects  on  the  active  principles  of  our  na- 
ture. There  is  still  a  third  party,  who  attribute  regen- 
eration to  the  simple  operation  of  the  truth  on  the 
mind,  whose  views  are  neither  Pelagian  nor  semi-Pe- 
lagian. They  hold,  that  the  natural  man  cannot  dis- 
cern the  things  of  the  Spirit  of  God,  and  that  if  a  man 
should  ever  so  long  contemplate  the  truth  with  such 
views  as  natural  reason  takes  of  it,  it  would  never 
transform  him  into  the  divine  likeness:  but  that,  by 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  81 

the  illumination  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  the  sinner  must 
obtain  new,  spiritual  views  of  divine  things,  by  which 
he  is  renovated  or  regenerated:  yet,  these  deny  that 
any  operation  on  the  mind  itself  is  necessary,  as  they 
allege  that  these  spiritual  views  of  truth  will  cer- 
tainly draw  after  them  the  exercise  of  those  affections, 
in  which  holiness  essentially  consists.  Now,  in  my 
judgment,  this  theory  is  defective,  only  in  one  point, 
and  that  is,  it  supposes  the  mind,  which  is  already  in 
possession  of  doctrinal  knowledge  of  the  truth,  to 
have  this  same  trutli  presented  to  it  in  an  entirely  new 
hght,  without  any  operation  on  the  soul  itself.  Just 
as  if  a  man  was  blind,  but  standing  in  the  clear 
shining  of  the  sun's  rays.  These  he  feels,  and  can 
talk  philosophically  about  the  sensation  of  light  and 
colours;  while  he  has  not  in  his  mind  the  first  simple 
perception  of  any  object  of  sight.  Could  this  man  be 
made  to  perceive  the  visible  objects  around  him, 
without  an  operation  on  the  eyes  to  remove  the  ob- 
struction, or  to  rectify  the  organ?  The  case  of  the 
soul  is  entirely  analogous.  Here  is  light  enough,  the 
truth  is  viewed  by  the  intellect  of  unregenerate  man, 
but  has  no  transforming  efficacy.  The  fault  is  not  in 
the  truth,  which  is  perfect,  but  the  blindness  is  in  the 
mind,  which  can  only  be  removed  by  an  influence  on 
the  soul  itself;  that  is,  by  the  power  of  God  creating 
"a  new  heart"  to  use  the  language  of  Scripture. 
The  apostle  Paul  was  sent  to  the  Gentiles  "  to  open 
their  eyes,  and  to  turn  them  from  darkness  to  light." 
Two  things  are  always  necessary  to  distinct  vision; 
the  medium  of  light,  and  a  sound  organ;  either  of 
these  without  the  other,  would  be  useless;  but  com- 
bined, the  beauties  of  nature,  and  the  glory  of  God  in 
the  visible  world,  are  seen  with  delight.  It  is  so  in 
the  spiritual  world.  The  truth  is  necessary;  but  until 
the  mind  is  brought  into  a  state  in  which  it  can  per- 
ceive it  in  its  beauty  and  glory,  it  is  heard,  and  read, 
and  contemplated,  without  any  transforming  effect — 
without  drawing  the  affections  to  God,  or  subduing 
the  power  of  selfish  and  sensual  desires.  The  fault 
being  in  the  percipient  being,  there  must  be  such  an 
exertion  of  divine  power  as  will  remove  it,  and  this 


82 


THOUGHTS    ON 


is  regeneration.  Then,  all  the  effects  of  the  truth  will 
take  place,  as  according  to  the  former  theory.  But 
I  seem  to  hear  the  common  objection,  that  if  the 
soul  be  the  subject  of  any  operation,  this  must  be 
physical,  and  what  is  this  but  to  make  man  a  mere 
machine,  or  to  deal  with  him  as  if  he  were  a  block? 
I  believe  that  a  more  ambiguous,  unhappy  word 
could  not  be  used  than  physical;  the  best  way  to  get 
clear  of  the  mists  which  surround  it,  is  to  drop  its  use 
altogether  in  this  connexion.  Indeed,  it  is  a  term 
which  properly  belongs  to  another  science — to  natu- 
ral philosophy.  If  the  operation  must  have  a  name, 
let  it  receive  it  from  the  nature  of  the  effect  produced; 
this  being  spiritual,  let  it  be  called  a  spiritual  opera- 
tion; or,  as  the  effect  produced,  is  confessedly  above 
the  powers  of  unassisted  nature,  let  us  call  it  super- 
natural, which  is  the  precise  technical  term,  used  by 
the  most  accurate  theologians.  Can  the  Almighty, 
who  made  the  soul,  operate  upon  it  in  no  other  way 
than  by  a  mechanical  force?  Cannot  he  restore  its 
lost  power  of  spiritual  perception  and  susceptibility  of 
holy  feeling,  without  doing  any  violence  to  its  free 
and  spiritual  nature?  But  I  shall  be  told,  that  there 
neither  is,  nor  can  be,  any  moral  or  spiritual  nature, 
or  disposition  prior  to  volition,  in  the  mind — for  mo- 
rality consists,  essentially,  in  choice;  and  to  suppose 
morality  to  have  any  other  existence,  than  in  the 
transient  act,  is  an  absurdity.  If  this  be  sovmd  moral 
philosophy,  then  my  theory  must  fall.  This  is  a 
question  not  requiring  or  admitting  of  much  reason- 
ing. It  is  a  subject  for  the  intuitive  judgment  of  the 
moral  faculty.  If  there  are  minds  so  constituted,  that 
they  cannot  conceive  of  permanent,  latent  dispositions 
in  the  soul,  both  good  and  evil,  I  can  do  no  more 
than  express  my  strong  dissent  from  their  opinion, 
and  appeal  to  the  common  sense  of  mankind. 

Some  of  my  most  serious  readers,  I  know,  will  ob- 
ject to  my  theory  of  the  mind's  operations,  in  one 
important  particular.  They  are  so  far  from  thinking 
that  any  illumination  of  the  mind  will  produce  holy 
affections,  that  it  is  a  radical  principle  in  their  philos- 
ophy of  religion,  that  light  always  increases  or  stirs 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  83 

up  the  enmity  of  an  unregenerate  heart;  that  the 
more  unholy  beings  know  of  God,  the  more  they 
will  hate  him,  as  is  supposed  to  be  proved  by  the  ex- 
perience of  thousands  under  conviction  of  sin;  and 
by  the  case  of  the  devils  who  believe  and  tremble, 
but  never  love.  The  difference  between  me  and 
these  persons  is  not  so  great  as  at  first  view  it  seems. 
Their  error  consists,  if  I  am  right,  in  making  too 
wide  a  severance  between  the  understanding  and  the 
will;  between  the  intehect  and  the  atiections.  I  am 
ready  to  admit,  that  all  the  knowledge  wliich  you 
can  communicate  to  a  man  remaining  unregenerate, 
may  have  the  tendency  of  incr€?cising  or  stirring  up 
his  enmity  to  God  and  his  law;  but,  observe,  tiiat  I 
make  illumination  the  first  effect  of  regeneration. 
And  I  hold  that  no  unregenerate  man  is,  while  in 
that  state,  any  more  capable  of  spiritual  perception 
than  a  blind  man  is  of  a  perception  of  colours.  Tfie 
blind  man,  however,  has  his  own  ideas  about  colours, 
and  may  understand  their  various  relations  to  each 
other,  and  all  the  laws  which  regulate  the  reflexion 
and  refraction  of  light  as  well  as  those  who  see. 
This  was  remarkably  exemplified  in  the  case  of  Dr. 
Sanderson,  who,  though  blind  from  his  early  infancy, 
delivered  an  accurate  course  of  lectures,  on  light  and 
colours,  in  the  University  of  Oxford.  Just  so,  an  un- 
regenerate man  may  be  able  to  deliver  able  lectures 
on  all  the  points  in  theology,  and  yet  not  have  one 
glimpse  of  the  beauty  and  glory  of  the  truth,  with 
which  he  is  conversant.  The  Sacred  Scriptures  re- 
present all  unconverted  men,  as  destitute  of  the  true 
knowledge  of  God.  If  there  be  a  clear  truth  in  the 
laws  of  mental  operation,  it  is,  that  the  allections  are 
in  exact  accordance  with  the  views  of  the  under- 
standing. If  men  are  unafljected  with  the  truth 
known,  it  must  be  because  they  do  not  know  it 
aright:  neither  can  they  perceive  it  in  its  true  nature 
until  they  are  regenerated.  Did  any  man  ever  see 
an  object  to  be  lovely  and  not  feel  an  emotion  cor- 
responding with  that  quality?  And  what  unconvert- 
ed man  ever  beheld  in  Christ,  as  represented  in  Scrip- 


84 


THOUGHTS    ON 


ture,  the  beauty  and  glory  of  God?  Hence  thatdoc- 
trine  is  not  true,  which  confines  depravity  or  hoHness 
to  the  will;  and  which  considers  the  understanding 
as  a  natural  and  the  will  a  moral  faculty.  The  soul 
is  not  depraved,  or  holy  by  departments;  the  disease 
affects  it,  as  a  soul;  and  of  course,  all  faculties  em- 
ployed in  moral  exercises,  must  partake  of  their  moral 
qualities.  There  is,  however,  no  propriety  in  calling 
either  of  them  a  moral  faculty;  for  although  both 
understanding  and  will  are  concerned  in  every  moral 
act;  yet  not  one  hundredth  part  of  the  acts  of  either 
partakes  of  a  moral  nature.  The  will  is  just  as  much 
a  natural  faculty  as  The  understanding;  and  the  un- 
derstanding is  as  much  a  moral  faculty  as  the  will. 
But  in  strict  propriety  of  speech,  the  only  faculty 
which  deserves  to  be  called  a  moral  faculty  is  con- 
science;  because,  by  it  only  are  we  capable  of  moral 
perceptions  or  feelings. 

I  am  afraid  that  I  have  gone  too  far  into  abstruse 
distinctions,  for  most  of  my  readers;  but  there  are 
thousands  of  plain,  private  Christians,  in  our  country, 
who  can,  not  only  enter  into  such  disquisitions,  but 
will  relish  them. 

I  come  now  to  what  I  intended  when  I  began  this 
subject,  to  describe  as  exactly  as  I  can,  what  are  the 
exercises  of  the  new  heart,  or  the  regenerate  man. 
And  here  my  appeal  is  to  no  theories,  but  to  experi- 
ence, combined  with  the  word  of  God.  Every  man, 
on  whom  this  divine  operation  has  passed,  experi- 
ences neiu  views  of  divine  truth.  The  soul  sees  that, 
in  these  things,  which  it  never  saw  before.  It  dis- 
cerns, in  the  truths  of  God,  a  beauty  and  excellence, 
of  which  it  had  no  conception  until  now.  Whatever 
may  be  the  diversity  in  the  clearness  of  the  views  of 
different  persons,  or  in  the  particular  truths  brought 
before  the  mind,  they  all  agree  in  this,  that  there  is  a 
new  perception  of  truth;  whether  you  ascribe  it  to 
the  head  or  the  heart,  I  care  not.  It  is  a  blessed  re- 
ality, and  there  are  many  witnesses  of  sound  mind, 
and  unquestionable  veracity,  who  are  ready  to  attest 
it  as  a  verity,  known  in  their  own  delightful  experi- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


85 


ence.  But,  as  the  field  of  truth  is  very  wide,  and 
divine  things  may  be  perceived  under  innumerable 
aspects  and  relations,  and  as  there  is  no  uniformity  in 
the  particular  objects  wliich  may  first  occupy  the  at- 
tention of  the  enlightened  mind,  it  is  impossible  to  lay 
down  any  particular  order  of  exercises  which  take 
place.  The  case  may  be  illustrated  by  supposing  a 
great  multitude  of  blind  persons  restored  to  sight  by 
an  act  of  divine  power.  Some  of  them  would  be  so 
situated,  that  the  first  object  seen  would  be  the  glori- 
ous luminary  of  day;  another  might  receive  the  gift 
of  sight  in  the  night,  and  the  moon  and  stars  would 
absorb  his  wondering  attention;  a  third  might  direct 
his  opened  eyes  to  a  beautiful  landscape;  and  a 
fourth  might  have  but  a  ray  of  light  shining  into  a 
dark  dungeon  without  his  knowing  whence  it  came. 
Of  necessity,  there  must  be  the  same  endless  variety 
in  the  particular  views  of  new  converts;  but  still  they 
all  partake  of  new  views  of  divine  truth;  and  the 
same  truths  will  generally  be  contemplated,  sooner 
or  later;  but  not  in  the  same  order,  nor  exhibited  to 
all  with  the  same  degree  of  clearness.  Now,  accord- 
ing to  the  views  which  I  entertain,  this  spiritual 
knowledge  granted  to  the  regenerated  soul  is  nothing 
else  but  saving  faith;  for  knowledge  and  belief  in- 
volve each  other.  To  know  a  thing  and  not  believe 
it  is  a  contradiction;  and  to  believe  a  thing  and  not 
know  it  is  impossible.  Faith  is  simply  a  belief  of 
the  truth,  when  viewed  as  distinct,  and  discriminated 
from  all  other  mental  acts.  Some  will  be  startled  at 
this  nakedness  of  faith;  and  many  will  be  ready  to 
object,  that  it  is  to  make  faith  to  be  no  more  than  a 
bare  assent  of  the  understanding  to  the  truth:  well, 
if  it  be  uniformly  accompanied  by  all  holy  aftections 
and  emotions  what  is  the  diiference?  But  I  deny  that 
as  described,  it  is  a  naked  assent  of  the  understand- 
ing, as  those  words  are  commonly  understood.  The 
wide  distinction  between  the  understanding  and  will, 
which  has  very  much  confounded  our  mental  philo- 
sophy, has  come  down  to  us  from  the  schoolmen. 
But  in    making   the   distinction,  they  made   simple 


86 


THOUGHTS    ON 


verity,  the  object  of  the  understanding.  And  that  is 
what  we  commonly  mean  by  bare  assent;  it  relates 
to  the  simple  truth;  but  the  will,  has  respect,  they 
said,  to  good — every  species  of  good.  Now  the  faith 
of  which  I  have  spoken,  at  the  same  time  contem- 
plates the  truth,  and  the  beauty,  excellency,  and  good- 
ness of  the  object,  and  also  its  adaptedness  to  our 
necessities:  all  these  things  are  comprehended  in  the 
views  which  the  Holy  Spirit  gives  to  the  mind. 
Therefore,  though  faith  be  a  simple  uncompounded 
act,  a  firm  belief,  or  persuasion,  it  comprehends  the 
objects  ascribed  both  to  the  understanding  and  will. 
Here  I  shall  be  met  by  a  definition  of  faith,  which 
makes  the  act  simple  also,  but  considers  that  act  to 
be  trust  or  confidence.  This  the  reader  will  remem- 
ber is  Dr.  D wight's  definition  of  Faith.  And  the 
only  objection  to  it,  is,  that  it  is  too  narrow  to  com- 
prehend all  that  belongs  to  the  subject.  Trust  is  no- 
thing else  than  the  firm  belief  or  persuasion  of  the 
truth  of  a  promise.  When  we  say  that  we  trust,  or 
have  confidence  in  a  person,  it  relates  to  some  pro- 
mise. This  definition  comprehends  all  acts  of  faith, 
which  have  a  promise  of  God  for  their  object,  and 
these  are  certainly  the  most  important  acts,  and  ac- 
companied with  the  most  sensible  emotions.  But  all 
divine  truth  is  not  in  the  form  of  a  promise.  The 
whole  word  of  God  is  the  proper  object  of  a  true 
faith;  and  a  large  part  of  divine  revelation  is  taken 
up  with  histories,  prophecies,  doctrines,  and  precepts. 
The  Christian  believes  all  these,  as  well  as  the  pro- 
mises. 

Here  faith  is  the  first  act  of  the  regenerated  soul; 
and  the  most  important  act,  for  it  draws  all  holy 
affections  and  emotions  in  its  train.  But  though  it 
sweetly  mingles  with  every  other  grace,  it  is  distinct 
from  them  all.  All  its  diversified  acts  arise  from  the 
nature  of  the  truths  believed,  and  men  may  enumer- 
ate and  name  as  many  of  these  acts  as  they  please; 
still  the  nature  of  faith  remains  simple.  It  is  a  firm 
persuasion  or  belief  of  the  truth,  apprehended  under 
the  illumination  of  the  Holy  Spirit.     It  necessarily 


KELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


87 


works  by  love  and  purifies  the  heart,  for  divine  things 
thus  discerned,  cannot  but  excite  the  affections  to  holy- 
objects,  by  wiiich  sinful  desires  and  appetites  will  be 
subdued;  and  when  we  are  persuaded  of  the  truth  of 
God's  gracious  promises,  there  will  always  be  a  sweet 
repose  of  soul  because  the  promises  contain  the  very 
blessings  which  we  need;  and  to  be  assured  that  there 
are  such  blessings  for  all  who  will  receive  them,  and 
especially  if  the  soul  is  conscious  that  it  is  exercising 
faith,  will  produce  sweet  consolation — "  There  is  joy 
and  peace  in  believing." 

According  to  the  view  of  faith  now  given,  there  is 
nothing  mysterious  about  it.  To  believe  in  divine 
truth  is  an  act  of  the  mind,  precisely  the  same  as  to 
believe  in  other  truth;  and  the  difference  between  a 
saving  faith  and  a  historical  or  merely  speculative 
faith,  consists  not  in  the  truths  believed:  for  in  both 
they  are  the  same;  nor  in  the  degree  of  assent  given 
to  the  proposition,  but  in  the  evidence  on  which  they 
are  respectively  founded.  A  saving  faith  is  produced 
by  the  manifestation  of  the  truth,  in  its  true  nature  to 
the  mind,  which  now  apprehends  it,  according  to  the 
degree  of  faith,  in  its  spiritual  qualities,  its  beauty, 
and  glory,  and  sweetness;  whereas  a  historical  or 
speculative  faith  may  rest  on  the  prejudices  of  edu- 
cation, or  the  deductions  of  reason;  but  in  its  exer- 
cise, there  is  no  conception  of  the  true  qualities  of 
divine  things.  The  humblest,  weakest  believer  pos- 
sesses a  knowledge  of  God,  hidden  from  the  wisest 
of  enlightened  men.  According  to  that  saying  of 
Christ,  "  I  thank  thee,  0  Father,  Lord  of  heaven  and 
earth,  that  thou  hast  hid  these  things  from  the  wise 
and  prudent,  and  has  revealed  them  to  babes." 

On  the  subject  of  experimental  religion  our  depen- 
dence must  not  be  on  the  theories  of  men,  but  on  the 
unerring  word  of  God,  and  on  the  facts  which  have 
been  observed  in  the  experience  of  true  Christians. 
In  the  exercises  of  new  converts  there  is,  in  some  res- 
pects, a  remarkable  similarity,  and  in  others  a  remark- 
able variety.  All  are  convinced  of  sin,  not  only  of 
life  but  of  heart.    All  are  brought  to  acknowledge 


88 


THOUGHTS    ON 


the  justice  of  God,  in  their  condemnation,  and  to  feel 
that  tliey  might  be  left  to  perish,  without  any  dero- 
gation from  the  perfections  of  God;  and  that  they 
have  no  abihty  to  bring  God  under  any  obhgations  to 
save  them,  by  their  prayers,  tears,  or  other  rehgious 
duties.  All  true  Christians,  moreover,  love  the  truth 
which  has  been  revealed  to  their  minds,  and  are  led 
to  trust  in  Christ  alone  for  salvation;  and  they  all 
hunger  and  thirst  after  righteousness,  and  resolve  to 
devote  themselves  to  the  service  of  God,  and  prefer 
his  glory  above  their  chief  joy.  But,  beside  those 
varieties  already  described,  as  arising  from  several 
causes,  there  is  often  much  difference  in  their  exerci- 
ses, arising  from  the  particular  truths  which  they  are 
led  to  contemplate  when  their  eyes  are  first  opened. 
I  do  not  mean  to  go  over  the  ground  which  we  have 
already  passed,  otherwise  than  by  astatement  of  facts 
from  authentic  sources,  which  may  serve  to  corrobor- 
ate and  illustrate  the  statements  already  given.  Per- 
haps no  man,  who  has  lived  in  modern  times,  has  had 
a  better  opportunity  to  form  an  accurate  judgment  of 
facts  of  this  kind,  than  President  Edwards;  and  few 
men,  who  ever  lived,  were  better  qualified  to  discrim- 
inate between  true  and  false  religion.  It  is  a  thing 
much  to  be  prized,  that  this  great  and  good  man  has 
left  a  record  of  that  most  remarkable  revival  which 
took  place  in  Northampton,  New  England,  in  the  year 
1734  and  onwards.  This  narrative  was  written  soon 
afterwards,  and  was  communicated  to  Dr.  Watts  and 
Dr.  Guyse,  who  tmited  in  a  preface  which  accompa- 
nied the  narrative,  when  published  in  London.  In 
this  account,  carefully  drawn  up,  we  have  a  satisfac- 
tory account  of  the  exercises  of  the  subjects  of  the 
work,  with  the  varieties  which  were  observed  in  the 
experience  of  different  persons.  The  leading  facts 
have  here  been  selected  from  the  narrative,  so  as  to 
occupy  the  least  possible  room.  To  any,  who  take 
an  interest  in  this  subject,  these  facts  cannot  but  be 
gratifying;  and  however  the  narrative  may  have  been 
perused  by  some,  yet  it  will  not  be  disagreeable  to 
them  to  have  some  of  the  prominent  traits   of  the 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  89 

religions  exercises,  at  that  time,  presented  to  them  in 
a  condensed  form.  Mr.  Edwards  informs  us, '•  that 
there  was  scarcely  a  single  person  in  the  town,  old  or 
young, left  unconcerned  about  the  great  things  of  the 
eternal  world;"  and  although  lie  does  not  pretend  to 
know  the  precise  number  of  converts,  he  is  of  opinion 
that  it  could  not  be  less,  in  a  judgment  of  charity, 
than  three  hundred.  Our  object  is  not  to  abridge  the 
narrative,  but  merely  to  select  the  account  of  the  vari- 
ety of  exercises  experienced,  as  there  given.  "There 
is  a  great  variety,"  says  he,  "as  to  the  degree  of 
trouble  and  fear,  that  persons  are  exercised  with,  be- 
fore they  attain  any  comfortable  evidence  of  pardon 
and  acceptance  with  God.  Some  are  from  the  begin- 
ning carried  on  with  abundantly  more  hope  and  en- 
couragement than  others.  Some  have  had  ten  times 
less  trouble  than  others,  in  whom  the  work  yet  ap- 
pears the  same  in  the  issue The  awful  apprehen- 
sions persons  have  had  of  their  misery  have,  for  the 
most  part,  been  increasing,  the  nearer  they  have  ap- 
proached to  deliverance.  Sometimes  they  think  them- 
selves wholly  senseless,  and  fear  that  the  Spirit  of  God 
has  left  tliem,  and  that  they  are  given  up  to  judicial 
hardness,  yet  they  appear  very  deeply  exercised  with 
that  fear,  and  in  great  earnestness  to  obtain  conviction 
again.  Many  times,  persons  under  great  awakenings 
were  concerned  because  they  thought  they  were  not 
awakened,  but  miserably  hard-hearted,  senseless, sot- 
tish creatures  still,  and  sleeping  on  the  brink  of  hell 

Persons  are  sometimes  brought  to  the  borders  of  des- 
pair, and  it  looks  as  black  as  midnight  to  them,  a 
little  before  the  day  dawns  on  their  souls.  The  de- 
pravity of  the  heart  has  discovered  itself  in  various 
exercises,  in  the  time  of  legal  convictions.  Some- 
times it  appears  as  in  a  great  struggle,  like  something 
roused  by  an  enemy.  Many,  in  such  circumstances, 
have  felt  a  great  spirit  of  envy  towards  the  godly;  es- 
pecially towards  those  thought  to  have  been  recently 
converted.  As  they  are  gradually  more  and  more 
convinced  of  the  corruption  and  wickedness  of  their 
hearts,  they  seem  to  themselves  to  grow  worse  and 


90 


THOUGHTS    ON 


worse,  harder  and  blinder,  more  desperately  wicked 

instead  of  growing  better When  awakenings  first 

begin,  their  consciences  are  commonly  more  exercised 
about  tlieir  outward  vicious  courses,  but  afterwards 
are  much  more  burdened  with  a  sense  of  heart  sins, 
the  dreadful  corruption  of  their  nature,  their  enmity 
against  God,  the  pride  of  their  hearts,  their  unbelief, 
their  rejection  of  Christ,  the  stubbornness  of  their  will, 

and  the  like Very  often,  under  first  awakenings, 

they  set  themselves  to  walk  more  strictly,  confess 
their  sins,  and  perform  many  religious  duties,  with  a 
secret  hope  of  appeasing  God's  anger.  And  some- 
times, at  first  setting  out,  their  affections  are  so  moved, 
that  they  are  full  of  tears,  in  their  confessions  and 
prayers,  which  they  are  ready  to  make  much  of,  as 
if  they  were  some  atonement,  and  conceive  that  they 
grow  better  apace,  and  shall  soon  be  converted;  but 
their  affections  and  hopes  are  short-lived,  for  they 
quickly  find  that  they  fail,  and  then  they  think  them- 
selves to  be  grown  worse  again.  When  they  reflect 
on  the  wicked  working  of  their  hearts  against  God, 
they  have  more  distressing  apprehensions  of  his  anger, 
and  have  great  fears  that  God  will  never  show  mercy 
to  them;  or  perhaps,  that  they  have  committed  the 
unpardonable  sin,  and  are  often  tempted  to  leave  off 

in  despair When  they  begin  to  seek  salvation, 

they  are  commonly  profoundly  ignorant  of  themselves. 
They  are  not  sensible  how  blind  they  are,  and  how 
little  they  can  do,  to  bring  themselves  to  see  spiritual 
things  aright,  and  towards  putting  forth  gracious  ex- 
ercises in  their  own  souls.  When  they  see  unexpect- 
ed pollution  in  themselves,  they  go  about  to  wash 
their  own  defilements  and  make  themselves  clean; 
and  they  weary  themselves  in  vain,  till  God  shows 
them  that  it  is  in  vain;  and  that  their  help  is  not 
•where  they  have  sought  it.  But  some  persons  con- 
tinue to  wander  in  such  a  labyrinth  ten  times  as  long 
as  others,  before  their  own  experience  will  convince 
thera  of  their  own  insufficiency — so  that  it  is  not  their 
own  experience  at  last,  that  convinces  them,  but  the 
Spirit  of  God.      There  have  been  some  who  have 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  91 

not  had  great  terrors,  but  yet  have  had  a  very  quick 
work.  Some,  who  have  not  had  very  deep  convic- 
tions before  their  conversion,  have  much  more  of  it 
afterwards.  God  has  appeared  far  from  limiting 
himself  to  any  certain  method,  in  his  proceedings  with 
sinners,  under  legal  convictions.  There  is  in  nothing 
a  greater  difference  in  different  persons,  than  with 
respect  to  the  time  of  their  being  under  trouble: 
some,  but  a  few  days,  and  others  for  months  and 
years.  As  to  those  in  whom  legal  convictions  seem 
to  have  a  saving  issue,  the  first  thing  that  appears 
after  their  trouble,  is  a  conviction  of  the  justice  of  God 
in  their  condemnation,  from  a  sense  of  their  exceeding 
sinfulness.  Commonly,  their  minds,  immadiately  be- 
fore the  discovery  of  God's  justice,  are  exceedingly 
restless — in  a  kind  of  struggle  or  tumult;  and  some- 
limes  in  mere  anguish;  but  commonly,  as  soon  as 
they  have  this  conviction,  it  immediately  brings  their 
minds  to  a  calm  and  unexpected  quietness  and  com- 
posure; and  most  frequently,  then,  though  not  always, 
the  pressing  weight  upon  their  spirits  is  taken  off;  or 
a  general  hope  arises,  that  some  time  God  will  be 
gracious,  even  before  any  distinct,  particular  discove- 
ries of  n)ercy.    Conmionly,  they  come  to  a  conclusion, 

that  they  will  lie  at  God's  feet  and  loait  his  time 

That  calm  of  spirit  which  succeeds  legal  conviction, 
in  some  instances,  continues  some  time  before  any 
special  and  delightful  manifestation  is  made  to  the 
soul,  of  the  grace  of  God,  as  revealed  in  the  gospel. 
But,  very  often  some  comfortable  and  sweet  views  of 
a  merciful  God,  of  a  sufhcient  Redeemer,  or  of  some 
great  and  joyful  things  of  the  Gospel,  immediately 
follows,  or  in  a  very  little  time.  And  in  some,  the 
first  sight  of  their  desert  of  hell,  of  God's  sovereignty 
in  regard  to  their  salvation,  and  a  discovery  of  all- 
sufficient  grace,  are  so  near,  that  they  seem  to  go  to- 
gether. The  gracious  discoveries,  whence  the  first 
special  comforts  are  derived,  are,  in  many  respects, 
very  various.  More  frequently,  Christ  is  distinctly 
made  the  object  of  the  mind,  in  his  all-sufficiency  and 
willingness  to   save   sinners;   but   some   have   their 


92 


THOUGHTS    ON 


thoughts  more  especially  fixed  on  God,  in  some  of 
his  sweet  and  glorious  attributes,  manifested  in  the 
Gospel  and  shining  forth  of  Jesus  Christ.  Some  view 
the  all-sufliciency  of  the  grace  of  God — some  chiefly, 
the  iiifiniie  power  of  God  and  his  ability  to  save  them, 
and  to  do  all  things  for  them — and  some  look  most  to 
the  truth  and  faithfulness  of  God.  In  some,  the  truth 
and  certainty  of  the  Gospel,  in  general,  is  the  first 
joyful  discovery  they  have:  in  others,  the  certain 
proof  of  some  particular  promise.  In  some,  the  grace 
and  sincerity  of  God,  in  his  invitations,  very  com- 
monly, in  some  particular  invitation,  is  before  the 
mind.  Some  are  struck  with  the  glory  and  wonder- 
fulness  of  the  dying  love  of  Christ;  and  others  v/ith 
the  sufficiency  of  his  blood,  as  offered  to  make  an 
atonement  for  sin;  and  others  again,  with  the  value 
and  glory  of  his  obedience  and  righteousness.  In 
many,  the  excellency  and  loveliness  of  Christ  chiefly 
engage  their  thoughts,  while  in  some,  his  divinity; 
being  filled  with  the  idea,  that  He  is  indeed  the  Son 
of  the  living  God;  and  in  others,  the  excellency  of 
the  way  of  salvation  by  Christ,  and  the  suitableness 

of  it  to  their  necessities There  is  often  in  the  mind, 

some  particular  text  of  Scripture,  holding  forth  some 
particular  ground  of  consolation;  at  other  times,  a 
multitude  of  texts,  gracious  invitations,  and  promises, 
flowing  in  one  after  another,  filling  the  soul  more  and 
more  with  comfort  and  satisfaction.  Comfort  is  first 
given  to  some  while  reading  some  portion  of  Scrip- 
ture; but  in  others,  it  is  attended  with  no  particular 
Scripture  at  all.  In  some  instances,  many  divine 
things  seem  to  be  discovered  to  the  soul  at  once;  while 
others  have  their  minds  fixed  on  some  one  thing;  and 
afterwards  a  sense  of  others  is  given;  in  some,  with 
a  slower,  in  others,  a  swifter  succession. 

"  It  must  be  confessed,  that  Christ  is  not  always 
distinctly  and  explicitly  thought  of  in  the  first  sensible 
act  of  grace — though  most  commonly  he  is — but  some- 
times he  is  the  object  of  the  mind  only  implicitly. 
Thus  when  persons  have  evidently  appeared  stripped 
of  their  own  righteousness,  and  have  stood  condemn- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


93 


ed,  as  guilty  of  death,  they  have  been  comforted  with 
a  joyful  and  satisfactory  evidence,  that  the  mercy 
and  grace  of  God  is  sufficient  for  them — that  their 
sins,  though  never  so  great,  shall  be  no  hindrance  to 
their  being  accepted — that  there  is  mercy  enough  in 
God  for  the  whole  world,  &c. — while  they  give  no  ac- 
count of  any  particular  or  distinct  thought  of  Christ; 
but  yet  it  appears,  that  the  revelation  of  mercy,  in  the 
gospel,  is  the  ground  of  their  encouragement  and 
hope,  yet  such  persons  afterwards  obtain  distinct  and 
clear  discoveries  of  Christ,  accompanied  with  lively 
and  special  actings  of  faith  and  love  towards  him. 
Frequently,  when  persons  have  had  the  gospel  ground 
of  relief  opened  to  them,  and  have  been  entertaining 
their  minds  with  the  sweet  prospect,  they  have  thought 
nothing  at  that  time  of  their  being  converted.  The 
view  is  joyful  to  them  as  it  is  in  its  own  nature  glori- 
ous; gives  them  quite  new  and  delightful  ideas  of 
God  and  Christ,  and  greatly  encourages  them  to  seek 
conversion,  and  begets  in  them  a  strong  resolution  to 
devote  themselves  to  God  and  his  Son.  There  is 
wrought  in  them  a  holy  repose  of  soul  in  God  through 
Christ,  with  a  secret  disposition  to  fear  and  love  him, 
and  to  hope  for  blessings  from  him  in  this  way,  yet 
they  have  no  conception  that  they  are  nowconverted; 
it  does  not  so  much  as  come  into  their  minds.  They 
know  not  that  the  sweet  complacence  they  feel  in  the 
mercy  and  complete  salvation  of  God,  as  it  includes 
pardon  and  sanctification,  and  is  held  forth  to  them 
through  Christ,  is  a  true  receiving  of  this  mercy,  or  a 
plain  evidence  of  their  receiving  it.  Many  continue 
a  long  time  in  a  course  of  gracious  exercises  and  ex- 
periences, and  do  not  think  themselves  to  be  convert- 
ed, but  conclude  otherwise;  and  none  knows  how 
long  they  would  continue  so,  were  they  not  helped 
by  particular  instructions.  There  are  undoubted  in- 
stances of  some  who  lived  in  this  way  for  many  years 
together.  Those  who,  while  under  legal  convictions, 
have  had  the  greatest  terrors,  have  not  always  ob- 
tained the  greatest  light  and  comfort;  nor  has  the 
light  always  been  most  speedily  communicated;  but 

7 


94 


THOUGHTS    ON 


yet  I  think  the  time  of  conversion  has  been  most  sen- 
sible in  such  persons.  Converting  influences  com- 
monly bring  an  extraordinary  conviction  of  the  cer- 
tainty and  reality  of  the  great  things  of  religion; 
thougli  in  some,  this  is  much  greater,  sometime  after 
conversion,  than  at  first." 

The  religious  exercises,  contained  in  the  preceding 
statement,  will  not  be  new  to  those  who  have  been  at 
all  conversant  with  revivals.  Such  will  recognise,  in 
the  account,  what  they  have  observed,  and  will  be 
gratified  to  find  the  same  facts  which  they  have  ob 
served,  recorded  and  published  by  such  a  master  in 
Israel.  Almost  the  only  remark  which  I  feel  disposed 
to  make,  is,  that  it  is  too  commonly  supposed  that  the 
time  of  receiving  comfort,  is  always  the  time  of  re- 
generation; whereas,  this  might  rather  be  termed  the 
time  of  conversion;  for  then  the  exercises  of  the  re- 
newed soul  came  to  a  crisis,  and  faith,  which  was 
before  weak  and  obscure,  shines  forth  with  vigour. 
Perhaps  it  is  the  prevalent  opinion  among  orthodox 
writers,  that  the  first  views  of  the  renovated  soul  are 
views  of  Christ;  and  when  mere  legal  convictions  are 
immediately  followed  by  such  views  and  their  attend- 
ant consolations,  this  opinion  may  be  correct;  but  in 
many  cases,  it  is  reasonable  to  believe,  that  the  con- 
victions experienced  are  those  of  the  true  penitent. 
And  as,  in  almost  aii  cases  here  recorded  and  observ- 
ed by  others,  there  is  a  distinct  view  and  approbation 
of  God's  justice  in  the  condemnation  of  the  sinner,  I 
cannot  but  think,  agreeably  to  what  was  stated  in  a 
former  number,  that  the  soul  has  passed  from  death 
unto  life,  before  these  feelings  are  experienced ;  and 
and  that  may  help  to  account  for  the  remarkable  calm 
which  now  succeeds  the  dark  and  stormy  night.  This 
revelation  of  Jesus  Christ  in  the  believer,  may  be 
compared  to  the  birth  of  a  child  into  the  light  of  this 
world;  but  its  conception  was  long  before.  And  so 
this  interesting  point  in  experience  is  the  new  birth, 
but  the  principle  of  spiritual  life  commonly  exists  be- 
fore. Besides,  comfort  is  no  sure  evidence  of  a  genu- 
ine birth;  some  who  become  strong  men  in  the  Lord 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  95 

are  born  in  sorrow,  like  Benoni.  They  weep  before 
they  are  able  to  smile-,  but,  in  the  spiritual  birth,  joy 
and  sorrow  often  sweetly  mingle  their  streams. 

There  are  two  reasons  why  faith,  though  one  of 
the  simplest  exercises  of  the  mind,  is  represented  as 
having  so  many  different  acts;   the  one  is,  the  great 
variety  in  the  truths  believed;  and  the  other,  that, 
commonly,  various  exercises  are  included  in  the  ac- 
count of  ftiith,  which  do  always  accompany  or  follow 
a  true  faith,  but  do  not  appertain  to  its  essence.     As 
faith  has  all  revealed  truth  for  its  object,  the  feelings 
produced  in  the  mind  correspond  with  the  particular 
nature  of  the  truth  which  is,  at  any  time,  in  the  con- 
templation of  the  mind.     If,  to  the  soul  under  the 
illumination  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  the  law  is  viewed  in 
its  spirituality  and  moral  excellence,  while  there  will 
be  experienced  an  approbation  of  the  will  of  God 
thus  expressed,  yet  a  lively  sense  of  the  sinfulness  of 
our  hearts  and  lives,  must  be  the  predominant  feel- 
ing.    This  discovery  of  the  purity  of  the  law,  and 
deep  feeling  of  the  evil  of  sin,  commonly  precedes 
any  clear  view  of  Christ,  and  the  plan  of  salvation; 
and  has  given  rise  to  the  prevalent  opinion,  that  re- 
pentance goes  before  faith  in  the  natural  order  of 
pious  exercises.     But,  according  to  our  idea  of  faith, 
as  given  above,  it  must  necessarily  precede  and  be 
the  cause  of  every  other  gracious  exercise.     Com- 
monly, indeed,  when  we  speak  of  faith,  we  describe 
its  maturity;   but  there  are  often  many  obscure  but 
real  acts  of  faith,  before  the  soul  apprehends  the  ful- 
ness, and  excellency,  and  suitableness  of  Christ.    And 
in  many  cases,  when  some  view  of  the  plan  of  salva- 
tion is  obtained,  the  single  truth  believed  is,  the  ability 
of  Christ  to  save;  and  even  the  full  persuasion  of  this 
gives  rise  to  joy,  when  the  soul  has  been  long  cast 
down  with  gloomy  forebodings  of  everlasting  misery, 
and  with  the  apprehension  that,  for  such  a  sinner, 
there  was  no  salvation.     As  faith  does  no  more  than 
bring  the  truth  before  the  mind  in  its  true  nature, 
every  act  of  faith  must,  of  course,  be  characterized  by 
the  qualities  of  the  truth  thus  presented,  and  by  its 


96  THOUGHTS    ON 

adaptation  to  the  circumstances  and  convictions  of 
the  sinner.  All  those  acts  of  faith  which  bring  the 
extent  and  spirituality  of  the  law  of  God  fully  into 
view  must  be  accompanied  with  painful  emotions,  on 
account  of  the  deep  conviction  of  disconformity  to 
that  perfect  rule  which  cannot  but  be  experienced, 
when  that  object  is  before  the  mind.  But  all  those 
invitations,  promises,  and  declarations  which  exhibit 
a  Saviour,  and  the  method  of  recovery,  when  truly 
believed,  under  a  just  apprehension  of  their  nature, 
must  be  accompanied,  not  only  with  love,  but  joy, 
and  hope,  and  a  free  consent  to  be  saved  in  God's 
appointed  way;  and  when  the  previous  distress  and 
discouragement  have  been  great,  and  the  views  of 
gospel  truth  clear,  the  joy  is  overflowing,  and  as  long 
as  these  views  are  unclouded,  peace  flows  like  a 
river.  But  even  in  the  discoveries  which  faith  makes 
of  Christ,  there  is  a  great  variety  in  the  extent  and 
combination  of  divine  truth  which  comes  before  the 
mind  at  any  one  time.  Probably  no  two  persons,  in 
believing,  have  precisely  the  same  truths  in  all  their 
relations,  presented  to  them;  and  not  only  so,  but  it 
is  hardly  credible,  that  the  same  believer,  in  his  vari- 
ous contemplations  of  divine  truth,  takes  in  exactly 
the  same  field  of  view  at  difl'erent  times.  Hence  it 
appears,  that  the  whole  power  of  faith  is  derived  from 
the  importance,  excellence,  amiableness,  and  suitable- 
ness of  the  truths  believed.  And  when  faith  is  "  im- 
puted for  righteousness,"  it  is  not  the  simple  act  of 
faith  which  forms  a  righteousness.  If  any  exercise 
of  the  renewed  mind  could  constitute  a  righteousness, 
it  would  be  love — which  according  to  its  strength,  is 
"the  fulfilling  of  the  law;"  but  when  the  soul  by 
faith  is  fully  persuaded  that  Christ  is  the  end  of  the 
law  for  righteousness;  this  righteousness  of  the  Surety, 
when  received  by  faith,  is  imputed ;  and  by  this  alone, 
which  is  perfect,  can  God  be  just  in  justifying  the 
ungodly.  "  Faith  thus  receiving  and  resting  on  Christ 
and  his  righteousness,  is  the  alone  instrument  of  jus- 
tification; yet  is  not  alone  in  the  person  justified, 
but  is  ever  accompanied  with  all  other  saving  graces, 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


97 


and  is  no  dead  faith:  but  worketh  by  love.'*  "By 
this  faith, a  Christian  beheveth  to  be  true,  whatsoever 
is  revealed  in  the  word,  for  the  authority  of  God  hun- 
self  speaking  therein;  and  acteth  differently,  upon  that 
which  each  particular  passage  thereof  containeth; 
yielding  obedience  to  the  commands,  trembling  at  the 
threatenings,  and  embracing  the  promises  of  God  for 
this  life,  and  that  which  is  to  come.  But  the  prmci- 
pal  acts  of  faith  are,  accepting  and  resting  upon  Christ 
alone  for  justification,  sanctification,  and  eternal  hfe, 
by  virtue  of  the  covenant  of  grace."  This  quotation, 
taken  from  a  formulary,  known  to  many  of  my  read- 
ers, contains  as  just  and  comprehensive  a  view  of  the 
nature  of  a  saving  faith  as  could  be  given  in  words. 

But  another  reason  why  so  many  divine  acts  are 
attributed  to  faith  is,  because  other  exercises  are  in- 
cluded in  the  description  of  faith,  which  though  they 
always  accompany  it,  ought  not  to  be  confounded 
with  it.     It  was,  two  hundred  years  ago,  a  question 
much  agitated  among  the  divines  of  Holland,  whether 
love  or  charity  entered  into  the  essence  of  faith?    And 
in  our  own  country,  faith  and  love  have  not  been 
kept  distinct.     A  very  prevalent  system  of  theology 
makes  the  essence  of  faith  to  be  love.    Much  evil 
arises  from  confounding  what  are  so  clearly  distin- 
guished in  the  word  of  God.     If  faith  and  love  were 
identical,  how  could  it  be  said  that  "faith  works  by 
love?"    The  apostle  Paul  speaks  of  fauli,  hope,  and 
charity,  or  love,  as  so  distinct,  that,  although  they  are 
all  necessary,  they  may  be  compared,  as  to  excel- 
lency— "  The  greatest  of  these  is  charily."    The  cele- 
brated Witsius,  in  his  "Economy  of  the  Covenants," 
in  describing  faith,  among  the  various  acts  which  he 
attributes  to  this  divine  principle,  reckons  "love  of 
the  truth,"  and  "  hungering  and  thirsting  after  Christ." 
Now,  it  is  an  abuse  of  language  to  say  that  faith  loves 
or  desires;  faith  works  by  love,  and  excites  hungering 
and  thirsting  desires  after  Christ..  But,  it  may  be  asked, 
if  these  graces  are  inseparably  connected,  why  be  so 
solicitous  to  distinguish  them?    First,  because  in  so 
doing,  we  follow  the  sacred  writers;   secondly,  be- 


98 


THOUGHTS   ON 


cause  it  has  a  bad  effect  to  use  a  Scriptural  word  to 
express  what  it  was  never  designed  to  express;  and, 
thirdly,  because  of  the  special  office  of  faith  in  a  sin- 
ner's justification;  in  which  neither  love,  nor  any- 
other  grace  has  any  part,  although  they  are  the  effects 
of  faith.  When  love  is  confounded  with  a  justifying 
faith,  it  is  very  easy  to  slide  into  the  opinion  that  as 
love  is  the  substance  of  evangelical  obedience,  when 
we  are  said  to  be  justified  by  faith,  the  meaning  is, 
that  we  are  justified  by  our  own  obedience.  And 
accordingly,  in  a  certain  system  of  divinity,  valued 
by  many,  in  this  country,  the  matter  is  thus  stated: 
faith  is  considered  a  comprehensive  term  for  all 
evangelical  obedience.  The  next  step  is — and  it  has 
already  been  taken  by  some — that  our  obedience  is 
meritorious,  and  when  its  defects  are  purged  by  aton- 
ing blood,  it  is  sufficient  to  procure  for  us  a  title  to 
eternal  life.  Thus  have  some,  boasting  of  the  name 
of  Protestants,  worked  around,  until  they  have  fallen 
upon  one  of  the  most  offensive  tenets  of  Popery.  But, 
it  would  be  difficult  to  bring  a  true  penitent  to  enter- 
tain the  opinion,  that  his  own  works  were  meritori- 
ous, or  could,  in  the  least,  recommend  him  to  God. 
The  whole  of  God's  dealings  with  the  souls  of  his 
own  people  effectually  dispels  from  their  minds  every 
feeling  of  this  kind.  The  very  idea  of  claiming  merit 
is  most  abhorrent  to  their  feelings. 

But  while  it  is  of  importance  to  distinguish  faith 
from  every  other  grace,  yet  it  is  necessary  to  insist 
on  the  fact,  that  that  faith,  which  does  not  produce 
love  and  other  holy  affections,  is  not  a  genuine  faith. 
In  the  apostles'  days,  a  set  of  libertines  arose,  who 
boasted  of  their  faith,  but  they  performed  no  good 
works  to  evince  the  truth  of  their  faith.  Against 
such  the  apostle  James  writes,  and  proves  that  such 
a  faith  was  no  better  than  that  of  devils,  and  would 
justify  no  man;  that  the  faith  of  Abraham  and  other 
believers,  which  did  justify,  was  not  a  dead  faith,  but 
living;  not  a  barren  faith,  but  productive  of  good 
works,  and  proved  itself  to  be  genuine  by  the  acts 
of  duty  which  it  induced  the  believer  to  perform. 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  99 

While  then  faith  stands  foremost  in  the  order  of  gra- 
cious exercises,  because  it  is  necessary  to  the  exist- 
ence of  every  other,  love  may  be  said  to  be  the  cen- 
tre, around  which  all  the  virtues  of  the  Christian  re- 
volve, and  from  which  they  derive  their  nature. 
Love,  of  some  kind,  is  familiar  to  the  experience  of 
all  persons;  and  all  love  is  attended  with  some  plea- 
sure in  its  exercise;  but  it  varies  on  account  of  the 
ditference  of  the  objects  of  affection.  Divine  love  is 
itself  a  delightful  and  soul-satisfying  exercise.  The 
soul  which  has  tasted  the  goodness  of  God,  is  con- 
vinced, that  nothing  more  is  necessary  to  complete 
felicity,  than  the  perfection  of  love.  This  supposes, 
however,  that  our  love  to  God  is  ever  accompanied 
with  some  sense  of  his  love  to  us.  Love,  unless  reci- 
procated, would  not  fill  up  the  cup  of  human  happi- 
ness. But  to  love,  and  be  beloved,  this  is  heaven. 
And  "we  love  Him  because  he  first  loved  us."  In 
the  first  exercises  of  a  renewed  mind,  love  to  God 
and  man  are  both  brought  into  action;  but  often  the 
prospect  of  deliverance  from  eternal  misery  which 
threatened,  may  absorb  the  attention.  It  is  indeed  a 
marvellous  deliverance,  to  be  snatched  from  the  verge 
of  hell,  and  assured  of  everlasting  life;  what  a  tumult 
of  feeling  must  it  create?  But  notwithstanding  this, 
it  frequently  happens,  that  in  the  first  discoveries  of 
the  plan  of  salvation,  the  soul  loses  sight  of  its  own 
interest,  and  is  completely  occupied  in  contemplating 
and  admiring  the  wisdom,  love,  and  justice  of  God, 
as  exhibited  in  the  cross  of  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ. 
Indeed,  the  believer,  when  these  spiritual  discoveries 
are  afforded,  thinks  nothing  of  the  nature  of  those 
acts  which  he  is  exercising;  and  it  may  not  be  till 
long  afterwards,  that  he  recognises  these  outgoings  of 
soul  to  be  true  love  to  the  Saviour. 

There  are  two  affections,  distinct  from  each  otlier  in 
their  objects,  which  are  included  under  the  term  love; 
the  one  terminates  on  the  goodness  or  moral  excel- 
lence of  its  object,  and  varies  accordins:to  the  particu- 
lar view,  at  any  time  enjoyed,  of  the  divine  attributes. 
This  comprehends  all  pious  affections  and  emotions 


100  THOUGHTS    ON 

arising  from  the  contemplation  of  the  affections  of 
God ;  and  some  of  them,  such  as  reverence  and  humi- 
Hty,  would  not  fall  under  the  name  of  love,  when 
taken  in  a  strict  sense;  but  when  used  as  a  general 
term  for  our  whole  obedience,  it  must  compreliend 
them  all.  This  may,  for  convenience,  be  called  the 
love  of  complacency ,  in  which  the  rational  soul  de- 
lights in  the  character  of  God  as  revealed  in  his  word. 
The  other  affection,  called  love,  has  not  the  character 
of  the  person  beloved  for  its  object,  but  his  happiness. 
It  may  be  intensely  exercised  towards  those  in  whose 
moral  qualities  there  can  be  no  complacency,  and  is 
called  the  love  of  benevolence.  God's  love  to  sin- 
ners is  of  this  kind;  and  this  is  the  kind  of  love  which 
Christians  are  bound  to  exercise  to  all  men  in  the 
world,  even  to  those  that  hate  and  persecute  them. 
Though  the  love  of  benevolence  may  exist  without 
the  love  of  complacency,  yet  the  converse  cannot  be 
asserted.  No  one  ever  felt  love  to  the  character  of 
another  without  desiring  his  happiness.  Before  con- 
version, the  soul  is  sordidly  selfish,  but  no  sooner  does 
this  change  take  place,  than  the  lieart  begins  to  be 
enlarged  with  an  expansive  benevolence.  The  whole 
world  is  embraced  in  its  charity.  "Good  will  to 
man"  is  a  remarkable  characteristic  of  the  "new 
creature;"  and  this  intense  desire  for  the  salvation  of 
our  fellow  men,  and  ardent  wish  that  they  might  all 
become  interested  in  that  Saviour,  whom  we  have 
found  to  be  so  precious,  is  the  true  source  of  the  mis- 
sionary spirit,  and  is  the  foundation,  often  of  labo- 
rious and  long  continued  exertions  to  prepare  for  the 
holy  ministry;  and  prompts  and  inclines  delicate  fe- 
males to  consent  to  leave  all  the  endearments  of  home, 
for  arduous  labour  in  a  foreign,  and  sometimes  a 
savage  land. 

But,  however  lively  the  affection  of  love  in  the  ex- 
ercises of  the  real  Christian,  he  never  can  lose  sight  of 
his  own  unworthiness.  Indeed,  the  brighter  his  dis- 
coveries of  the  divine  glory,  and  the  stronger  his  love, 
the  deeper  are  his  views  of  the  turpitude  of  sin;  the 
more  he  is  elevated  in  affection  and  assured  hope,  the 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  101 

deeper  is  he  depressed  in  humility  and  self-abasement. 
His  penitential  feelings,  from  the  nature  of  the  case, 
keep  pace  with  his  love  and  joy;  and  when  his  tears 
flow  in  copious  showers,  he  would  be  at  a  loss  to  tell, 
whether  he  was  weeping  for  joy  or  for  sorrow.  He 
might  say,  for  both;  for  in  these  pious  exercises,  these 
opposite  emotions  sweetly  mingle  their  streams:  and 
so  delightful  is  this  mingling  of  affections  naturally 
opposite,  that  the  person  could  hardly  be  persuaded, 
that  the  sweet  would  be  as  agreeable,  without,  as  with 
the  bitter.  One  hour  spent  under  the  cross,  while  the 
soul  is  thus  elevated — thus  abased — thusjoyful — and 
thus  sorrowful — is  better  than  a  thousand  of  earthly 
delights.  Observe,  Bunyan  does  not  make  the  burden 
of  Christian  fall  off  instantly  on  his  entering  in  at  the 
strait  gate;  but  when,  as  he  travelled,  he  came  in 
sight  of  the  cross.  Then,  in  a  moment,  those  cords 
which  had  bound  it  to  his  back,  and  which  none  could 
loose,  were  burst  asunder,  and  his  burden  fell  oft',  and 
never  was  fastened  on  him  again;  although  he  lay  so 
long  in  the  prison  of  Giant  Despair.  The  feelings  of 
a  renewed  heart,  are  never  afterwards  the  same  as 
under  legal  conviction.  There  are  scenes,  in  the  ex- 
perience of  the  lively  Christian,  of  which  the  wise 
men  of  the  world  never  dream;  and  which,  if  they 
were  told  of  them,  they  would  not  believe;  and 
these  things,  while  they  are  hidden  from  the  wise  and 
prudent,  are  revealed  unto  babes.  The  secret  of  the 
Lord  is  with  them  that  fear  him.  The  soul,  which 
lias  thus  returned  from  its  wanderings  to  the  bishop 
and  shepherd,  feels  under  the  strongest  obligations  to 
live  for  God — to  deny  itself — to  forsake  the  world — 
to  do  any  thing — be  anything — or  suff'er  any  thing, 
which  may  be  for  the  honour  of  its  divine  Master. 
Hence  a  new  life  commences — a  new  spirit  is  mani- 
fested— and  the  new  man,  maugre  all  his  remaining 
ignorance  and  imperfection,  gives  lucid  evidence  to  all 
who  carefully  observe  him,  that  he  has  been  with 
Jesus,  and  has  been  baptized  with  the  Holy  Ghost ; 
and,  the  more  frequently  these  views  and  exercises 
are  reiterated,  the  more  spiritual  and  heavenly  is  his 


102 


THOUGHTS    ON 


conversation.  This  is  a  light  which  cannot  be  hid, 
and  which  ought  to  shine  more  and  more  unto  the 
perfect  day.  Hear  then  the  exhortation  of  the  apos- 
tle Jude,  "But  ye,  beloved,  building  up  yourselves  on 
your  most  holy  faith,  praying  in  the  Holy  Ghost, 
keep  yourselves  in  the  love  of  God,  looking  for  the 
mercy  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ  unto  eternal  life."      ,  , 


CHAPTER  VII. 

Considerations  on  dreams,  visions,  &lc. — Remarkable  conversion  of  a 
blind  infidel  from  hearing  the  Bible  read. 

There  are  many  professors  of  religion  in  our  coun- 
try, who,  if  they  should  peruse  this  work  would  ima- 
gine a  great  defect  in  the  account  given  of  a  sinner's 
conversion,  because  nothing  has  been  said  about 
dreams  and  visions,  or  voices  and  lights,  of  a  super- 
natural kind.  During  the  various  religious  excite- 
ments which  extended  over  the  southern  States,  un- 
der the  preaching  of  different  denominations,  there 
was  mingled  with  the  good  influence  by  which  sin- 
ners were  converted  and  reformed,  no  small  degree 
of  enthusiasm,  which  led  the  people  to  seek  and  ex- 
pect extraordinary  revelations;  which  were  supposed 
to  be  granted  in  dreams  or  visions.  Indeed,  at  one 
time,  the  leaders  in  a  very  general  excitement,  which 
occurred  in  Virginia,  about  the  commencement  of  the 
Revolutionary  war,  were  impressed  with  the  idea, 
that  they  possessed  precisely  the  same  gifts  and 
powers  which  had  been  bestowed  upon  the  apostles; 
and  this  enthusiastic  idea  would  have  spread  widely, 
if  they  had  not  failed,  in  some  private  attempts,  to 
work  miracles.  But  the  opinion,  that  certain  persons 
had  an  extraordinary  call  from  God  to  preach,  and 
that  they  needed  neither  learning  nor  study,  to  enable 
them  to  preach  the  gospel,  continued  to  prevail  for  a 
long  time,  and  this  species  of  enthusiasm  is  not  en- 
tirely passed  away  even  to  this  day.     Such  preachers 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  103 

were  much  in  the  habit  of  declaiming  in  every  ser- 
mon, against  letter-learned  and  college-bred  ministers, 
and  they  seldom  failed  to  inform  their  hearers,  that 
they  had  selected  the  subject  of  discourse,  after  enter- 
ing the  pulpit;  and  some  of  them  even  gloried  that 
they  had  never  learned  to  read,  as  they  believed,  that 
all  learning  interfered  with  the  inspiration  of  the 
Spirit,  which  they  were  confident  that  they  possessed. 
While  this  notion  of  an  extraordinary  call  and  imme- 
diate inspiration  was  common,  it  is  not  surprising 
that  the  people  should  have  entertained  wild  opinions 
respecting  the  nature  of  conversion.  As  it  was  cus- 
tomary to  give  tlie  narratives  of  religious  experience 
in  public;  not  only  in  the  presence  of  the  church,  but 
of  a  promiscuous  assembly,  there  was  a  strong  temp- 
tation to  tell  an  extraordinary  story;  and  the  more 
miraculous  it  was,  the  higher  evidence  it  was  sup- 
posed to  afford  of  being  the  work  of  God;  concern- 
ing the  genuineness  of  which  the  subject  never  ex- 
pressed a  doubt.  Seldom  was  a  narrative  of  expe- 
rience heard,  which  did  not  contain  something  super- 
natural; such  as  a  remarkable  prophetic  dream;  an 
open  vision;  a  sudden  and  brilliant  light  sliining 
around,  as  in  the  case  of  Paul;  or  an  audible  voice, 
calling  them  by  name;  or  uttering  some  text  of  Scrip- 
ture; or  some  other  encouraging  words.  Sometimes, 
however,  the  cause  of  experimental  religion  was 
sadly  dishonoured  by  the  ludicrous  stories  of  poor 
ignorant  people — especially  the  unlettered  slaves;  for 
this  religions  concern  seized  upon  them  with  mighty 
force,  and  many  of  them,  I  doubt  not,  were  savingly 
converted. 

The  philosophy  of  dreams  is  very  little  understood: 
and  it  is  not  our  purpose  to  entertain,  or  perplex  the 
reader  with  any  theories  on  the  subject.  Dreams  have 
by  some  been  divided  into  natural,  divine,  and  dia- 
bolical. The  wise  man  says,  "  A  dream  cometh 
through  the  multitude  of  business."  Most  dreams 
are  undoubtedly  the  effect  of  the  previous  state  of 
the  mind,  and  of  the  peculiar  circumstances  and  state 
of  the  body,  at  the  time.     Most  persons  find  their 


104 


THOUGHTS    ON 


thoughts,  in  sleep,  occupied  with  those  things  which 
gave  them  concern  when  awake;  and  every  cause 
which  disorders  the  stomach  or  nerves,  gives  a  char- 
acter to  our  dreams.  Most  persons  have  expe- 
rienced the  distress  of  feverish  dreams.  But  there 
are  sometimes  remarlcable  dreams,  which  leave  on 
the  mind  the  strong  impression  that  they  have  a 
meaning,  and  portend  coming  events.  And  that  there 
have  been  dreams  of  this  description,  we  learn  from 
the  authority  of  the  Bible;  and  these  prophetic  dreams 
were  not  confined  to  the  servants  of  God,  as  we  learn 
from  the  instances  of  the  butler  and  baker,  in  the  pri- 
son of  Pharaoh,  and  from  the  remarkable  dream  of 
Pharaoh  himself.  All  these  must  have  proceeded 
from  some  supernatural  influence,  as,  when  inter- 
preted by  Joseph,  they  clearly  predicted  future  events, 
of  which  the  persons  dreaming  had  not  the  least  know- 
ledge. So,  Nebuchadnezzar's  dream,  contained  a  sym- 
bolical representation  of  future  events  of  great  impor- 
tance, which,  however,  neither  he  nor  his  wise  men 
understood,  but  which  was  intrepreted  by  Daniel,  by 
divine  inspiration.  Why  God  so  frequently  made  his 
communications  to  his  servants  by  dreams,  is  not 
easily  explained.  Perhaps,  the  mind  is  better  pre- 
pared for  such  revelations,  when  external  objects  are 
entirely  excluded;  or,  it  might  have  been  to  obviate 
that  terror  and  perturbation  to  which  all  men  were 
subject,  when  an  angel  or  spirit  appeared  to  them. 
Whether  God  ever  now  communicates  any  thing  by 
dreams  is  much  disputed.  Many,  no  doubt,  deceive 
themselves,  by  fancying  that  their  dreams  are  super- 
natural ;  and  some  have  been  sadly  deluded  by  trusting 
to  dreams;  and  certainly  people  ought  not  to  be  encour- 
aged to  look  for  revelations  in  dreams;  but  there  is 
nothing  inconsistent  with  reason  or  Scripture,  in  sup- 
posing that,  on  some  occasions,  certain  communica- 
tions, intended  for  the  warning  or  safety  of  the  indi- 
vidual himself,  or  of  others,  may  be  made  in  dreams. 
To  doubt  of  this,  is  to  run  counter  to  a  vast  body  of 
testimony  in  every  age.  And  if  ideas,  received  in 
dreams,  produce  a  salutary  effect,  in  rendering  the 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  105 

careless,   serious,   or   the    sorrowful   comfortable   in 
the   view  of  divine  truth,  very  well;   such  dreams 
may  be  considered  providential,  if  not  divine.     But 
if  any  are  led  by  dreams,  to  pursue  a  course  repug- 
nant to  the   dictates  of  common  sense    or   the   pre- 
cepts of  Scripture,  such  dreams  may  rightly  be  con- 
sidered  diabolical.      Some   persons   have    supposed 
that  they  experienced  a  change  of  mind  while  asleep. 
They  have  gone  to  rest  with  a  heart  unsubdued  and 
unconverted, and  their  first  waking  thoughts  have  been 
of  faith  and  love.     Some  have  sunk  to  sleep,  worn 
down  with  distress,  and  in  their  sleep  have  received 
comfort,  as  they  supposed,  from  a  believing  view  of 
Christ.     Such  changes  are  suspicious;  but  if  they  are 
proved  to  be  genuine  by  the  future  life  of  the  person, 
we  should  admit  the  possibility  of  God's  giving  a  new 
heart,  just  as  he  does  to  the  infant.     Or,  truth  may  be 
as  distinctly  impressed  on  persons'  minds  in  sleep,  as 
when  they  are  awake.     Some  persons  appear  to  have 
their  faculties  in  more  vigorous  exercise,  in  some  kinds 
of  sleep,  than  when  their  senses  are  all  exercised. 
The  Rev.  John  Fletcher,  vicar  of  Madely,  relates  that 
he  had  a  dream  of  the  judgment  day,  the  effect  of 
which  was  a  deep  and  abiding  impression  of  eternal 
things  on  his  mind.     As  the  scene  was  vividly  paint- 
ed on  his  imagination,  and  the  representation  of  truth 
was  as  distinct  and  coherent  as  if  he  had  been  awake, 
it  may  be  gratifying  to  the  reader  to  have  the  account 
of  it,  set  before  him.     He  had  been  variously  exer- 
cised about  religion  before  this.     "  I  was,"  says  he, 
''  in  this  situation,  when  a  dream,  in    which  I  am 
obliged  to  acknowledge  the  hand  of  God,  roused  me 
from  my  security.     On  a  sudden,  the  heavens  were 
darkened,  and  clouds  rolled  along  in  terrific  majesty, 
and  a  thundering  voice  like  a  trumpet,  which  pene- 
trated to  the  bowels  of  the  earth,  exclaimed,  '  arise 
ye  dead  and  come  out  of  your  graves.'     Instantly  the 
earth  and  the  sea  gave  up  the  dead  which  they  con- 
tained, and  the  universe  was  crowded   with   living 
people  who  appeared  to  come  out  of  their  graves  by 
millions.    But  what  a  difference  among  them  !    Some, 


108 


THOUGHTS    ON 


convulsed  with  despair,  endeavoured  in  vain  to  hide 
themselves  in  their  tombs,  and  cried  to  the  hills  to  fall 
on  them,  and  the  mountains  to  cover  them  from  the 
face  of  the  holy  Judge,  while  others  rose  with  seraphic 
wings  above  the  earth  which  had  been  the  theatre 
of  their  conflicts  and  their  victory.  Serenity  was 
painted  on  their  countenances,  joy  sparkled  in  their 
eyes,  and  dignity  was  impressed  on  every  feature. 
My  astonishment  and  terror  were  redoubled  when  I 
perceived  myself  raised  up  with  this  innumerable 
multitude  into  the  vast  regions  of  the  air,  from 
whence  my  affrighted  eyes  beheld  this  globe  con- 
sumed by  the  flames,  the  heavens  on  fire,  and  the 
dissolving  elements  ready  to  pass  away.  But  what 
did  I  feel,  when  I  beheld  the  Son  of  man  coming  in 
the  clouds  of  heaven,  in  all  the  splendour  of  his  glory, 
crowned  with  the  charms  of  his  mercy,  and  surround- 
ed with  the  terrors  of  his  justice;  ten  thousand  thou- 
sands went  before  him,  and  millions  pressed  upon  his 
footsteps.  All  nature  was  silent.  The  wicked  were 
condenmed,  and  the  sentence  was  pronounced — the 
air  gave  way  under  the  feet  of  those  who  surrounded 
me,  a  yawning  gulf  received  them  and  closed  upon 
them.  At  the  same  time  He  that  sat  upon  the  throne 
exclaimed,  '  Come  ye  blessed  of  my  Father,  inherit 
the  kingdom  prepared  for  you  from  the  foundation  of 
the  world.'  Happy  children  of  God,  I  cried,  'You 
are  exalted  in  triumph  with  your  Redeemer,'  and 
my  dazzled  eyes  will  soon  lose  sight  of  you,  in  the 
blaze  of  light  which  surrounds  you.  Wretch  that  I 
am,  what  words  can  express  the  horrors  of  my  situa- 
tion !  A  fixed  and  severe  look  from  the  Judge,  as  he 
departed,  pierced  me  to  the  heart,  and  my  anguish 
and  confusion  were  extreme,  when  a  brilliant  per- 
sonage despatched  from  the  celestial  host,  thus  ad- 
dressed me,  '  Slothful  servant,  what  dost  thou  here? 
Dost  thou  presume  to  follow  the  Son  of  God,  whom 
thou  hast  served  merely  with  thy  lips,  while  thy 
heart  was  far  from  him?  Show  me  the  seal  of  thy 
salvation  and  the  earnest  of  thy  redemption.  Exam- 
ine thy  heart,  and  see  if  thou  canst  discover  there  a 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  107 

real  love  to  God,  and  a  living  faith  in  his  Son?  Ask 
thy  conscience  what  were  the  motives  of  thy  pretend- 
ed good  works?  Dost  thou  not  see  that  pride  and 
self-love  were  the  source  of  them?  Dost  thou  not  see 
that  the  fear  of  hell  rather  than  the  fear  of  offending 
God,  restrained  thee  from  sin?'  After  these  words 
he  paused;  and  regarding  me  with  a  compassionate 
air,  seemed  to  await  my  reply.  But  conviction  and 
terror  closed  my  mouth,  and  he  thus  resumed  his 
discourse,  'Withhold  no  longer  from  God  the  glory 
which  is  due  him.  Turn  to  him  with  all  thy  heart, 
and  become  a  new  creature.  Watch  and  pray  was 
the  command  of  the  Son  of  God;  but  instead  of  hav- 
ing done  this  by  working  out  thy  salvation  with  fear 
and  trembling,  thou  hast  slept  the  sleep  of  security. 
At  this  very  moment  dost  thou  not  sleep  in  that  state 
of  lethargy  and  spiritual  death,  from  which  the  word 
of  God,  the  exhortations  of  his  servants,  and  the  striv- 
ings of  [lis  grace  have  not  been  sufficient  to  deliver 
thee?  Time  is  swallowed  up  in  eternity.  There  is 
no  more  place  for  repentance.  Thou  hast  obstinately 
refused  to  glorify  God's  mercy  in  Christ  Jesus — go 
then,  slothful  servant  and  glorify  his  justice.'  Hav- 
ing uttered  these  words  he  disappeared,  and,  at  the 
same  time,  the  air  gave  way  under  my  feet — the 
abyss  began  to  open — dreadful  wailings  assailed  my 
ears,  and  a  whirlwind  of  smoke  surrounded  me.  The 
agitation  of  my  mind  and  body  awoke  me,  the  horror 
of  which  nothing  can  equal,  and  the  mere  recollection 
of  which  still  makes  me  tremble.  0  how  happy  I 
felt  on  awaking  to  find  that  I  was  still  in  the  land  of 
mercy,  and  the  day  of  salvation !  0  my  God,  I  cried, 
grant  thfit  this  dream  may  continually  influence  my 
sentiments  and  my  conduct!  May  it  prove  a  power- 
ful stimulus  to  excite  me  to  prepare  continually  for 
the  coming  of  my  great  Master!" 

By  this  dream  Mr.  Fletcher  was  convinced  that  he 
had  been  indulging  vain  hopes,  and  that  his  mind 
was  still  unrenewed.  His  conviction  of  this  truth, 
however,  did  not  rest  entirely,  nor  chiefly  on  what 
had  been  told  him  in  his  dream,  but  he  now  set  to 


108  THOUGHTS    ON 

work  in  sober  earnest  to  examine  his  religious  princi- 
ples and  motives,  by  the  Scriptures;  and  the  more  he 
examined  the  more  fully  was  he  convinced  that  he 
was  yet  in  an  unconverted  state.  From  this  time 
he  began  with  all  earnestness  to  seek  for  justification 
through  the  blood  of  Christ;  and  never  rested  until  he 
found  peace  with  God  by  a  living  faith  in  the  truth 
and  promises  of  God. 

The  dream  of  John  Newton,  which  he  had  long 
before  his  conversion,  when  in  the  harbour  of  Ve- 
nice, is  probably  known  to  most  of  our  readers. — "  I 
thought,"  says  he,  "  that  it  was  night,  and  my  watch 
upon  the  deck — a  person  came  to  me  and  brought 
me  a  ring,  with  an  express  charge  to  keep  it  care- 
fully; assuring  me  that  while  I  preserved  that  ring, 
I  should  be  happy  and  successful;  but  if  I  lost  or 
parted  with  it,  I  must  expect  nothing  but  trouble  and 
misery.  I  accepted  the  present  and  the  terms  will- 
ingly, not  in  the  least  doubting  my  own  care  to  pre- 
serve it,  and  highly  gratified  to  have  my  happiness 
in  my  own  keeping.  I  was  engaged  in  these  thoughts, 
when  a  second  person  came  to  me  and  observing  the 
ring  on  my  finger,  he  took  occasion  to  ask  me  some 
questions  concerning  it.  I  readily  told  him  its  vir- 
tues, and  his  answer  expressed  a  surprise  at  my 
weakness,  in  expecting  such  effects  from  a  ring.  I 
think  he  reasoned  with  me  sometime  on  the  impos- 
sibility of  the  thing;  and  at  length  urged  me  in  direct 
terms  to  throw  it  away.  At  first,  I  was  shocked  at 
the  proposal;  but  his  insinuations  prevailed.  I  began 
to  reason  and  doubt,  and  at  last  plucked  it  off  my 
finger,  and  dropped  it  over  the  ship's  side  into  the 
water,  which  it  had  no  sooner  touched,  than  I  saw, 
at  the  same  instant,  a  terrible  fire  burst  out  from  a 
range  of  mountains  (the  Alps)  which  appeared  at 
some  distance  behind  the  city  of  Venice.  I  saw  the 
hills  as  distinct  as  if  awake,  and  that  they  were  all  in 
flames.  I  perceived  too  late  my  folly,  and  my  tempter, 
with  an  air  of  insult,  informed  me  that  all  the  mercy 
God  had  in  reserve  for  me  was  comprised  in  the  ring 
which  I  had  wilfully  thrown  away.     I  trembled  and 


RELIGIOUS     EXPERIENCE.  109 

was  in  great  agony,  and  stood  self-condemned,  wiien 
a  third  person,  or  the  same  who  gave  me  the  ring, 
came  to  me  and  demanded  the  cause  of  my  grief. 
He  blamed  my  rashness,  and  asked  me  if  I  thought 
I  should  be  wiser,  if  I  had  my  ring  again.  I  could 
hardly  answer,  but  thought  it  gone  beyond  control. 
He  went  down  under  the  water,  and  soon  returned, 
bringing  the  ring  with  him — the  moment  he  came  on 
board,  the  flames  were  extinguished.  I  approached 
to  receive  the  ring,  but  he  refused  to  restore  it,  say- 
ing '  If  you  should  receive  this  ring  again,  you  would 
soon  bring  yourself  into  the  same  distress — you  are 
not  able  to  keep  it;  but  I  will  preserve  it  for  you, 
and  whenever  it  is  needful  will  produce  it  in  your 
behalf  Upon  this  I  awoke  in  a  state  of  mind  not  to 
be  described.  I  could  hardly  eat  or  sleep  or  transact 
necessary  business  for  two  or  three  days,  but  the  im- 
pression soon  wore  off,  and  in  a  little  time  I  totally 
forgot  it,  and  I  think  it  hardly  occurred  to  my  mind 
till  several  years  afterwards." 

I  will  conclude  this  unsubstantial  discussion  by 
citing  the  words  of  that  remarkable  young  sage  of 
remote  antiquity,  Elihu,  the  reprover  of  both  Job 
and  his  friend,  and  the  sublime  defender  of  God  and 
his  dispensations.  "  For  God  speaketh  once,  yea 
twice,  yet  man  perceiveth  it  not.  In  a  dream,  in  a 
vision  of  the  night,  when  deep  sleep  falleth  upon 
men,  in  slumberings  upon  the  bed.  Then  heopeneth 
the  ears  of  men  and  sealeth  their  instruction." 

Sometime  in  the  year  1811,  as  well  as  he  remem- 
bers, the  substance  of  the  following  narrative  was 
put  into  the  hands  of  the  writer,  by  the  Rev.  Dr.  Wil- 
liam M.  Tennent,  of  Abington,  Pennsylvania,  when 
this  excellent  man  was  on  his  death-bed,  and  near 
his  end.  It  will  be  seen  that  it  was  drawn  up  with 
a  view  to  publication  as  soon  as  the  subject  of  the 
memoir,  who  was  then  alive  in  Dr.  Tennent's  con- 
gregation, should  be  called  home  to  his  rest.  That 
event  occurred  some  time  since;  and  in  communica- 
ting this  memoir  to  the  public,  the  writer  considers 

8 


110  THOUGHTS    ON 

himself  as  fulfilling  an  implied  promise,  when  he  ac- 
cepted the  manuscript. 

Having,  however,  ascertained  that  Mrs.  Ann  Snow- 
den,  of  Philadelphia,  was  the  lady  at  whose  house 
this  gentleman  resided,  and  that  she  was  the  person 
by  whom  the  Scriptures  were  read;  and  knowing, 
also,  that  she  was  both  pious  and  intelligent,  the  wri- 
ter requested  her  to  put  down  on  paper  an  exact  ac- 
count of  this  pleasing  and  remarkable  event;  which 
she  did  with  the  utnjost  readiness.  From  these  au- 
thentic sources,  the  following  narrative  is  derived; 
and  will  be  given  with  very  slight  verbal  alterations, 
in  the  very  words  of  the  respected  persons  named. 

Dr.  Tennent's  memoir  is  prefaced  by  the  following 
words: 

"  Unfinished  memoir  of  George  Inglis,  who  has 
been  a  member  of  the  Presbyterian  church  in  Abing- 
ton  from  1790  till  the  present  time,  1810.  It  is  ex- 
pected, that  some  fit  person  into  whose  hand  these 
sketches  of  his  character  may  fall,  will,  after  his  de- 
cease, prepare  them  for  the  press;  as  it  is  hoped  the 
Church  of  Christ  may  derive  some  advantage  from 
them." 

The  narrative  then  proceeds  as  follows:  "  George 
Inglis  was  born  in  the  city  of  Philadelphia,  A.  D. 
of  honourable  parentage,  and  received  a  lib- 
eral education  in  the  university  of  that  city,  vviiich 
was  completed  between  his  16th  and  17th  year. 
Having  served  a  regular  apprenticeship  to  a  mer- 
chant, he  entered  into  the  mercantile  business,  and 
settled  in  the  island  of  Jamaica,  where  he  continued 
about  eleven  years.  Very  early  in  life  he  begun  to 
drink  in  iniquity  like  water,  discovered  strong  pre- 
judices against  serious  persons  and  serious  things; 
associated  with  the  gay,  libertine,  and  dissipated; 
never  read  the  Scriptures  except  so  much  of  them  as 
enabled  him  to  construe  his  Greek  lessons,  whilst  in 
college.  His  propensities  to  sinful  indulgences  in- 
creased with  his  years,  and  in  the  island  where  he 
resided,  temptations  being  increased,  and  the  means 
of  restraint  from  vicious  courses  diminished,  he  be- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  Ill 

came  more  and  more  confirmed  in  tlie  habits  of  sin, 
until  at  length  he  was  given  np  to  almost  every  spe- 
cies of  iniquity.  Amidst  his  open  and  avowed  en- 
mity to  God  and  religion,  at  the  close  of  the  afore 
mentioned  period,  an  awful  tornado  fell  upon  that 
part  of  the  island  where  he  resided,  by  which  he  lost 
the  greater  part  of  his  property,  and  was  compelled 
to  return  to  the  continent.  Tliis  happened  during 
the  revolutionary  war.  All  this  made  no  alteration 
in  his  morals  for  the  better;  but  the  more  he  was 
corrected,  the  more  hardened  he  grew;  casting  off 
the  fear  of  God,  and  putting  to  defiance  the  scourges 
of  Jehovah.  Thus  he  continued  till  some  years  after- 
wards. Being  in  the  town  of  Manchester,  Virginia, 
without  any  natural  (known)  cause,  to  produce  the 
effect,  he  was  smitten  by  the  immediate  hand  of  God, 
whilst  in  the  possession  of  good  health,  with  tlie  total 
loss  of  sight  within  a  {e\v  days.  In  this  situation  his 
mind  was  all  distraction.  His  cry  was  to  man  only 
for  help;  but  to  God  his  Maker,  who  giveth  songs  in 
the  night  to  the  afflicted  and  oppressed,  lie  had  not 
learned  to  cry.  This  lesson,  however,  he  was  taught 
not  long  afterwards." 

Thus  far  the  narrative  has  been  given  in  the  words 
of  Dr.  Tennent;  it  will  now  be  proper  to  hear  Mrs. 
Snowden's  account  of  the  conversion  of  this  man,  as 
she  was  the  only  human  instrument  made  use  of  in 
bringing  him  to  the  knowledge  of  the  truth.  It  is  in 
the  form  of  a  letter  addressed  to  the  writer. 

"  Rev.  and  Dear  Sir — I  will  now  endeavour  to  fulfil 
the  promise  made  to  you  some  time  ago,  by  giving 
such  information  as  is  within  my  recollection,  respect- 
ing the  case  of  Mr.  George  Inglis.  That  gentleman, 
a  native  of  Philadelphia,  had  received  a  classical 
education,  and  with  it  every  indulgence  which  a 
father's  partiality  could  bestow.  Brought  up  in  the 
gay  world,  it  is  to  be  feared  there  was  but  little  atten- 
tion paid  to  his  immortal  interests.  After  spending 
the  time  necessary  to  acquire  the  knowledge  of  mer- 
cantile affairs,  he  left  the  city  for  the  West  Indies, 
where  he   was,  for  a  while,  successful  in  business, 


112  THOUGHTS    ON 

and  found  himself  in  circumstances  to  visit  England; 
and,  while  in  London,  throwing  aside  every  restraint, 
he  indulged  liimself  in  all  the  amusements  atid  levi- 
ties of  tliat  gay  metropolis.  Returning  to  America, 
he  engaged  in  business  in  the  state  of  Virginia. 
After  residing  some  time  there,  it  pleased  the  Lord 
to  deprive  him  of  his  sight;  an  affliction  at  that  time 
looked  upon  by  him  as  insupportable,  for  he  saw  not 
the  hand  from  whence  it  came,  but  after  lie  was 
made  sensible  that  he  was  a  brand  snatched  from  the 
burning,  often  have  I  heard  him  bless  the  chastise- 
ment as  that  of  a  tender  Father. 

"  Mr.  Inglis  had  weak  eyes  from  an  early  age,  but 
his  blindness  came  on  him  suddenly.  Finding  no  re- 
lief from  the  physicians  where  he  resided,  he  left 
Virginia  for  Philadelphia;  and  upon  the  application 
of  his  friends,  was  received,  with  his  servant,  into  my 
house,  as  a  boarder.  I  found  him  a  man  of  strong 
passions,  impatient  under  sufferings,  and  not  willing 
to  submit  to  restraints  of  any  kind.  When  the  phy- 
sicians of  the  city  were  consulted,  they  gave  his 
friends  no  hope  of  the  recovery  of  his  eyesight:  him 
they  soothed  with  the  promise  of  a  further  considera- 
tion of  his  case.  A  few  weeks  after  he  came  to  my 
house,  a  gentleman,  very  much  celebrated  as  an 
oculist,  came  to  the  city.  Mr.  Inglis  applied  to  him 
for  advice.  He  did  not  tell  him  that  his  was  an  incura- 
ble case,  but  said  that  he  would  see  him  again.  He 
bore  this  very  impatiently,  observing  to  me  that  life 
was  now  becoming  an  intolerable  burden;  but  that  he 
had  this  consolation,  that  he  had  it  in  his  power  at 
any  time  to  lay  it  down.  It  was  but  to  increase  the 
quantity  of  opium  (he  was  in  the  habit  of  taking 
opium)  and  all  his  sufferings  would  be  at  an  end; 
and  that,  after  seeing  the  doctor  once  more,  if  he 
found  there  was  no  hope  of  his  recovering  his  sight, 
he  would  certainly  take  that  method  of  putting  an 
end  to  his  existence.  I  remonstrated  with  him  on  the 
impropriety  of  his  behaviour;  alleging,  that  he  had 
no  more  right  to  take  away  his  own  life,  than  he  had 
to  take  away  the  life  of  his  neighbour;  asking  him  if 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


113 


he  had  considered  the  consequences  of  rushing  un- 
called into  the  presence  of  his  Maker.  His  answer 
was,  that  he  had  considered  it  well;  and  advocated 
his  opinion  on  this  principle,  that  he  was  by  a 
merciful  Creator  placed  on  this  earth  to  enjoy  the 
good  things  of  this  life  as  far  as  it  was  in  his 
power  honestly  to  obtain  them.  That  the  duties  re- 
quired of  him  were,  to  be  as  useful  to  his  friends  in 
particular,  and  society  at  large,  as  his  circumstances 
would  admit  of — that  having  lost  his  sight,  he  should 
no  longer  enjoy  any  happiness  here,  would  become  a 
burden  to  his  friends,  and  could  be  of  no  use  in  the 
world.  He  alleged,  that  the  purposes  for  which  life 
v/as  given  to  him  were  now  defeated;  of  course  there 
would  be  no  impropriety  in  laying  it  down.  I  made 
some  remarks  on  what  he  had  advanced  as  his  senti- 
ments, and  to  strengthen  what  I  said,  quoted  some 
passages  of  Scripture.  These  he  treated  in  a  very 
light  manner — spoke  of  the  Bible  as  the  work  of  a 
man,  contrived  to  keep  the  vulgar  in  awe — with 
many  other  observations  too  common  with  men  of 
deistical  principles.  I  then  inquired  if  he  had  ever 
read  the  Bible;  he  frankly  acknowledged  that  he  had 
not  since  he  left  school.  Upon  asking  him  if  he  had 
not  read  the  works  of  those  that  were  opposed  to  the 
Scriptures,  he  admitted  that  he  had.  If  so,  I  observed, 
he  must  have  formed  his  opinions  from  the  avowed 
enemies  of  that  sacred  book.  Was  this  a  fair  method 
of  proceeding?  Was  it  just?  That  I  thought  he 
would  not  act  thus,  on  any  other  occasion.  This  book 
you  acknowledge  you  have  not  read  since  you  were 
a,  boy.  All  that  you  know  about  it,  you  have 
from  the  enemies  of  the  Christian  religion.  Taking 
these  things  into  consideration,  I  hope  you  will  no 
more  speak  against  the  Bible,  as  it  is  a  book  that  you 
have  never  read  since  you  were  capable  of  forming  a 
judgment  of  its  contents.  He  apologized  for  what  he 
had  said,  in  a  handsome  manner,  acknowledged  that 
he  was  wrong  in  speaking  as  he  had  done,  and  ex- 
pressed a  wish  to  have  it  read  to  him.  This  I  de- 
clined, and  gave  my  reasons  for  so  doing,  which  were, 


114  THOUGHTS    ON 

that  a  man  so  prejudiced,  as  he  appeared  to  be,  was 
not  hkely  to  profit  by  the  reading  of  the  Bible;  that 
he  would  most  probably  cavil  at,  and  perhaps  ridicule 
it;  in  so  doing,  he  would  wound  my  feelings  without 
benefitting  himself;  for  I  considered  it  as  the  word  of 
God;  and  my  hopes  of  eternal  salvation  rested  on 
the  truths  contained  in  it.  He  then  assured  me  on 
the  word  of  a  gentleman,  that  if  I  would  read  to  him, 
whatever  his  opinions  might  be,  he  would  carefully 
avoid  saying  any  thing  that  might  have  a  tendency 
to  wound  my  feelings,  or  give  offence,  in  the  smallest 
degree.  There  was  an  earnestness  in  his  manner  of 
addressing  ^e  which  satisfied  my  mind,  that  he  was 
•sincerely  desirous  to  have  the  Scriptures  read  to  him; 
and  the  next  day  was  fixed  upon  for  that  purpose.  It 
appeared  to  me  that  he  waited  impatiently  for  the 
arrival  of  the  appointed  hour,  for,  no  sooner  did  the 
time  come,  than  he  sent  for  me.  Before  we  began, 
I  observed  to  him,  that  as  in  the  New  Testament  he 
would  find  the  fulfilment  of  the  promises  of  the  Sa- 
viour, I  v/ould  point  out  those  promises  as  they  should 
occur  in  reading  the  Old  Testament;  and  which  it 
would  be  necessary  for  him  to  take  notice  of  as  we 
proceeded.  Beginning  then  with  the  first  chapter  of 
Genesis,  before  we  had  gone  through  the  chapter,  he 
stopped  me  to  express  his  admiration  of  the  language. 
'  It  was  sublime  beyond  any  thing  he  had  ever  read.' 
While  I  was  reading,  he  was  all  attention;  and  when 
the  time  arrived  when  I  was  under  the  necessity  of 
leaving  oft',  it  was  with  regret  that  he  observed  that  I 
had  finished;  putting  me  in  mind,  at  the  same  time, 
of  my  promise  to  attend  to  him,  on  the  next  day.  I 
think  it  was  on  the  second  day  of  my  reading  to  him, 
that  he  cried  out,  '  What  a  wretch  am  I  to  have 
spoken  against  such  a  book!  a  book  that  I  knew  no- 
thing of,  having  never  given  it  an  attentive  perusal.' 
I  went  on  for  a  few  days,  reading  to  him  according 
to  the  plan  laid  down,  which  was  one  hour  every 
day;  when  the  distress  of  his  mind  greatly  increased. 
There  was  now  no  more  said  about  a  second  visit  to 
the  doctor — no  complaints — no  murmurings,  on  ac- 


EELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  115 

count  of  tlie  loss  of  sight.  He  now  saw  the  hand  of 
God  in  the  dispensation  of  his  providence,  and  would 
acknowledge  that  it  was  less,  far  less,  than  he  de- 
served. My  farnilj''  duties  preventing  me  from  being 
with  him  as  much  as  I  wished,  I  now  called  in  the 
aid  of  some  of  my  religious  friends,  among  whom 
was  Mr.  Joseph  Easlburn,  to  converse  with  him  and 
to  assist  in  reading  to  him.  Several  religious  books 
were  now  occasionally  read  to  him,  among  which 
were  Boston's  Fourfold  State,  Newton's  Works,  Her- 
vey's  Dialogues,  &c.  The  descriptive  parts  of  the  last 
mentioned  author,  were  at  his  request  passed  over, 
except  where  it  more  fully  served  to  explain  the  doc- 
trines of  free  grace — a  subject  to  him  of  the  deepest 
interest.  Though  totally  deprived  of  sight,  and  unac- 
customed to  go  out,  he  now  neglected  no  opportunity 
of  hearing  the  word  of  God;  attending  sermons  on 
Sabbaths,  and  weekly  societies  as  often  as  was  in  his 
power.  As  might  be  expected,  his  natural  disposition, 
sometimes  getting  the  better  of  the  good  resolutions 
he  had  formed,  would  betray  him  into  a  fretfulness 
that  was  troublesome  to  his  friends,  and  occasioned 
much  uneasiness  to  himself.  On  such  occasions  I 
have  heard  him  lament  deeply  over  his  sinful  nature, 
accusing  himself  of  ingratitude  to  that  God  wlio  had 
mercifully  stopped  him  in  his  career  of  vice,  by  de- 
priving him  of  the  light  of  day,  and  enlightening  his 
darkened  mind,  and  had  enabled  him  to  understand 
the  truths  contained  in  his  blessed  word.  I  do  not 
recollect  how  long  he  staid  with  me,  but  it  was  some- 
thing less  than  a  year,  when  his  friends  thought  it 
would  be  best  to  remove  him  to  the  country:  and 
boarding  was  obtained  for  him  in  the  neighbourhood 
of  the  Rev,  Dr.  Tennent,  of  Abington." 

Dr.  Tennent,  in  the  memoir  already  quoted,  after 
mentioning  some  circumstances  which  have  been 
given  in  detail  in  the  former  number,  goes  on  to  say, 
"  It  pleased  God,  by  these  means  to  bring  him  to  very 
serious  and  deep  impressions  of  his  moral  character, 
and  to  constrain  him,  after  some  time,  to  attempt  to 
pray.     This  [change]  was  effected  in  the  gentleness, 


116  THOUGHTS    ON 

kindness,  and  tenderness  of  infinite  mercy,  and  with- 
out those  liorrors  which  often  precede  the  conversion 
of  high-handed  and  daring  sinners.  In  his  case,  all 
was  mercy,  without  extraordinary  terror.  He  was 
embraced  in  the  arms  of  redeeming  love,  and  deli- 
vered from  the  fiery  pit  without  beholding  its  awful 
flames.  In  his  first  attempt  to  supplicate  the  Deity, 
he  was  principally  affected  with  a  sense  of  the  baseness 
of  his  conduct,  and  vile  ingratitude  for  the  mercies 
bestowed,  and  this  exercise  was  accompanied  with  an 
involuntary  flow  of  tears,  and  a  desire  to  call  God 
his  Father,  and  afterwards  to  mention  the  blessed 
name  of  Jesus,  the  Saviour.  Probably,  this  was  the 
beginning  of  his  new  birth,  and  the  hour  of  his  con- 
version; which  was  not  long  afterwards  confirmed 
by  a  remarkable  vision  of  two  books,  with  a  glorious 
light  shining  in  the  midst  of  them,  as  he  was  lying  in 
his  bed;  whicli  he  apprehended  to  be  the  Old  and 
New  Testaments  of  the  living  God,  presenting  to,  and 
impressing  on  his  mind  this  sacred  declaration,  but 
without  a  voice,  "  This  is  the  way,"  and  filling 
his  soul  at  the  same  time,  with  inexpressible  joy." 

What  is  here  related,  is  no  doubt  strictly  true,  but 
there  is  no  propriety  in  calling  it  "  a  vision,"  since  it 
can  easily  be  accounted  for  by  a  vivid  impression  on 
the  imagination.  A  vision  is  something  supernatural 
seen  with  the  bodily  eyes ;  but  this  man  was  totally 
blind;  the  objects  so  clearly  discerned  must  then  have 
been  from  impressions  on  the  imagination.  But  in 
saying  this,  it  is  not  intended  to  deny  that  the  cause 
was  the  Spirit  of  God.  This  divine  agent  can,  and 
does  produce  vivid  impressions  on  the  imagination, 
which  have  so  much  the  appearance  of  external  re- 
alities, that  many  are  ])ersuaded  that  they  do  see  and 
hear  what  takes  place  only  in  their  own  minds. 

"In  the  year  1790,  Mr.  Inglis  was  removed  to 
Abington,  and  became  a  boarder  in  the  house  of  the 
Rev.  William  M.  Tennent,  and  soon  afterwards  was 
admitted  to  the  communion  of  the  church,  in  that 
place,  with  which  he  hath  walked  steadfastly  in  the 
faith  ever  since;  exemplifying  in  a  striking  and  high 


KELICIOUS   EXPERIENCE.  1  17 

degree  the  power  of  God's  grace  to  the  '  new  creation/ 
From  the  beginning  of  his  turn  to  God,  there  was 
abundant  proof  that  'old  things  had  passed  away  and 
that  all  things  had  become  new.'  Before  a  blas- 
phemer, but  now  a  worshipper  of  the  true  God. 
Before,  a  drunkard,  and  a  Sabbath-breaker,  unclean, 
a  ridiculer  of  holy  things,  and  indulgent  habitually  in 
all  ungodliness  and  wickedness — led  captive  by  the 
prince  of  the  power  of  the  air,  who  ruleth  in  the 
children  of  disobedience,  but  now,  freed  from  his 
bonds  and  made  by  sovereign  grace  to  rejoice  in  the 
liberty  of  the  gospel.  Before,  a  hater  of  good  men 
and  good  things,  but  now  a  lover  of  both.  He  was 
made  to  hunger  and  thnst  after  righteousness — after 
the  bread  of  life — after  the  knowledge  of  His  will;  and 
seemed  only  to  be  happy  when  he  had  a  glimpse  of 
his  glory.  For  more  than  a  year  after  his  conversion, 
he  could  not  bear  to  hear  any  other  book  read  to 
him  than  the  Holy  Scriptures;  and  the  most  practical 
authors  on  religion.  He  shunned  all  political  conver- 
sation, the  reading  of  newspapers,  and  whatever  might 
divert  his  thoughts  from  holy  meditations  and  a  fur- 
ther knowledge  of  his  Redeemer. 

"  Whilst  residing  in  his  first  permanent  lodgings 
in  the  country,  it  may  not  be  improper  to  mention  a 
second  remarkable  vision  which  he  had.  Walking  in 
the  garden  one  day,  as  he  usually  did  for  sacred  me- 
ditation, he  was  suddenly  arrested  and  overcome  with 
a  most  affecting  view  of  his  Saviour,  as  suspended 
on  the  cross,  and  bearing  his  very  sins.  In  this  ^ 
vision  of  redeeming  love  he  was  so  lost  that  he  knew 
not  where  he  was — overwhelmed  with  unutterable 
joy,  and  the  most  affecting  gratitude  for  the  discharge 
of  the  immense  debt  which  he  owed  to  the  justice  of 
a  holy  God.  The  impressions  then  made  are  still 
kept  in  strong  remembrance.  How  long  he  was  in 
this  state  he  knew  not,  but  was  finally  conducted  to 
the  house,  after  having  called  for  a  guide— full  of  joy 
and  gladness:  a  second  remarkable  proof  of  his  inte- 
rest in  gospel  redemption." 

We  will  simply  repeat  our  objection  to  the  use  of 


118 


THOUGHTS    ON 


the  word  "vision'^  to  represent  what  was  nothing 
more  than  a  strong,  beUeving  view  of  the  scene  of  the 
crucifixion,  accompanied,  no  doubt,  with  a  vivid  ima- 
gination of  tiie  bleeding,  dying  Saviour,  suffering  for 
his  sins. 

"The  writer  will  only  add,  that  he  has  frequently, 
within  the  term  of  twenty  years,  heard  Mr.  Inglis 
say,  he  would  not  if  it  had  been  within  the  power  of 
a  wish,  have  had  his  natural  sight  restored,  having 
found  his  eyes  such  an  avenue  to  sin.  His  whole 
conduct,  since  his  conversion  has  corresponded  with 
his  profession  as  a  Christian  disciple.  He  has,  in  the 
view  of  his  brethren  where  he  resides,  made  a  visible 
growth  in  grace,  even  in  the  knowledge  of  our  Lord 
and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ.  He  has,  with  others 
travelling  to  the  same  blessed  country,  been  on  the 
mount  and  in  the  valley  —an  humble,  meek,  patient, 
self-denying  Christian,  rejoicing  in  the  hopes  of  a 
better  country — weeping  on  account  of  his  own  un- 
fruitfulness — looking  for  strength  to  vanquish  his 
enemies,  and  hoping  for  victory  by  the  merits  of  the 
great  Redeemer.  Hitherto  steadfast,  may  he  hold 
fast  unto  the  end!  and  may  many  such  be  added  unto 
the  Lord!  Blessed  be  God  for  the  gift  of  his  Son, 
for  the  revelation  of  his  incomprehensible  love  and 
grace,  and  for  the  crown  of  glory  which  is  laid  up  for 
all  who  are  looking  and  longing  for  his  second  ap- 
pearance!" 

The  foregoing  account  was  written  about  thirty 
years  ago,  and  Mr.  Inglis,  who  was  then  in  years,  did 
not  depart  this  life  until  two  or  three  years  since. 
As  the  Rev.  Robert  Steel  succeeded  Dr.  Tennent,  as 
pastor  of  the  Presbyterian  church  at  Abington,  I  re- 
quested him  to  give  me  notice  of  the  old  gentleman's 
death,  with  an  account  of  his  state  of  mind  in  his  latter 
days.  This  he  did,  and  I  regret  that  I  have  mislaid 
his  letter,  so  that  I  cannot  at  present  put  my  hands  on 
it.  But  I  confess  that  I  was  much  disappointed  in 
not  finding  something  more  memorable  in  the  closing 
scene  of  one  who  had  been  so  manifestly  snatched 
"  as  a  brand  from  the  burning."     As  well  as  I  recol- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIKNCE.  119 

lect,  Mr.  Steel  represents  that  the  spirituaHty  and 
ardour  of  Mr.  Inghs's  rehgion  considerably  dechned 
in  his  latter  years;  that  he  became  somewhat  worldly 
minded,  and  appeared  to  be  too  ranch  concerned  about 
his  little  property;  and  that  he  had  nothing  remarka- 
ble in  the  exercises  of  his  mind,  while  on  his  death- 
bed; but  no  one,  I  believe,  ever  doubted  the  reality 
of  the  change  which  he  had  experienced:  neither  was 
he  ever  left  to  do  any  thing  to  bring  discredit  on  the 
profession  which  he  had  made. 

One  reflection  which  occurred  to  me  on  reading 
Mr,  Steel's  letter  was,  that  it  is  not  desirable  for  a 
Christian  to  live  to  be  very  old;  especially  when  all 
active  service  in  the  cause  of  Christ  is  precluded. 
Old  age  is  a  peculiarly  unfavourable  season  for  growth 
in  grace.  Many  of  the  natural  auxiliaries  to  piety 
are  ilien  removed;  and  at  the  same  time,  many  in- 
firmities cluster  around  us;  so  that  a  declension  in 
religion  is  not  uncommon  in  the  protracted  years  of 
the  aged. 

Another  solemn  reflection  was,  that  a  man  is  never 
too  old  nor  too  decrepit  to  be  covetous.  Covetousness 
is  peculiarly  the  vice  of  the  aged,  and  when  indulged, 
strikes  its  roots  deeper,  the  older  we  grow.  What 
Christ  says  to  all,  may  with  emphasis  be  addressed 
to  the  aged,  "  Take  heed,  and  beware  of  covetous- 
ness." The  writer  remembers  to  have  seen  and  con- 
versed with  the  old  gentleman  in  the  church  at 
Abington,  soon  after  Dr.  Tennent's  death.  At  that 
time  he  was  always  in  his  place  in  the  house  of  God, 
and  attracted  attention  by  his  venerable  and  solemn 
appearance.  It  was  agreed  that  his  taste  and  judg- 
ment in  regard  to  preaching  were  uncommonly  sound 
and  good;  but  nothing  would  pass  with  him  in  which 
Christ  was  not  made  conspicuous.  Purely  evange- 
lical preaching  was  that  in -which  he  delighted;  and 
at  that  period,  his  conversation  was  in  a  strain  of 
warm  and  pious  feeling. 

My  closing  remark  is,  that  we  should  despair  of 
the  conversion  of  no  one;  and  we  should  use  all  our 
eff'orts  to  prevail  on  skeptical  men  to  read  the  Bible. 


120 


THOUGHTS    ON 


The  Bible  has  converted  more  infidels  than  all  the 
books  of  "  evidences"  which  exist. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

Religious  Conversation. — Stress  laid  by  some  on  the  knowledge  of  the 
time  and  place  of  Conversion. — Religious  experience  of  Halybur- 
ton. 

It  is  often  a  question  among  serious  people,  whether 
every  person,  who  is  a  real  Christian,  knows  not  only 
that  he  is  snch,  but  the  time  and  place  of  his  conver- 
sion. This  subject  has  already  been  partially  dis- 
cussed in  these  essays,  but  demands  a  more  particular 
and  extended  consideration. 

It  is  well  known  to  all,  that  the  Christian  denomi- 
nations, which  exist  in  this  country,  differ  from  one 
another  in  their  views  of  various  doctrines  and  rites 
of  religion;  but  the  fact  is  not  so  well  known,  that 
the  religious  experience  of  the  individuals  of  the  seve- 
ral denominations  is  as  various  as  their  doctrines  and 
external  forms  of  worship.  To  those  who  view  these 
things  at  a  distance,  and  superficially,  all  religious 
people  appear  alike;  and  many,  when  they  hear  of  a 
number  converted,  take  it  for  granted  that  they  have 
all  passed  through  the  same  train  of  exercises,  to 
whatever  sect  they  belong.  There  are  some  serious 
people,  well  indoctrinated  in  the  Scriptures,  who, 
while  they  hold  a  sound  theory  respecting  the  nature 
of  regeneration,  never  speak  of  their  own  religious 
exercises;  believing  that  such  exposures  are  not  for 
edification,  as  they  tend  to  foster  spiritual  pride  and 
vain  glory,  and  afford  a  temptation  to  hypocrisy, 
which  is  commonly  too  strong  for  the  deceitful  heart. 
Among  such  professors,  you  hear  nothing  of  convic- 
tion and  conversion;  and  when  any  of  this  class  fall 
into  a  distressing  case  of  conscience  which  urges  them 
to  seek  spiritual  counsel,  they  always  propose  the 
case  in  the  third  person.  They  will  talk  to  you  by 
the  hour  and  the  day,  about  the  doctrines  of  religion, 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  121 

and  show  that  they  are  more  conversant  with  their 
Bibles,  than  many  who  talk  much  of  their  religious 
feelings.  There  are  two  objections  to  this  practice. 
The  first  is,  that  it  has  the  effect  of  keeping  out  of 
view  the  necessity  of  a  change  of  heart.  The  second 
is,  that  it  is  a  neglect  of  one  effectual  means  of  grace. 
Religious  conversation,  in  which  Christians  freely  tell 
of  the  dealings  of  God  with  their  own  souls,  has  been 
often  a  powerful  means  of  quickening  the  sluggish 
soul,  and  communicating  comfort.  It  is  in  many 
cases,  a  great  consolation  to  the  desponding  believer, 
to  know  that  his  case  is  not  entirely  singular;  and  if 
a  traveller  can  meet  with  one  who  has  been  over  the 
difficult  parts  of  the  road  before  him,  he  may  surely 
derive  from  his  experience  some  solitary  counsel  and 
warning.  The  Scriptures  are  favourable  to  such 
communications.  "Come  and  hear,"  says  David, 
"  all  ye  that  fear  God,  and  I  will  declare  what  he  hath 
done  for  my  soul."  "  Then  they  that  feared  the  Lord 
spake  often  one  to  another,  and  the  Lord  hearkened 
and  heard  it,  and  a  book  of  remembrance  was  writ- 
ten before  him  for  them  that  feared  the  Lord,  and 
that  thought  upon  his  name."  Paul  seldom  makes  a 
speech  or  writes  a  letter,  in  which  he  does  not  freely 
speak  of  his  own  religious  joys  and  sorrows,  hopes 
and  fears.  There  is,  no  doubt,  an  abuse  of  this  means 
of  grace,  as  of  others;  but  this  is  no  argument  against 
its  legitimate  use,  but  only  teaches  that  prudence 
should  govern  such  religious  intercourse.  The  oppo- 
site extreme  is  not  uncommon  in  some  denominations; 
as  where  professors  are  publicly  called  upon,  and 
that  periodically,  for  their  experience;  or  where, 
when  professors  are  met,  it  is  agreed  that  every  one^ 
in  turn,  shall  give  a  narrative  of  his  or  her  experience, 
in  religion.  Such  practices  are  not  for  edification.' 
There  are,  however,  cases  in  which  it  may  be  ( xpe- 
dient— it  may  be  delightful— for  a  few  select  friends 
to  enter  into  a  full  detail  of  the  dealings  of  God  with 
their  souls,  respectiveljr.  The  writer,  in  another 
place,  published  an  account  of  such  a  conference  in 
Holland,  which  he  received  from  the  late   Rev.  Dr. 


122  THOUGHTS    ON  ^ 

Livingston,  of  New  Brunswick.  A  company  of  pious 
friends  liaving  met  for  religious  conversation,  the  sub- 
ject which  came  up  was  the  striking  similarity  of  the 
experience  of  God's  people  in  all  ages,  and  in  all 
countries;  when  some  one  observed,  that  there  were 
present,  four  persons  from  the  four  quarters  of  the 
world,  respectively,  and  who  had  embraced  religion 
in  their  native  country.  One  was  from  the  Dutch  set- 
tlements in  the  East  Indies,  a  second  from  the  Cape 
of  Good  Hope,  the  third  a  young  nobleman  of  Hol- 
land, and  the  fourth  Dr.  Livingston  himself,  from  the 
United  States  of  America.  It  was  then  proposed  as 
an  illustration  of  the  subject  of  conversation,  that  each 
should  give  a  narrative  of  his  Christian  experience. 
The  company  in  attendance  expressed  the  highest 
gratification,  and  were  no  doubt  greatly  edified.     It 

ills  much  to  be  lamented,  that  many  persons  who  are 
j  fond  of  religious  conversation,  deal  so  much  in  cant 
I  phrases,  and  assume  an  air  so  affected  and  sanctimo- 
I  nious.  This  is  the  thing  which  disgusts  grave  and 
intelligent  Christians;  and  often  occasions  the  wicked 
to  ridicule  or  blaspheme.  "  Let  not  your  good  be 
evil  spoken  of"  Be  not  public  nor  indiscriminate  in 
your  communications  of  this  kind.  "Take  heed  that 
you  cast  not  your  pearls  before  swine,  lest  they  tram- 
ple them  under  their  feet,  and  then  turn  again  and 
rend  you." 

It  is  a  fact,  that  what  passes  for  conversion  in  one 
sect,  will  be  condemned  as  altogether  insufficient  in 
another.  A  few  years  since  there  was,  what  was 
called  a  great  revival,  in  a  Presbyterian  congregation, 
in  New  Jersey.  The  Presiding  Elder  of  the  Metho- 
dist Society,  for  that  district,  having  classes  of  his 
Church,  mingled  with  the  people  of  that  congregation, 
so  that  he  had  the  opportunity  of  conversing  with  a 
number  of  the  subjects  of  this  work,  gave  it  as  his 
opinion,  to  a  person  who  communicated  the  fact  to 
me,  that  none  with  whom  he  spoke,  were  converted, 
for  he  did  not  meet  with  one  who  w^ould  say,  that  he 
kneiv  his  sins  were  pardoned.  On  the  other  hand, 
many  of  the  conversions  which  take  place  at  camp 


RELIGIOUS     EXPEKIENCE.  123 

meetings,  and  other  meetings,  where  there  is  much 
excitement,  though  the  subjects  do  profess  to  know- 
that  their  sins  are  pardoned,  are  not  believed  to  be 
cases  of  sound  conversion  by  Presbyterians;  and 
they  are  confirmed  in  this  opinion,  often,  by  the 
transitory  nature  of  the  reformation  produced.  We 
have  known  instances  of  persons  professing  conver- 
sion at  a  camp-meeting,  and  filUng  the  camp  with 
their  rejoicing,  who  relapsed  into  their  old  habits  of 
sin,  before  reaching  their  own  dwellings.  In  these 
strong  excitements  of  the  animal  sensibilities,  tliere  is 
great  danger  of  deception.  When  feelings  of  distress 
are  wound  up  to  a  very  high  pitch,  there  often  occurs 
a  natural  re-action  in  the  nervous  system,  by  which 
the  bodily  sensations  are  suddenly  changed,  and  this, 
attended  with  some  text  of  Scripture  impressed  on  the 
mind,  leads  the  person  to  believe,  that  he  was  in  that 
moment  converted,  when  in  reality  no  permanent 
change  has  been  efl'ected.  It  is  one  thing  to  be  per- 
suaded of  the  truth  of  the  gospel,  and  quite  another 
to  be  certain  that  I  have  believed,  and  that  my  sins 
are  pardoned.  Mr.  Wesley  was  for  several  years  in  the 
ministry,  and  a  missionary  to  America  before  he  had 
this  joyful  sense  of  the  forgiveness  of  sins,  and  he 
seems  to  intimate,  that  until  this  time  he  was  an  un- 
converted man;  and  most  of  his  followers  make  this 
joyful  sense  of  pardoned  sin,  the  principal  evidence 
of  conversion,  and  one  which  all  must  experience. 
Most  serious,  intelligent  readers,  however,  will  be  of 
opinion,  that  Mr.  Wesley  was  as  humble  and  sincere 
a  penitent,  before  this  joyful  experience,  as  after- 
wards; and  that  it  is  a  dangerous  principle  to  make  a 
man's  opinion  of  his  own  state,  the  criterion  by  which 
to  judge  of  its  safety.  Certainly,  we  should  greatly 
prefer  to  stand  in  the  place  of  some  broken-hearted, 
contrite  ones,  who  can  scarcely  be  induced  to  enter- 
tain a  hope  respecting  their  acceptance,  to  that  of 
many  who  boast  that  they  never  feel  a  doubt  of  their 
own  safety.  Men  will  not  be  judged  in  the  last  day 
by  the  opinion  which  they  had  of  themselves.  For 
the  confidence,  it  v/ould  seem,  never  forsakes  some 


124  THOUGHTS    ON 

to  the  last,  who  nevertheless  will  be  cast  into  outer 
darkness.  "  Not  every  one  that  saith  unto  me  Lord, 
Lord,  shall  enter  into  the  kingdom  of  heaven,  but  he 
that  doeth  the  will  of  my  Father  which  is  in  heaven. 
Many  will  say  unto  me  in  that  day  Lord,  Lord,  have 
we  not  prophesied  in  thy  name,  and  in  thy  name  have 
cast  out  devils?  and  in  thy  name  done  many  wonder- 
ful works.  And  then  will  I  profess  unto  them,  I 
never  knew  you,  depart  from  me  ye  workers  of  ini- 
quity." In  early  life,  the  writer  knew  some  high 
professors  of  his  own  denomination,  who  could  tell 
the  day  and  hour  when  God  had  mercy  on  them. 
One  of  these,  a  fair  spoken,  plausible  man,  who  had 
spent  the  former  part  of  his  life  in  pleasure  and  dissi- 
pation, gave  such  an  account  of  his  conversion  as  was 
adapted  to  produce  envy  and  discouragement  in  pro- 
fessors who  had  been  less  favoured;  and  not  only 
could  designate  the  month  and  day  of  the  month,  but 
the  hour  of  the  day,  when  he  obtained  reconciliation 
with  God.  No  one  doubted  of  his  piety — but  mark 
the  event.  This  high  professor,  a  few  years  after- 
wards, was  excommunicated  from  the  church,  for 
manifest  perjury!  Another,  whose  experience  was 
remarkable  and  his  conversion  sudden,  became  a 
preacher,  then  a  fanatic— and  finally  an  infidel.  This 
man  told  me,  that  though  often  in  great  spiritual  dis- 
tress, he  never  doubted  of  the  goodness  of  his  state. 
They  who  believe  that  a  man  may  be  a  saint  to-day 
and  a  devil  to-morrow,  not  in  appearance  only,  but 
in  reality,  easily  account  for  these  apostasies,  but  we 
are  inclined  to  hold  fast  by  what  the  beloved  disciple 
says  about  such,  in  his  lime.  "  They  went  out  from 
us,  but  they  were  not  of  us,  for  if  they  had  been  of 
us  they  would  no  doubt  have  continued  with  us;  but 
they  went  out,  that  they  might  be  made  manifest 
that  they  were  not  all  of  us." 

Few  men  in  later  times  appear  to  have  arisen  to 
greater  eminence  in  piety  than  Henry  Martyn,  the 
missionary.  The  strength  of  the  principle  of  holi- 
ness, in  his  case,  was  manifested  in  his  habitual  spir- 
ituality of  mind,  and  the  constant  exercise  of  self-de- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIE>XE.  125 

nial;  yet,  as  far  as  is  related,  his  incipient  exercises 
of  religion  were  no  how  strongly  marked,  but  seem 
to  have  been  rather  obscure  and  feeble.  The  same 
is  the  fact  respecting  those  two  distinguished  men  of 
God,  Philip  and  Matthew  Henry,  the  father  and  the 
son.  The  early  exercises  of  these  men  were  not  in 
any  respect  remarkable.  Indeed,  they  both  became 
pious  when  very  young;  and  we  rarely  get  a  very 
distinct  and  accurate  account  of  the  commencement 
of  piety  in  early  life.  But  no  one,  who  is  acquainted 
with  the  lives  of  these  eminent  ministers,  will  deny 
that  they  grew  up  to  an  uncommon  degree  of  piety, 
which  in  the  experience  of  both,  though  characterized 
by  genuine  humility,  was  free  from  any  mixture  of 
gloom  or  austerity.  True  religion  can  rarely  be 
found  exhibiting  so  cheerful  a  mien  and  so  amiable 
an  aspect,  and  yet,  with  these  men  every  thing  be- 
came a  part  of  their  religion;  to  this  one  object  their 
wliole  lives  were  devoted.  I  have  derived  much  satis- 
faction, and  I  hope,  profit,  from  the  account  which 
Halyburton  gives  of  his  religious  experience;  especial- 
ly, because  the  account  was  given  wlien  the  writer  was 
advanced  in  years,  and  when  his  judgment  was  fully 
matured.  Many  youthful  narratives  of  pious  exer- 
cises are  very  fervent,  but  they  are  frothy,  and  marked 
with  that  kind  of  ignorance  and  self-confidence  which 
arise  from  inexperience.  Halyburton  is  an  example 
of  a  person  brought  up  under  religious  discipline  and 
instruction,  and  under  constant  restraint,  whose  con- 
victions of  sin  were  nevertheless  exceedingly  pungent 
and  awful.  His  conversion  too  was  sudden,  and  his 
first  exercises  of  faith  clear  and  strong.  "  I  cannot," 
says  he,  "  be  very  positive  about  the  day  or  the  h'our 
of  this  deliverance;  nor  can  I  satisfy  many  other 
questions  about  the  way  and  .manner  of  it.  As  to 
these  things  I  may  say  with  'jthe  blind  man,  '  One 
thing  I  know,  that  whereas  I  ^as  blind  now  I  see.' 
It  was  towards  the  close  of  Jan\mry,  or  the  begin- 
ning of  February,  169S,  that  this  seasonable  relief 
came;  and, so  far  as  I  can  remembej",  I  was  at  secret 
prayer;  in  very  great  extremity,  not^fer  from  despair, 

9 


126  THOUGHTS     ON 

when  the  Lord  seasonably  stepped  in  and  gave  this 
merciful  turn  to  affairs.  When  I  said  there  was  none 
to  save,  then  '  his  arm  brought  salvation.'  God,  who 
commanded  the  light  to  shine  out  of  darkness, 'shined 
into  my  mind,' to  give  the  light  of  the  knowledge  of  the 
glory  of  God  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ.  That  which 
afforded  me  relief  was  a  discovery  of  the  Lord,  as  man- 
ifested in  his  word.  He  said  to  me,  'thou  hast  destroyed 
thyself,  but  in  me  is  thy  help.'  He  let  me  see  that  there 
are  forgivenesses  with  him,  that  with  him  is  mercy 
and  plenteous  redemption.  He  made  all  his  good- 
ness pass  before  me,  and  proclaimed  his  name,  '  The 
Lord,  the  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious,  long-suf- 
fering, and  abundant  in  goodness  and  trutii,  keeping 
mercy  for  thousands,  forgiving  iniquity  and  transgres- 
sion and  sin.'  Who  will  be  gracious  to  whom  he  will 
be  gracious,  and  will  show  mercy  to  whom  he  will 
show  mercy.  This  was  a  strange  sight  to  one  who 
before  looked  on  God  as  a  'consuming  fire'  which  I 
could  not  see  and  live.  He  brought  me  from  Sinai 
and  its  thunderings,  to  Mount  Zion,  and  to  the  Medi- 
ator of  the  new  covenant,  and  to  the  blood  of  sprink- 
ling that  cleanseth  from  all  sin,  and  speaketh  better 
things  than  the  blood  of  Abel.  He  revealed  Christ  in 
his  glory.  I  now  with  wonder  beheld  his  glory,  the 
glory  as  of  the  only  begotten  of  the  Father,  full  of  grace 
and  truth.     And  I   was  made,  by   this  sight,  to  say, 

'  Thou  art  fairer  than  the  sons  of  men.' And  I 

was  hereby  further  satisfied,  that  not  only  was  there 
forgiveness  of  sins  and  justification  by  free  grace, 
through  the  redemption  that  is  in  Christ  Jesus,  whom 
God  hath  set  forth  to  be  a  propitiation  through  faith 
in  his  blood,  to  declare  his  righteousness  for  the  remis- 
sion of  sins  that  are  past,  through  the  forbearance  of 
God — but  I  saw  moreover,  with  wonder  and  delight, 
how  God  by  this  means  might  be  just  even  in  justi- 
fying the  ungodly,  who  believe  in  Jesus.  How  was 
I  ravished  with  delight  v/hen  made  to  see  that  the 
God  in  whom  a  little  before  I  thought  there  was  no 
help  for  me,  or  any  sinner  in  my  case — if  indeed  there 
were  any  such — notwithstanding  his  spotless  purity, 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE,  127 

his  deep  hatred  of  sin,  his  inflexible  justice  and  righ- 
teousness, and  his  unimpeachable  faithfulness  pledged 
in  the  threatenings  of  the  law,  might  not  only  pardon, 
but  without  prejudice  to  his  justice  or  his  other  attri- 
butes, might  be  just,  even  in  justifying  the  ungodly. 

And  the  Lord  further  opened  the   gospel-call 

to  me,  and  let  me  see  that  even  to  me,  was  '  the  word 
of  this  salvation  sent,'  All  this  was  offered  unto 
me,  and  I  was  invited  to  come  and  freely  take  of  the 
waters  of  life,  and  to  come  in  my  distress  unto  the 

blessed  rest He,  to  my  great  satisfaction,  gave 

me  a  pleasing  discovery  of  his  design  in  the  whole, 
that  it  was,  '  that  no  flesh  might  glory  in  his  sight,' 
but  that  he  who  glories,  should  glory  only  in  the 
Lord;  and  that  he  might  manifest  the  riches  of  his 
grace,  and  be  exalted  in  showing  mercy,  and  that  we 
in  the  end  might  be  saved.  The  Lord  revealed  to 
my  soul  the  full  and  suitable  provision,  made  in  this 
way  against  the  power  of  sin — that  as  there  is  right- 
eousness in  him,  so  there  is  strength,  even  'everlast- 
ing strength'  in  the  Lord  Jehovah,  to  secure  us  against 

all  enemies When  this  strange  discoverj'- was 

made  of  a  relief,  wherein  full  provisions  were  made 
for  all  the  concerns  of  God's  glory  and  my  salvation 
in  subordination  thereto,  my  soul  was,  by  a  sweet 
and  glorious  power,  carried  out  to  rest  in  it,  as  worthy 
of  God,  and  every  way  suitable  and  satisfying  in  my 
case.  '  They  that  know  thy  name  will  put  their  trust 
in  thee,'  All  these  discoveries  were  conveyed  to  me 
by  the  Scriptures  only.  It  was  not  indeed  by  one 
particular  promise  or  testimony  of  Scripture,  but  by 
the  concurring  light  of  a  great  many,  seasonably  set 
home,  and  most  plainly  expressing  the  truths  above 
mentioned.  The  promises  and  truths  of  the  Bible,  in 
great  abundance  and  variety,  were  brought  to  remem- 
brance, and  the  wonders  contained  in  them,  were  set 
before  my  eyes  in  the  light  of  the  word.     'He  sent 

his  word  and  healed  me.' But  it  was  not  the 

Bible  alone  that  conveyed  the  discovery;  for  most  of 
these  passages  whereby  I  was  relieved,  I  had  formerly 
in  my  distress,  read  and  thought  upon,  without  find- 


128  THOUGHTS    ON 

ing  any  relief  in  them.  But  now  the  Lord  shined 
into  my  mind  by  them.  Formerly,  I  was  acquainted 
only  with  the  letter,  which  profits  not,  but  now  the 
Lord's  words  were  spirit  and  life,  and  in  his  light  I 
saw  light.  God  opened  my  eyes  to  see  wonders  out 
of  his  law.  There  was  light  in  his  words;  a  burning 
light  by  them  shone  into  my  mind,  not  merely  some 
doctrinal  knowledge,  but  '  the  light  of  the  knowledge 
of  the  glory  of  God  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ.'  The 
light,  that  I  now  had,  shone  from  heaven;  it  was  not 
a  sparic  kindled  by  my  own  endeavours,  but  it  shone 
suddenly  about  me;  it  came  by  the  word  of  God,  a 
heavenly  means.  It  opened  heaven  and  discovered 
heavenly  things,  even  the  glory  of  God;  and  it  led 
me  up  as  it  were  to  heaven.  Its  whole  tendency  was 
heavenward.  It  was  a  true  light,  giving  manifesta- 
tions of  God,  even  the  one  true  God,  and  the  one  Me- 
diator between  God  and  man;  and  giving  a  true  view 
of  my  state  with  respect  to  God It  was  a  pleas- 
ant and  a  sweet  light:  it  had  a  heavenly  satisfaction 
in  God  attending  it.  It  led  to  a  pleasure  in  the  foun- 
tain whence  it  came.  It  was  a  distinct  and  clear  light, 
not  only  representing  spiritual  things,  but  manifesting 
them  in  their  glory.  It  put  all  things  in  their  proper 
place,  in  due  subordination  to  God,  and  gave  distinct 
views  of  their  genuine  tendency.  It  was  a  satisfying 
light.  The  soul  rested  in  the  discoveries  that  it  made 
and  was  satisfied;  it  could  not  doubt  of  what  it  saw, 
and  that  things  were  as  they  were  represented.  It 
was  a  quickening,  refreshing  and  healing  light;  when 
'the  Sun  of  Righteousness'  arose,  there  was  'healing 
under  his  wings.'  It  was  a  great  light :  it  made  dis- 
coveries which  were  easily  distinguished  from  any 
former  discoveries  it  had  ever  made;  and  it  was  a 
powerful  light.  It  dissipated  that  thick  darkness 
which  had  overspread  my  mind,  and  made  all  those 
frightful  temptations,  which  had  formerly  disturbed 
me,  fly  before  it.  It  was  composing:  not  like  a  sud- 
den flash  of  lightning,  which  fills  the  soul  with  fear 
and  amazement,  but  it  composed  and  quieted  my  soul 
and  put  all  my  faculties,  as  it  were,  in  their  due  pos- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  129 

ture,  and  gave  me  the  exercise  of  them.  It  destroyed 
not,  but  improved  my  former  knowledge.  But,  as 
the  true  idea  of  Ught  is  not  conveyed  by  the  ear;  so 
no  words  can  convey  the  idea  of  Hght  to  the  bhnd. 
And  he  who  has  eyes,  will  need  no  words  to  describe 
it.  It  is  like  the  new  name  that  none  knows,  save  he 
that  has  it. 

"  The  first  discernible  effect  of  this  light  was,  an 
approbation  of  God's  way  of  saving  sinners  by  Jesus 
Christ,  to  the  glory  of  his  grace.  And  this  I  take  to 
be  the  true  Scriptural  notion  of  justifying  faith;  for  it 
not  only  answers  the  Scripture  descriptions  of  it,  by 
receiving,  coming,  looking,  trusting,  believing,  &c., 
but  it  really  gives  God  that  glory  which  he  designed 
by  all  this  contrivance — the  glory  of  his  wisdom, 
grace,  mercy,  and  truth.  Now  this  discovery  of  the 
Lord's  name  brought  me  to  trust  in  him,  and  glory 
otily  in  the  Lord.  I  found  my  soul  fully  satisfied  in 
these  discoveries,  as  pointing  out  a  way  of  relief, 
altogether  and  in  all  respects  suitable  to  the  need  of  a 
poor,  guilty,  self-condemned,  self-destroyed  sinner, 
driven  from  all  other  reliefs.  In  this  I  rested,  as  in  a 
way  of  full  peace,  comfort,  security,  and  satisfaction, 
as  providing  abundantly  for  all  those  ends  I  desired  to 
have  secured.  And  this  approbation  was  not  merely 
for  a  time;  but  ever  after  in  all  temptations  it  dis- 
covered itself,  by  iieeping  in  me  a  fixed  assent  and 
adherence  of  mind  to  this  truth,  and  full  persuasion 
of  it,  that  God  hath  granted  unto  us  eternal  life,  and 
this  life  is  in  his  Son. 

"  The  next  remarkable  effect  of  this  discovery  was, 
that  it  set  me  right  as  to  my  chief  end,  and  made  me 
look  to  the  glory  of  God,  for  which  formerly  I  had  no 
real  concern.  Now  mine  eye  was  made,  in  some 
measure,  single  in  eyeing  the  Lord's  honour.  It 
manifested  itself  in  frequent  desires,  that  the  Lord 
might  be  honoured  and  glorified,  in  my  life,  or  by  my 
death.  It  kept  my  soul  fixed  in  the  persuasion  that 
it  was  every  way  meet  that  I  should  take  shame  and 
confusion  to  myself  as  what  only  belonged  to  me;  and 


130  THOUGHTS    ON 

that  the  glory  of  my  salvation  was  only  and  entirely 
the  Lord's  due. 

"A  third  discernible  effect  was,  that  I  was  led  to 
look  upon  his  yoke  to  be  easy  and  his  burden  light; 
and  to  count  that  his  comniandments  were  not  griev- 
ous, but  'right  concerning  all  things.' — This  was 
very  contrary  to  my  former  temper.  I  now  came  to 
a  fixed  persuasion  that  the  law  was  not  only  just, 
such  as  I  could  make  no  reasonable  exception  against, 
but  holy,  and  such  as  became  God;  and  good,  such  as 
was  every  way  suited  to  my  true  interest  and  peace, 
and  advantage — which  I  could  never  think  before. 
The  duties  to  which  my  heart  was  most  averse  had 
now  become  agreeable  and  refreshing. 

"A  fourth  remarkable  effect  of  this  discovery  was, 
the  exercise  of  evangelical  repentance,  which  was 
very  different,  in  many  respects,  from  that  sorrow 
with  which  I  was  before  acquainted.  It  differed  in 
its  rise.  Sorrow  before  flowed  from  the  discovery  of 
sin  as  it  brings  on  wrath;  now  it  flowed  from  a  sense 
of  sin  as  containing  wretched  unkindness  to  one, 
who  was  himself  astonishingly  kind  to  an  unworthy 
wretch.  I  looked  on  him  whom  I  had  pierced,  and 
did  mourn.  Sorrow  formerly  wrought  death,  alien- 
ated my  heart  from  God,  and  thus  dispirited  me  for 
duty,  and  made  me  fear  hurt  from  him;  but  this  sor- 
row filled  my  heart  with  kindness  to  God  and  to  his 
ways,  sweetened  my  soul,  and  endeared  God  to  it. 
It  flowed  from  a  sense  of  his  favour  to  an  unworthy 
wretch  that  deserved  none,  and  was  thus  a  godly  sor- 
row leading  to  kindness  to  God,  and  a  drawing  near 
him,  but  with  much  humble  sense  of  my  own  unwor- 
thiness,  like  the  returning  prodigal.  The  more  God 
manifested  of  his  kindness,  the  more  still  did  this  feel- 
ing increase:  when  he  was  pacified,  then  was  I 
ashamed  and  confounded.  The  sorrow  I  had  before 
looked  on  as  a  burden:  it  was  nothing  but  selfish  con- 
cern for  my  own  safety,  and  a  fear  of  the  righteous 
resentment  of  God.  But  this  sorrow  was  sweet  and 
pleasant,  as  being  the  exercise  of  filial  gratitude;  and 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


131 


I  took  pleasure  in  the  surprising  manifestations  of 
God's  favour  to  one  so  unworthy,  and  in  acknow- 
ledging my  own  unworthiiiess.  This  sorrow  was  a 
spring  of  activity,  and  I  was  glad  to  be  employed  in 
the  meanest  errand  that  might  give  opportunity  to 
evidence  how  deeply  I  was  grieved  for  my  former 
disobedience.  It  resulted  in  a  return  to  the  way  of 
life,  and  to  such  a  course,  as  upon  a  review,  I  did  not 
repent  of,  but  delighted  in,  and  in  which  I  desired 
continually  to  advance.  It  wrought  carefulness  to 
avoid  sin,  anxiety  to  please  God,  indignation  against 
sin,  fear  of  offending  God  again,  vehement  desire  of 
having  sin  removed,  the  Lord  glorified,  and  obedi- 
ence promoted. 

"A  fifth  discernible  effect  was,  an  humble,  but 
sweet  and  comfortable  hope,  and  persuasion  of  my 
own  salvation,  answerable  to  the  clearness  of  the  dis- 
covery. When  the  Lord  gave  me  this  view  of  the 
way  of  salvation,  he  satisfied  me,  that  it  was  a  way 
full  of  peace  and  security,  the  only  way  which  I  might 
safely  venture.  Hereby  I  was  freed  from  the  dis- 
quieting fear  that  the  ground  of  my  trust  would  fail. 
I  was  satisfied  I  could  not  fail,  otherwise  than  by  mis- 
sing the  way.  While  I  held  fast  and  reposed  with 
satisfaction  on  what  I  was  convinced  was  safe,  I 
could  not  but  be  quiet  and  composed  about  the  result. 
This  shows  how  nearly  allied  faith  and  assurance  are; 
though  they  are  not  the  same,  no  wonder  the  one 
should  be  taken  for  tlie  other.  This  discovery,  mani- 
fested that  salvation  was  in  the  way  of  self-denial, 
and  trust  in  the  Lord  alone ;  f(tr  nothing  so  soon  mar- 
red this  hope,  as  the  least  appearance  of  self,  and 
stirring  of  pride.  Whenever  the  glory  of  the  Lord 
appeared  and  he  spake  peace,  I  was  filled  with 
shame,  and  the  deeper  this  humiliation  was,  the  more 
the  humble  confidence  of  my  safety  increased. 

"A  sixth  discernible  difference  was,  with  respect 
to  the  ordinances  of  the  Lord's  appointment.  I  was 
drawn  to  follow  them  as  the  Lord's  institutions,  and 
his  appointed  means  of  our  obtaining  discoveries  of  his 
beauty.     I  desired  '  to  behold  the  beauty  of  the  Lord, 


132  THOUGHTS    ON 

and  to  inquire  in  his  temple.'  I  was  brought  to  exer- 
cise more  liveliness  when  the  Lord  discovered  him- 
self; 'my  soul  then  followed  hard  after  him.'  When 
the  Lord  enlarged  me  and  caused  me  to  approach  to 
him  and  see  his  glory,  he  still  humbled  me,  discovered 
self,  and  put  me  in  opposition  to  it.  I  was  now  ac- 
quainted, in  some  measure,  with  that  boldness  and 
freedom  of  access,  with  humble  confidence,  to  God  as 
on  a  throne  of  grace,  manifesting  himself  in  Christ. 
In  a  word,  I  was  in  some  measure,  sensible  of  the 
Lord's  hiding  or  manifesting  himself,  according  as  I 
performed  my  duty,  and  of  the  necessity  of  the  exer- 
cise of  grace,  particularly  faith,  in  all  approaches  to 
God." 

Although  in  the  preceding  authentic  narrative  of 
religious  experience,  we  have  entered  more  into  detail 
than  usual,  yet  we  are  persuaded,  that  the  serious 
reader  will  not  think  the  account  too  long  or  too  par- 
ticular. J  have  not  met  with  any  account  of  Chris- 
tian experience  which  is  so  full  and  satisfactory  as 
this;  and  when  it  is  known  to  have  been  written  by 
a  man  of  sound  understanding,  and  most  exemplary 
piety,  at  a  late  period  of  life,  when  his  judgment  was 
matured  by  much  experience,  it  cannot  but  furnish  a 
decisive  proof  of  the  reality  of  experimental  religion, 
which  cannot  be  gainsayed.  In  these  exercises  there 
is  not  a  tincture  of  enthusiasm.  Indeed,  holy  affec- 
tions thus  produced  by  the  contemplation  of  truth  is 
the  very  opposite  of  enthusiasm;  which  always  sub- 
stitutes human  fancies  or  impulses  for  the  truths  of 
God,  which  it  uniforrrily  undervalues.  In  this  case, 
we  see  also,  how  high  the  exercises  of  Scriptural  piety 
may  rise,  without  degenerating  into  any  extrava- 
gance. Many  Christians  seem  not  to  know  or  believe 
that  such  spiritual  discoveries  of  the  beauty  of  holi- 
ness and  the  glory  of  the  Lord,  are  now  attainable: 
but  still  there  are  some,  and  often  those  of  the  hum- 
bler class  of  society,  who  are  privileged  with  these 
spiritual  discoveries,  and  prize  them  above  all  price. 
The  language  of  such  is,  "  One  day  in  thy  courts  is 
better  than  a  thousand.     I  would  rather  be  a  door- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  133 

keeper  in  the  house  of  God,  than  dwell  in  the  tents 
of  sin."  "Return  unto  thy  rest  0  my  soul,  for  the 
Lord  hath  dealt  bountifully  with  thee."  It  is  delight- 
ful to  trace  the  effects  of  God's  truth  in  producing 
every  holy  affection,  when  it  is  discerned  by  the  light 
of  the  Holy  Spirit.  Faith  is  almost  identified  with 
this  view;  love  flows  out  sweetly  and  spontaneously; 
evangelical  repentance  is  enkindled ;  the  soul  is  clothed 
with  humility;  zeal  for  God's  glory  is  predominant; 
his  ordinances  are  sought  with  desire,  and  found  to 
be  channels  which  freely  communicate  with  the  rich 
fountain  of  grace  beneath  the  throne  of  God.  So 
far  are  right  views  of  free  grace  from  leading  those 
who  entertain  them  to  indulge  in  indolence,  or  be 
careless  about  holy  living,  that  they  impart  the  only 
true  cause  of  activity  and  diligence  in  the  work  of 
the  Lord.  In  the  foregoing  account,  the  reader  may 
learn  the  nature  of  true  religion  more  clearly  than 
from  many  sermons  and  long  treatises;  but  the  hum- 
ble, doubting  Christian  must  not  make  the  measure  of 
grace  which  this  favoured  saint  enjoyed,  the  standard 
by  which  to  judge  of  the  reality  of  his  own  religious 
experience.  The  same  light  may  shine  with  vastly 
different  degrees  of  clearness,  from  the  meridian  blaze 
down  to  the  faint  crepuscular  dawn,  but  the  rays 
come  from  the  same  source;  and  tbat  which  is  now 
but  just  discernible  in  the  midst  of  shades  of  depart- 
ing night,  will  go  on  to  increase,  until  it  shines  more 
and  more  to  the  perfect  day.  Let  not  the  extraor- 
dinary clearness  and  distinctness  discourage  those 
who  are  sincerely  desirous  to  see  "the  beauty  of  the 
Lord,"  but  let  them  rather  take  fresh  courage  in  a 
pursuit,  which  from  this  example,  they  find  may  be 
crowned  with  glorious  success.  "They  that  wait 
upon  the  Lord  shall  renew  their  strength;  they  shall 
mount  up  with  wings  as  eagles,  they  shall  run  and 
not  be  weary,  and  they  shall  walk  and  not  faint." 


134 


THOUGHTS    ON 


CHAPTER  IX. 


Christian  experience  of  R C . — Narrative  of  Sir  Richard 

Hill's  experience. 

The    following   extracts,  from  a    narrative   of   the 

Christian  experience  of  R C ,  will  serve  to 

illustrate  some  points  which  have  heretofore  been 
treated ;  particularly  the  gradual  manner  in  which 
some  persons  are  brought  to  the  knowledge  of  the 
truth;  and  the  extreme  difficulty  of  ascertaining,  in 
many  cases,  where  common  grace  ends  and  special 
grace  commences. 

"  I  grew  up,"  says  the  narrator,  "  to  manhood  with 
very  little  thought  of  religion,  and  without  expe- 
riencing any  serious  impressions,  except  the  alarm 
occasionally  produced  by  the  death  of  a  companion, 
or  relative.  Whilst  I  habitually  cherished  a  strong 
dislike  to  strict  religion,  which  frowned  upon  a  life  of 
pleasure  and  amusement,  I  entertained  a  strong  preju- 
dice in  favour  of  Christianity  in  general,  and  that 
particular  denomination  to  which  my  parents  and. 
ancestors  belonged.  I  call  this  a  prejudice,  for  I 
knew  nothing  of  the  evidences  of  the  truth  of  Chris- 
tianity, and  had  only  a  very  vague  and  confused 
notion  of  what  the  Scriptures  contained;  except  that, 
when  a  child,  I  had  read,  frequently,  many  portions 
of  the  historical  parts  of  the  Bible.  In  this  state  of 
mind,  I  was  exposed  to  the  common  objections  of 
infidels;  which  arose  from  reading  history,  and  find- 
ing that  all  nations  had  their  respective  religions,  in 
which  they  believed  as  firmly  as  we  did  in  ours;  and 
the  thought  occurred,  often, '  Why  may  they  not  be 
in  the  right  and  we  in  the  wrong?  but,  about  this 
time,  infidelity  began  to  prevail,  and  its  abettors  to  be 
bold  in  declaring  their  opinions.  My  mind  was  so 
completely  unfurnished  with  arguments  in  favour  of 
Christianity  that  the  only  thing  on  which  I  could  fix 
was,  that  it  had  come  down  from  my  ancestors,  and 
the  people  with  whom  I  was  conversant,  generally 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


135 


believed  in  it.  But  this  was  far  from  satisfying  my 
mind.  I  began  to  feel  uneasy  for  fear  that  we  were 
all  wrong  in  our  belief;  but  the  thought  was  never 
pleasing  to  my  mind.  As  to  books  of  evidence,  I 
knew  nothing  about  them,  and  cannot  remember  that 
I  had  ever  heard  of  such  works.  And  I  was  so  situated 
that  I  had  no  one  to  whom  I  could  apply  for  instruc- 
tion. The  only  person  with  whom  1  had  any  com- 
munication, on  literary  subjects,  was  a  gentleman, 
who  though  he  said  nothing  to  me  on  the  subject,  was 
deeply  imbued  with  skeptical  opinions.  Being  sepa- 
rated from  the  companions  of  my  youth,  and  placed 
in  a  secluded  situation,  where,  except  on  particular 
occasions,  I  saw  little  company,  and  where  there  were 
few  opportunities  of  hearing  instructive  preaching,  I 
was  cast  upon  my  own  thoughts,  and  my  reflections 
were  often  not  very  pleasing.  One  day — it  was  the 
Lord's  day — as  I  was  looking  over  some  books,  which 
I  had  in  a  trunk,  my  eye  caught  the  words,  '  Internal 
Evidences  of  the  Christian  Religion.'  I  had  often 
seen  the  same  book,  and  never  so  much  as  thought 
what  the  subject  of  it  was;  but  in  my  present  per- 
plexity, I  seized  it  with  avidity,  and  began  to  read. 
The  work  was,  the  celebrated  treatise  of  Soame  Je- 
nyns,  Esq.  I  never  removed  from  where  I  was 
sitting  until  I  had  finished  it,  and  as  I  proceeded,  the 
light  of  evidence  poured  in  upon  my  mind  with  such 
power  of  demonstration,  that  at  the  conclusion,  I  had 
the  idea  of  the  room  being  full  of  resplendent  light.  I 
enjoyed  a  pleasure  which  none  can  appreciate  but 
those  who  have  been  led  to  the  contemplation  of  the 
truth,  in  like  perplexing  circumstances.  Not  only 
were  all  my  doubts  removed,  but  I  wanted  no  more 
evidence.  My  conviction  of  the  truth  of  Christianity 
was  complete.  I  believe  it  could  not  have  been 
increased. 

"But  still  I  knew  scarcely  anything  of  the  method 
of  salvation,  revealed  in  the  gospel.  I  entertained 
the  common  legal  notions  of  thousands  of  ignorant 
people,  '  that  at  a  convenient  time  I  would  become 
good,'  never  doubting,  for  a  moment,  of  my  ability  to 


136 


THOUGHTS    ON 


do  all  that  was  requisite.  The  only  thing  which  gave 
me  uneasiness  was,  the  fear  of  a  sudden  death,  which 
would  not  afford  me  the  opportunity  of  repenting  and 
making  my  peace  with  God.  But  the  hope  prevailed, 
that  I  should  die  a  lingering  death,  and  be  in  my 
senses,  and  then  I  would  do  all  that  was  requisite  to 
prepare  me  for  heaven;  while  at  the  same  time,  I  had 
no  definite  idea,  what  that  preparation  was.  During 
this  period,  I  was  exposed  to  few  temptations;  but 
still  some  sins  had  dominion  over  me.  One  day  a 
child  brought  to  me  a  small  book  and  said  that  Mrs. 
T.  requested  that  I  would  read  it,  and  return  it 
soon,  as  it  was  borrowed.  The  title,  was,  '  Jenks  on 
Justification  by  Faith.'  I  read  the  book  through  at 
a  single  sitting,  and  again  a  new  light  sprung  up  in 
my  mind.  The  author,  in  the  introduction,  gives  an 
account  of  his  ignorance  of  the  true  method  of  a  sin- 
ner's justification,  until  he  had  been  for  years  a 
preacher.  He  was  a  minister  of  the  church  of  Eng- 
land. I  now  found  that  I  likewise  had  been  all  my 
life  ignorant  of  the  way  of  salvation;  for  I  entertained 
the  same  legal  and  unscriptural  notions  which  he 
proves  to  be  utterly  erroneous.  Although  these  new 
views  seem  to  have  been  merely  intellectual,  yet  they 
afforded  me  a  great  satisfaction.  I  had  now  a  dis- 
tinct knowledge  of  the  gospel  method  of  justification, 
which  I  ever  afterwards  retained.  Another  copy  of 
this  book  I  have  never  seen. 

"  The  preaching,  to  which  1  had  access,  was  mostly 
of  a  wild,  fanatical  kind,  and  the  way  in  which  I 
heard  the  new  birth  described,  tended  to  prejudice  me 
against  the  doctrine  of  regeneration.  I  had  never 
before  heard  any  thing  about  this  change,  and  yet  I 
was  sure  that  I  knew  some  very  good  and  religious 
people.  I  began  to  be  troubled  to  know,  whether 
sober,  intelligent  Christians  believed  in  this  doctrine. 
It  also  became  a  subject  of  discussion  in  the  little  cir- 
cle with  which  I  was  conversant;  and  I  found  that 
one  person  in  the  company  professed  to  have  expe- 
rienced this  change:  another  was  convinced  of  its 
reality,  but  professed  to  be  merely  an  inquirer;  a 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  137 

third  was  of  opinion,  that  it  related  to  the  conversion 
of  Jews  and  infidels,  and  that  there  was  no  other  re- 
generation, except  in  baptism;  and  the  fourth,  was 
the  skeptical  gentleman,  already  mentioned,  who  was 
incredulous  about  the  whole  matter.  In  these  con- 
versations, I,  being  young  and  ignorant,  took  no  part, 
but  I  listened  to  them  with  intense  interest.  I  had 
recourse  to  such  books  as  I  had  access  to,  but  could 
find  nothing  that  was  satisfactory;  for  my  range  of 
religious  books  was  very  narrow,  and  few  of  these  of 
an  evangelical  cast.  The  person  of  my  acquaintance, 
who  professed  conversion,  one  day  gave  me  a  narra- 
tive of  the  various  steps  and  changes  experienced  in 
this  transition  from  darkness  to  light.  As  I  enter- 
tained a  favourable  opinion  of  the  veracity  and  sin- 
cerity of  the  individual,  I  began  to  think  there  might 
be  something  in  it.  Although  I  had  experienced 
no  remarkable  change  thus  far,  I  knew  that  the  sub- 
ject of  religion  had  become  one  of  much  more  fre- 
quent thought,  and  excited  much  more  interest  in  my 
mind  than  formerly.  One  evidence  of  which  was, 
that  I  commenced  secret  prayer,  a  duty  utterly  neg- 
lected until  this  time,  except  when  some  one  of  the 
family  was  dangerously  sick.  I  had  selected  a  re- 
tired spot,  surrounded  by  a  thick  growth  of  trees  and 
bushes,  on  the  margin  of  a  brook.  Here  I  made  a 
kind  of  arbour,  over  a  little  plat  of  green  grass,  and 
in  the  summer  evenings  I  would  resort  to  this  seques- 
tered spot.  It  was  on  the  afternoon  of  a  Sunday,  I 
was  reading  a  sermon  on  the  long-suffering  and  pa- 
tience of  God,  in  waiting  with  delaying  sinners;  and 
so  many  things  applied  so  exactly  to  my  own  case, 
that  I  became  so  much  affected  with  a  sense  of  the 
divine  goodness  and  forbearance,  in  sparing  me,  and 
waiting  so  long  with  me,  while  I  was  living  in  neg- 
lect of  him,  that  I  felt  impelled  to  go  out  and  weep. 
I  was  reading  the  sermon  aloud  to  the  fiimily,  by^- 
quest.  I  laid  down  the  book  abruptly,  and  hastened 
to  my  retirement,  where  I  poured  out  a  flood  of  tears, 
in  prayer.  And,  suddenly,  I  was  overwhelmed  with 
a  flood  of  joy.      It  was  extatic  beyond  any  thing 


138 


THOUGHTS     ON 


which  I  had  ever  conceived;  for  though  I  thought  re- 
ligion a  necessary  thnig,  I  never  had  an  idea  that  there 
was  any  positive  pleasure  in  its  exercises.  Whence 
this  joy  originated,  I  knew  not.  The  only  thing 
which  had  been  on  nny  mind  was,  the  goodness  and 
patience  of  God,  and  my  own  ingratitude.  Neither 
can  I  now  say  how  long  it  continued;  but  the  impres- 
sion left  was,  that  I  was  in  the  favour  of  God,  and 
should  certainly  be  happy  for  ever.  When  the  tumult 
of  feeling  had  subsided,  I  began  to  think  that  this  was 
conversion — this  was  the  great  change, of  which  I  had 
recently  heard  so  much.  It  occurred  to  me,  when 
walking  home,  that  if  this  was  indeed  the  change 
called  the  neiv  birth,  it  would  be  evinced  by  my  for- 
saking all  my  sins.  This  suggestion  appeared  right, 
and  I  determined  to  make  this  the  test  of  its  reality. 
All  the  evening,  my  mind  was  in  a  delightful  calm; 
but  the  next  day  my  feelings  had  returned  into  their 
old  channel.  I  was  grieved  at  this,  and  resorted  to 
the  same  place  where  I  had  experienced  such  a  de- 
lightful frame,  in  hopes,  that  by  some  kind  of  associa- 
tion, the  same  scene  would  be  renewed;  but  though 
there  was  the  place  and  all  the  objects  of  yesterday, 
the  soul-ravishing  vision  was  not  there;  and  after  a 
feeble  attempt  at  prayer,  and  lingering  for  some  time, 
I  returned  without  meeting  any  thing  which  I  sought 
and  desired.  It  was  not  long  before  I  was  subjected 
to  the  test  which  I  had  fixed;  a  temptation  to  a  beset- 
ting sin  was  presented,  and  I  had  no  strength  to  re- 
sist, but  was  instantly  overcome.  This  failure  gave 
me  inexpressible  pain,  on  reflection.  I  did  not  know 
how  dear  were  my  cherished  hopes  until  they  were 
wrested  from  me.  I  never  felt  a  keener  regret  at  any 
loss  which  I  ever  experienced." 

"  Although  I  was  constrained  to  admit,  that  I  was 
not  a  regenerated  person,  I  was  sensible  of  a  consid- 
era15le  change  in  my  views  and  feelings  on  the  subject 
of  religion.  I  had  no  longer  any  doubt  of  the  neces- 
sity of  regeneration,  and  entertained  some  consistent 
notions  of  what  its  effects  must  be.  I  had,  as  before 
stated,  acquired   evangelical    views   of  the  way  in 


BELIGIOtrs    EXPERIENCE. 


139 


which  a  sinner  must  be  justified ;  and  entertained  dif- 
ferent feeUngs  from   what  I  had  formerly   towards 
reUgious  people.  Formerly  they  were  objects  of  dread 
and  aversion,  now  I  felt  a  sincere  regard,  and  high 
respect   for   the  same  characters;    and    was  pleased, 
when  I  heard  of  any  of  my  friends  becomingreligious, 
or  more  serious  than  before.     I  had  now  an  oppor- 
tunity of  hearing  an  able  minister  preach  an  evange- 
lical sermon  on  the  text,  '  For  our  righteousnesses 
are  as  filthy  rags,'  &c,,  and  I  cannot  tellt  he  gratifi- 
cation I  experienced,  in  hearing  the  doctrine  of  justi- 
fication, which  I   had  fully  embraced,  preached  dis- 
tinctly and  luminously  from  the  pulpit:  but  when  I 
looked  around  on  the  audience,  I  had  the  impression, 
that  they  were  all,  or  nearly  all,  ignorant  of  what  he 
was  saying,  and  were  still  trusting  to  their  own  works. 
It  gave   me  pleasure,  also,  now,  to  converse  on  the 
doctrines  of  religion;  and  I  felt  a  real  abhorrence  of 
vicious  courses.     This  was  my  state  of  mind  when 
Providence   cast  my  lot  where  a  powerful  revival 
had  been  in  progress  for  some  time.    I  had  witnessed 
something  of  this  kind  in  a  wild,  fanatical  sect;  where 
bodily  agitations  were  common  and  violent;  but  this 
was  a  different  scene.     The  principal  conductor  and 
preacher  was  a  man  of  learning  and  eloquence ;  and 
his  views  of  experimental   religion,  as  I  think,  most 
correct  and  scriptural.     If  he  erred,  it  was  on  the  safe 
side,  in  believing  in  the  thorough  conversion  of  but  a 
small  number  of  those  who  appeared  impressed.     In 
entering  into  this  scene,  I  experienced  various  new, 
and  conflicting  feelings.     The  young  converts  spoke 
freely,  in  my  presence,  of  their  conviction  and  con- 
version; but  often  with  a  degree  of  levity,  which  sur- 
prised me.     In  their  conversations  I  could  take  no 
part,  and  although  my  general  purpose  was  to  con- 
sider myself  an  unawakened,  unconverted  sinner;  yet 
when  I  heard  the  marks  of  true  religion  laid  down, 
and  especially  by  the  distinguished  preacher,  before 
mentioned,  I  could  not  prevent  the  thought  arising 
continually,  '  If  this  is  religion,  then  you  have  expe- 
rienced it.'    This  seemed  to  me  to  be  the  suggestion  of 


140 


THOUGHTS   ON 


a  false  hope,  by  the  enemy,  to  prevent  my  falling  un- 
der conviction.  Still  the  idea  was  continually  pre- 
sented to  my  mind,  and  with  the  appearance  of  truth. 
I  took  occasion  to  state  the  matter  to  the  clergyman 
above  alluded  to,  as  soon  as  I  could  gain  access  to 
him;  for  I  was  diffident  and  timid,  and  had  never 
opened  my  case  to  any  one,  freely,  I  told  him  all  my 
former  exercises,  and  stated  distinctly,  that  they  had 
not  been  sufficient  to  break  the  habit  of  sinning,  to 
which  I  was  addicted.  As  soon  as  I  mentioned  this 
part,  he  said,  in  a  peremptory  tone,  'then  surely 
your  exercises  were  not  of  the  nature  of  true  reli- 
gion; and  you  must  seek  a  better  hope  or  you  will 
never  be  admitted  into  heaven.'  This  decisive  an- 
swer drove  away,  from  that  moment,  every  idea  of 
my  being  in  a  state  of  grace;  and  I  felt  relieved  from 
what  I  had  myself  considered  a  temptation,  to  enter- 
tain a  false  hope.  Now  I  began  to  seek  conviction, 
as  a  necessary  preliminary  to  conversion;  and  hoped 
that  every  sermon  which  I  heard,  would  be  the 
means  of  striking  terror  into  my  soul.  I  read  the 
most  awakening  discourses,  went  to  hear  the  most 
arousing  preachers;  endeavoured  to  work  on  my  own 
mind  by  imagining  the  awful  realities  of  the  judg- 
ment, and  the  torments  of  the  damned.  I  strove  to 
draw  the  covering  from  the  pit,  that  I  might  behold 
the  lake  of  fire,  and  hear  the  wailings  of  the  damned. 
But  the  more  I  sought  these  awful  feelings  of  con- 
viction, the  further  they  seemed  to  fly  from  me.  My 
heart  seemed  to  grow  harder  every  day.  I  was  sen- 
sible of  nothing  but  insensibility.  I  became  discour- 
aged; and  the  more,  because  I  was  obliged  to  re- 
move from  the  scene  of  the  revival,  to  a  place  where 
there  was  no  concern  about  religion,  in  the  people 
generally;  and  where,  I  expected  the  preaching  to  be 
cold  and  lifeless.  I  spent  a  day  before  my  departure, 
in  secret,  and  in  solemn  reflection  on  my  deplorable 
and  hopeless  case.  I  ran  over  all  the  kind  dispensa- 
tions of  God's  providence  towards  me,  and  reflected 
on  the  many  precious  means  of  grace,  which  I  had 
recently  enjoyed,  without  eflect.      The  conclusions 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE, 


141 


which  seemed  now  to  be  forced  on  my  mind  was,  tliat 
God  had  given  me  up  to  a  hard  heart,  and  that  I 
never  should  be  so  happy  as  to  obtain  religion.  This 
conclusion  had,  to  my  mind,  all  the  force  of  a  cer- 
tainty; and  I  began  to  think  about  the  justice  of  God 
in  my  condemnation:  and  no  truth  ever  appeared 
with  more  lucid  evidence  to  my  mind.  I  fully  justi- 
fied God  in  sending  me  to  hell.  I  saw  that  it  was  not 
only  right,  but  I  did  not  see  how  a  just  God  could 
do  otherwise.  And  I  seemed  to  acquiesce  in  it,  as  a 
righteous  and  necessary  thing.  At  this  moment, 
my  mind  became  more  calm  than  it  had  been  for  a 
long  time.  All  striving  and  effort  on  my  part  ceased, 
and  being  in  the  woods,  I  recollected  that  it  was  time 
for  me  to  return  to  the  house,  where  I  expected  to 
meet  some  friends.  Here  I  found  a  minister  wailing 
for  me,  whom  I  had  seen  but  never  spoke  to.  He 
took  me  aside,  and  began  to  represent  the  many  pri- 
vileges which  1  had  enjoyed,  and  expressed  a  hope 
that  I  had  received  some  good  impressions.  I  told 
him  that  it  was  true,  that  I  had  been  highly  favoured; 
but  that  I  had  now  come  to  a  fixed  conclusion  that  I 
should  certainly  be  for  ever  lost;  for  under  all  these 
means,  I  had  not  received  the  slightest  conviction, 
without  which  my  conversion  was  impossible.  He 
replied,  by  saying,  'that  no  certain  degree  of  con- 
viction was  necessary — that  the  only  use  of  convic- 
tion was,  to  make  us  feel  our  need  of  Christ  as  a 
Saviour;  and  appealed  to  me,  wliether  I  did  not  feel, 
that  I  stood  in  need  of  a  Saviour.'  He  then  went  on 
to  say, '  Christ  is  an  advocate  at  the  right  hand  of 
God,  and  stands  ready  to  receive  any  case  which  is 
committed  to  his  hands,  and  however  desperate  your 
case  may  now  appear  to  be,  only  commit  it  to  him 
and  He  will  bring  you  off  safely,  'for  He  is  able  to 
save  to  the  uttermost  all  that  come  unto  God  by 
Him.'  Here,  a  new  view  broke  in  on  my  mind.  I 
saw  that  Christ  was  able  to  save  even  me,  and  I  felt 
willing  to  give  my  cause  into  his  hands.  This  disco- 
very of  the  bare  possibility  of  salvation,  was  one  of 
the  greatest  deliverances  I  ever  experienced.     I  was 

10 


142 


THOUGHTS   ON 


affected  exceedingly  with  the  view,  which  I  had  of 
this  truth,  so  as  to  be  unable  to  speak.  Hope  now 
sprung  up  in  my  desolate  soul — not  that  I  was  par- 
doned or  accepted.  Such  a  thought  did  not  occur — 
but  that  it  was  yet  possible,  that  I  might  be,  hereaf- 
ter, and  I  was  resolved  never  to  give  over  seeking, 
until  I  obtained  the  blessing.  All  (hat  evening  I  was 
sweetly  composed,  and  precious  promises  and  decla- 
rations of  the  word  of  God  came  dropping  succes- 
sively into  my  mind,  as  if  they  had  been  whispered  to 
me.  I  never  could  have  believed,  unless  I  had  ex- 
perienced it,  that  the  mere  possibility  of  salvation 
would  produce  such  comfort. 

About  this  time,  next  morning,  probably — when  I 
retired  to  the  woods — where  my  secret  devotions  were 
usually  performed,  I  experienced  such  a  melting  of 
heart  from  a  sense  of  God's  goodness  to  me,  as  I  never 
felt  before  or  since.  It  seemed  as  if  my  eyes — so  hard 
to  weep  commonly — were  now  a  fountain  of  tears. 
The  very  earth  was  watered  with  their  abundance. 
Indee  I,  my  heart  itself  seemed  to  be  dissolved,  just  as 
a  piece  of  ice  is  dissolved  by  the  heal  of  the  sun.  Of 
the  particular  exercises  of  this  melting  season,  my 
memory  does  not  retain  a  distinct  recollection. 

"  For  some  months  I  attended  to  religious  duties, 
with  various  fluctuations  of  feeling.  Sometimes  I 
entertained  a  pleasing  hope  that  I  was  indeed  a  Chris- 
tian— a  renewed  person;  but,  at  other  times,  I  was 
not  only  distressed  with  doubts,  but  came  to  the  con- 
clusion, that  r  was  still  in  my  sins.  The  only  thing 
which  I  deem  it  important  to  mention  during  this  pe- 
riod, was,  a  deeper  discovery  of  the  wickedness  of  my 
own  heart.  This  conviction  of  deep-rooted,  inherent 
depravity,  distressed  me  much;  but  I  obtained  con- 
siderable relief  from  reading  Owen  on  'Indwelling 
Sin.'  This  book  exhibited  the  state  of  my  heart 
much  better  than  I  could  have  done  myself  Still, 
however,  I  was  much  dissatisfied  with  myself,  because 
after  so  long  a  time,  I  had  made  so  little  progress.  On 
one  occasion,  at  the  close  of  the  exercises  of  the  Sab- 
bath, I  was  so  deeply  sensible  that  my  soul  was  still 


RELIGIOUS  EXPERIENCE. 


143 


in  imminent  danger  of  perdition,  that  I  solemnly  re- 
solved to  begin  a  new  and  more  vigorous  course  of 
engagedness  to  secure  my  salvation.  I  had  spent 
much  time  in  reading  accounts  of  Christian  expe- 
rience, and  those  which  lay  down  the  marks  and  evi- 
dences of  true  religion,  such  as  'Owen  on  Spiritual 
Mindedness,'  'Edwards  on  the  Affections,'  'Guth- 
rie's Trial  of  a  Saving  Interest  in  Christ,'  'New- 
ton's Letters,'  '  Pike  and  Hay  ward's  Cases  of  Consci- 
ence,' &c.  I  also  conversed  much  with  old  and  ex- 
perienced Christians,  as  well  as  with  those  of  my  own 
age.  But  all  these  having,  as  it  then  seemed  to  me, 
very  little  facilitated  my  progress,  and  the  evils  of  my 
heart  seeming  .rather  to  increase,  I  hastily  resolved  to 
lay  aside  all  books,  except  the  Bible,  and  to  devote 
my  wiiole  time  to  prayer  and  reading,  until  I  expe- 
rienced a  favourable  change.  In  pursuance  of  this 
purpose,  I  withdrew  into  a  deeply  retired  spot,  where 
I  knew  I  should  be  free  from  all  intrusion  from  mor- 
tals, and  began  my  course  of  exertion  with  fasting 
and  strong  resolution  never  to  relinquish  my  eflbrts, 
until  I  found  relief.  For  five  or  six  hours  I  was  en- 
gaged alternately  in  reading  the  Scriptures  and  at- 
tempting to  pray;  but  the  longer  I  continued  these 
exercises,  the  harder  did  my  heart  become,  and  the 
more  wretched  my  feelings,  until  at  length  I  was 
exhausted  and  discouraged,  and  began  to  despair  of 
help,  and  was  about  returning  from  my  chosen  retire- 
ment, in  gloomy  despondence,  when  it  occurred  to 
me  with  peculiar  force,  that  if  I  found  I  could  do  no- 
thing to  help  myself,  yet  I  might  call  upon  God  for 
mercy.  Accordingly,  I  fell  down  before  him,  and 
said  little  more  than  is  contained  in  the  publican's 
prayer,  'God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner;'  but  this  I 
uttered  with  a  deep  and  feeling  conviction  of  my  utter 
helplessness.  The  words  were  scarcely  out  of  my 
mouth,  when  God  was  pleased  to  give  me  such  a 
manifestation  of  his  love  in  the  plan  of  redemption 
through  Christ,  as  filled  me  with  wonder,  love,  and 
joy.  Christ  did  indeed  appear  to  me  as  altogether 
lovely,  and  I  was  enabled  to  view  Him  as  my  Saviour, 


144 


THOUGHTS    ON 


and  to  see  that  his  sufferings  were  endured  for  me. 
At  no  time  before  had  I  the  full  assurance  of  being  in 
the  favour  of  God;  but  now  every  doubt  of  this  was 
dissipated.  I  could  say,  for  the  first  time  with  un- 
wavering confidence,  '  My  beloved  is  mine,  and  I 
am  his,'  And  this  assurance  of  God's  favour  arose 
not  from  any  suggestion  or  impulse  directly  made  to 
my  mind,  but  from  the  clear  view,  that  Christ,  as  a 
Saviour,  was  freely  offered,  and  from  a  conscious 
assurance,  that  I  did  truly  accept  the  offer.  I  now 
opened  my  Bible  and  began  to  read  at  the  18th  chap- 
ter of  John  and  onward.  Every  word  and  sentiment 
appeared  glorious.  I  seemed  to  be  reading  a  book 
which  was  perfectly  new,  and,  truly,  the  sacred  pages 
seemed  to  be  illuminated  with  celestial  light.  And 
I  rejoiced  to  think  that  the  Sacred  Scriptures  would 
always  be  read  in  the  same  manner.  How  little  did 
I  know  of  the  spiritual  warfare!  After  my  feelings 
had  a  Httle  subsided,  but  while  the  glorious  truths  of 
the  Gospel  were  still  in  full  view,  I  made  a  formal 
and  solemn  dedication  of  myself  to  God,  the  Father, 
Son,  and  Holy  Spirit;  and  having  writing  materials 
with  nie,  I  wrote  down  the  substance  of  this  covenant, 
and  subscribed  it  with  my  hand. 

"I  now  believed,  assuredly,  that  I  was  reconciled 
to  God  through  Jesus  Christ;  but  being  naturally  in 
dined  to  be  suspicious  of  myself,  I  resolved  to  make 
the  Holy  Scriptures  the  test  of  the  genuineness  of  my 
exercises,  and  to  leave  the  final  determination  to  the 
fruits  produced,  as  our  Lord  says,  'By  their  fruits  ye 
shall  know  them.'  I  remembered  that  it  was  writ- 
ten, that  faith  works  by  love  and  purifies  the  heart. 
I  hoped,  therefore,  that  I  should  now  be  delivered 
from  those  evils  of  the  heart  with  which  I  had  been 
lately  so  much  affected.  But,  alas!  in  a  few  days, 
I  found  that  the  'old  man'  was  not  dead,  but  had 
power  to  struggle  in  a  fearful  manner.  I  must 
acknowledge,  therefore,  that,  after  a  few  weeks,  I 
was  much  in  the  same  spiritual  condition  in  which 
I  was  before  this  remarkable  manifestation." 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  145 

Here  the  narration  breaks  off  abruptly.  It  will  not 
escape  the  notice  of  the  attentive  reader,  that  in  this 
account  all  circumstances  are  avoided  which  could 
lead  to  the  discovery  of  the  writer.  The  true  reason 
of  this,  I  have  reason  to  believe  is,  that  the  writer  is 
still  alive,  and  has  no  desire  to  be  made  conspicuous. 
It  would  be  attended  with  no  advantage  to  explain 
by  what  means  this  imperfect  narrative  came  into 
my  possession.  The  use  which  I  make  of  it  is  not 
contrary  to  the  wishes  of  the  writer,  while  the  injunc- 
tion is  peremptory,  that  no  hint  shall  be  given  to  the 
public,  by  which  it  may  be  conjectured  who  it  is. 

It  may  be  remarked,  in  the  first  place,  on  this  nar- 
rative, that  sometimes  persons  are  brought  along  very 
gradually  in  their  acquisition  of  the  knowledge  of  the 
truth.  One  discovery  is  made  at  one  time,  and  an- 
other truth  is  revealed  at  another  time;  and  between 
these  steps  there  may  be  a  long  interval.  It  may 
again  be  remarked,  that  commonly  before  a  person 
comes  to  the  knowledge  of  a  truth,  the  need  of  infor- 
mation is  sensibly  felt;  and  the  appropriate  means  of 
communicating  it  are  provided.  A  book,  a  sermon, 
a  casual  conversation,  may  be  intimately  connected 
with  our  salvation.  Those,  who  commence  a  religi- 
ous life,  though  they  may  appear  sincere,  should 
always  be  urged  to  go  forward;  there  is  much  before 
them  which  they  have  not  yet  experienced.  If  they 
are  not  yet  in  the  right  way  they  may  arrive  at  it. 
In  looking  over  the  various  exercises  here  detailed,  I 
am  utterly  at  a  loss  to  say  when  the  work  of  grace 
commenced.  Perhaps,  scarcely  any  two  persons, 
taken  at  random,  would  agree  in  this  point;  for,  while 
some  would  scarcely  admit,  that  there  was  any  exer- 
cising of  saving  faith  until  the  last  manifestation  here 
described,  others  would  be  for  carrying  back  to  the 
very  beginning  of  the  exercised  soul's  serious  atten- 
tion to  religion.  However  this  matter  may  be  deci- 
ded, one  thing,  I  think,  is  evident,  that  it  is  a  great 
practical  error  to  suppose,  that  nothing,  connected 
essentially  with  the  sinner's  conversion,  is  experien- 
ced or  done,  until  the  moment  of  his  conversion.    He 


146  THOUGHTS    ON 

may  have  to  unlearn  many  erroneous  opinions,  taken 
up  through  prejudice  or  inclination.  He  must  learn 
the  truth  of  the  Christian  rehgion,  if  unhappily  he 
has  adopted  skeptical  notions.  He  must  learn  to 
know  what  the  Bible  teaches,  as  to  man's  duty,  and 
the  true  method  of  salvation.  God's  methods  of 
bringing  his  chosen  into  the  paths  of  truth  and  holi- 
ness are  often  wonderful.  They  are,  at  every  step, 
led  in  a  way  which  they  knew  not.  How  remarka- 
bly true  is  this,  as  it  relates  to  conviction  of  sin? 
When  the  sinner  is  most  convinced,  he  thinks  he  has 
no  conviction  at  all.  And  in  regard  to  conversion, 
what  a  different  thing  does  it  turn  out  to  be  in  expe- 
rience, from  what  it  was  conceived  to  be  beforehand. 
Whilst  the  anxious  saint  was  expecting  something 
miraculous,  or  entirely  out  of  the  way,  he  experi- 
ences a  new  train  of  thought,  new  and  pleasing  views 
of  truth,  with  corresponding  emotions,  by  which  the 
mind  is  so  occupied,  that  it  has  no  time  nor  inclina- 
tion to  scrutinize  the  nature  or  cause  of  these  pleas- 
ing exercises.  He  believes  and  hopes  without  asking 
himself  the  question,  are  these  the  views  and  feelings 
of  a  renewed  soul?  Afterwards,  he  can  look  back 
and  see  that  faith  was  exercised  in  these  very  acts, 
and  that  the  peace  which  he  then  enjoyed  was  the 
peace  of  reconciliation  through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ. 
But  when  the  love  of  God  is  shed  abroad  in  the  heart 
by  the  Holy  Ghost,  as  described  in  the  last  part  of 
this  narrative,  the  distressed  soul  is  made  sensible  at 
once  of  its  happy  state,  and  is  made  to  rejoice  in  the 
smiles  of  the  divine  favour.  Then  he  can  no  more 
doubt  that  God  is  reconciled  and  has  lifted  upon  him 
the  light  of  his  countenance,  than  that  the  sun  is  shining 
at  mid-day.  All  Christians,  however,  are  not  favoured 
with  these  bright  discoveries,  but  always  walk  in  a 
degree  of  darkness,  or  at  best  in  a  mere  crepuscular 
light;  yet  they  fear  the  Lord  and  obey  the  voice  of 
his  servants.  I  have  known  instances  of  some  per- 
sons changing  their  opinion  of  the  time  of  their  own 
conversion,  several  times,  and  fixing  it  at  different 
periods  of  their  experience,  as  their  sentiments  be- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  147 

came  more  correct  and  mature;  and  those  converts 
who  shine  forth  more  brightly  at  first,  are  not  always 
they  who  appear  best  after  the  lapse  of  years. 

The  following  narrative  of  the  experience  of  Sir 
Richard  Hill,  written  by  himself,  is  found  in  his  life, 
by  the  Rev.  Edwin  Sidney,  and  has  been  inserted  in 
the  Christian  Observer  of  London,  for  September, 
1839.  We  make  no  apology  for  its  length,  as  we  are 
confident  that  all  who  have  a  taste  for  this  kind  of 
reading,  will  be  gratified  to  have  the  whole  of  this 
interesting  account,  without  curtailment. 

"It  would  not  be  an  easy  matter  for  me  to  ascer- 
tain the  time,  when  the  first  dawnings  of  divine  light 
began  to  break  in  upon  my  soul;  but  I  remember 
particularly  that,  when  I  was  about  eight  or  nine 
years  of  age,  being  then  at  a  neighbouring  school,  and 
repeating  the  catechism  one  Sunday  evening  with 
some  other  boys,  to  the  master,  I  found  my  heart 
sweetly  drawn  up  to  heavenly  objects,  and  had  such 
a  taste  of  the  love  of  God,  as  made  every  thing  else 
appear  insipid  and  contemptible.  This  was  but  a 
transitory  glimpse  of  the  heavenly  gift;  and  I  was  no 
sooner  withdrawn  with  the  rest  of  my  school-fellows, 
tlian  my  religious  impressions  vanished,  and  I  return- 
ed to  folly  with  the  same  eagerness  as  before.  But 
God  did  not  leave  me  to  myself;  I  had  frequent  checks 
of  conscience,  and  the  thoughts  of  death  sometimes 
came  forcibly  into  my  mind.  I  remained  about  two 
years  at  the  school  before  mentioned,  after  which  I 
was  removed  to  Westminster,  where  my  convictions 
still  pursued  me,  and  forced  me  to  several  superficial 
repentances  and  resolutions;  but  these,  being  all  made 
in  my  own  strength,  soon  came  to  nothing. 

"  When  I  had  been  about  four  or  five  years  at  West- 
minster, I  was  to  be  confirmed  with  several  more  of 
my  school-fellows.  I  looked  upon  this  as  going  into 
a  new  state,  and  therefore  made  the  most  solemn 
resolutions  of  becoming  a  new  creature.  But,  alas! 
my  happiness  and  conversion  were  far  from  begin- 
ning here,  as  I  had  fondly  imagined.  The  adversary, 
now  finding  that  he  was  not  likely  to  make  me  con- 


148 


THOUGHTS    ON 


tiniie  any  longer  in  a  state  of  practical  wickedness  by 
his  former  stratagems,  began  to  attack  me  on  another 
side,  viz.  by  suggesting  horrible  doubts  concerning 
the  very  fundamentals  of  all  religion — as  the  being  of 
a  God — the  immortality  of  the  soul,  and  the  divine 
origin  of  the  Scriptures.  I  endeavoured  to  reason 
myself  into  the  belief  of  these  truths,  but  all  in  vain. 
However,  I  thought  I  might  easily  get  some  book 
that  should  convince  me  of  their  certainty.  Accord- 
ingly, I  borrowed  Dr.  Beveridge's  Private  Thoughts, 
of  a  clergyman's  widow,  with  whom  I  boarded,  she 
having  first  read  to  me  a  few  pages  in  that  excellent 
work.  It  was,  to  the  best  of  my  remembrance,  whilst 
she  was  reading,  that  such  glorious  instantaneous 
light  and  comfort  were  difiiised  over  my  soul,  as  no 
tongue  can  express;  the  love  of  God  was  shed  abroad 
in  my  heart,  and  I  rejoiced  with  joy  unspeakable  and 
full  of  glory.  However,  these  comforts,  I  think,  did 
not  last  above  half  an  hour  at  most,  but  went  off  by 
degrees,  when  the  same  doubts  succeeded;  upon 
which  I  again  had  recourse  to  Bishop  Beveridge's 
Thoughts,  or  to  conversation  on  the  subject  of  reli- 
gion ;  and  for  several  times,  as  I  did  this,  I  experienced 
the  same  manifestations  of  divine  love,  which  were 
sometimes  of  longer,  sometimes  of  shorter  duration. 

"At  length  I  began  to  be  tired  of  this  state  of  un- 
certainty, especially  as  the  comforts  I  had  before  felt  be- 
gan to  be  few  and  faint.  Add  to  this  the  bad  exam- 
ple of  my  school-fellows,  and  the  despair  I  began  to 
be  in  of  obtaining  satisfaction  of  the  truth  of  what  is 
called  natural  as  well  as  revealed  religion,  contributed 
not  a  little  to  make  me  lay  aside  my  inquiries,  and  to 
fall  into  many  sins  that  youth  and  strong  passions 
prompted  me  to;  and  this  I  did  with  the  more  eager- 
ness, as  I  was  desirous  of  laying  hold  of  every  op- 
portunity of  turning  my  thoughts  from  within  myself. 

"  I  believe  I  might  now  be  about  eighteen  years 
of  age,  when,  having  gone  through  the  school  at 
Westminster,  I  was  entered  at  Magdalen  College, 
Oxford,  where  I  continued  between  four  and  five 
years.     After  which  I  went  abroad  for  about  two 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


149 


years  more,  returning  to  England  in  1757,  being  then 
about  the  age  of  twenty-three  or  twenty-four.  During 
my  residence  at  Oxford  and  in  foreign  parts,  notwith- 
standing all  the  wretched  pains  I  took  to  lull  con- 
science asleep,  still  my  convictions  pursued  me;  yea, 
the  more  I  endeavoured  to  put  from  me  the  thoughts 
of  my  soul  by  drinking  deeper  draughts  of  iniquity, 
the  more  strongly  did  the  insulted  Spirit  plead  with 
me,  and  often  in  the  very  act  of  sin,  would  so  em- 
bitter my  carnal  gratifications  and  strike  me  with  such 
deep  remorse,  that,  oh!  horrid  to  think!  I  have  even 
been  ready  to  murmur,  because  God  would  not  let 
me  alone,  nor  suffer  me  to  sin  with  the  same  relent- 
less satisfaction  which  I  observed  in  my  companions. 
"But  He  that  hath  loved  me  with  an  everlasting 
love,  had  all  this  while  thoughts  of  mercy  towards 
me,  and  would  not  take  his  loving  kindness  utterly 
away  from  me.  He  therefore  waited  that  he  might 
be  gracious  unto  me,  and  followed  me  with  such  loud 
and  constant  convictions  as  often  brought  me  upon 
my  knees,  and  sometimes  forced  me  to  break  off  my 
sins  for  a  month,  or  a  quarter  of  a  year  together,  for, 
though  1  still  remained  full  of  doubts  as  to  the  truth 
of  religion,  yet  I  thought  that,  if  there  was  a  God 
and  a  future  state,  and  if  Jesus  Christ  was  indeed  the 
true  Messiah  and  the  author  of  eternal  salvation  to 
those  who  obey  him,  I  could  by  no  means  be  saved 
in  the  state  I  was  in;  and  that,  being  uncertain 
whether  these  things  were  so  or  not,  it  was  the 
highest  infatuation  to  leave  the  eternal  happiness  or 
misery  of  my  soul  at  a  peradventure,  especially  as  I 
could  be  no  loser  by  admitting  the  truths  of  religion, 
and  living  under  their  influence;  whereas,  were  I  to^ 
continue  in  sin  under  the  supposition  of  their  being 
false,  I  might  find  myself  fatally  mistaken,  when  it 
would  be  too  late  to  recant  or  retrieve  my  error. 
But,  notwithstanding  I  came  to  this  conclusion,  and 
plainly  saw  its  reasonableness,  yet  were  my  religious 
fits  of  no  long  continuance,  but  every  temptation  that 
offered  itself  hurried  me  impetuously  away,  and  I 
became  seventimes  more  the  child  of  hell  than  before. 


150  THOUGHTS    ON 

Nevertheless,  every  new  fall  increased  my  anguish  of 
spirit,  and  set  me  upon  praying  and  resolving;  inso- 
much, that  I  frequently  bound  myself  under  the  most 
solemn  imprecations. 

"But  alas!  alas!  I  was,  all  this  while,  as  igno- 
rant of  my  own  weakness,  as  of  Him  on  whom  my 
strength  was  laid;  and  therefore  no  wonder  all  my 
attempts  to  make  myself  holy,  were  attended  witli  no 
better  success  than  if  I  had  tried  to  wash  the  Ethio- 
pian white,  and  answered  no  other  end  than  to  dis- 
tress my  soul  a  thousand  times  more  than  if  I  had 
never  made  such  solemn  vows;  for,  all  this  while,  I 
had  no  other  notion  of  religion  than  that  it  consisted 
in  something  which  I  was  to  do  in  order  to  make 
God  amends  for  my  past  sins,  and  to  please  him  for 
the  time  to  come,  in  consideration  of  which  I  should 
escape  hell  and  be  entitled  to  everlasting  life. 

"In  this  manner  I  went  on  vowing  and  breaking 
my  vows,  sinning,  and  repenting,  till  my  most  mer- 
ciful God  and  Saviour,  seeing  that  all  his  gracious 
calls  would  not  overrule  the  horrible  perverseness 
of  my  will,  instead  of  giving  me  up,  as  in  just  judg- 
ment he  might  have  done,  or  pronouncing  against  me 
that  dreadful  sentence,  'Cut  it  down,  why  cumbereth 
it  the  ground?' — I  say,  instead  of  this,  he  began  to 
deal  with  me  after  a  far  more  violent  method  than  he 
had  hitherto  done,  filling  my  soul  with  the  most  un- 
imaginable terrors,  insomuch  that  I  roared  for  the 
very  disquietness  of  my  heart.  The  arrows  of  the 
Almighty  stuck  fast  in  me,  the  poison  whereof  drank 
up  my  spirits,  and  the  pains  of  hell  gat  hold  upon  me. 

"  From  this  time,  which  was  about  October,  1757, 
I  may  say  that  sin  received  its  mortal  blow,  (1  mean 
its  reigning  power,  for  God  knows  the  body  of  sin 
yet  is  far  from  being  done  away,)  and  I  set  myself  to 
work  with  all  the  earnestness  of  a  poor  perishing 
mariner,  who  is  every  moment  in  expectation  of 
shipwreck.  I  fasted,  prayed,  and  meditated;  I  read 
the  Scriptures,  communicated,  and  gave  much  alms. 
But  these  things  could  bring  no  peace  to  my  soul;  on 
the  contrary,  I  now  saw,  what  I  never  had  seen  be- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


151 


fore,  that  all  my  works  were  mixed  with  sin  and  im- 
perfection. Besides  this,  Satan  furiously  assaulted 
me  with  suggestions  that  I  had  committed  the  upar- 
donable  sin  against  the  Holy  Ghost;  and  had  let  my 
day  of  grace  slip;  that  therefore  my  prayers  were 
cast  out  of  God,  and  were  an  abomination  to  him, 
and  that  it  was  too  late  to  think  of  mercy,  when  it 
was  the  time  of  judgment. 

"  It  is  beyond  the  power  of  conception,  much  more 
of  expression  to  form  an  idea  of  the  dreadful  agonies 
my  poor  soul  was  now  in.  What  to  do,  or  to  whom 
to  have  recourse,  I  knew  not;  for,  alas,  I  had  no  ac- 
quaintance with  any  body  who  seemed  to  have  the 
least  experience  in  such  cases.  However,  those 
about  me  showed  the  greatest  concern  for  my  situa- 
tion, and  offered  their  remedies  for  my  relief,  such  as 
company,  physic,  exercise,  &c.,  which,  in  order  to 
oblige  them,  I  complied  with;  but  my  disorder  not 
being  bodily,  but  spiritual,  was  not  to  be  removed  by 
these  carnal  quackeries,  as  they  were  soon  convinced. 

«'  I  recollected,  however,  that  once,  if  not  oftener, 
the  Rev.  Mr.  Fletcher,  then  tutor  to  two  neighbouring 
young  gentlemen,  but  since  vicar  of  Madely,  in  this 
county,  had,  in  my  hearing  been  spoken  of  in  a  very 
disrespectful  manner,  for  things  which  seemed  to  me 
to  savour  of  a  truly  Christian  spirit.  I  therefore  de- 
termined to  make  my  case  known  to  him,  and  ac- 
cordingly wrote  him  a  letter,  without  mentioning  my 
name,  giving  him  some  account  of  my  situation,  and 
begging  him  for  God's  sake,  if  he  had  a  word  of 
comfort  to  offer  to  my  poor,  distressed,  despairing 
soul,  to  meet  me  that  very  night  at  an  Inn  in  Salop, 
in  which  place  I  then  was.  Though  Mr.  Fletcher 
had  four  or  five  miles  to  walk,  yet  he  came  punctually 
to  the  appointment,  and  spoke  to  me  in  a  very  com- 
fortable manner,  giving  me  lo  understand  that  he  had 
very  different  thoughts  of  my  state  from  what  I  had 
myself  After  our  discourse,  before  he  withdrew,  he 
went  to  prayer  with  me;  and  among  other  petitions 
that  he  put  up  in  my  behalf,  he  prayed  that  I  might 
not  trust  in  my  own  righteousness,  which  was  an  ex- 


152 


THOUGHTS    ON 


pression,  that,  though  I  did  not  ask  him  its  import,  I 
knew  not  well  what  to  make  of. 

"  After  my  conversation  with  Mr.  Fletcher,  I  was 
rather  easier,  but  this  decrease  of  my  terrors  was  but 
for  a  few  days'  duration;  for,  though  I  allowed  that 
the  promises  and  comforts  he  would  have  me  apply 
to  myself  belonged  to  the  generality  of  sinners,  yet  I 
thought  they  were  not  intended  for  me,  who  had  been 
so  dreadful  a  backslider,  and  who,  by  letting  my  day 
of  grace  slip,  had  sinned  beyond  the  reach  of  mercy. 
Besides  I  concluded  that  they  could  be  made  effectual 
to  none  but  such  as  had  faith  to  apply  them;  whereas 
I  had  no  faith,  consequently  they  could  avail  me  no- 
thing. I  therefore  wrote  again  to  Mr.  F.,  telling  him, 
as  nearly  as  I  can  remember,  that  however  others 
might  take  comfort  from  the  Scripture  promises,  I 
feared  none  of  them  belonged  to  me,  who  had  cruci- 
fied the  Son  of  God  afresh,  and  sinned  wilfully  after 
having  received  the  knowledge  of  the  truth.  1  told 
him  also,  that  I  found  my  heart  to  be  exceeding  hard 
and  wicked;  and  that,  as  all  my  duties  proceeded 
from  a  slavish  dread  of  punishment,  and  not  from  the 
principles  of  faith  and  love,  and  were  withal  so  very- 
defective,  I  thought  it  was  impossible  God  should 
ever  accept  them.  In  answer  to  this,  the  kind  and 
sympathising  Mr.  F.  immediately  wrote  me  a  sweet 
and  comfortable  letter,  telling  me  that  the  perusal  of 
the  account  I  had  given  him  had  caused  him  to  shed 
tears  of  joy  to  see  what  great  things  the  Lord  had 
done  for  my  soul,  in  convincing  me  experimentally  of 
the  insufficiency  of  all  my  own  doings  to  justify  me 
before  God,  and  of  the  necessity  of  a  saving  faith  in 
the  blood  of  Jesus.  He  also  sent  me  '  The  Life  and 
Death  of  Mr.  Halyburton,  Professor  of  Divinity  in 
the  University  of  St.  Andrews,'  which  book  I  read 
with  the  greatest  eagerness,  as  the  account  Mr.  H. 
therein  gives  of  himself,  seemed  in  a  very  particular 
manner  to  tally  with  my  own  experience.  I  there- 
fore thought  that  what  had  been,  might  be;  that  the 
same  God  who  had  showed  himself  so  powerfully, 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  153 

on  the  behalf  of  Mr.  H.,  and  deUvered  him  out  of  all 
his  troubles,  was  able  to  do  the  same  for  me. 

"  You  will  wonder  how  I  could  hold  out  under  all 
these  pressures;  the  half  of  which,  I  might  say,  has 
not  been  told;  and  indeed  it  was  impossible  I  could 
have  held  out,  had  it  not  been  that,  at  those  very- 
times  when  I  thought  all  was  over  with  "me,  there 
would,  now  and  then,  dart  in  upon  me  some  com- 
fortable glimmering  of  hope,  which  kept  me  utterly 
from  fainting. 

"In  this  situation  I  continued  from  September  1757, 
to  January  175S,  when  the  Vinerian  Professor  of 
Oxford  being  to  read  a  course  of  lectures  upon  the 
Common  Law,  I  resolved  to  set  out  for  that  place, 
not  through  any  desire  I  had  to  attend  the  lectures, 
for  I  had  no  heart  for  any  such  thing,  but  because  I 
knew  I  should  have  chambers  to  myself  in  college, 
and  thereby  have  an  opportunity  of  being  much 
alone, and  of  giving  way  to  those  thoughts,  with  which 
my  heart  was  big,  as  also  of  seeking  the  Lord  with 
greater  diligence,  if  peradventure  I  might  find  him. 
Accordingly,  when  I  arrived  at  the  University,  though 
to  save  appearances,  I  dragged  my  body  to  several  of 
the  lectures,  yet  my  poor  heavy-laden  soul  engrossed 
all  my  attention;  and  so  sharp  was  the  spiritual  an- 
guish I  laboured  under,  that  I  scarcely  saw  a  beggar 
in  the  streets,  but  I  envied  his  happiness,  and  would 
most  gladly  have  changed  situations  with  him,  had 
it  been  in  my  power.  0,  thought  I,  these  happy 
souls  have  yet  an  offer  of  mercy,  and  a  door  of  hope 
open  to  them,  but  it  is  not  so  with  me;  I  have  re- 
jected God  so  long,  that  now  God  has  rejected  me  as 
he  did  Saul;  my  day  of  grace  is  past,  irrecoverably 
past,  and  I  have  forever  shut  myself  out  of  all  the 
promises. 

"All  this  while,  one  thing  that  greatly  astonished 
me  was,  to  see  the  world  about  me  so  careless  and 
unconcerned,  especially  many  that  were  twice  my 
age  amongst  the  Doctors  of  Divinity,  and  fellows  of 
the  college.  Surely,  thought  I,  these  people  must  be 
infatuated  indeed,  thus  to  mind  earthly  things  and  to 


154  THOUGHTS    ON 

follow  the  lusts  of  the  flesh,  when  an  eternity  of  hap- 
piness or  misery  is  before  them,  when  they  know  not 
how  short  a  time  they  have  to  live,  and  their  ever- 
lasting state  depends  on  the  present  moment. 

"  It  was  now  the  season  of  Lent,  the  first  or  second 
Sunday  in  which,  the  sacrament  of  the  Lord's  Supper 
is  always  administered  in  Magdalen  College  Chapel. 
I  therefore  besought  the  Lord  with  strong  cryings, 
that  he  would  vouchsafe  me  some  token  for  good, 
some  sense  of  his  love  towards  me,  and  willingness 
to  be  reconciled  to  me,  that  I  might  wait  upon  him  at 
his  table  without  distraction,  and  partake  of  those 
blessings  which  that  ordinance  is  instituted  to  convey 
to  the  souls  of  true  believers. 

"  And  0,  for  ever  and  for  ever  blessed  be  his  holy 
name,  he  did  not  reject  the  prayer  of  the  poor  desti- 
tute; he  heard  me  what  time  the  storm  fell  upon  me, 
and,  I  make  no  doubt,  had  heard,  and,  in  his  purpose 
at  least,  answered  me,  from  the  first  day  he  inclined 
my  heart  to  understand,  and  to  seek  after  him.  But 
he  knew  better  than  I  did  myself,  when  it  was  meet 
to  speak  peace  to  my  soul,  and  therefore  waited  that 
he  might  be  gracious  unto  me;  first,  in  order  to  con- 
vince me  the  more  deeply  of  the  exceeding  sinfulness 
of  sin,  and  the  desert  thereof;  secondly,  to  show  me 
more  experimentally  my  own  weakness  and  the  in- 
sufficiency of  any  righteousness  of  my  own  to  recom- 
mend me  to  his  favour;  thirdly,  to  make  me  prize 
more  highly,  and  hunger  and  thirst  more  earnestly, 
for  Jesus  Christ,  and  the  salvation  that  is  in  him. 
These  ends  being  in  some  measure  answered,  on 
Saturday,  February  18th,  to  the  best  of  my  remem- 
brance, the  night  before  the  sacrament,  it  pleased  the 
Lord,  after  having  given  me,  for  a  few  days  before, 
some  taste  of  his  love,  first  to  bring  riie  into  a  com- 
posed frame  of  spirit,  and  then  to  convey  such  a  tho- 
rough sense  of  his  pardoning  grace  and  mercy  to  my 
poor  soul,  that  I,  who  was  just  before  trembling  upon 
the  brink  of  despair,  did  now  rejoice  with  joy  un- 
speakable and  full  of  glory!  The  love  of  God  was 
shed  abroad  in  rny  heart  through  the  Holy  Ghost  that 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIKNCE. 


155 


was  given  unto  me,  even  that  perfect  love  which 
casteth  out  fear;  and  the  Spirit  itself  bore  witness 
with  my  spirit  that  I  was  a  child  of  God. 

"  For  some  time  after  these  sensible  manifestations 
of  God's  love  were  withdrawn,  my  mind  was  com- 
posed and  my  hope  lively;  but  I  had  still,  at  seasons, 
secret  misgivings  and  many  doubts  as  to  the  reality 
of  my  conversion,  which  put  me  seriously  to  examine 
my  state,  whether  the  Scripture  marks  of  a  work  of 
grace  were  really  to  be  found  in  me  or  not;  and  in 
these  examinations  I  had  great  help  from  those  ex- 
cellent books,  Guthrie's  Trial  of  a  Saving  Interest  in 
Christ,  and  Palmer's  Gospel  New  Creature.  Add  to 
this,  that  being  now  in  London,  I  had  there  the  oppor- 
tunity of  hearing  that  faithful  minister  of  Christ,  the 
Rev.  Mr.  Romaine,  whose  discourses  were  so  exactly 
descriptive  of,  and  adapted  to,  my  own  experience, 
that  they  afforded  me  a  good  confirmation  that  I  was 
indeed  passed  from  death  unto  life,  and  from  the 
power  of  Satan  unto  God. 

"During  my  stay  in  London,  it  pleased  God  to 
make  me  acquainted  with  many  of  his  people,  to 
whom  my  heart  was  immediately  knit  with  the 
closest  affection;  yea,  so  great  was  my  love  to  all 
those,  in  whom  I  discerned  the  Divine  image  of  the 
Lord  Jesus,  that  the  yearnings  of  Joseph's  heart  to- 
wards his  brethren  will  but  very  faintly  express  it. 
Be  they  who  or  what  they  would,  high  or  low,  rich 
or  poor,  ignorant  or  learned,  it  mattered  not;  if  I  had 
reason  to  believe  they  were  born  of  God  and  made 
partakers  of  a  divine  nature,  they  were  equally  dear  to 
me;  my  heart  was  open  to  receive  them  without  re- 
serve, and  I  enjoyed  the  sweetest  fellowship  and 
communion  with  them,  whilst  all  other  company  was 
insipid  and  irksome. 

"For  about  two  years  after  this,  I  was,  in  a  good 
measure,  relieved  from  those  piercing  terrors  and  that 
deep  distress  with  which  I  was  before  overwhelmed. 
This, you  will  say,  was  living  upon  frames  and  experi- 
ences, more  than  upon  the  exceeding  great  and  pre- 
cious promises  made  to  returning  sinners  in   Christ 


156 


THOUGHTS    ON 


Jesus.  It  is  true  it  was  so,  and  of  this  God  soon  con- 
vinced me;  for  I  now  began  to  doubt  whether  these 
great  comforts  I  had  set  so  high  a  value  upon,  might 
not  be  all  delusion,  or  proceed  from  the  workings  of 
my  own  spirit;  and  if  so,  my  case  was  just  as  bad  as 
ever.  My  day  of  grace  might  still  be  past,  and  no- 
thing yet  remain  for  me  but  'a  fearful  looking  for  of 
judgment  and  fiery  indignation.' 

"This  was  in  April,  1759,  soon  after  my  return 
from  London  into  Shropshire,  where  I  had  not  been 
long  before  I  wrote  to  Mr.  Fletcher,  giving  him  an 
account  of  my  state.  After  this  it  pleased  the  Lord 
to  remove  my  burthen,  and  to  exchange  these  sharp 
terrors  of  the  spirit  of  bondage,  for  the  sweet  reviving 
comforts  of  the  spirit  of  adoption,  showing  me  the 
rich  treasures  of  Gospel  promises,  and  that  they,  and 
not  my  own  frames,  were  to  be  the  ground  of  my 
hope  and  my  stay  in  every  time  of  need.  Since  this 
time,  I  may  say  with  Bishop  Covvper,  that  my  soul 
has  never  experienced  the  like  extremity  of  terror; 
and  though  I  have  had  many  ups  and  downs,  many 
grievous  temptations  and  sharp  conflicts,  much  aridi- 
ty of  soul,  deadness,  and  strong  corruptions  to  fight 
against,  yet  have  I  always  found  the  Lord  to  be  a 
very  present  help  in  trouble;  his  grace  has  been  suffi- 
cient for  me  in  every  hour  of  need,  and  I  doubt  not 
but  all  his  dealings  with  me,  however  thwarting  to 
my  own  ideas  of  what  was  fit  and  meet  for  me,  have 
some  way  or  other  been  subservient  to  my  spiritual 
interest,  since  his  most  sure  promise  is  that  all  things 
work  together  for  good,  to  them  that  love  God  'and' 
are  the  called  according  to  his  purpose." 


CHAPTER  X. 

Imperfect  sanctification. — The  spiritual  warfare. 

It  may  be  difficult  to  account  for  the  fact,  that  when 
the  power  of  God  was  as  sufficient  to  make  the  sin- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  157 

ner  perfect,  in  the  new  creation,  as  to  implant  a  prin- 
ciple of  spiritual  life,  he  should  have  left  the  work 
imperfect;  and  that  this  imperfection,  according  to 
our  views  of  Scripture,  and  of  the  fact  as  made 
known  by  experience,  should  continue  through  the 
whole  period  of  human  life,  to  whatever  extent  it  may- 
be protracted.  Some,  indeed,  seem  to  suppose,  that 
the  remainders  of  sin  in  believers  are  seated  in  the 
body,  and  therefore  as  long  as  this  sinful  body  conti- 
nues, this  inbred  corruption  will  manifest  itself,  more 
or  less.  This  opinion  seems  to  have  been  imbibed,  at 
a  very  early  period  of  the  history  of  the  church,  and 
was  probably  derived  from  the  Platonic  philosophy, 
which  considers  matter  to  be  the  origin  of  evil.  From 
this  view  of  the  seat  of  indwelling  sin,  men,  in  all 
ages,  who  entertained  it,  have  been  led  to  lay  great 
stress  on  fasting  and  other  bodily  austerities,  by  which 
the  body  was  enfeebled  and  emaciated.  But,  the 
principle  assumed  being  false,  all  that  is  built  upon  it 
must  be  false  likewise.  The  body,  though  infected 
with  the  pollution  of  sin,  through  its  connexion  with 
the  soul,  is  not,  and  cannot  be  the  source  of  iniquity. 
Mere  matter,  however  curiously  organized  and  ani- 
mated, is  apart  from  the  soul,  no  moral  agent,  and 
therefore  not  susceptible  of  moral  qualities.  Sin  must 
have  its  origin  and  seat  in  the  free  ratienal  soul,  arsd 
the  appetites  and  passions,  which  have  their  seat  in 
the  body,  partake  of  the  nature  of  sin,  by  their  excess 
and  irregularity,  and  by  their  cravings,  often  influence 
the  will  to  choose  that  which  is  not  good,  or  is  not  the 
best.  Still,  however,  the  body  is  a  great  clog  to  the 
soul,  and  the  appetites  and  passions,  which  are  seated 
in  the  body,  being  very  urgent  in  their  cravings  for 
gratification,  greatly  disturb  the  exercises  of  piety, 
and  sometimes  prevail  against  the  higher  principles 
which  by  grace  have  been  implanted.  As  the  body 
is  also  subject  to  various  diseases,  these,  on  account 
of  the  close  connexion  between  the  soul  and  body, 
mightily  aff"ect  the  mind,  and  often  create  a  great  hin- 
derance  to  devotion,  and  the  exercises  of  piety. 

Where  two  opposite  principles  exist  in  the  same 
11 


158 


THOUGHTS    ON 


soul,  there  must  be  a  perpetual  conflict  between 
them,  until  "the  weaker  dies."  But  as  the  "old 
man,"  though  crucified,  never  becomes  extinct  in  this 
life,  this  warfare  between  the  flesh  and  spirit  never 
ceases  until  death.  As  these  opposite  moral  princi- 
ples operate  through  the  same  natural  faculties  and 
aflections,  it  is  a  matter  of  course,  that  as  the  one  gains 
strength,  the  other  must  be  proportionably  weakened; 
and  experience  teaches  that  the  most  effectual  way 
to  subdue  the  power  of  sin,  is,  to  cherish  and  exer- 
cise the  principle  of  holiness.  But,  if  the  love  of  God 
grows  cold,  or  declines  in  vigour,  then  the  motions  of 
sin  become  more  lively,  and  the  stirring  of  inbred  cor- 
ruption is  sensibly  experienced.  Just  then,  in  the  same 
proportion,  will  the  principle  of  evil  be  diminished, 
as  the  principle  of  grace  is  strengthened.  Every  vic- 
tory, over  any  particular  lust,  weakens  its  power;  and 
by  a  steady  growth  in  grace,  such  advantage  is  ob- 
tained over  inbred  sin,  that  the  advanced  Christian 
maintains  the  mastery  over  it,  and  is  not  subject  to 
those  violent  struggles  which  were  undergone  when 
this  warfare  commenced.  Young  Christians,  how- 
ever, are  often  greatly  deceived  by  the  appearance  of 
the  death  of  sin,  when  it  only  sleeps,  or  deceitfully 
hides  itself,  waiting  for  a  more  favourable  opportunity 
to  exert  itself  anew.  When  such  an  one  experiences, 
in  some  favoured  moment,  the  love  of  God  shed 
abroad  in  his  heart,  sin  appears  to  be  dead,  and  those 
lusts  which  warred  against  the  soul,  to  be  extin- 
guished; but  when  these  lively  feelings  have  passed 
away,  and  carnal  objects  begin  again  to  entice,  the 
latent  principle  of  iniquity  shows  itself;  and  often 
that  Christian  who  had  fondly  hoped  that  the  enemy 
was  slain  and  the  victory  won,  and  in  consequence, 
ceased  to  watch  and  pray,  is  suddenly  assailed  and 
overcome  by  the  deceitfulness  of  sin.  Christians  are 
more  injured  in  this  warfare,  by  the  insidious  and 
secret  influence  of  their  enemies  lulling  them  into  the 
sleep  of  carnal  security,  than  by  all  their  open  and 
violent  assaults.  No  duty  is  more  necessary,  in  main- 
taining this  conflict,  than  watchfulness.     Unceasing 


RELICI0T7S    EXPERIENCE.  1  59 

vigilance  is  indispensable.  "Watch  and  pray  that 
ye  enter  not  into  temptation," — "and  what  I  say  unto 
you,  I  say  unto  all,  watch."  Lawful  pursuits  are 
more  frequently  a  snare  than  those  which  are  mani- 
festly sinful.  It  is  a  duty  "to  provide  things  honest 
in  the  sight  of  all  men,"  but  whrie  this  object  is  in- 
dustriously pursued,  the  love  of  the  world  gradually 
gains  ground.  The  possession  of  wealth  is  viewed  as 
important.  Eternal  things  are  out  of  view,  or  viewed 
as  at  a  great  distance,  and  the  impression  from  them 
is  faint.  Wordly  entanglements  and  embarrassments 
are  experienced;  the  spiritual  life  is  weakened.  A 
sickly  state  commences,  and  a  sad  declension  ensues. 
Alas!  for  the  Christian  now.  Where  is  the  burning 
zeal  with  which  he  commenced  his  course?  Where 
now  are  the  comforts  of  religion,  with  which  he  was 
so  entirely  satisfied,  that  the  world  was  viewed  as  an 
empty  bauble?  Where  now  is  his  spirit  of  prayer, 
which  made  this  duty  his  delight?  Where  his  love  of 
the  Bible,  which  drew  him  aside  often  from  wordly 
business  to  peruse  its  sacred  instructions?  0!  what  a 
change!  Reader,  it  is,  perhaps, tliy  own  case.  "Thou 
art  the  man"  who  has  tlius  fallen,  and  left  thy  first 
love.  "  Repent,  therefore,  and  do  the  first  works," 
lest  some  heavy  judgment  fall  upon  thee.  God  holds 
a  rod  for  his  own  children,  and  when  the  warnings 
and  exiiortations  of  the  word,  and  the  secret  whis- 
pers of  the  Spirit  are  neglected,  some  painful  provi- 
dence is  sent — some  calamity,  which  has  so  much 
natural  coimexion  with  the  sin,  as  to  indicate  that  it 
is  intended  as  a  chastisement  for  it.  These  strokes 
are  often  very  cutting  and  severe,  but  they  must  be  so 
to  render  them  effectual.  "'No  chastening  for  the 
present,  seemeth  to  be  joyous,  but  grievous,  never- 
theless, afterward  it  yieldeth  the  peaceable  fruit  of 
righteousness  unto  them  which  are  exercised  there- 
by." Our  heavenly  Father  afflicteth  not  willingly, 
but  "  for  our  profit,  that  we  might  be  partakers  of  his 
holiness."  The  followers  of  Dr.  Hawker,  in  England, 
who  are  ultra  Calvinists,  entertain  the  opinion,  that 
"the  law  in  our  members"  is  not,  in  the  least,  affected 


160  THOUGHTS    ON 

or  weakened,  by  our  regeneration  or  sanctification, 
but  that  through  life,  it  remains  the  very  same,  no 
how  weakened  in  its  strength,  by  any  progress  in  the 
divine  life  which  the  Cln'istian  may  make.  But  this 
is  contrary  to  the  word  of  God,  which  speaks  of 
"dying  daily  unto  sin" — of  "mortifying  the  deeds  of 
the  body" — "crucifying  the  flesh,"  &c.  The  same 
opinion,  or  one  near  akin  to  it,  was  held  by  Mr. 
William  Walker,  of  Dublin,  which  he  brings  to  view 
in  his  able  "address  to  the  Wesleyan  Methodists." 
His  opinion,  however,  I  think,  was,  that  there  is  no 
such  thing  as  a  progressive  work  of  sanctification 
which  word  properly  means  a  consecration  to  God. 

In  a  former  chapter,  I  mentioned  the  different  views 
of  different  denominations  of  Christians  respecting  the 
nature  of  the  soul's  exercises  in  conversion,  but  this 
difference  is  far  more  considerable  as  it  relates  to  the 
spiritual  conflict  and  sanctification.  It  is  far  from  the 
wish  of  the  writer  to  give  offence  to  any  body  of 
Christians,  much  less  to  provoke  controversy.  This  is 
no  proper  field  for  controversy.  In  the  midst  of  this 
militant  state,  there  ought  to  be  one  peaceful  ground, 
where  all  true  followers  of  Jesus  might  sit  down  to- 
gether and  compare  their  experiences  of  the  loving 
kindness  and  faithful  dealings  of  tlieir  Lord  and  Mas- 
ter. But  surely  it  ought  not  to  be  offensive  to  any 
body  of  Christians  simply  to  state  what  their  views 
are  in  regard  to  experimental  religion,  and  how  far 
they  agree  or  differ  from  those  of  other  Christians. 
If  there  be  mistakes,  or  erroneous  views,  on  any  side, 
they  should  be  considered  and  corrected.  And  the 
writer  of  these  essays  will  be  thankful  to  any  one 
who  will  kindly  point  out  any  mistakes  in  regard  to 
matters  of  fact  into  which  he  may  happen  to  fall. 
There  has  long  been  a  difference  of  opinion  respect- 
ing the  true  interpretation  of  the  seventh  chapter  of 
the  epistle  to  the  Romans,  respecting  Paul's  descrip- 
tion of  the  spiritual  conflict,  whether  he  describes  the 
exercises  of  a  convinced  sinner,  whom  he  personates; 
or  whether  he  does  not  express  honestly  the  feelings 
of  his  own  heart,  and  describe  the  painful  conflict  be- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  161 

tvveen  the  powers  of  sin  and  holiness  which  was  go- 
ing on  in  his  own  bosom.  The  latter,  undoubtedly, 
is  the  obvious  meaning,  for  the  apostle  speaks  in  the 
first  person,  and  gives  no  notice  of  introducing  a  per- 
son of  another  character;  and  some  of  the  expres- 
sions here  employed,  are  as  strongly  descriptive  of  a 
regenerate  heart  as  any  in  the  Bible.  Who,  but  a  re- 
generate man,  can  say,  "  I  delight  in  the  law  of  God 
after  the  inward  man  !"  And  the  closing  words  show 
clearly  enough,  that  the  apostle  was  detailing  the 
exercises  of  his  own  soul;  for  he  give  thanks  to  God 
for  giving  him  the  victory,  in  this  severe  conflict,  but 
still  intimates  that  the  two  irreconcilable  principles 
continued,  according  to  their  respective  natures,  to 
operate  within  him.  "  I  thank  God,  through  Jesus 
Christ  our  Lord.  So  then,  with  the  mind,  I  myself 
serve  the  law  of  God,  but  with  the  flesh,  the  law  of 
sin.''  Arminius  began  his  career  of  departure  from 
the  commonly  received  opinions  of  the  reformed 
churches,  by  writing  a  book  in  exposition  of  the  vii. 
of  the  Romans;  and  it  is  a  remarkable  coincidence 
that  Faustus  Socinus,  in  Poland,  was  engaged  at  the 
same  time  in  writing  a  book  on  the  same  subject,  and 
to  support  the  same  views.  Tliis  subject  is  excel- 
lently treated  in  one  of  President  Dickinson's  Letters; 
and  more  largely  by  "  Frazer  on  Sanctification."  The 
same  subject  is  also  treated  accurately  and  judiciously 
by  Dr.  Hodge,  in  his  commentary  on  the  Epistle  to 
the  Romans.  It  is  understood  that  the  followers  of 
Mr.  John  Wesley,  hold,  in  conformity  with  his  re- 
corded opinion,  that  sanctification  is  not  a  gradual 
and  progressive  work,  which  remains  imperfect  in 
the  best,  in  this  life,  but  that,  like  regeneration,  it  is 
instantaneous,  and  that  the  result  is  a  complete  de- 
liverance from  indwelling  sin;  so  that  from  that  mo- 
ment they  are  perfectly  holy,  and  sin  no  more — unless 
they  fall  from  this  high  state  of  grace — in  thought, 
word,  or  deed.  Here  then  there  can  be  no  similarity 
between  the  religious  experience  of  an  Arminian, 
who  has  attained  sanctification,  and  a  Calvinist,  who 
is  seeking  to  grow  in  grace  and  in  the  knowledge  of 


162  THOUGHTS    ON 

our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.  The  one  is  conscious  of  no 
sin,  inward  or  outward,  of  nature  or  of  act,  and  must 
have  perpetual  joy — a  heaven  on  earth;  while  the 
other  is  groaning  under  a  deep  sense  of  inherent  de- 
pravity, wiiich  works  powerfully  against  his  will,  and 
continually  interrupts  and  retards  his  progress.  His 
frequent  language  is,  "  0  wretched  man  that  I  am, 
who  shall  deliver  me  from  the  body  of  this  death!" 
Here,  indeed,  we  have  a  wide  difference  in  the  reli- 
gious experience  of  professing  Christians;  and  it  must 
be  acknowledged,  that  if  the  experience  of  the  Ar- 
minian  is  in  accordance  with  the  word  of  God,  he 
has  greatly  the  advantage  over  the  contrite,  broken 
hearted  penitent,  whose  complaints  are  so  great  that 
they  often  cause  him  to  wet  his  couch  with  tears. 
How  to  reconcile  these  widely  different  views  of  our 
condition  as  sanctified  sinners,  I  know  not.  There 
must  be  a  grand  mistake  somewhere;  and  I  sincerely 
pray  to  God,  that  if  my  views  on  this  subject  are 
erroneous,  they  may  be  corrected! 

The  Christian  is  a  soldier,  and  must  expect  to  en- 
counter enemies,  and  to  engage  in  many  a  severe 
conflict.  The  young  convert  may  well  be  likened  to 
a  raw  recruit  just  enlisted.  He  feels  joyous  and 
strong,  full  of  hope  and  full  of  courage.  When  the 
veteran  Christian  warns  him  of  coming  dangers  and 
formidable  enemies,  and  endeavours  to  impress  on 
his  mind  a  sense  of  his  weakness  and  helplessness 
without  divine  aid,  he  does  not  understand  what  he 
says.  He  apprehends  no  dangers  or  enemies  which 
he  is  not  ready  to  face,  and  is  ready  to  think  that  the 
aged  disciples,  with  whom  he  converses,  have  been 
deficient  in  courage  and  skill,  or  have  met  with  ob- 
stacles which  are  now  removed  out  of  the  way.  He 
views  the  contests,  of  which  they  speak,  as  the  young 
soldier  does  the  field  of  battle  at  a  distance,  while  he 
is  enjoying  his  bounty-money,  and  marches  about 
with  a  conscious  exultation,  on  account  of  his  mili- 
tary insignia,  and  animated  with  martial  music. 
The  young  Christian  is  commonly  treated  by  his 
Lord  with  peculiar  tenderness.     He  is  like  the  babe, 


RELIGIOUS     EXPERIENCE. 


163 


dandled  on  the  knee,  and  exposed  to  no  hardships. 
His  frames  are  Uvely,  and  often  joyous,  and  he  hves 
too  much  upon  them.     His  love  to  the  Saviour  and 
to  the  saints  is  fresh  and  fervent,  and  his  religious 
zeal,  though   not  well   regulated    by  knowledge,  is 
ardent.     He  often  puts  older  disciples  to  the  blush 
by  the  warmth  of  his  affections,  and  his  alacrity  in 
the  service  of  his  Redeemer,  and  it  is  well,  if  he  does 
not  sometimes  indulge  a  censorious  spirit,  in  judging 
those  who  have  been  long  exercised  in  the  spiritual 
life.     This  is  indeed  the  season  of  his  "first  love" 
which  began  to  flow  in  the  day  of  his  espousals;  and 
though  occasionally  dark  clouds  intercept  his  views, 
these   are  soon  forgotten,  when   the  clear  sunshine 
breaks  forth  to  cheer  him  on  his  way.     During  this 
period  he  delights  in  social  exercises,  especially  in 
communion  with  those  of  his  own  age,  and  hi  prayer, 
and  in  praise,  and  spiritual  conversation,  his  heart  is 
lifted  up  to  heaven,  and  he  longs  for  the  time,  when 
he  may  join  the  songs  of  the  upper  temple.    But  ere 
long  the  scene  changes.     Gradually  the  glow  of  fer- 
vent affections  subsides.     Worldly  pursuits,  even  the 
most  lawful  and  necessary,  steal  away  the  heart;  and 
various  perplexing  entanglements  beset  the  inexperi- 
enced traveller.     He  begins  to  see  that  there  v/ere 
many  things  faulty  in  his  early  course.     He  blames 
his  own  weakness  or  enthusiasm;   and,  in  avoiding 
one  extreme  he  easily  falls  into  the  opposite,  to  which 
human  nature  has  a  strong  bias.    He  enters  into  more 
intercourse  with  the  world,  and,  of  course,  imbibes  in- 
sensibly some  portion  of  its  spirit.   This  has  a  deaden- 
ing efi'ect  on  his  religious  feelings;  and  his  devotions 
are  less  fervent  and  less  punctual;  and  far  more  inter- 
rupted with  vain,  wandering  thoughts,  than  before; 
and  he  is  apt  to  fall  into  a  hasty  or  formal  attendance 
on  the  daily  duties  of  the  closet;  and  a  little  matter  will 
sometimes  lead  him  to  neglect  these  precious  seasons 
of  grace.     A  strange  forgetfulness  of  the  presence  of 
God,  and  of  his  accountableness  for  every  thought, 
word,  and  action,  seizes  upon  him.    Close  self-exami- 
nation becomes  painful,  and  when  attempted,  is  un- 


164 


THOUGHTS    ON 


successful.  New  evils  begin  to  appear  springing  up 
in  the  heart.  The  imagination,  before  he  is  aware, 
is  filled  with  sensual  imagery,  which  affording  carnal 
pleasure,  the  train  of  his  thoughts  is  with  difficulty- 
changed.  A  want  of  prompt  resolution  is  often  the 
occasion  of  much  guilt,  and  mucii  unhappiness.  Pride 
is  sure  to  lift  its  head  when  God  is  out  of  view;  and 
it  is  wonderful  how  this  and  kindred  evils  will  get 
possession  and  grow,  so  as  to  be  visible  to  others, 
while  the  person  himself  is  not  aware  of  the  disease. 
Anger,  impatience,  fretfulness,  envy,  undue  indul- 
gence of  the  appetites,  love  of  riches,  fondness  for 
dress  and  show,  the  love  of  ease,  aversion  to  spiritual 
duties,  with  numerous  similar  and  nameless  evils  are 
now  bred  in  the  heart,  and  come  forth  to  annoy 
and  retard  the  Christian  in  his  course.  His  pride 
makes  him  unwilling  to  open  his  ear  to  friendly  and 
fraternal  reproof;  such  words  fall  heavily  on  him, 
and  wound  his  morbid  sensibility,  so  that  a  conflict 
takes  place  between  a  sense  of  duty  and  unmortified 
pride.  He  inwardly  feels  that  the  rebuke  of  a  brother 
is  just  and  should  be  improved  to  the  amendment  of 
the  evil  pointed  out;  but  pride  cannot  brook  the 
thought  of  being  exposed  and  humbled;  and  he  tries 
to  find  something  in  the  manner  or  circumstances 
which  can  be  censured;  or  suspicion  will  ascribe  it 
to  a  bad  motive.  If  in  this  spiritual  conflict,  pride 
should  gain  the  victory,  alas  how  much  sin  follows 
in  its  train; — resentment  towards  a  kind  brother,  hy- 
pocrisy in  concealing  the  real  dictates  of  conscience, 
and  approbation  of  the  inner  man ;  and  a  neglect  of 
all  efforts  at  improvement.  The  person  thus  circum- 
stanced, is  instinctively  led  to  endeavour  to  persuade 
himself  that  he  has  done  right.  Still,  however,  the 
language  of  his  better  part  is  that  of  self-condemna- 
tion. But  he  hushes  it  up,  and  assumes  an  air  of 
innocence  and  boldness,  and  thus  the  Spirit  is  griev- 
ed. Who  can  describe  the  train  of  evils  which  ensue, 
on  one  defeat  of  this  kind?  The  mind  becomes  dark 
and  desolate;  conmiunion  with  God  is  interrupted, 
and  a  course  of  backsliding  commences,  which  some- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  165 

times  goes  on  for  years,  and  then  the  wanderer  is  not 
arrested  and  brought  back  without  severe  chastise- 
ment. In  such  cases  the  judgments  of  God  against 
his  own  straying  children  are  fearful;  and  if  any 
experience  them  not,  who  have  thus  dechned,  it  is 
because  they  are  not  children,  "for  what  son  is  he 
whom  the  father  chasteneth  not?" 

Worldly  prosperity  has  ever  been  found  an  un- 
favourable soil  for  the  growth  of  piety.  It  blinds  the 
mind  to  spiritual  and  eternal  things,  dries  up  the 
spirit  of  prayer,  fosters  pride  and  ambition,  furnishes 
the  appropriate  food  to  covetousness,  and  leads  to  a 
sinful  conformity  to  the  spirit,  maxims,  and  fashions 
of  the  world.  Some  few  have  been  enabled  to  pass 
this  ordeal,  without  serious  injury;  and  have  come 
forth  like  the  three  children  from  Nebuchadnezzar's 
furnace,  without  the  smell  of  fire  on  iheir  garments; 
but  this  could  not  have  been  unless  the  Son  of  Man 
had  been  with  them.  Such  persons  use  all  their 
health,  influence,  and  wealth  in  promoting  the  king- 
dom of  Christ;  but  generally,  God  in  mercy,  refuses 
to  give  worldly  prosperity  to  his  children.  He  hath 
chosen  the  poor  of  this  world,  rich  in  faith ;  that  is, 
he  liath  commonly  chosen  poverty  as  the  safest  con- 
dition for  his  children.  His  are  "an  afflicted  and 
poor  people,  and  they  shall  trust  in  the  name  of  the 
Lord."  But  the  poor  have  their  conflicts  and  temp- 
tations, as  well  as  the  rich.  They  are  continually 
tempted  to  discontent,  to  envy  at  the  prosperity  of  the 
rich,  and  sometimes  to  use  unlawful  means  to  satisfy 
their  craving  wants.  On  account  of  the  dangers  of 
both  these  conditions,  Agur  prayed,  "  Give  me  neither 
poverty  nor  riches;  feed  me  with  food  convenient  for 
me;  lest  I  be  full  and  deny  thee,  and  say,  who  is  the 
Lord;  or  lest  I  be  poor  and  steal  and  take  the  name 
of  my  God  in  vain."  But  in  whatever  state  Provi- 
dence has  placed  us,  we  should  therewith  be  content. 
Certainly  when  Christians  make  haste  to  be  rich, 
they  are  not  governed  by  the  wisdom  which  cometh 
from  above.  No  wonder  that  they  pierce  themselves 
through  with  many  sorrows,  and  are  often  in  danger 


166 


THOUGHTS    ON 


of  eternal  perdition.  If  we  sought  wealth  from  no 
other  motive  but  to  use  it  for  God's  glory,  it  would 
do  us  no  harm;  for  this  principle  would  regulate  the 
pursuit;  so  that  it  would  not  be  detrimental  to  the 
kingdom  of  God  within  us. 

The  enemies  of  the  Christian  have  been  commonly 
divided  into  three  classes,  the  world,  the  flesh,  and  the 
devil;  but  thougli  these  may  be  conceived  of,  and 
spoken  of  separately,  they  resist  the  Christian  soldier 
by  their  combined  powers.  The  devil  is  the  agent, 
the  world  furnishes  the  bait  or  the  object  of  tempta- 
tion, and  the  flesh,  or  our  own  corrupt  nature,  is  the 
subject  on  which  the  temptation  operates.  Some- 
times, indeed,  Satan  injects  his  fiery  darts,  enkindled 
in  hell,  to  frighten  the  timid  soul,  and  drive  it  to  des- 
pair; but  in  this  he  often  overshoots  his  mark,  and 
drives  the  poor  trembHng  soul  nearer  to  his  Captain, 
whose  broad  shield  aff"ords  ample  protection.  And 
we  are  not  to  suppose  that  we  are  not  often  led  as- 
tray by  the  enticements  of  sin  within  us,  without  the 
aid  of  Satan;  but  we  need  not  be  afraid  of  charging 
too  much  evil  upon  this  arch  adversary.  He  is  ever 
on  the  alert,  and  is  exceedingly  cautious  in  his  ap- 
proaches. Long  experience  has  doubtless  greatly 
increased  his  power  and  subtlety,  unless  he  should  bo 
more  restrained  than  formerly.  Some  people  make  a 
mock  of  Satan's  temptations,  as  though  they  were  the 
dreams  of  superstitious  souls.  Not  so  Paul,  and 
Peter,  and  John — not  so  Luther,  and  Calvin,  and 
Zuingle.  Not  so  any  who  understand  the  nature  of 
the  spiritual  warfare.  It  is  to  the  great  injury  of 
many  professors,  that  they  are  not  constantly  on  the 
watch  against  the  wiles  of  the  devil.  If  you  wish 
to  know  where  he  will  be  likely  to  meet  you,  I 
would  say,  in  your  closet,  in  the  church,  on  your  bed, 
and  in  your  daily  intercourse  with  men.  A  single 
thought  which  suddenly  starts  up  in  your  mind,  will 
show  that  the  enemy  is  near,  and  is  suggesting  such 
thoughts,  as  without  his  agency  never  can  be  ac- 
counted for.  "  Watch,  therefore,"  "  resist  the  devil, 
and  he  will  flee  from  vou." 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.     "  167 


CHAPTER  XI. 


Narrative  of  G A S ,  an  Episcopal  Clergyman. — Narra 

live  of  a  young  Officer  in  the  Army. 

The  following  is  the  religious  experience  of  G 

A S ,  an  Episcopal  Clergyman   in  H- 


which  he   recently  communicated  to   the  author  of 
these  essays,  to  be  used  as  he  might  think  proper. 

"  I  entered  the  military  academy  at  West  Point,  in 
the  summer  of  1825;  the  second  year  of  the  present 
Bishop  Mcllvaine's  residence  there  as  chaplain.  I 
sat  under  his  preaching  'as  with  the  Spirit  of  God,' 
with  eyes  that  did  not  see,  and  ears  that  did  not  hear. 
The  Bishop  departed,  the  curse  was  still  upon  my 
soul.  Finally,  I  became  much  involved  in  the  spirit 
of  infidelity,  together  with  several  others.  One  even- 
ing, in  particular,  I  trembled  at  the  thoughts  of  our 
conversation:  in  the  darkness  of  our  minds,  we  had 
denied  all.  A  few  days  afterwards,  one  of  my  com- 
panions, noted  for  his  brightness  of  intellect,  called  at 
my  room,  and  said,  I  have  been  reading 's  '  Evi- 
dences of  the  Christian  Religion,'  and  it  has  almost 
persuaded  me  to  be  a  Christian.  I  well  remember 
with  what  great  delight  I  received  the  communica- 
tion, resolving  to  get  the  book,  and  '  see  if  those  things 
were  so;'  not  however,  with  any  view  or  desire  of 
becoming  a  Christian,  at  present.  In  due  time,  the 
book  was  procured,  I  retired  to  my  room,  my  heart  as 
hard  as  tlie  mill-stone,  the  heavens  over  my  head  as 
brass,  and  the  earth  beneath  my  feet  as  iron.  I 
opened  to  the  introduction,  the  most  blind  of  unbe- 
lievers; all  around  me  were  perfect  clouds  and  dark- 
ness. I  began  to  read,  I  had  proceeded  half  way- 
through  the  introduction,  and  ivas  suddenly  im- 
pressed^ that  the  religion  of  Christ  tvas  of  God.  I 
did  not  doubt  its  truth  more  than  I  did  my  life:  yet  I 
was  entirely  without  argument.  At  that  time  I  could 
have  given  no  reason,  yet  I  did  not  doubt.  I  felt 
a  perfect  belief  that  an   Omnipresent  Spirit  did  it. 


168  THOUGHTS    ON 

Before,  I  hardly  believed  there  was  a  God:  now  I  felt 
it  as  by  a  two-edged  sword.  It  was  a  most  awfully 
sublime  moment;  yet  I  had  not  the  least  fear.  I  did 
not  even  think  of  sin.  The  next  impression  was, 
that  I  was  undergoing  a  conversion.  This,  I  would 
not  then:  the  thought  was  very  pleasant,  that  now  I 
knew  Christ  died  for  the  world;  and  that  at  some 
future  time,  I  would  go  further  in  his  love.  I  was 
happy,  sublime;  no  terror;  a  thought  did  not  enter  my 
mind  of  the  consequence  of  delay.  To  avoid  the 
progress  of  conversion,  I  threw  down  the  book  per- 
fectly satisfied,  for  I  had  attained  to  one  of  the  most 
splendid  pieces  of  consciousness  imaginable;  a  sight 
beyond  the  veil,  within  eternity,  worth  thousands  of 
worlds  to  me.  I  turned  to  think  of  something  else. 
And  oh!  the  horrors  of  hell,  how  they  came  flooding 
in  upon  my  soul.  I  felt  that  an  Omnipotent  hand 
was  guiding  them  there.  Commensurate  with  my 
agony,  was  my  awful  sense  of  sinfulness;  a  convic- 
tion of  sin,  righteousness,  and  judgment  to  come,  rose 
before  my  eyes  in  immense  reality.  I  felt  no  anguish, 
no  fear,  no  sin,  until  I  resolved  not  to  attend  to  these 
things  at  present.  My  anguish  of  soul  became  in- 
supportable, it  thickened  and  darkened,  I  could  not 
endure  it  longer.  And  ivith  the  sole  ^;^e^^  of  escaping 
my  present  misery,  I  resolved  to  yield  to  the  will  of 
that  Mighty  Being  who  was  rending  my  soul.  I  in- 
stantly caught  up  the  book,  and  offered  a  prayer  for 
mercy.  The  intensity  of  my  anguish  began  immedi- 
ately to  subside.  The  wrath  of  God  seemed  to  miti- 
gate, in  a  few  moments,  I  settled  down  into  a  state  of 
deep  and  solemn  conviction  ofsiji;  a^tate  more  tolera- 
ble than  the  former;  but  still  one  ^  gloom  so  thick 
that  it  could  be  felt.  A  mountain  weight  pressed 
upon  my  soul;  how  to  remove  it  I  knew  not,  for  the 
spirit  still  held  me  bound.  I  did  not  know  but  this 
was  to  continue  through  life.  I  endeavoured  to  lose 
my  feelings,  and  feel  at  ease,  but  I  could  not.  I  knew 
nothing  of  the  way  of  salvation;  I  had  no  spiritual 
guide;  but  in  order  to  keep  my  present  sorrow  as 
light  as  possible,  I  continued  to  read  and  pray  for 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  IGO 

mercy.  Thus  I  continued  in  the  wilderness  for  about 
a  week:  when,  sitting  by  my  fireside,  dwelling  upon 
my  despair,  a  sudden  light  came  down  from  heaven; 
I  saw  the  open  gate—'  the  wai/,  the  trui/i,  and  the 
{{A' — a  new  song  was  put  into  my  mouth,  and  I  re- 
joiced with  joy  unspeakable,  and  full  of  glory !  Un- 
speakable gratitude  be  to  the  Father,  Son,  and  Holy 
Ghost,  forever  and  ever.'  I  have  thought  that  two 
particulars  in  the  above  are  worthy  of  notice.  1st. 
The  motives  that  actuated  me.  2d.  Tiiat  being  per- 
fectly ignorant  of  the  way  of  salvation,  the  Spirit  was 
a  perfect  teacher." 

There  are  several  things  very  remarkable  in  the 
preceding  narrative.  The  delight  at  finding  an  infidel 
companion  convinced,  or  almost  convinced  of  his 
error;  the  desire  to  see  the  book  which  had  produced 
this  effect;  the  sudden  persuasion  of  the  truth  of  the 
Christian  religion,  by  a  sudden  impression  on  the 
mind,  the  elevated  happiness  experienced  on  account 
of  having  discovered  the  truth,  the  determination  still 
not  to  become  a  Christian  at  present,  the  liorror  and 
anguish  consequent  on  this  resolution,  the  relief  ob- 
tained by  resuming  attention  to  religion,  and  finally, 
the  discovery  of  the  way  of  salvation  through  Christ' 
when  the  moment  before,  no  idea  was  entertained  of 
such  a  way,  are  all  remarkable  circumstances;  and  to 
some,  may  seem  to  savour  of  enthusiasm.  But  we 
cannot  prescribe  limits  to  the  Holy  Spirit,  in  his  ways 
of  leading  benighted  souls  into  the  path  of  life.  Still, 
it  may  be  asked,  Iiow  could  there  be  a  rational  con- 
viction of  the  truth  of  Christianity,  when  the  individ- 
ual knew  no  reasons  or  arguments  in  favour  of  it? 
To  which  it  may  be  answered,  that  Christianity  has 
a  light  of  its  own,  independent  of  all  external  evi- 
dences; and  if  the  Spirit  of  God  cause  one  ray  of  this 
divine  light  to  irradiate  the  mind  the  truth  becomes 
manifest.  This  person  was  on  the  borders  of  athe- 
ism. By  an  awful  impression  on  his  mind,  God 
caused  him  to  feel  and  know  that  He  existed,  and 
held  him  in  his  hand;  and  at  the  same  time,  let  a  ray 
of  light  from  Divine  Revelation  into  his  mind.     Sup- 


170  THOUGHTS    ON 

pose  a  number  of  human  beings  to  be  educated  in  a 
dark   cavern,   where   they    never  saw    the   light   of 
heaven;  but  being  visited  by  one  and  another  who 
testified  to  them  the  existence  of  the  celestial  lumi- 
naries, the  candid  among  them,  upon  weighing   the 
evidence,  would  acknowledge  the  existence  of  such 
bodies;  although,  of  necessity,  their  conceptions  of 
these  objects  would  be  very  inadequate.     But  some, 
depending  on  their  own  reason,  might  reject  the  testi- 
mony as  a  mere  fabrication,  since  what   was  related 
was  totally  contrary  to  all  their  own  experience.  Sup- 
pose then  that  the  guardian    of  these  subterranean 
inhabitants,   should  take  one  of  these  skeptics  to  a 
point  where  a  single  ray  of  light  from  the  sun  should 
be  let  in  upon  his  eyes,  how  wonderful  the  sensation, 
how  sublime  the  emotion,  how  strong  now  the  per- 
suasion of  the  existence  of  such  a  bright  luminary ! 
The  doubts  of  such  an  one,  however  deep  and  invet- 
erate, would  be  dissipated  in  a  moment ;  not  by  ar- 
gument;   where    we   possess   intuition,   argument  is 
superfluous.     So,  in  the  case   before  us,  one  ray  of 
divine  light  produced  instantaneously,  the  undoubted 
persuasion  of  the  divine  existence,  and  that  the  Chris- 
tian religion  was  from  God.     The  next  ray  of  light 
opened  to  the  astonished  view  of  the  man,  the  awful 
sinfulness  of  his  character,  and  discovered  to  him  that 
he  was  in  the  hands  of  an  angry  God,  from  whose 
terrors  he  could  not  escape;  and  the  third  cast  a  clear 
light  on  the  way  of  salvation,  filling  the  soul  with 
joy  unspeakable.     The  only  thing  which  seems  con- 
trary to  our  common  theory  is,  that  the  person  sup- 
posed, that  he  was  taught  the  method  of  salvation  by 
the  Spirit  without  any  aid  from  the  external  teaching 
of  the  word.     Now,   this   is   very  possible;    but   it 
would  be  of  the  nature  of  inspiration  and  not  mere 
illumination.     I  am,  therefore,  of  opinion,  that  there 
was  within  the  knowledge  of  the  individual  so  much 
acquaintance  with  Christ  and  his  mediatorial  work, 
that,  agreeably  to  his  usual  method,  the  Spuit  took  of 
the  things  of  Christ,  and  showed  it  unto  him.     And 
ahhough  now,  when  inspiration  has  ceased,  the  Spirit 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  171 

makes  no  new  revelations  to  men;  yet  he  often  brings 
to  tlieir  remembrance  trutlis  once  known,  bnt  which 
may  have  been  long  forgotten.  According  to  John 
xiv.  26:  see  also  xvi.  8 — 14.  One  single  evangelical 
text  may  be  made  the  object  of  saving  faith. 

It  is  exceedingly  gratifying  to  be  made  acquainted 
with  such  cases.  It  shows  that  the  Holy  Spirit,  who 
operates  where  and  when  he  will,  is  often  at  work 
on  the  minds  of  those  whom  we  would  least  sus- 
pect to  be  thus  visited.  Here  a  thoughtless  cadet 
at  our  military  academy,  falls  into  infidelity,  yea,  athe- 
ism; is  surrounded  by  companions  in  the  same  state 
of  mind.  Providence  throws  a  book  of  "  Evidences" 
in  his  way;  and,  while  he  reads,  a  new  light  darts 
into  his  mind;  not  from  the  book,  but  from  the  Father 
of  lights,  and  this  infidel  young  man  becomes  a 
preacher  of  that  very  gospel,  which  he  aimed  to  de- 
stroy.    Latjs  Deo. 

The  writer  of  the  following  narrative,  is  a  young 
officer  of  high  promise,  belonging  to  the  American 
army.  It  is  a  pleasing  thing  to  find  that  men,  who, 
by  their  profession,  are  commonly  far  removed  from 
the  usual  means  of  grace,  are  not  beyond  the  reach 
of  the  divine  mercy.  It  is  much  to  be  desired  that 
both  our  army  and  navy  should  be  supplied  with  a 
competent  number  of  pious  and  exemplary  chaplains; 
but  this  want  seems  to  be  very  little  felt,  and  therefore 
is  very  imperfectly  provided  for.  When  men  of  either 
of  these  professions  embrace  religion,  they  are  com- 
monly remarkable  for  the  eminence  of  their  piety.  The 
fact  is,  that  they  are  exposed  to  so  much  ridicule  and 
opposition,  that  unless  their  religious  impressions  were 
strong,  and  their  resolutions  firmly  fixed,  they  would 
not  be  able  to  stand  up  against  the  opposing  current. 

This  narrative  will  at  least  encourage  the  hearts  of 
pious  parents,  who  have  sons  in  exposed  situations, 
not  to  despair  of  their  conversion,  but  to  be  incessant 
in  their  prayers,  that  God  would  graciously  follow 
them  with  the  strivings  of  his  Holy  Spirit,  and  in  due 
season  bring  them  to  the  foot  of  the  cross.  And  may 
it  not  be  a  good  opportunity  to  remind  all  praying 


172  THOUGHTS    ON 

persons,  that  in  the  variety  of  their  intercessions,  the 
young  men  in  our  army  and  navy  should  not  be  for- 
gotten. As  long  as  such  institutions  are  needed,  they 
who  are  set  for  the  defence  of  our  country,  by  sea  and 
land,  should  not  be  forgotten  in  the  prayers  of  Chris- 
tians and  of  the  Church. 

"  I  entered  the  Military  Academy  in  1S28.  As  was 
customary  with  my  parents,  I  was  furnished  with  a 
Bible,  with  the  injunction  to  read  it  often,  and  make  it 
the  rule  of  my  life.  Like  most  other  youths,  however, 
I  kept  it  in  my  trunk;  and  I  blush  while  I  say  it,  I  do 
not  believe  that  during  the  whole  time  I  was  there, four 
years,  I  took  it  out  to  read  more  than  six  times;  and 
then,  probably,  I  had  a  desire  to,  if  I  did  not  actually 
conceal  the  act  from  my  room-mates  around  me.  How 
strange  the  aversion  to  that  good  Book,  and  yet  how 
general  this  antipathy  in  the  thoughtless  around  us! 
I  must  confess,  however,  that  though  my  aversion  to 
it  was  strong,  I  had  a  firm  belief  in  its  truth,  and 
though  in  such  a  body  of  young  men,  I  could  not,  but 
now  and  then,  hear  an  effort  on  the  part  of  one  or 
another  around  me,  to  convince  himself  of  its  untruth, 
yet,  I  must  say,  that  I  never  could  get  rid  of  the  fear 
of  God  in  my  heart,  or  of  the  firm  conviction  of  the 
truth  of  His  word.  Still,  however,  I  graduated  an 
impenitent  sitmer;  and  being  let  loose  from  scholastic 
restraint,  and  left  to  my  own  guidance,  like  most 
other  youths  under  the  same  circumstances,  I  fol- 
lowed the  ways  of  pleasure  and  worldly  gratification. 

"After  graduating,  in  1832,  I  went  home.  But, 
alas,  how  changed !  My  father  and  brother  had  both 
gone  during  my  absence,  to  that  bourne  from  which 
no  traveller  returns.  Their  spirits  had  fled — it  is 
hoped  to  heaven.  I  did  not  see  them  in  their  dying 
hours;  but  their  spirits,  though  gone,  still  speak.  I 
was  told  of  the  anxiety  they  both  expressed,  just 
before  death,  on  my  account;  and  in  particular  the 
reply  of  my  father,  to  the  question  asked  him,  if  he 
had  any  word  to  send  to  me:  'No,  only  to  read  my 
letters,'  was  his  reply.  Yes,  father,  I  have  read 
those  letters,  and  long  shall  they  be  treasured  up  in 


KELIGIOUS    EXPERIE^'CE. 


173 


recollection  of  thy  solicitude.  But  I  must  continue 
my  narrative.  Though  the  scenes  at  home,  this  visit, 
were  impressive,  yet  they  did  not  result  in  producing 
within  me  the  conviction  that  I  was  a  sinner.  I  left 
my  home  again  as  impenitent  as  I  had  come.  This 
time  my  sister  furnished  me  with  a  Bible,  with  the 
prayer  written  in  it,  that  I  '  would  make  it  the  rule  of 
my  conduct  and  the  guide  of  my  life.'  As  before,  I 
stowed  it  away  in  my  trunk;  thence  scarcely,  if  ever 
at  all,  to  come  out.  Probably  for  years  together,  I 
did  not  so  much  as  look  into  it,  and  during  all  this 
time,  except  when  at  home,  I  was  as  much  a  stranger 
to  the  church,  as  I  was  to  the  Bible.  Indeed,  what 
is  more  shameful,  in  1836,  I,  in  some  unaccountable 
way  lost  my  Bible;  so  that,  from  that  time  till  the 
latter  part  of  the  year  1838,  or  during  an  interval  of 
two  years,  I  was  entirely  without  one:  and  during 
all  tliis  time,  besides  having  no  Bible,  (I  did  not 
dream  of  buying  one,)  I  was  so  situated,  at  least  for 
much  the  greater  portion  of  the  time,  that  I  could  not 
have  access  to  any  church.  I  was  serving  with  the 
army,  against  the  Indians  at  the  South,  and  every 
one  knows  how  ill  calculated  an  active  life  in  the 
field  is  to  produce  serious  impression.  Still,  I  may 
say,  during  all  this  time  I  had  the  fear  of  God  before 
my  eyes;  though  not  to  the  extent  as  to  cause  me  to 
love  and  serve  Him,  or  to  cut  off  any  of  my  darling 
pleasures.  And  yet  how  good  the  Lord  was!  Though 
I  went  on  sinning,  day  after  day,  and  was  often 
thrown  into  discussion  with  infidels  around  me,  who 
strove  their  utmost  to  argue  or  laugh  me  out  of  what 
they  would  call  my  early  prejudices,  and  though  I 
indulged  in  reading  infidel  productions,  Tom  Paine's 
work  among  the  number,  yet  still  His  Spirit  would 
strive  with  me,  and  would  not  give  me  entirely  over 
to  my  own  devices. 

''  I  returned  North  in  the  fall  of  1 838,  and  again  saw 
my  widowed  mother;  she  who  had  nurtured  me  with 
a  Christian's  care,  and  had  early  instilled  into  me 
those  religious  principles  and  feelings,  which,  by  the 
grace  of  God,  had  never  been  entirely  lost  to  me,  and 

12 


174 


THOUGHTS    ON 


to  which  under  the  same  spiritual  influence,  I  must 
attribute  my  having  been  kept  from  utterly  falUng 
away.  I  saw  her  again,  exhibiting  as  before,  the 
chastening  influences  of  the  reHgion  she  professed. 
The  same  calm  and  resigned  countenance;  the  same 
sweet  smile  of  welcome,  still  showed  the  powerful 
influence  of  the  Holy  Spirit  upon  her  heart.  I  thought 
I  could  see  the  workings  of  her  feelings  in  my  behalf; 
and- 1  could  not  but  imagine  that  in  every  look  she 
gave  me,  she  ofl'ered  up  a  prayer  on  my  account. 

"I  lefther  for  a  station  North.  I  may  say  I  went  away 
this  time  with  better  feelings  than  I  ever  did  before.  I 
had  had,  by  this  time,  some  experience  of  the  world, 
and  had  already  thought  of  the  nothingness  of  its 
pleasures;  and,  besides,  the  calm,  peaceful,  and  happy 
deportment  of  my  mother,  made  me  anxious  to  be- 
come a  partaker  also  of  religion.  I  went  away  with  the 
firm  determination  of  at  least  looking  more  into  the 
Bible,  and  thus  to  take  the  first  step  towards  making 
myself  better.  Another  sister,  this  time,  on  my 
leaving  her,  presented  me  with  a  Testament.  This, 
when  I  got  to  my  station,  I  read,  or  attempted  to 
read,  every  evening.  I  tasked  myself  to  one  chapter. 
But  a  late  return  from  a  party,  or  ball,  would  cause 
me  to  defer  it  till  the  morning!  and  then  if  the  break- 
fast bell  should  arouse  me  from  my  slumbers,  I  would 
neglect  it  till  the  evening.  And  so,  between  the  par- 
ties and  balls,  and  indolence  in  the  morning,  my 
reading  of  the  Testament  was  very  irregular.  But 
still,  I  had  a  great  respect  for  religion,  and  admired 
the  truths  of  the  gospel.  I  would  always  uphold 
good  principles  of  conduct  in  those  around  me,  and 
wotild  as  often  reprobate  those  that  were  bad.  But 
all  my  ideas  of  virtue  were  founded  on  a  wrong  basis. 
I  believed  that  it  was  in  the  power  of  every  indivi- 
dual, of  himself,  to  do  good  and  eschew  evil.  And, 
therefore,  when  I  did  see  good  principles  in  those 
around  me,  my  admiration  was  upon  the  individual 
himself  and  not  upon  the  Holy  Spirit  which  restrained 
him;  and  when  I  saw  wickedness  in  those  aroimd 
me,  my   condemnation,  (and  my   self-righteousness 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  175 

could  not  make  it  too  strong,)  was  upon  the  indi- 
vidual, and  not  upon  the  sin  which  impelled  him. 

"But  still,  though  I  strongly  criticised  the  conduct  of 
others;  upholding  the  good  and  denouncing  the  bad; 
yet  I  felt  that  I  was  not  a  Christian,  in  the  Bible  sense 
of  the  term.  I  knew  this  from  my  utter  inability  to 
pray.  On  retiring,  I  had  often  attempted  to  realize 
the  overshadowing  presence  of  a  God  above  me;  but 
all  was  hard,  dark,  and  impenetrable.  I  could  not 
realize  the  existence  of  an  all  merciful  Saviour. 
During  all  this  time,  I  regularly  attended  divine  ser- 
vice, at  least  once  a  day,  every  Sunday.  I  was  de- 
lighted to  either  hear  or  read  a  good  sermon.  But  I 
heard,  or  read  it,  more  with*  the  feelings  of  a  critic 
than  of  an  humble  follower  of  the  lowly  Jesus,  desi- 
ring the  sincere  milk  of  the  Word.  And  so,  whenever 
the  preacher  expatiated  upon  the  beauties  of  virtue, 
though  I  received  pleasure  from  his  discourse,  yet  I 
had  none  of  the  consciousness  that  virtue  was  to  be 
followed  because  God  had  commanded  it;  but  because 
it  seemed  to  be  a  necessary  element  in  society;  and, 
perhaps,  because  its  votary  reciprocally  recommended 
himself  to  society,  by  its  pursuit.  I  recollect,  in  par- 
ticular, that  Dr.  Chalmer's  sermons  afforded  me  great 
satisfaction.  But  the  beautiful  imagery  in  them,  as 
well  as  his  elegant  diction,  probably  pleased  me  quite 
as  much  as  the  truths  he  inculcated, 

"  Things  went  on  in  this  way,  for  nearly  a  year, 
when  at  the  close  of  this  time,  I  began  to  feel  myself 
strongly  tempted  by  the  evil  one,  though,  at  the  lime, 
I  did  not  attribute  it  to  this  unseen  Spirit.  Probably, 
it  is  better  to  say,  (to  use  the  language  I  would  have 
then  used,)  I  was  uneasy,  discontented,  looked  at 
things  awry,  extracted  more  of  the  bitter  than  the 
sweet  from  the  things  and  circumstances  around  me; 
or,  in  other  words,  was  extremely  miserable.  I  could 
experience  no  joy  from  the  things  of  earth,  and  of  the 
joys  of  heaven,  I  knew  nothing  of  them. 

"But  thanks  to  a  good  and  righteous  God,  he  was 
pleased  to  let  me  into  this  state,  to  show  me  that  all 
my  hopes  of  happiness  from  earthly  things  were  vain. 


176  THOUGHTS    ON 

I  was  in  the  act  of  throwing  myself  on  the  settee, 
when  I  carelessly  took  up  the  Bible,  which  happened 
to  be  lying  near  me.  The  first  chapter  I  opened  at, 
was  the  1st  Epistle  general  of  Peter,  chapter  1st. 
But  how  shall  I  describe  my  feelings,  the  moment  I 
cast  my  eyes  upon  its  pages!  My  heart  was  melted 
into  deep  contrition.  I  felt  the  love  of  God  shed 
abroad  in  my  whole  being.  I  was  convinced  that  I 
had  the  Holy  Spirit  at  work  within  me.  I  was  affect- 
ed to  tears  at  his  goodness.  1  tvept  like  a  child.  I 
felt  that  I  had  been  a  sinner.  My  ingratitude  came 
like  a  flood  upon  me.  I  was  overcome  with  gratitude 
for  his  mercy.  It  completely  possessed  my  whole 
being.  I  rejoiced  in  the  thought,  that  though  I  had 
been  a  wanderer  from  him,  yet  that  he  was  a  good 
and  kind  Saviour,  and  was  ready  to  forgive  me  all 
the  injuries  I  had  done  him.  I  could  indeed  say, 
with  deep  conviction,  as  I  read  the  passage  which 
presented  itself  to  me:  'Blessed  be  the  God  and 
Father  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  which,  according  to 
his  abundant  mercy,  hath  begotten  us  again  unto  a 
lively  hope,  by  the  resurrection  of  Jesus  Christ,  from 
the  dead.'  Indeed,  this  whole  chapter  seemed  to  be 
perfectly  adapted  to  my  state.  I  recollect,  in  particu- 
lar, the  eighth  verse  was  singularly  pleasing  to  me. 
'  Whom  having  not  seen,  ye  love;  in  whom  though 
now  ye  see  him  not,  yet  believing,  ye  rejoice  with  joy 
unspeakable,  and  full  of  glory.' 

"Another  remarkable  circumstance  connected  with 
this  display  of  divine  goodness,  was,  the  wonderful 
acuteness  of  intellect  I  felt  myself  to  have,  in  reading 
the  word  of  God.  And  not  only  could  I  perceive 
things  in  the  gospel  that  I  never  saw  before,  but  I 
felt  my  whole  character  changed.  I  felt  not  only  a 
strong  love  to  God,  but  to  every  body  around  me.  I 
could  have  wept  over  the  bosom  of  my  bitterest  ene- 
my. Oh,  the  joys  of  that  momeiit!  But,  alas,  how 
vain  and  impotent  are  the  attempts  of  man,  unless  the 
Holy  Spirit  of  God  remains  with  him.  I  recollect 
very  well,  that  I  thought  I  would  go  and  see  the 
minister,  and  tell  him  what  had   passed.     But  not 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


177 


acting  up  to  the  suggestion  immediately,  I  neglected 
it,  and  soon  again,  sad  to  say,  I  had  relapsed  into  my 
former  forgetfulness  of  the  Lord.     The  fear  of  the 
ridicule  of  the  world  had  been  too  strong  for  my  faith, 
and  I  felt,  too,  that  I  could  not  yet  give  up  the  world, 
and  declare  myself  on  the  Lord's  side.     But  still  he 
would  not  let  me  go.     He  would  not  give  me  up.     I 
was  removed  shortly  afterward  to  another  station, 
and  here  I  can  see  the  all  gracious  design  of  Provi- 
dence in  this  change.     I  was  by  this  means  thrown 
into  the   society  of  several  pious  officers.     One   in 
particular,  whom  I  valued  very  highly,  and  who,  the 
very  evening  he  conversed  with  me  upon  the  good- 
ness of  God,  in  twice  leading  him  back  from  signal 
relapses  into  sin,  was  seized  with  the  fever,  that  in 
five  days  carried  him  to  his  grave,  was  in  particular 
of  great  service  to  me,  under  the  divine  blessing,  in 
confirming  me  in  my  resolves  to  renounce  the  world, 
and  cleave  unto  the  Lord;  and  so  indeed  were  all  the 
others.     Suffice  it  to  say,  that  not  many  months  after, 
I  came  among  them,  1  openly  proclaimed  myself  on 
the  Lord's  side,  and  sealed  the  covenant  by  partaking 
of  the  emblems  of  his  body  and  blood.     And  it  is  an 
additional  source  of  happiness  for  me  to  state,  that  it 
was  not  long  after  that,  the  partner  of  my  bosom,  also 
renounced  the  world,  and  joined  me  in  the  race  set 
before  us  in  the  gospel. 

"The  foregoing  narrative,  I  have  thought  would  be 
of  some  interest  to  you.  But  if  it  serve  no  other  pur- 
pose than  to  show  you  how  good  the  Lord  has  been 
to  me,  it  will  answer  its  end.'^ 


CHAPTER  XII. 

The  spiritual  conflict.— Various  exhibitions  of  it.— Evil  thoughts.— 
A  case  in  illustration. 

We  have  spoken  of  the  Christian's  enemies,  in  the 
general,  it  is  now  intended  to  enter  into  a  more  partic- 


178  THOUGHTS    ON 

ular  view  of  the  conflict  which  is  experienced  by  the 
pilgrim  to  Zion.  Swarms  of  vain  thoughts  may  be 
reckoned  among  the  first  and  most  constant  enemies 
of  the  servant  of  God.  The  mind  of  man  is  hke  a 
fountain  which  is  continually  sending  forth  streams. 
There  is  not  a  moment  of  our  waking  time  when  the 
rational  soul  is  entirely  quiescent.  How  it  may  be  in 
our  sleeping  hours,  this  is  not  ttte  place  to  inquire — 
as  we  are  not  in  that  state  engaged  in  this  warfare. 
Perhaps,  this  is  saying  too  much.  I  believe  that  sin 
may  be  committed  in  sleep;  for  there  is  often  a  deli- 
berate choice  of  evil,  after  a  struggle  between  a  sense 
of  duty  and  an  inclination  to  sin.  And  often  the  same 
vain  and  impure  thoughts,  which  were  too  much  in- 
dulged in  waking  hours,  infest  us  when  asleep,  and 
may  find  much  readier  entertainment  than  when  we 
have  all  our  senses  about  us.  It  is  difficult  indeed,  to 
say  when  moral  agency  is  suspended,  so  as  to  render 
the  person  inculpable  for  his  volitions;  and  many 
know  that  they  consent  to  temptations  in  sleep,  when 
they  abhor  the  evil  as  soon  as  they  are  awake.  And, 
in  other  cases,  inclination  is  indulged,  where  there  is 
not  the  least  sense  of  the  moral  turpitude  of  the  act. 
But,  in  other  cases,  persons  in  sleep  consent  to  sin 
with  a  clear  apprehension  of  the  evil  of  the  thing  to 
which  they  consent;  here,  there  must  be  some  guilt; 
for,  if  there  was  not  an  evil  nature,  prone  to  iniquity, 
such  volitions  would  not  take  place.  Two  things  are 
in  our  power,  and  these  we  should  do:  first,  to  avoid 
evil  thoughts  and  such  pampering  of  the  body  as  have 
a  tendency  to  pollute  our  dreams;  and,  secondly,  to 
pray  to  God  to  preserve  us  from  evil  thoughts,  even 
in  sleep.  Particularly,  we  should  pray  to  be  deliv- 
ered from  the  influence  of  Satan  during  our  sleeping 
hours.  Mr.  Andrew  Baxter,  in  his  work  on  the  soul, 
is  of  opinion  that  dreams  can  in  no  way  be  accounted 
for,  but  by  the  agency  of  other  spirits  acting  on  ours. 
While  I  do  not  adopt  this  theory  of  dreaming,  I  am 
inclined  to  believe,  that,  some  how  or  other,  both 
good  and  evil  spirits  have  access  to  our  minds  in  sleep. 
They  actually  seem  to  hold  conversation  with  us,  and 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


179 


suggest  things  of  which  we  had  never  thought  before. 
To  return  from  this  digression — it  may  be  safely  as- 
serted that  no  human  mind,  in  this  world,  is  free  from 
the  incursion  of  vain  thoughts.  The  proportion  of 
such  thoughts  depends  on  the  circumstances  of  the 
individual,  and  the  degree  of  spirituality  and  self- 
government  to  which  he  has  attained.  The  question 
very  naturally  arises  here,  is  the  mere  occurrence  of 
vain  or  wicked  thoughts  sinful?  This  is  a  nice  ques- 
tion in  casuistry,  and  should  not  be  answered  incon- 
siderately. It  is  said  in  Scripture,  ''the  thought  of 
foolishness  is  sin;"  but  by  thought,  in  this  place,  we 
should  probably  understand  "  intention."  The  wise 
man  would  teach  that  sin  may  be  committed  in  the 
mind  without  any  external  act;  a  doctrine  abundant- 
ly taught  in  other  parts  of  Holy  Writ.  Or,  we  may- 
understand  it  to  mean  that,  when  thoughts  of  evil  are 
entertained  and  cherished  in  the  mind,  there  is  sin. 
But  as  our  thoughts  are  often  entirely  involuntary, 
arising  from  we  know  not  what  causes,  it  cannot  be 
that  every  conception  of  a  thing  wrong  is  itself  sinful. 
If  I  conceive  of  another  person  stealing,  or  murder- 
ing, or  committing  adultery,  if  my  mind  abhors  the 
deed,  the  mind  is  not  thereby  polluted.  Thoughts 
may  not  in  themselves  be  sinful,  and  yet  they  may 
become  so,  if  they  fill  and  occupy  the  mind  to  the 
exclusion  of  better  thoughts.  Ideas  of  present  scenes 
and  passing  transactions,  are  not,  in  themselves,  sin- 
ful, because  necessary,  and  often  required  by  the 
duties  which  we  have  to  perform;  but  if  the  current 
of  these  thoughts  is  so  continuous  that  they  leave  no 
room  for  spiritual  meditations,  they  become  sinful  by 
their  access.  Again,  as  every  Christian  has  set  times 
for  prayer  and  other  devotional  exercises;  if  the  mind, 
on  such  occasions,  wanders  off  from  the  contemplation 
of  those  objects,  which  should  occupy  it,  such  forget- 
fulness  of  Clod's  presence,  and  vain  wandering  of  the 
thoughts  is  evidently  sinful.  And  here  is  an  arena  on 
which  many  a  severe  conflict  has  been  undergone, 
and  where,  alas,  many  overthrows  have  been  expe- 
rienced by  the  sincere  worshipper  of  God.     How  our 


180 


THOUGHTS    ON 


perfectionists  dispose  of  this  matter,  and  what  their 
professed  experience  is,  I  know  not.  I  suppose, 
however,  that  they  are,  at  best,  no  more  exempt  from 
wandering  thoughts  than  other  Christians;  and  if  so, 
they  must  practise  a  double  hypocrisy,  first,  in  per- 
suading themselves  that  there  is  no  sin  in  all  this;  and, 
secondly,  in  denying,  or  concealing  from  others,  their 
real  experience  on  this  subject.  But  is  it  not  true, 
that  from  the  very  laws  of  association  of  ideas, 
there  will  often  be  an  invokmtary  wandering  of  the 
thoughts?  This  is  admitted;  and  it  is  conceded,  also, 
that  it  may  be  impossible,  in  all  cases,  to  determine 
with  precision  which  of  our  straying  thoughts  con- 
tracts guiU,  and  how  much  blame  to  us,  when  our 
thoughts  suddenly  start  aside  from  the  mark  hke  a 
deceitful  bow.  There  are,  however,  some  plain  prin- 
ciples which  sound  casuistry  can  establish.  If,  when 
the  thoughts  thus  start  aside,  they  are  not  immediately 
recalled,  then  there  is  sin;  for  the  mind  has  this  power 
over  its  thouglits,  and,  when  it  is  not  exercised,  it 
argues  negligence,  or  something  worse.  Again,  if 
this  deviation  of  our  thoughts  would  have  been  pre- 
vented by  a  solemn  sense  of  the  divine  presence  and 
omniscience,  then  it  is  sinful;  for  such  impressions 
should  accompany  us  to  the  throne  of  grace.  And, 
finally,  if  the  true  reason  of  these  erratic  trains  of 
thought,  at  such  seasons,  is  owing  to  a  secret  aversion 
to  spiritual  things,  and  a  preference,  at  the  moment, 
to  some  carnal  or  selfish  indulgence — then,  indeed, 
there  is  not  only  sin,  but  sin  of  enormous  guilt.  It  is 
the  direct  acting  of  enmity  against  God.  There  are 
many,  it  is  to  be  feared,  who  take  little  or  no  account 
of  their  thoughts;  and  who,  if  they  run  tlirough  the 
external  round  of  duties,  feel  satisfied.  Multitudes 
are  willing  to  be  religious  and  even  punctilious  in 
duty,  if  no  demand  is  made  upon  them  for  fixedness 
of  attention,  and  fervency  and  elevation  of  affection. 
The  carnal  mind  hates  nothing  so  much  as  a  spiritual 
approach  to  God,  and  the  remainders  of  this  enmity, 
in  the  pious,  is  the  very  "law  in  their  members, 
which  wars  against  the  law  of  the  mind."     This  is 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


181 


the  very  core  of  their  inbred  sin,  from  which  all  evil 
thoughts  proceed,  on  account  of  which  they  need  to 
be  humbled  in  the  dust,  every  day  that  they  live. 
There  is  much  reason  to  fear,  however,  that  many  who 
appear  to  be  serious  Christians,  are  not  at  all  in  the 
habit  of  watching  their  thoughts,  and  ascertaining  the 
evil  that  is  in  them.  I  knew  a  person,  nearly  half  a 
century  ago,  who,  being  greatly  troubled  with  wan- 
dering thoughts  in  times  of  devotion,  was  solicitous 
to  know  whether  any  other  person  was  troubled  in 
the  same  way,  and  to  the  same  degree,  with  such 
swarms  of  vain  thoughts.  He  carefully  wrote  down 
what  he  experienced  in  this  way,  and  then  took  it  to 
two  serious  professors,  of  whose  piety  he  had  a  good 
opinion,  and,  without  intimating  that  it  was  his  own 
experience,  inquired  whether  they  were  acquainted 
with  any  thing  like  this.  They  both  acknowledged 
that  they  were  often  interrupted  with  wandering 
thoughts  in  prayer;  but,  in  the  degree  described  in 
the  paper,  they  were  not,  and  could  not  believe  that 
any  real  Christian  was.  There  may  be,  and  no  doubt 
is,  a  constitutional  difference  among  men  in  regard  to 
this  matter.  In  some  minds  the  links  of  association 
are  so  strong,  that,  when  a  particular  idea  is  suggested, 
the  whole  train  must  come  along,  and  thus  the  object 
previously  before  the  mind  is  lost  sight  of,  and  will 
not  be  recovered  without  a  resolute  effort. 

An  old  writer  says,  "  what  busy  flies  were  to  the 
sacrifices  on  the  altar,  such  are  vain  thoughts  to  our 
holy  services;  their  continued  buzzing  disturbs  the 
mind  and  distracts  its  devotion."  St.  Bernard  com- 
plained much  of  these  crowds  of  vain  thoughts,  he 
said — "  Introeunt  and  exeunt,"  they  pass  and  repass, 
come  in  and  go  out,  and  will  not  be  controlled. 
"Amovere  volo,  nee  valeo,"  I  would  fain  remove 
them,  but  cannot.  This  is  in  perfect  accordance  with 
Paul's  experience,  "when  I  would  do  good,  evil  is 
present  with  me."  And  Chrysoslom  says,  "  that 
nothing  is  more  dreadful  to  the  godly  than  sin.  This 
is  death — this  is  heliy  Therefore,  though  nothing 
amiss  be  discerned  by  man,  yet  is  he  afflicted,  deeply 


182 


THOUGHTS    ON 


afflicted  on  account  of  his  rebellions  thoughts,  which 
being  in  the  secret  closet  of  the  heart,  can  only  appear 
unto  God. 

The  old  writer,  before  mentioned,  introduces  a 
struggling  soul,  mourning  on  this  account.  "  0  the 
perplexing  trouble  of  my  distracting  thoughts!  How 
do  they  continually  disturb  the  quiet  of  my  m.ind,  and 
make  my  holy  duties  become  a  weariness  of  my  soul? 
They  cool  the  heart,  they  damp  the  vigour,  they 
deaden  the  comfort  of  my  devotions.  Even  when  I 
pray  God  to  forgive  my  sins,  I  then  sin  whilst  I  am 
praying  for  forgiveness;  yea,  whether  it  be  in  the 
church,  or  in  the  closet,  so  frequently  and  so  violently 
do  these  thoughts  withdraw  my  heart  from  God's 
service,  that  I  cannot  have  confidence  he  hears  my 
suit,  because  I  know  by  experience,  I  do  not  hear 
myself;  surely  therefore  God  must  need  be  far  off 
from  my  prayer,  whilst  my  heart  is  so  far  out  of  his 
presence,  hurried  away  with  a  crowd  of  vain  imagina- 
tions." To  whom  he  applies  the  following  consola- 
lations:  "  1,  These  vain  thoughts,  being  thy  burden, 
shall  not  be  thy  ruin;  and  though  they  do  take  from 
the  sweetness,  they  shall  not  take  from  the  sincerity 
of  thy  devotions.  2.  It  is  no  little  glory  which  we 
give  to  God  in  tlie  acknowledgment  of  his  omnipres- 
ence and  omniscience,  that  we  acknowledge  Him  to 
be  privy  to  the  first  risings  of  our  most  inward 
thoughts.  3.  It  is  much  the  experience  of  God's 
children,  even  the  devoutest  saints,  that  their  thoughts 
of  God  and  of  Christ,  of  heaven  and  holiness,  are  very 
unsteady  and  fieeting.  Like  the  sight  of  a  star  through 
an  optic  glass,  held  by  a  palsied  hand,  such  is  our 
view  of  divine  objects.  4.  Know  thou  hast  the 
gracious  mediation  of  an  all-sufficient  Saviour  to 
supply  thy  defects,  and  procure  an  acceptance  of  thy 
sincere  though  imperfect  devotions,  5.  As  thou  hast 
the  gracious  mediation  of  an  all-sufficient  Saviour  to 
supply  thy  defects,  so  hast  thou  the  strengthening 
power  of  His  Holy  Spirit  to  help  their  infirmities; 
which  strength  is  made  perfect  in  weakness. — When 
thou  art  emptied  it  shall  fill  thee  ;  when  thou  art  slum- 


EELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  183 

bled,  it  shall  raise  thee.  The  experience  of  God's 
saints  will  tell  thee,  that  they  have  long  languished 
under  this  cross  of  vain  thoughts:  yet,  after  long  con- 
flict, have  obtained  a  joyful  conquest,  and  from 
mourning  doves  have  become  mounting  eagles." 

The  conflict  with  vain  and  wandering  thoughts  is 
common  to  all  Christians,  and  is  the  subject  of  their 
frequent  and  deep  lamentations:  but  there  are  other 
conflicts,  which  seem  to  be  peculiar  to  some  of  God's 
children,  or  are  experienced  in  a  much  greater  degree 
by  some  than  others.  These  arise  from  horribly 
wicked  thoughts,  blasphemous,  atheistical,  or  abomi- 
nably impure,  which  are  injected  with  a  power  which 
the  soul  cannot  resist,  and  sometimes  continue  to  rise 
in  such  thick  succession,  that  the  mind  can  scarcely 
be  said  to  be  ever  entirely  free  from  them.  I  have 
known  persons  of  consistent  piety  and  sound  intellect, 
who  have  been  infested  with  the  continual  incursion 
of  such  thoughts,  for  weeks  and  months  together:  so 
that  they  had  no  rest  during  their  waking  hours;  and 
even  their  sleep  was  disturbed  with  frightful  dreams; 
and  whilst  thus  harassed,  they  had  no  composure  to 
attend  on  religious  duties;  but  when  they  attempted 
to  pray,  Satan  was  present  with  his  terrific  sugges- 
tions; and  when  they  presented  themselves  with  God's 
people,  in  his  house, they  found  no  comfort  there;  for 
the  thought  was  continually  introduced  into  their 
minds,  that  there  was  no  truth  in  the  Bible,  or  any  of 
its  doctrines.  And  it  is  wondered  what  new  and  un- 
thought  of  forms  of  blasphemy  and  infidelity  do,  in 
such  cases  arise  ;  so  that  the  ideas  which  occupy  their 
minds  are  often  inexpressible,  and  indeed  not  fit  to  be 
expressed,  in  words.  These  may  emphatically  be 
called  "  the  fiery  darts  of  the  wicked  one."  They 
may  be  compared  to  balls  or  brands  of  fire  cast  into  a 
house  full  of  combustibles.  The  object  of  the  enemy, 
by  such  assaults,  is,  to  perplex  and  harass  the  child  of 
God,  and  to  drive  him  to  despair;  and  as  many,  who 
are  thus  tempted,  are  ignorant  of  Satan's  devices,  and 
of  the  "depths"  of  his  subtlety,  and  charge  upon  them- 
selves the  fault  of  all  these  wicked  thoughts,  the  effect 


184 


THOUGHTS    ON 


aimed  at,  does  actually  take  place.  The  tempted, 
harassed  soul  is  not  only  distressed  above  measure, 
but,  for  a  season,  is  actually  cast  down  to  the  borders 
of  despair.  We  know  of  no  affliction,  in  this  life, 
which  is  more  intolerable  than  such  a  state  of  tempta- 
tion, when  continued  long.  It,  no  doubt,  is  true,  that 
there  are  certain  slates  of  the  physical  system  which 
favour  the  effect  of  these  temptations;  but  this  does 
not  prove  that  these  thoughts  do  not  proceed  from 
Satan.  This  arch-fiend  is  deeply  versed  in  the  physi- 
ology of  human  nature;  and  wherever  he  discovers  a 
weak  point,  there  he  makes  his  assault.  The  melan- 
cholic, and  persons  wasted  and  weakened  with  ex- 
cessive grief,  are  peculiarly  susceptible  of  injury  from 
such  temptations;  as  is  that  class  of  doubting,  mourn- 
ing Christians,  who  are  for  ever  disposed  to  look  on 
the  dark  side  of  the  picture;  and  who  are  wont  "to 
write  bitter  things  against  themselves."  On  unin- 
structed  minds,  the  effect  often  is  to  induce  the  belief, 
that  they  have  sinned  the  sin  unto  death,  by  blas- 
pheming the  Holy  Ghost;  or,  that  they  have  sinned 
beyond  the  reach  of  mercy,  and  that  God  has  aban- 
doned them  to  be  a  prey  to  sin  and  Satan.  But  it  is 
not  upon  ignorant,  weak,  and  diseased  persons  only 
that  these  furious  assaults  are  made;  such  a  man  as 
Luther,  was  in  frequent  conflicts  of  this  kind;  and  he 
was  so  persuaded  that  these  were  the  temptations  of 
the  devil,  that  he  speaks  of  his  presence  with  as  much 
confidence  as  if  he  had  seen  him  by  his  side. 

A  friend  of  the  writer,  who  is  yet  alive,  was  for 
months  so  harassed  by  these  fiery  darts  of  the  wicked 
one,  that  I  never  saw  any  human  being  in  a  more 
pitiable  condition  of  extreme  suffering;  and  although 
there  was  no  intermission,  during  his  waking  hours, 
there  were  seasons  when  these  blasphemous  sugges- 
tions were  injected  with  peculiar  and  terrifying  vio- 
lence. Knowing  this  person  to  be  discreet,  as  well  as 
pious,  I  requested,  by  letter,  some  account  of  this 
dreadful  state  of  mind,  if  there  was  a  freedom  to 
make  the  communication.  In  answer,  I  received  re- 
cently, a  letter,  from  which  the  following  is  an  ex- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPEKIENCE. 


185 


tract:  "  I  feel  a  singular  reluctance  to  speak  of  my  re- 
ligious experience.     I  have  felt  that  my  case  was  a 
very  remarkable  one.     I  have  thought,  at  times,  that 
no  one  could  recount  a  similar  experience.     It  has 
appeared  to  me  so  uncommon,  that  I  have  refrained 
from  disclosing  the  peculiar  exercises  of  my  mind  to 
the  most  intimate  friend.     I  know  not  that  I  ever 
opened  to  you  my  case,  with  the  exception  of  that 
distressing  point  to  which  you  refer,  and  even  then  I 
think  I  was  not  very  particular.     That  was  a  season 
far  more  distressing  than  any  I  ever  experienced — 
'  I  well  remember  mine  afflictions  and  my  misery;  the 
wormwood  and  the  gall.'     My  deliverance  from  it 
was  an  unspeakable  mercy.    I  have  no  doubt  that  the 
state  of   my  health    had  some  connexion   with  the 
mental  sufferings  I  then  endured.     My  constitution, 
which  had  always  been  feeble,  had  given  to  my  dis- 
position a  proneness  to  melancholy;  and  in  my  be- 
reaved and  desolate  state  I  was  peculiarly  susceptible 
of  gloomy  impressions.  My  nervous  system  was  deep- 
ly affected.     Sleep  at  one  time  forsook  my  pillow  for 
successive  nights.     It  was  under  these  circumstances 
that  I  sunk  into  the  darkness  and  distress  which  you 
witnessed.     In  all  this  there  was  nothing  very  re- 
markable.    I  think  very  many  can  record  a  similar 
experience.     It  was  not  the  fact  that  in  a  feeble  state 
of  health  I  was  dark  and  comfortless  in  spirit,  that 
has  so  much  tried  me,  but  the  peculiarity  of  my  case 
seemed  to  consist  in  the  nature  of  my  spiritual  con- 
flicts.    You  may,  perhaps,  recollect  that  I  stated  to 
you  that  my  chief  distress  arose  from  blasphemous 
suggestions — unnatural,    moyistrous,   and    horrid, 
which  seemed  to  fill  the  mind,  and  hurry  away  my 
thoughts,  with  a  force  as  irresistible  as  a  whirlwind. 
I  strove  against  them — I  prayed  against  them;  but  it 
was  all  in  vain.      The  more  I  strove,  the  more  they 
prevailed.      The  very  effort  to  banish  them  appeared 
to  detain  them.     My  soul  all  this  while  was  wrapped 
in  midnight  darkness,  and  tossed  like  the  ocean  in  a 
storm.     It  seemed  to  me  as  if  I  was  delivered  over  to 
the  powers  of  darkness,  and  that  to  aggravate  my 


186 


THOUGHTS    ON 


wretchedness,  some  strange  and  awfully  impious  as- 
sociation would  be  suggested  by  almost  every  object 
that  met  my  eye.  You  ask  me  to  describe  my  de- 
liverance. It  was  gradual.  A  return  of  domestic 
comforts,  a  restoration  of  health,  and  an  occupation 
OF  THE  MIND  WITH  DUTY,  Were  the  means  which 
God  was  pleased  to  bless  to  the  removal  of  this  dis- 
tressing experience.  For  twelve  or  thirteen  years  I 
have  had  no  return  of  this  state  of  mind,  except  to  a 
partial  extent;  yet  I  have,  at  times,  been  greatly  ha- 
rassed with  these  fiery  darts  of  the  wicked  one,  which 
I  can  truly  say,  are  my  sorest  affliction.  I  have 
always  remarked,  that  these  painful  exercises  of  mind 
have  attended  seasons  of  special  examination  and 
prayer.  When  I  have  thought  most  of  my  obligation 
to  God,  and  endeavoured  to  meditate  most  on  divine 
things,  then  it  has  been,  that  my  mind  has  suffered 
most  from  the  intrusion  of  thoughts,  at  which  my  soul 
is  filled  with  anguish,  and  from  which  I  desire  deliv- 
erance more  than  from  death.  This  fact  is  mysterious 
to  me.  I  cannot  but  think  1  love  God.  I  am  sure  I 
do  desire  an  entire  consecration  to  Christ.  It  is  my 
daily  prayer  to  attain  holiness.  I  esteem  the  way  of 
salvation  glorious;  and  justification  through  the  alone 
righteousness  of  Christ  is  a  precious  doctrine.  But 
did  ever  any  Christian  experience  such  trials,  is  a 
question  which  I  am  ready  often  to  ask.  I  know  of 
no  uninspired  writer  that  has  come  nearer  a  descrip- 
tion of  what  I  have  experienced  than  John  Bunyan 
and  John  Newton.  The  hymn  of  the  latter,  com- 
mencing with  '  I  asked  the  Lord  that  I  might  grow,' 
&c.,  contains  many  thoughts  remarkably  accordant 
with  my  experience. 

"  You  see,  I  have  nothing  to  relate,  that  is  instruc- 
tive or  cheering — and  yet  I  sometimes  feel  thankful 
for  the  terrible  conflicts  which  I  endure,  for  there  is 
nothing  which  so  constantly  drives  me  to  a  throne  of 
grace — nothing  that  strips  me  so  entirely  of  self-de- 
pendence, and  creates  within  me  such  longing  after 
holiness.  I  am  much  inclined  to  think  that  Satan  is  far 
less  dangerous  when  he  comes  as  '  a  roaring  lion,'  and 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  187 

frightens  the  soul  with  liis  horrid  blasphemies,  than 
when  'he  transforms  himself  into  an  angel  of  light,' 
and  seduces  our  affections  gradually''  and  secretly 
away  from  God,  and  attaches  them  sinfully  to  the 
world. 

"P.  S. — The  most  discouraging  fact  in  all  my  ex- 
perience has  been,  what  I  have  already  alluded  to — 
the  rushing  in  of  a  tide  of  unutterably  impious 
thoughts  or  imaginations,  at  a  time  when  I  have 
sought  the  most  elevated  and  glorious  views  of  God, 
breaking  up  my  peace  and  comfort,  when  I  have  tried 
to  fix  my  mind  most  intently  on  spiritual  objects.  Is 
the  onset  of  the  enemy  to  drive  one  from  a  close  com- 
munion with  God?  or  is  it  to  be  traced  to  a  law  of 
association  recalling  past  experiences? 

"  If  I  had  more  confidence  iia  my  religious  experi- 
ence I  think  I  could  suggest  many  thoughts  that  might 
be  useful  to  Christians  under  temptation;  and  espe- 
cially, when  suffering  under  certain  physical  disor- 
ders. One  thing,  I  am  free  to  say,  useful  occupa- 
tion is  essential  to  the  restoration  and  peace  of  some 
minds." 

Many  other  eminent  servants  of  God  have  expe- 
rienced, in  various  forms,  the  same  conflicts  with  the 
great  adversary:  and  when  we  describe  these  temp- 
tations as  not  unfrequent  in  the  experience  of  the 
children  of  God,  we  do  not  speak  without  authority. 
Paul  says,  "For  we  wrestle  not  against  flesh  and 
blood,  but  against  principalities,  against  powers, 
against  the  rulers  of  the  darkness  of  this  world, 
against  spiritual  wickedness  in  high  places."  From 
this  passage,  it  is  evident,  that  our  spiritual  foes  are 
numerous,  and  powerful,  and  that  the  believer's  con- 
flict with  them  is  violent:  it  is  a  "wrestling,"  or  a 
contention  which  requires  them  to  put  forth  all  their 
strength,  and  to  exercise  all  their  skill.  Therefore,  it 
was,  that  the  apostle,  who  was  himself  engaged  in 
this  conflict,  urges  it  upon  Christians  to  put  on  the 
panoply  of  God.  Against  such  enemies,  armour, 
otfensive  and  defensive,  is  requisite.  And  blessed  be 
God,  there  is  a  magazine,  from  which  such  armour 


188 


THOUGHTS    ON 


may  be  drawn.  Hear  Paul's  enumeration  of  the  sev- 
eral parts  of  this  panoply:  "The  girdle  of  truth, 
the  breast-plate  of  righteousness, — sandals  of  gospel 
peace, — the  shield  of  faith."  This  he  places  highest, 
as  being  an  indispensable  defence  against  "the  fiery 
darts  of  the  wicked" — "the  helmet  of  salvation," 
"the  sword  of  the  Spirit,  which  is  the  word  of  God." 
To  all  which  must  be  added  prayer  and  watchful- 
ness. As  one  of  God's  methods  of  comforting  and 
strengthening  his  mourning  children  is,  by  good 
books,  I  will  embrace  this  opportunity  of  recommend- 
ing to  those  engaged  in  the  spiritual  warfare,  "  Gur- 
nall's  Christian  Armour."  In  such  cases,  there  is 
almost  a  necessity  of  referring  to  old  authors;  for, 
some  how  or  other,  our  modern  sermons  and  tracts 
touch  but  seldom  on  these  things,  which  filled  so  many 
of  the  pages  of  our  fathers. 

The  soul  struggling  with  the  intrusion  of  wicked 
thoughts  may  be  supposed  to  express  its  feelings  in 
language  like  the  following:  "  0  my  wretchedly  wick- 
ed heart,  which  is  the  fountain  from  which  proceed 
such  streams  of  abominable  thoughts!  Sure  if  I  had 
ever  been  washed  in  the  fountain  of  Christ's  blood, 
or  at  all  purified  by  his  Spirit,  so  foul  a  corruption 
could  never  cleave  unto  my  soul.  Woe  is  me!  for  so 
far  am  I  from  being  a  holy  temple  of  the  Lord,  that 
my  heart  rather  seems  to  be  the  cage  of  every  un- 
clean bird,  and  even  a  den  of  devils.  The  flames  of 
hell  seem  to  flash  in  my  face,  and  the  amazing  ter- 
rors of  cursed  blasphemies  torture  my  soul  and  wound 
my  conscience  even  unto  death.  I  would  rather 
choose  to  die  ten  thousand  deaths  than  undergo  the 
fears,  and  frights,  and  bitter  pangs  of  my  amazing 
thoughts  and  dreadful  imaginations.  In  every  place, 
in  every  action — in  the  church  and  in  the  closet — in 
my  meditations  and  in  my  prayers,  these  abominable 
and  tormenting  thoughts  follow  and  harass  me;  so 
that  I  loathe  myself  and  am  a  burden  to  myself  '  0 
wretched  man,  that  I  am,  who  shall  deliver  me  from 
the  body  of  this  death!'  Alas!  I  perish,  whilst 
ashamed  to  speg,k  what   I   abhor  to   think,  I  must 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  189 

needs  despair  of  a  cure,  not  knowing  how  to  lay  open 
my  sore." 

To  a  complaint  of  this  kind,  the  pious  Robert  Mos- 
som,  addresses  the  following  grounds  of  consola- 
tion: 

1.  ''  The  horrid  blasphemies  which  affright  thy  soul, 
though  they  are  thy  thoughts,  yet  are  they  Satan's 
suggestions;  and  not  having  the  consent  of  thy  will, 
they  bring  no  guilt  upon  thy  conscience.  It  is  agree- 
able to  the  truth  of  God's  word,  and  the  judgment  of 
all  divines,  ancient  and  modern,  that  where  the  will 
yields  no  consent,  there  the  soul  may  suffer  tempta- 
tion, but  act  no  sin.  Again,  'The  importunity  and 
frequency  of  these  suggestions  which  weary  the  soul, 
resisting,  shall  bring  a  greater  crown  of  glory  in  its 
overcoming,'  True  it  is,  that,  'he  that  is  born  of 
God,  keepeth  himself,  and  that  wicked  one  toucheth 
him  not.'  But  how  toucheth  him  not?  Is  it  meant 
of  wicked  temptations?  No,  sure,  but  of  wilful  trans- 
gressions. He  toucheth  him  not  so  as  to  leave  the 
impress  of  sin  and  guilt  upon  the  soul.  It  is  no 
sin  to  be  tempted;  for  Christ  our  Lord  and  Saviour, 
was  tempted,  '  but  without  sin.'  To  admit  the  temp- 
tation with  allowance  or  delight,  that  is  sin. 

2.  "  That  these  foul  and  frightful  suggestions  have 
not  the  consent  of  thy  will  appears  by  this,  that  thou 
hast  a  loathing  and  abhorring  of  them;  which  speaks 
the  greatest  aversion,  and  so  is  far  from  a  consenting 
of  the  will.  What  is  forcibly  cast  into  the  mind  can- 
not be  said  to  be  received  w^ith  our  consent.  It  is  out 
of  our  power  to  prevent  Satan  from  suggesting  evil 
thoughts.  These  arise  not  from  thy  own  corrupt  na- 
ture: they  are  6rff/.s  laid  at  thy  door,  not  thine  own 
lawful  children.  These  are  the  biiffetings  of  Satan. 
Paul  had  *  a  messenger  of  Satan  to  buffet  him,'  which 
was  as  a  'thorn  in  his  flesh,'  constantly  pricking  and 
keeping  him  uneasy,  and  tempting  him  to  impatience; 
and  he  prayed  earnestly  and  repeatedly  to  be  deliv- 
ered from  this  cross,  but  his  request  was  not  granted; 
yet  he  received  an  answer  more  gracious  and  bene- 
ficial than   the  removal   of  the   thorn   would   have 

13 


190  THOUGHTS    ON 

been;  for  God  said  unto  him,  'My  grace  is  sufficient 
for  thee,'" 

The  heart  assailed  by  Satan,  is  hke  a  city  besieged, 
within  which  there  lie  concealed  naany  traitors,  who, 
as  far  as  they  dare,  will  give  encouragement  and  aid 
to  the  enemy  without.  And  this  creates  the  chief  dif- 
ficulty in  the  case  of  many  temptations;  for  although 
there  is  not  a  full  consent,  or  a  prevailing  willingness, 
yet  there  is  something  which  too  much  concurs  with 
the  temptation;  except  in  shocking  blasphemies, 
which  nil  the  soul  with  terror.  The  soul  afflicted 
witli  these  temptations  is  apt  to  think  its  case  singu- 
lar, it  is  ready  to  exclaim,  "  Never  were  any  of  God's 
children  in  this  condition.  It  must  be  some  strange 
corruption  which  induces  the  enemy  thus  to  assault 
me,  and  some  awful  displeasure  of  God  towards  me, 
which  makes  him  permit  such  a  temptation."  To 
which  it  may  be  replied,  "  Afflictions,  of  this  kind, 
are  no  new  thing;  and  that  with  the  real  children  of 
God.  Such  cases  are  not  uncommon,  in  every  age, 
and  occur  in  the  pastoral  experience  of  every  faithful 
minister.  Some  persons  have,  for  years,  been  so  afflic- 
ted with  these  temptations,  that  they  have  pined  away 
and  have  been  brought  near  the  gates  of  death;  and 
these,  too,  persons  of  no  ordinary  piety.  Take  then 
the  following  directions:  1.  Learn  to  discriminate  be- 
tween the  temptation  and  the  sin  of  temptation.  2. 
Examine  with  care,  what  transgressions  may  have 
occasioned  this  sore  affliction.  3.  Humble  yourself 
before  God  with  fasting  and  prayer,  and  supplicate 
the  throne  of  grace  to  obtain  the  mercy  of  God 
through  the  merits  of  thy  Saviour,  for  the  full  and 
free  pardon  of  whatever  sin  has  occasioned  these 
temptations;  beseeching  God  to  rebuke  Satan;  and 
then  make  an  unreserved  resignation  of  thyself  into 
the  hands  of  Jesus,  the  Great  Shepherd  of  the 
flock,  that  he  may  keep  thee  as  a  tender  lamb,  from 
the  paw  and  teeth  of  the  roaring  lion.  4.  If  still  these 
thoughts  intrude,  turn  your  mind  quickly  away  from 
them;  they  are  most  effectually  subdued  by  neglect. 
5.  "0  thou  afflicted,  tossed  with  tempests  and  not 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  191 

comforted,"  do  as  children  with  their  parents  when 
they  see  any  thing  frightful:  they  cling  closer  and 
hold  faster.  So  do  thou  with  thy  God  and  Saviour. 
Satan's  aim  is  to  drive  you  from  God  into  some  des- 
perate conchisionsjor  into  some  ruinous  act;  but  thou 
mayest  disappoint  this  subtle  adversary,  by  running 
to  Christ  as  your  refuge,  and  cleaving  to  him  witii 
humble,  believing  confidence;  and  when  Satan  sees 
this,  he  will  soon  cease  from  the  violence  of  his  temp- 
tations. And  when  the  devil  hath  left  thee,  angeis 
will   come  and  minister   unto    tliee;   especially    the 

ANGEL    OF    THE    COVENANT,  ChRIST  JeSUS.        He   shall 

rejoice  thy  soul  with  the  quickening  graces  and  cheer- 
ing comforts  of  his  Spirit. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

Growth  in  grace. — Signs  of  it. — Practical  directions  how  to  grow  in 
grace. — Hinderances  to  it. 

When  there  is  no  growth  there  is  no  life.  We  have 
taken  it  for  granted,  that  among  the  regenerate,  at 
the  moment  of  their  conversion,  there  is  a  difference 
in  the  vigour  of  the  principle  of  spiritual  life,  analo- 
gous to  what  we  observe  in  the  natural  world;  and  no 
doubt  the  analogy  holds,  as  it  relates  to  growth.  As 
some  children,  who  were  weak  and  sickly  in  the  first 
days  of  their  existence,  become  healthy  and  strong, 
and  greatly  outgrow  others  who  commenced  life  with 
far  greater  advantages;  so  it  is  with  the  "  new  man;" 
some  who  enter  on  the  spiritual  life  with  a  weak  and 
wavering  faith,  by  the  blessing  of  God  on  a  diligent 
use  of  means,  far  outstrip  others  who,  in  the  begin- 
ning, were  greatly  before  them. 

It  is  often  observed,  that  there  are  professors  who 
never  appear  to  grow,  but  rather  decline  perpetually, 
until  they  become,  in  spirit  and  conduct,  entirely  con- 
formed to  the  world,  from  whence  tliey  professed  to 


]  92  THOUGHTS    OS 

come  out.  The  result,  in  regard  to  them,  is  one  of 
two  things;  they  either  retain  iheir  standing  in  the 
Churcli,  and  become  dead  formahsts,  "  having  a  name 
to  Hve  while  they  are  dead;"  "a  form  of  godliness, 
while  they  deny  the  power  thereof;"  or  they  re- 
nounce their  profession  and  abandon  their  connexion 
with  the  Church,  and  openly  take  their  stand  with  the 
enemies  of  Clu-ist,  and  not  unfrequently  go  beyond 
them  all  in  daring  impiety.  Of  all  such  we  may  con- 
fidently say,  "  they  were  not  of  us,  or  undoubtedly 
they  would  have  continued  with  us."  But  of  such  I 
mean  not  now  to  speak  further,  as  the  case  of  back- 
sliders will  be  considered  hereafter. 

That  growth  in  grace  is  gradual  and  progressive  is 
very  evident  from  Scripture;  as  in  all  those  passages 
where  believers  are  exhorted  to  mortify  sin  and  cru- 
cify the  flesh,  and  to  increase  and  abound  in  all  the 
exercises  of  piety  and  good  works.  One  text  on  this 
subject  will  be  sufficient:  "  Grow  in  grace  and  in  the 
knowledge  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ." 
And  this  passage  furnishes  us  with  information  of  the 
origin  and  nature  of  this  growth.  It  is  knowledge; 
even  the  knowledge  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus 
Christ.  Just  so  far  as  any  soul  increases  in  spiritual 
knowledge,  in  the  same  degree  it  grows  in  grace. 
Persons  may  advance  rapidly  in  other  kinds  of  know- 
ledge, and  yet  make  no  advances  in  piety;  but  the 
contrary.  They  may  even  have  their  minds  filled 
with  correct  theoretical  knowledge  of  divine  truth; 
and  yet  its  effect  may  not  be  to  hnmble,  but  to  "  puff" 
up."  Many  an  accurate  and  profound  theologian 
has  lived  and  died  without  a  ray  of  saving  light. 
The  natural  man,  however  gifted  with  talent,  or  en- 
riched with  speculative  knowledge,  has  no  spiritual 
discernment.  After  all  his  acquisitions,  he  is  desti- 
tute of  the  knowledge  of  Jesus  Christ.  But  it  should 
not  be  forgotten,  that  divine  illumination  is  not  inde- 
pendent of  the  word,  but  accompanies  it.  Those 
Christians,  therefore,  who  are  most  diligent  in  attend- 
ing upon  the  word  in  public  and  private,  will  be  most 
likely  to  make  progress  in  piety.     Young  converts  are 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  193 

prone  to  depend  too  much  on  joyful  frames,  and  love 
high  excitement  in  their  devotional  exercises;  but 
their  heavenly  Father  cures  them  of  this  folly,  by 
leaving  them  for  a  season  to  walk  in  darkness,  and 
struggle  with  their  own  corruptions.  When  most 
sorely  pressed  and  discouraged,  however,  he  strength- 
ens them  with  might  in  the  inner  man.  He  enables 
them  to  stand  firmly  against  temptation;  or,  if  they 
slide,  he  quickly  restores  them,  and  by  such  exercises 
they  become  much  more  sensible  of  their  entire  de- 
pendence, than  they  were  at  first.  They  learn  to  be 
in  the  fear  of  the  Lord  all  the  day  long,  and  to  dis- 
trust entirely  their  own  wisdom  and  strength,  and  to 
rely  for  all  needed  aid  on  the  grace  of  Christ  Jesus. 
Such  a  soul  will  not  readily  believe  that  it  is  growing 
in  grace;  but  to  be  emptied  of  self-dependence,  and  to 
know  that  we  need  aid  for  every  duty,  and  even  for 
every  good  thought,  is  an  important  step  in  our  pro- 
gress in  piety.  The  flowers  may  have  disappeared 
from  the  plant  of  grace,  and  even  the  leaves  may 
have  fallen  off,  and  wintry  blasts  may  have  shaken  it, 
but  it  now  is  striking  its  roots  deeper,  and  becoming 
every  day  stronger,  to  endure  tlie  rugged  storm.  One 
circumstance  attends  the  growth  of  a  real  Christian, 
in  grace,  which  renders  it  exceedingly  difficult  for 
him  to  know  the  fact,  upon  a  superficial  view  of  his 
case,  and  that  is,  the  clearer  and  deeper  insight  which 
he  obtains  into  the  evils  of  his  own  heart.  Now  this 
is  one  of  the  best  evidences  of  growth,  but  the  first 
conclusion  is  apt  to  be,  "  I  am  growing  worse  every 
day" — "  I  see  innumerable  evils  springing  up  within 
me  which  I  never  saw  before."  This  person  may  be 
compared  to  one  shut  up  in  a  dark  room,  where  he  is 
surrounded  by  many  loathsome  objects.  If  a  single 
ray  of  light  be  let  into  the  room,  he  sees  the  more  pro- 
minent objects;  but  if  the  light  gradually  increase,  he 
sees  more  and  more  of  the  filth  by  which  he  has  been 
surrounded.  It  was  there  before,  but  he  perceived  it 
not.  His  increased  knowledge  of  the  fact  is  a  sure 
evidence  of  increasing  light.  Hypocrites  often  learn 
to  talk  by  rote  of  the  wickedness  of  their  hearts;  but 


194  THOUGHTS    ON 

go  to  them  and  seriously  accuse  them  of  indulging 
secret  pride,  or  envy,  or  covetousness,  or  any  other 
heart  sins,  and  they  will  be  offended.  Their  confes- 
sions of  sin  are  only  intended  to  raise  thejn  in  the 
opinion  of  others,  as  truly  humble  persons;  and  not 
that  any  should  believe  that  corruption  abounds  with- 
in them.  Growth  in  grace  is  evinced  by  a  more  hab- 
itual vigilance  against  besetting  sins  and  temptations, 
and  by  greater  self-denial,  in  regard  to  personal  indul- 
gence. A  growing  conscientiousness  in  regard  to 
what  may  be  called  minor  duties,  is  also  a  good  sign. 
The  counterfeit  of  this  is,  a  scrupulous  conscience, 
which  sometimes  haggles  at  the  most  innocent  gratifi- 
cations, and  has  led  some  to  hesitate  about  taking  their 
daily  food,  jincreasing  spiritual-mindedness  is  a  sure 
evidence  of  progress  in  piety;  and  this  will  always  be 
accompanied  by  deadness  to  the  world.  /Continued 
aspirations  to  God,  in  the  house  and  by  the  way,  in 
lying  down  and  rising  up,  in  company  and  in  solitude, 
indicates  the  indwelling  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  by  whose 
agency  all  progress  in  sanctification  is  made.  /A 
victory  over  besetting  sins  by  which  the  person  was 
frequently  led  away,  shows  an  increased  vigour  in  the 
renewed  principle,  j  Increasing  solicitude  for  the  sal- 
vation of  men,  and  sorrow  on  account  of  their  sinful 
and  miserable  condition,  and  a  disposition  tenderly  to 
warn  sinners  of  their  danger,  evince  a  growing  state 
of  piety.  /It  is  also  a  strong  evidence  of  growth  in 
grace,  when  you  can  bear  injuries  and  provocations 
with  meekness,  and  when  you  can  from  the  heart  de- 
sire the  temporal  and  eternal  welfare  of  your  bitterest 
enemies.  /An  entire  and  confident  reliance  on  the 
promises  and  providence  of  God,  however  dark  may 
be  your  horizon,  or  however  many  difficulties  environ 
you,  is  a  sign  that  you  have  learned  to  live  by  faith; 
and  humble  contentment  with  your  condition,  though 
it  be  one  of  poverty  and  obscurity,  shows  that  you 
have  profited  by  sitting  at  the  feet  of  Jesus.  \  Diligence 
in  the  duties  of  our  calling,  with  a  view  to  the  glory 
of  God,  is  not  an  evidence  to  be  despised.  Indeed, 
there  is  no  surer  standard  of  spiritual  growth,  than  a 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  195 

habit  of  aiming  at  the  glory  of  God  in  every  thing. 
That  mind  which  is  steady  to  the  main  end,  is  as 
good  evidence  of  being  touched  by  divine  grace,  as 
the  tendency  of  the  needle  to  the  pole  proves  that  it 
has  been  touched  by  the  magnet.  ('Increasing  love  to 
the  brethren  is  a  sure  sign  of  growth;  for  as  brotherly 
love  is  a  proof  of  the  existence  of  grace,  so  exercising 
brotherly  love  is  of  vigour  in  the  divine  life.  This 
love,  when  pure,  is  not  confined  within  those  limits 
which  party  spirit  circumscribes,  but  overleaping  all 
the  barriers  of  sects  and  denominations,  it  embraces 
the  disciples  of  Christ  wherever  it  finds  them.  A 
healthy  state  of  piety  is  always  a  growing  state;  that 
child  which  grows  not  at  all  must  be  sickly.  If  we 
would  enjoy  spiritual  comfort,  we  must  be  in  a 
thriving  condition.  None  enjoy  the  pleasures  of 
bodily  health,  but  they  who  are  in  health.  If  we 
would  be  useful  to  the  Church  and  the  world  we  must 
be  growing  Christians.  If  we  would  live  in  daily 
preparation  for  our  change,  we  must  endeavour  to 
grow  in  grace  daily.  The  aged  saint,  laden  with  the 
fruits  of  righteousness,  is  like  a  shock  of  corn  fully 
ripe,  which  is  ready  for  the  garner;  or  hke  a  mature 
fruit,  which  gradually  loosens  its  hold  of  the  tree,  until 
at  last  it  gently  falls  off.  Thus  the  aged,  mature 
Christian,  departs  in  peace.  As  growth  in  grace  is 
gradual,  and  the  progress  from  day  to  day  impercep- 
tible, we  should  aim  to  do  something  in  this  work 
every  day.  We  should  "die  daily  unto  sin  and  live 
unto  righteousness."  Sometimes  the  children  of  God 
grow  faster  when  in  the  fiery  furnace  than  elsewhere. 
As  metals  are  purified  by  being  cast  into  the  fire,  so 
saints  have  their  dross  consumed  and  their  evidences 
brightened,  by  being  cast  into  the  furnace  of  affliction. 
"  Beloved,  think  it  not  strange  concerning  the  fiery 
trial  which  shall  try  some  of  you,  as  though  some 
strange  thing  happened  unto  you,"  but  rejoice,  be- 
cause "  the  trial  of  your  faith,  being  much  more 
precious  than  of  gold  that  perisheth,  though  it  be  tried 
with  fire,  might  be  found  unto  praise,  and  honour, 
and  glory." 


196  THOUGHTS    ON 

We  shall  here  present  some  practical  directions  how 
to  grow  in  grace,  or  make  progress  in  piety. 

1.  Set  it  down  as  a  certainty  that  this  object  will 
never  be  attained  without  vigorous,  continued  effort; 
and  it  must  not  only  be  desired  and  sought,  but  must 
be  considered  more  important  than  all  other  pursuits, 
and  be  pursued  in  preference  to  every  thing  which 
claims  your  attention. 

2.  While  you  determine  to  be  assiduous  in  the  use 
of  appointed  means  of  sanctification,  you  must  have 
it  deeply  fixed  in  your  mind,  that  nothing  can  be  ef- 
fected in  this  work  without  the  aid  of  the  Divine  Spirit. 
"  Paul  may  plant  and  Apollos  water,  but  it  is  God 
that  giveth  the  increase."  The  direction  of  the  old 
divines  is  good;  use  the  means  as  vigorously  as  if 
you  were  to  be  saved  by  your  own  efforts,  and  yet 
trust  as  entirely  to  the  grace  of  God,  as  if  you  made 
use  of  no  means  whatever. 

3.  Be  much  in  the  perusal  of  the  Holy  Scriptures, 
and  strive  to  obtain  clear  and  consistent  views  of  the 
plan  of  redemption.  Learn  to  contemplate  the  truth 
in  its  true  nature,  simply,'devoutly,  and  long  at  a  time, 
that  you  may  receive  on  your  soul  the  impression 
which  it  is  calculated  to  make.  Avoid  curious  and  ab- 
struse speculations  respecting  things  unrevealed;  and 
do  not  indulge  a  spirit  of  controversy.  Many  lose  the 
benefit  of  the  good  impression  which  the  truth  is  calcu- 
lated to  make,  because  they  do  not  view  it  simply  in 
its  own  nature,  but  as  related  to  some  dispute,  or  as 
bearing  on  some  other  point.  As  when  a  man  would 
receive  the  genuine  impression  which  a  beautiful  land- 
scape is  adapted  to  make,  he  must  not  be  turned  aside 
by  minute  inquiries  respecting  the  botanical  character 
of  the  plants,  the  value  of  the  timber  or  the  fertility 
of  the  soil;  but  he  must  place  his  mind  in  the  attitude 
of  receiving  the  impression  which  the  combined  view 
of  the  objects  before  him,  will  naturally  produce  on 
the  taste.  In  such  cases  the  effect  is  not  produced  by 
any  exertion  of  the  intellect;  all  such  active  striving 
is  unfavourable,  except  in  bringing  the  mind  to  its 
proper  state.     When  the  impression  is  most  perfect, 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE, 


197 


we  feel  as  if  we  were  mere  passive  recipients  of  the 
effect.  To  this  there  is  a  striking  analogy  in  the  way 
in  which  the  mind  is  impressed  with  divine  truth. 
It  is  not  the  critic,  the  speculative  or  polemic  theolo- 
gian, who  is  most  likely  to  receive  the  right  impres- 
sion, but  the  humble,  simple-hearted,  contemplative 
Christian.  It  is  necessary  to  study  the  Scriptures 
critically,  and  to  defend  the  truth  against  opposers; 
but  the  most  learned  critic  and  the  most  profound 
theologian  must  learn  to  sit  at  the  feet  of  Jesus  in  the 
spirit  of  a  child,  or  they  are  not  likely  to  be  edified 
by  their  studies. 

4.  Pray  constantly  and  fervently  for  the  influences 
of  the  Holy  Spirit.  No  blessing  is  so  particularly 
and  emphatically  promised  in  answer  to  prayer  as 
this;  and  if  you  would  receive  this  divine  gift,  to  be 
in  you  as  a  well  of  water  springing  up  to  everlasting 
life,  you  must  not  only  pray,  but  you  must  watch 
against  every  thing  in  your  heart  or  life  which  has  a 
tendency  to  grieve  the  Spirit  of  God.  Of  what  ac- 
count is  it  to  pray,  if  you  indulge  evil  thoughts  and 
imaginations  almost  withont  control:  or  if  you  give 
way  to  the  evil  passions  of  anger,  envy,  pride  and 
avarice,  or  bridle  not  your  tongue  from  evil  speaking? 
Learn  to  be  conscientious;  that  is,  obey  the  dictates 
of  your  conscience  uniformly.  Many  are  conscien- 
tious in  some  things,  and  not  in  others;  they  listen  to 
the  monitor  within,  when  he  directs  to  important 
duties;  but  in  smaller  matters,  they  often  disregard 
the  voice  of  conscience,  and  follow  present  inclina- 
tion.    Such  cannot  grow  in  grace. 

5.  Take  more  time  for  the  duties  of  the  closet,  and 
for  looking  into  the  state  of  your  soul.  Redeem  an 
hour  daily  from  sleep,  if  you  cannot  obtain  it  other- 
wise; and  as  the  soul's  concerns  are  apt  to  get  out 
of  order,  and  more  time  is  needed  for  thorough  self- 
examination,  than  an  hour  a  day,  set  apart,  not  peri- 
odically, but  as  your  necessities  require,  days  of  fasting 
and  humiliation  before  God.  On  these  occasions, 
deal  faithfully  with  yourselves.  Be  in  earnest  to 
search  out  all  your  secret  sins,  and  to  repent  of  them. 


198 


THOTJGHTS    ON 


Renew  your  covenant  with  God,  and  form  holy  re- 
solutions of  amendment  in  the  strength  of  divine 
grace,  and  if  you  find  upon  examination,  that  you 
have  been  Uving  in  any  sinful  indulgence,  probe 
the  festering  wound  to  the  core,  and  confess  your 
fault  before  God,  and  do  not  rest  until  you  have  had 
an  application  of  the  blood  of  sprinkling.  You  need 
not  ask  why  you  do  not  grow,  while  there  is  such  an 
ulcer  within  you.  Here,  it  is  to  be  feared,  is  the  root 
of  the  evil.  Sins  indulged  are  not  thoroughly  re- 
pented of  and  forsaken ;  or  the  conscience  has  not 
been  purged  effectually,  and  the  wound  still  festers. 
"  Come  to  the  fountain  opened  for  the  washing  away 
of  sin  and  uncleanness."  Bring  your  case  to  the 
great  Physician. 

6.  Cultivate  and  exercise  brotherly  love  more  than 
you  have  been  accustomed  to  do.  Christ  is  displeased 
with  many  of  his  professed  followers,  because  they 
are  so  cold  and  indifferent  to  his  members  on  earth; 
and  because  they  do  so  little  to  comfort  and  encourage 
them;  and  with  some,  because  they  are  a  stumbling 
block  to  the  weak  of  the  flock;  their  conversation 
and  conduct  not  being  edifying,  but  the  contrary. 
Perhaps  these  disciples  are  poor,  and  in  the  lower 
walks  of  life,  and  therefore  you  overlook  them,  as 
beneath  you.  And  thus  would  you  have  treated 
Christ  himself,  had  you  lived  in  his  time;  for  he  took 
his  station  among  the  poor  and  afflicted;  and  he  will 
resent  a  neglect  of  his  poor  saints  with  more  displea- 
sure than  he  would  of  the  rich.  Perhaps  they  do^not 
belong  to  your  party  or  sect,  and  you  are  only  con- 
cerned to  build  up  your  own  denomination.  Remem- 
ber how  Christ  condescended  to  treat  the  sinful  wo- 
man of  Samaria,  and  the  poor  woman  of  Canaan, 
and  remember  what  account  he  has  given  of  the  last 
judgment,  when  he  will  assume  to  himself  all  that 
has  been  done,  or  neglected  to  be  done,  to  his  humble 
followers.  There  should  be  more  Christian  conver- 
sation and  friendly  intercourse  between  the  followers 
of  Christ.  In  former  days,  "  They  that  feared  the 
Lord  spake  often  one  unto  another,  and  the  Lord 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


199 


hearkened  and  heard  it,  and  a  book  of  remembrance, 
was  written  for  them  that  feared  the  Lord  and  thought 
upon  iiis  name," 

7.  If  yon  are  in  good  earnest  to  make  greater  pro- 
gress in  piety,  yon  must  do  more  than  you  have  done 
for  the  promotion  of  God's  glory  and  of  Christ's 
kingdom  on  earth.  You  must  enter  with  livelier, 
deeper  feeling,  into  all  the  plans  which  the  Church 
has  adopted  to  advance  these  objects.  You  must 
give  more  than  you  have  done.  It  is  a  shame  to 
think  how  small  a  portion  of  their  gains  some  pro- 
fessors devote  to  the  Lord.  Instead  of  being  a  tithe, 
it  is  hardly  equal  to  the  single  sheaf  of  first  fruits.  If 
you  have  nothing  to  give,  labour  to  get  something. 
Sit  up  at  night  and  try  to  make  something,  for  Christ 
hath  need  of  it.  Sell  a  corner  of  your  land  and  throw 
the  money  into  the  treasury  of  the  Lord.  In  primi- 
tive times  many  sold  houses  and  lands,  and  laid  the 
whole  at  the  Apostles'  feet.  Do  not  be  afraid  of 
making  yourselves  poor  by  giving  to  the  Lord,  or  to 
his  poor.  His  word  is  better  than  any  bond,  and  he 
says,  "I  will  repay  it."  Cast  your  bread  on  the 
waters,  and  after  many  days  you  will  find  it  again. 
Send  the  Bible — send  missionaries — send  tracts  to  the 
perishing  heathen. 

8.  Practise  self-denial  every  day.  Lay  a  whole- 
some restraint  upon  your  appetites.  Be  not  con- 
formed to  this  world.  Let  your  dress,  your  house, 
your  furniture,  be  plain  and  simple,  as  becometh  a 
Christian.  Avoid  vain  parade  and  show  in  every 
thing.  Govern  your  family  with  discretion.  Forgive 
and  pray  for  your  enemies.  Have  little  to  do  with 
party  politics.  Carry  on  your  business  on  sober,  judi- 
cious principles.  Keep  clear  of  speculation  and  surety- 
ships. Live  peaceably  with  all  men  as  much  as  in 
you  lies.  Be  much  in  ejaculatory  prayer.  Keep  your 
heart  with  all  diligence.  Try  to  turn  to  spiritual 
profit  every  event  which  occurs;  and  be  fervently 
thankful  for  all  mercies. 

9.  For  your  more  rapid  growth  in  grace,  some  of 
you  will  be  cast  into  the  furnace  of  affliction.     Sick- 


200 


THOUGHTS    ON 


ness,  bereavement,  bad  conduct  of  children  and  rela- 
tives, loss  of  property,  or  of  reputation,  may  come 
upon  you  unexpectedly,  and  press  heavily  on  you. 
In  these  trying  circumstances,  exercise  patience  and 
fortitude.  Be  more  solicitous  to  have  the  affliction 
sanctified,  than  removed.  Glorify  God  while  in  the 
fire  of  adversity.  That  faith  which  is  most  tried,  is 
commonly  most  pure  and  precious.  Learn  from 
Christ  liow  you  ought  to  suffer.  Let  perfect  submis- 
sion to  the  will  of  God  be  aimed  at.  Never  indulge 
a  murmuring  or  discontented  spirit.  Repose  with 
confidence  on  the  promises.  Commit  all  your  cares 
to  God.  Make  known  your  requests  to  him  by 
prayer  and  supplication.  Let  go  your  too  eager 
grasp  of  the  world.  Become  familiar  with  death  and 
the  grave.  Wait  patiently  until  your  change  cometh; 
but  desire  not  to  live  a  day  longer  than  may  be  for 
the  glory  of  God. 

If  we  are  on  the  watch  we  often  may  find  good 
things  when  they  were  least  expected.  It  is  seldom 
that  I  consult  an  almanac  for  any  purpose,  but  wish- 
ing, the  other  day,  to  see  when  the  moon  would 
change,  I  opened  the  calendar  at  the  current  month, 
and  the  first  thing  which  struck  my  eye  was  the 
heading  of  a  paragraph  in  the  very  words  which  I  had 
selected  as  the  subject  of  this  essay — "  Hinderances  to 
Growth  in  Grace."  Of  course  I  preserved  the  short 
paragraph,  and  I  was  so  well  pleased  with  what  I 
read,  that  I  resolved  to  take  it  for  my  text — and  here 
it  is,  word  for  word: 

"  The  influence  of  wordly  relatives  and  compa- 
nions— embarking  too  deeply  in  business — approxi- 
mations to  fraud  for  the  sake  of  gain — devoting  too 
much  time  to  amusements — immoderate  attachment 
to  a  wordly  object — attendance  on  an  unbelieving  or 
unfaithful  ministry — languid  and  formal  observance 
of  religious  duties — shunning  the  society  and  religious 
converse  of  Christian  friends — relapse  into  known 
sin — oversight  and  of  course  non-improvement  of 
graces  already  attained." 

Now,  all  this  is  very  good  and  very  true;  the  only 


RELIGIOUS     EXPERIENCE,  201 

objection  is,  that  several  of  the  particulars  mentioned 
should  rather  be  considered  as  the  effects  of  a  real 
declension  in  religion  than  tfie  mere  hinderances  to 
growth;  although  it  is  true,  that  nothing  so  effectually 
hinders  our  progress  as  an  actual  state  of  backsliding. 
It  seems  desirable  to  ascertain,  as  precisely  as  we  can, 
the  reasons  why  Christians  commonly  are  of  so  diminu- 
tive a  stature  and  of  such  feeble  strength  in  their  reli- 
gion. When  persons  are  truly  converted  they  always 
are  sincerely  desirous  to  make  rapid  progress  in  pieiy; 
and  there  are  not  wanting  exceeding  great  and  gra- 
cious promises  of  aid  to  encourage  them  to  go  for- 
ward with  alacrity.  Why  then  is  so  little  advance- 
ment made?  Are  there  not  some  practical  mistakes 
very  commonly  entertained,  which  are  the  cause  of 
this  slowness  of  growth?  I  think  there  are,  and  will 
endeavour  to  specify  some  of  them.  And  first,  there 
is  a  defect  in  our  belief  of  the  freeness  of  divine  grace. 
To  exercise  unshaken  confidence  in  the  doctrine  of 
gratuitous  pardon  is  one  of  the  most  difficult  things  in 
the  world ;  and  to  preach  this  doctrine  fully  without 
verging  towards  antinomianism  is  no  easy  task,  and 
is  therefore  seldom  done.  But  Christians  cannot  but 
be  lean  and  feeble  when  deprived  of  the  proper  nutri- 
ment. It  is  by  faith,  that  the  spiritual  life  is  made  to 
grow;  and  the  doctrine  of  free  grace,  without  any 
mixture  of  human  merit,  is  the  only  true  object  of 
faith.  Christians  are  too  much  inclined  to  depend 
on  themselves,  and  not  to  derive  their  life  entirely 
from  Christ.  There  is  a  spurious  legal  religion, 
which  may  flourish  without  the  practical  belief  in 
the  absolute  freeness  of  divine  grace,  but  it  pos- 
sesses none  of  the  characteristics  of  the  Christian's 
life.  It  is  found  to  exist  in  the  rankest  growth 
in  systems  of  religion  which  are  utterly  false.  But 
even  when  the  true  doctrine  is  acknowledged,  in 
theory,  often  it  is  not  practically  felt  and  acted  on. 
The  new  convert  lives  upon  his  frames,  rather  than 
on  Christ;  and  the  older  Christian  still  is  found 
struggling  in  his  own  strength;  and  failing  in  his 
expectations  of  success,  he  becomes  discouraged  first, 


202  THOUGHTS    ON 

and  then  he  sinks  into  a  gloomy  despondency,  or 
becomes,  in  a  measure,  careless,  and  then  the  spirit 
of  the  world  comes  in  with  resistless  force.  Here,  I 
am  persuaded,  is  the  root  of  the  evil;  and,  until  reli- 
gious teachers  inculcate  clearly,  fully,  and  practically, 
the  grace  of  God  as  manifested  in  the  gospel,  we  shall 
have  no  vigorous  growth  of  piety  among  professing 
Christians.  We  must  be,  as  it  were,  identified  with 
Christ — crucified  with  him,  and  living  by  him,  and  in 
him  by  faith,  or  rather  have  Christ  living  in  us.  The 
covenant  of  grace  must  be  more  clearly  and  repeat- 
edly expounded  in  all  its  rich  plenitude  of  mercy,  and 
in  all  its  absolute  freeness. 

Another  thing  which  prevents  growth  in  grace,  is, 
that  Christians  do  not  make  their  obedience  to  Christ 
comprehend  every  other  object  of  pursuit.  Their 
religion  is  too  much  a  separate  thing,  and  they  pursue 
their  wordly  business  in  another  spirit.  They  try  to 
unite  the  service  of  God  and  Mammon.  Their  minds 
are  divided,  and  often  distracted  with  earthly  cares 
and  desires,  which  interfere  with  the  service  of  God; 
whereas  they  should  have  but  one  object  of  pursuit, 
and  all  that  they  do  and  seek,  should  be  in  subordina- 
tion to  this.  Every  thing  should  be  done  for  God 
and  to  God;  whether  they  eat  or  drink,  they  should 
do  all  to  his  glory.  As  the  ploughing  and  sowing  of 
the  wicked  is  sin,  because  done  without  regard  to 
God  and  his  glory;  so  the  secular  employments  and 
pursuits  of  the  pious  should  all  be  consecrated,  and 
become  a  part  of  their  religion.  Thus  they  would 
serve  God  in  the  field  and  in  the  shop,  in  buying  and 
selling,  and  getting  gain — all  would  be  for  God.  Thus 
their  earthly  labours  would  prove  no  hinderance  to 
their  progress  in  piety;  and  possessing  an  undivided 
mind,  having  a  single  object  of  pursuit,  they  could 
not  but  grow  in  grace,  daily.  He  whose  eye  is  single 
shall  have  his  whole  body  full  of  light. 

Again,  another  powerful  cause  of  hinderance  in 
the  growth  of  the  life  of  God  in  the  soul,  is,  that  we 
make  general  resolutions  of  improvement,  but  neglect 
to  extend  our  efforts  to  particulars;  and  we  promise 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  203 

ourselves  that  in  the  indefinite  future,  we  will  do 
much  in  the  way  of  reformation,  but  are  found  doing 
nothing  each  day  in  cultivating  piety.  We  begin  and 
end  our  days  without  aiming  or  expecting  to  make 
any  particular  advance  on  that  day.  Thus  our  best 
resolutions  evaporate  without  effect.  We  merely 
run  the  round  of  prescribed  duty,  satisfied  if  we  do 
nothing  amiss,  and  neglect  no  external  service  which 
we  feel  to  be  obligatory.  We  resemble  the  man  who 
purposes  to  go  to  a  certain  place,  and  often  resolves 
with  earnestness  that  he  will  some  day  perform  the 
journey,  but  never  takes  a  step  towards  the  place.  Is 
it  at  all  strange  that  that  person  who  on  no  day  makes 
it  his  distinct  object  to  advance  in  the  divine  life,  at 
the  end  of  months  and  years  is  found  stationary?  The 
natural  body  will  grow  without  our  thinking  about  it, 
even  when  we  are  asleep,  but  not  the  life  of  piety, 
which  only  increases  by,  and  through  the  exercises  of 
the  mind,  aiming  at  higher  measures  of  grace.  And, 
as  every  day  we  should  do  something  in  tliis  good 
work,  so  we  should  direct  our  attention  to  the  growth 
of  parlicular  graces;  especially  of  those  in  which  we 
know  ourselves  to  be  defective.  Are  we  weak  in 
faith?  let  us  give  attention  to  the  proper  means  of 
strengthening  our  faith;  and,  above  all,  apply  to  the 
Lord  to  increase  our  faith.  Is  our  love  to  God  cold 
and  hardly  perceptible,  and  greatly  interrupted  by 
long  intervals  in  which  God  and  Christ  is  not  in  all 
our  thoughts?  let  us  have  this  for  a  daily  lamentation 
at  the  throne  of  grace — let  us  resolve  to  meditate  more 
on  the  excellency  of  the  divine  attributes,  and  espe- 
cially on  the  love  of  God  to  us — let  us  be  much  in 
reading  the  account  of  Christ's  sufferings  and  death, 
and  be  importunate  in  prayer,  until  we  receive  more 
copious  effusions  of  the  Holy  Spirit;  for  the  fruit  of 
the  Spirit  is  love,  and  the  love  of  God  is  shed  abroad 
in  our  hearts  by  the  Holy  Ghost  which  is  given  unto 
us.  And  so  we  should  directly  aim  at  cultivating 
and  increasing  every  grace;  for  the  divine  life,  or 
"new  man,"  consists  of  these  graces,  and  the  whole 


204 


THOUGHTS    ON 


cannot  be  in  health  and  vigour,  while  the  constituent 
parts  are  feeble  and  in  a  state  of  decay.  The  same 
remarks  are  applicable  to  the  mortification  of  sin;  we 
are  prone  to  view  our  depravity  too  much  in  the 
general,  and  under  this  view  to  repent  of  it,  and  hum- 
ble ourselves  on  account  of  it;  whereas,  in  order  to 
make  any  considerable  progress  in  this  part  of  sancti- 
fication,  we  must  deal  with  our  sins  in  detail.  We 
must  have  it  as  a  special  object,  to  eradicate  pride  and 
vain  glory,  covetousness,  indolence,  envy,  discontent, 
anger,  &c.  There  should  be  af)propriate  means  used, 
suited  to  the  extirpation  of  each  particular  vice  of  the 
mind.  It  is  true,  indeed,  that  if  we  water  the  root  we 
may  expect  the  branches  to  flourish;  if  we  invigorate 
the  principle  of  piety,  the  several  Christian  virtues 
will  flourish;  but  a  skilful  gardener  will  pay  due 
attention  both  to  the  root  and  the  branches;  and,  in 
fact,  these  graces  of  the  heart  are  parts  of  the  root, 
and  it  is  by  strengthening  these,  that  we  do  invigo- 
rate the  root.  The  same  is  true,  as  it  relates  to  the 
remaining  principle  of  sin;  we  must  strike  our  blows 
chiefly  at  the  root  of  the  evil  tree,  but  those  inherent 
vices  which  were  mentioned,  and  others,  should  be 
considered  as  belonging  to  the  root,  and  when  we  aim 
at  their  destruction  particularly,  and  in  detail,  our 
strokes  will  be  most  effectual. 

I  shall  mention,  at  present,  but  one  other  cause  of 
the  slow  growth  of  believers  in  piety,  and  that  is  the 
neglect  of  improving  in  the  knowledge  of  divine 
things.  As  spiritual  knowledge  is  the  foundation  of 
all  genuine  exercises  of  religion;  so  growth  in  religion 
is  intimately  connected  with  divine  knowledge.  Men 
may  possess  unsanctified  knowledge  and  be  nothing 
the  better  for  it;  but  they  cannot  grow  in  grace  with- 
out increasing  in  the  knowledge  of  our  Lord  Jesus 
Christ.  "Being,"  says  Paul,  "fruitful  in  every  good 
work,  and  increasing  in  the  knowledge  of  God." 
"  Grow  in  grace,"  says  Peter,  "and  in  the  knowledge 
of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ."  Mr.  Edwards  remarks, 
that  the  more  faithful  lie  was  in  studying  the  Bible, 


EELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


205 


the  more  he  prospered  in  spiritual  things.  The  rea- 
son is  plain,  and  other  Christians  will  find  the  same  to 
be  true. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

Backsliding. — The  Backslider  restored. 

There  is  a  perpetual,  and  there  is  a  temporary  back- 
sliding. The  first  is  the  case  of  those  who,  being  par- 
tially awakened  and  enlightened  by  the  word  accom- 
panied by  the  common  operations  of  the  Spirit,  make 
a  profession  of  religion,  and,  for  a  while,  seem  to  ran 
well,  and  to  outstrip  the  humble  believer  in  zeal  and 
activity;  but  having  no  root  in  themselves,  in  the 
time  of  temptation,  fall  totally  away,  and  not  only 
relinquish  their  profession,  but  frequently  renounce 
Christianity  itself,  and  become  the  bitterest  enemies 
of  religion.  Or,  seduced  by  the  pride  of  their  own 
hearts,  they  forsake  the  true  doctrines  of  the  gospel, 
and  fall  in  love  with  some  flattering,  flesh-pleasing 
form  of  heresy;  and  spend  tlieir  time  in  zealous  ef- 
forts to  overthrow  that  very  truth,  which  they  once 
professed  to  prize.  Or,  thirdly,  they  are  overcome 
by  some  insidious  lust  or  passion,  and  fall  into  the  ha- 
bitual practice  of  some  sin,  which  at  first  they  secretly 
indulge,  but  after  awhile  cast  ofl"  all  disguise,  and 
show  to  all  that  they  are  enslaved  by  some  hurtful 
and  hateful  iniquity.  Persons  who  thus  apostatize 
from  the  profession  and  belief  of  Christianity,  or  who 
fall  into  a  habitual  course  of  sinning,  are  commonly 
in  the  most  hopeless  condition  of  all  who  live  in  the 
midst  of  the  means  of  grace.  When  they  openly 
reject  Christianity,  their  infidelity  is  commonly  accom- 
panied by  contempt  and  a  malign  temper,  which  often 
prompts  them  to  blasphemy;  and  are,  according  to 
our  apprehension,  in  great  danger  of  committing  the 
unpardonable  sin;  and  some  who  in  these  circum- 

14 


206  THOUGHTS    ON 

Stances  are  actuated  by  inveterate  hatred  to  the  trnth, 
and  who  make  use  of  their  tongues  to  express  the 
feeHngs  of  enmity  which  ranlde  in  them,  do  often  fall 
into  this  unpardonable  sin.  The  case  of  such  seems 
to  be  described  by  Paul,  in  the  sixth  chapter  of  his 
Epistle  to  the  Hebrews.  "  For  it  is  impossible  for 
those  who  were  once  enlightened,  and  have  tasted  of 
the  heavenly  gift,  and  were  made  partakers  of  the 
Holy  Ghost,  and  have  tasted  the  good  word  of  God 
and  the  powers  of  the  world  to  come,  if  they  shall 
fall  away,  to  renew  them  again  to  repentance,  seeing 
they  crucify  to  themselves  the  Son  of  God  afresh  and 
put  him  to  an  open  shame."  Some  suppose  that  the 
Apostle  here  describes  the  character  of  the  true  Chris- 
tian, and  that  he  merely  supposes  the  case,  if  such 
should  fall  away,  what  would  be  the  fearful  conse- 
quence; but  this  seems  to  us  a  forced  construction. 
It  seems  more  reasonable  to  believe  that  he  is  descri- 
bing a  case  which  may,  and  often  does  occur,  and 
that  the  description  applies  to  such  professors  as  had 
received  the  miraculous  endowments  of  the  Holy 
Spirit,  and  yet  apostatized:  and  by  crucifying  the 
Son  of  God  afresh  he  probably  alludes  to  the  manner 
in  which  those  who  went  back  to  the  Jews,  were 
required  to  execrate  the  name  of  Christ  in  the  Syna- 
gogues, and  to  profess  that  he  deserved  to  be  crucified 
as  he  had  been,  and  thus  put  him  to  an  open  shame. 
But  whether  such  apostates  do  actually  commit  the 
unpardonable  sin  or  not,  seems  in  most  cases  to  be  of 
little  consequence,  for  they  commonly  die  in  their 
sins,  and  all  sin  unrepented  of  is  unpardonable.  In 
some  cases,  however,  apostates  stop  short  of  infidel- 
ity and  blasphemy,  and  while  they  stand  aloof  from 
religion,  content  themselves  with  decency,  and  do  not 
treat  religion  with  disrespect;  yet  it  will  be  found  on 
examination,  that  the  hearts  of  such  are  extremely 
callous,  their  consciences  are  seared  as  with  a  hot 
iron.  The  Spirit  of  God,  evidently  has  left  them, 
and  strives  no  more  with  them;  and  they  often  die  as 
they  have  lived,  fearfully  insensible,  having  "  no  bands 
in  their   death.'"     But   sometimes  conscience  is   let 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


207 


loose  upon  them  in  their  last  hours,  and  they  are  left 
to  die  in  the  horrors  of  despair.  In  the  days  of  the 
apostles,  they  seem  to  have  had  some  way  of  know- 
ing when  a  man  had  committed  "  the  sin  unto  death," 
and  for  such,  Christians  were  not  to  pray,  as  their 
destiny  was  irretrievably  fixed:  but  such  knowledge 
cannot  be  possessed  now,  and  we  may  therefore 
pray  for  all,  as  long  as  they  are  in  the  place  of  repent- 
ance. 

But  when  we  speak  of  backsliding,  we  commonly 
mean  those  sad  departures  of  real  Christians  from 
God,  which  are  so  common,  and  often  so  injurious  to 
the  cause  of  religion.  These  cases  are  so  common, 
that  some  have  thought  that  all  Christians  had  their 
seasons  of  backsliding;  when  they  left  their  first  love, 
and  lost  the  sweet  relish  of  divine  things,  and  were 
excluded  from  intimate  communion  with  God.  But, 
however  common  backsliding  may  have  been  among 
Christians,  there  is  no  foundation  for  the  opinion, 
that  it  is  common  to  all ;  we  find  no  such  declension 
in  the  experience  of  Paul  or  John;  and  in  the  bio- 
graphies of  some  modern  saints  we  find  no  such  sad 
declension.  We  could  refer  to  many  recorded  ac- 
counts of  personal  experience,  but  it  will  be  sufficient 
to  mention  Mr.  Baxter,  Col.  Gardiner,  G.  Whitefield, 
and  Mr.  Brainerd.  No  doubt  all  experience  short 
seasons  of  comparative  coldness  and  insensibility, 
and  they  who  live  near  to  God  have  not  always  equal 
light,  and  life,  and  comfort,  in  the  divine  life.  Those 
fluctuations  of  feeling,  which  are  so  common,  are  not 
included  in  the  idea  of  a  state  of  backsliding.  This 
occurs  when  the  Christian  is  gradually  led  off  from 
close  walking  with  God,  loses  the  lively  sense  of 
divine  things,  becomes  too  much  attached  to  the 
world  and  too  much  occupied  with  secular  concerns; 
until  at  length  the  keeping  of  the  heart  is  neglected, 
closet  duties  are  omitted  or  slightly  performed,  zeal 
for  the  advancement  of  religion  is  quenched,  and 
many  things  once  rejected  by  a  sensitive  conscience, 
are  now  indulged  and  defended. 

All  this  may  take  place,  and  continue  long  before 


208  THOUGHTS    ON 

the  person  is  aware  of  his  danger,  or  acknowledges 
that  there  has  been  any  serious  departure  from  God. 
The  forms  of  religion  may  be  still  kept  up,  and  open 
sin  avoided.  But  more  commonly  baci^sliders  fall 
into  some  evil  habits;  they  are  evidently  too  much 
conformed  to  the  world,  and  often  go  too  far  in  par- 
ticipating in  the  pleasures  and  amusements  of  the 
world;  and  too  often  there  is  an  indulgence  in  known 
sin,  into  which  they  are  gradually  led,  and  on  account 
of  which  they  experience  frequent  compunction,  and 
make  solenjn  resolutions  to  avoid  it  in  future;  but 
when  the  hour  of  temptation  comes,  they  are  over- 
come again  and  again,  and  thus  they  live  a  miserable 
life,  enslaved  by  some  sin,  over  which,  though  they 
sometimes  struggle  hard,  they  cannot  get  the  victory. 
There  is  in  nature  no  more  inconsistent  thing  than  a 
backsliding  Christian.  Looking  at  one  side  of  his 
character,  he  seems  to  have  sincere,  penitential  feel- 
ings, and  his  heart  to  be  right  in  its  purposes  and 
aims,  but  look  at  the  other  side,  and  he  seems  to  be 
"  carnal,  sold  under  sin."  0  wretched  man!  how  he 
writhes  often  in  anguish,  and  groans  for  deliverance, 
but  he  is  like  Sampson  shorn  of  his  locks,  his  strength 
is  departed,  and  he  is  not  able  to  rise  and  go  forth,  at 
liberty,  as  in  former  times.  All  backsliders  are  not 
alike.  Some  are  asleep,  but  the  one  now  described  is 
in  a  state  of  almost  perpetual  conflict,  which  keeps 
him  wide  awake;  sometimes  when  his  pious  feelings 
are  lively  he  cannot  but  hope  that  he  loves  God  and 
hates  sin,  and  is  encouraged;  but  oh,  when  sin  pre- 
vails against  him,  and  he  is  led  away  captive,  he  can- 
not think  that  he  is  a  true  Christian.  Is  it  possible 
that  one  who  is  thus  overcome,  can  have  in  him  any 
principle  of  piety?  Sometimes  he  gives  up  all  hope, 
and  concludes,  that  he  was  deceived  in  ever  thinking 
himself  converted;  but  then  again,  when  he  feels  a 
broken  and  contrite  heart,  and  an  ardent  breathing 
and  groaning  after  deliverance,  he  cannot  but  con- 
clude, that  there  is  some  principle  above  mere  nature, 
operating  with  him. 

The  sleeping  backslider  is  one  who,  by  being  sur- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  209 

rounded  with  earlhly  comforts,  and  engaged  in  secu- 
lar pursuits,  and  mingling  much  with  the  decent  and 
respectable  people  of  the  world,  by  degrees,  loses  the 
deep  impression  of  divine  and  eternal  things;  his 
spiritual  senses  become  obtuse,  and  he  has  no  longer 
the  views  and  feelings  of  one  awake  to  the  reality  of 
spiritual  things.  His  case  nearly  resembles  that  of  a 
man  gradually  sinking  into  sleep.  Still  he  sees  dimly, 
and  hears  indistinctly,  but  he  is  fast  losing  the  im- 
pression of  the  objects  of  the  spiritual  world,  and 
sinking  under  the  impression  of  the  things  of  time 
and  sense.  There  may  be  no  remarkable  change  in 
the  external  conduct  of  such  a  person;  except  that  he 
has  no  longer  any  relish  for  religious  conversation, 
and  rather  is  disposed  to  waive  it.  And  the  differ- 
ence between  such  an  one,  and  the  rest  of  the  world 
becomes  less  and  less  distinguishable.  From  any 
thing  you  see  or  hear,  you  would  not  suspect  him  to 
be  a  professor  of  religion,  until  you  see  him  taking 
his  seat  at  the  Lord's  table.  Such  backsliders  are 
commonly  awakened  by  some  severe  judgments,  the 
eartlily  objects  on  which  they  had  too  much  fixed 
their  affections  are  snatched  away,  and  they  are 
made  bitterly  to  feel  that  it  is  an  evil  thing  to  forget, 
and  depart  from  the  living  God. 

Tliere  is  still  another  species  of  backsliding,  where 
by  a  sudden  temptation,  one  who  appeared  to  stand 
firm,  is  cast  down.  Such  was  the  fall  of  Peter,  and 
many  others  have  given  full  evidence,  that  a  man's 
standing  is  not  in  himself;  for  frequently  men  are 
overcome  in  those  very  things  in  which  they  were 
least  afraid,  and  had  most  confidence  in  their  own 
strength.  These  cases  are  usually  more  disgraceful 
than  other  instances  of  backsliding,  but  they  are  less 
dangerous;  for,  commonly,  where  there  is  grace  they 
produce  such  an  overwhelming  conviction  of  sin,  and 
shame  of  having  acted  so  unworthily,  that  repentance 
soon  follows  the  lapse,  and  the  person,  when  restored, 
is  more  watchful  than  ever  against  all  kinds  of  sin, 
and  more  distrustful  of  himself  Such  falls  may  be 
compared  to  a  sudden  accident  by  which  a  bone  is 


210  THOUGHTS   ON 

broken,  or  put  out  of  joint,  they  are  very  painful,  and 
cause  the  person  to  go  limping  all  the  remainder  of 
his  life,  but  do  not  so  much  affect  the  vitals,  as  more 
secret  and  insidious  diseases,  which  prey  inwardly, 
without  being  perceived. 

There  are  many  persons,  who  never  made  a  pub- 
lic profession  of  religion,  who  for  a  while,  are  the 
subjects  of  serious  impressions,  whose  consciences 
are  much  awake,  and  whose  feelings  are  tender. 
They  seem  to  love  to  hear  the  truth,  and  in  a  con- 
siderable degree  fall  under  its  influence,  so  as  to  be 
almost  persuaded  to  be  Christians;  and  for  a  season 
give  to  the  pious,  lively  hopes  of  their  speedy  conver- 
sion. They  are  such  as  the  person  to  whom  Christ 
said,  "thou  art  not  far  from  the  kingdom  of  God." 
But  through  the  blinding  influence  of  avarice  or  am- 
bition, or  some  other  carnal  motive,  they  are  led 
away  and  lose  all  their  serious  thoughts  and  good 
resolutions.  Such  persons  usually  lose  their  day  of 
grace.  I  have  seen  an  amiable  young  man,  weep- 
ing under  the  faithful  preaching  of  the  gospel,  and 
my  hopes  were  sanguine,  that  I  should  soon  see  him 
at  the  table  of  the  Lord,  but  alas!  I  believe  that,  on 
that  very  day,  he  quenched  the  Spirit,  and  has  been 
going  further  and  further  from  the  Lord  ever  since ! 

The  backsliding  believer  can  only  be  distinguished 
from  the  final  apostate  by  the  fact  of  his  recovery;  at 
least,  when  Christians  have  slidden  far  back,  no  satis- 
factory evidence  of  the  genuineness  of  their  piety  can 
be  exhibited;  nor  can  they  have  any  which  ought  to 
satisfy  their  own  minds.  In  the  course  of  pastoral 
visitation  I  once  called  upon  a  habitual  drunkard 
who  had  been  a  flaming  professor.  I  asked  him 
what  he  thought  of  his  former  exercises  of  religion. 
He  said,  that  he  was  confident  that  they  were  genu- 
ine; and  expressed  a  strong  confidence  that  the  Lord 
would  recover  him  from  his  backsliding  state.  Now 
here  was  the  very  spirit  of  Antinomianism.  Whether 
he  was  ever  recovered  from  his  besetting  sin,  I  cannot 
tell;  but  I  rather  think  that  he  continued  his  intem- 
perate habits  to  the  very  last.   I  have  often  remarked 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


211 


how  tenaciously  the  most  profane  and  obstinate  sin- 
ners will  cleave  to  the  hope  of  having  been  once  con- 
verted, if  Ihey  have  ever  been  the  subjects  of  religi- 
ous impressions.     One  of  the  profanest  men  I  ever 
heard  speak,  and  one  of  the  most  outrageous  drunk- 
ards, when  asked  on  his  death-bed,  to  which  he  was 
brought    by  intemperance,  respecting   his  prospects 
beyond   the  grave,  said,   that  when  a  very  young 
man,  he  had  been  among  the  Methodists,  and  thought 
that   he   was  converted;    and  though  he  had   lived 
in    the  most  open  and  daring  wickedness  for  more 
than  twenty  years   since  that  time,  yet  he  seemed 
to  depend  on  those  early  exercises.     Miserable  de- 
lusion!   But  a  drowning  man  will  catch  at  a  straw. 
An   old  captain,  whom  I  visited  on  his  death-bed, 
seemed  to  be  trusting  to  a  similar  delusion.     He  re- 
lated to  me  certain  religious  exercises  which  he  had 
when   he  first  went  to  sea,  but  of  which  he  had  no 
return  ever  since,  though  half  a  century  had  elapsed. 
I  have  met  with  few  persons  who  had  neglected  to 
cherish  and  improve    early  impressions,  who  were 
ever  afterwards  hopefully  converted.    They  are  gene- 
rally given  up  to  blindness  of  mind  and  hardness  of 
heart.     But  some  of  these  are  sometimes  brought  in, 
in  times  of  revival;  or,  at  a  late  period,  driven  to  the 
gospel  refuge,  by  severe  affliction.     The  conviction 
of  a  Christian   backslider  is  often  more  severe  and 
overwhelming  than  when  first  awakened.     When  his 
eyes  are  opened  to  see  the  ingratitude  and  wicked  re- 
bellion of  his  conduct,  he  is  ready  to  despair,  and  to 
give  up  all  hopes  of  being  pardoned.     He  sinks  into 
deep  waters  where  the  billows  of  divine  displeasure 
roll  over  him;  or  he  is  like  a  prisoner,  in  a  horrible 
pit,  and  in  the  miry  clay.    All  around  him  is  dark  and 
desolate,  and  he  feels  himself  to  be  in  a  deplorably 
helpless  condition.     His  own  strivings  seem  to  sink 
him  deeper  in  the  mire;  but,  as  his  last  and  only  re- 
source, he  cries  out  of  the  depths  unto  God.     As  his 
case  is  urgent  he  cries  with  unceasing  importunity, 
and  the  Lord  hears  the  voice  of  his  supplications,  and 
brings  him  up  out  of  the  horrible  pit,  and  places  his 


212  THOUGHTS    ON 

feet  upon  a  rock,  and  establishes  his  goings,  and  puts 
a  new  song  into  his  mouth,  even  of  praise  to  the  Re- 
deemer, The  freeness  of  pardon  to  the  returning 
backshder  is  a  thing  which  is  hard  to  be  believed,  un- 
til it  is  experienced.  No  sooner  is  the  proud  heart 
humbled,  and  the  hard  heart  broken  into  contrition, 
than  Jehovah  is  near  with  his  healing  balm.  To  heal 
the  broken  in  heart,  and  to  revive  the  spirit  of  the 
contrite  ones  is  the  delight  of  Immanuel.  And  he  re- 
ceives the  returning  penitent  without  reproaches.  He 
pardons  him  freely,  and  sheds  abroad  his  love  in  his 
heart,  and  fills  him  with  the  joy  of  the  Holy  Ghost. 
It  is,  in  fact,  a  new  conversion;  there  is  but  one  regen- 
eration. We  never  hear  of  a  sinner  being  born  a 
third  time — but  we  remember  that  Christ  said  unto 
Peter,  "  when  thou  art  converted  strengthen  thy 
brethren."  Indeed,  the  exercises  of  the  soul  on  these 
occasions  may  be  so  much  more  clear  and  comforta- 
ble than  on  its  first  conversion,  that  the  person  is  dis- 
posed to  think  that  this  is  the  real  commencement 
of  spiritual  life,  and  to  set  down  all  his  former  expe- 
rience as  spurious;  or,  at  least,  essentially  defective. 
Christians,  when  recovered  from  backsliding,  are  com- 
monly more  watchful,  and  walk  more  circumspectly 
than  they  ever  did  before.  They  cannot  but  be  more 
humble.  The  remembrance  of  their  base  departure 
from  God  fills  them  with  self-loathing.  Whenever 
spiritual  pride  would  lift  up  its  head,  one  thought  of 
a  disgraceful  fall  will  often  lay  the  soul  in  the  dust. 
And  whether  the  backslider's  sins  have  been  open 
or  secret,  the  recollection  of  his  traitorous  behaviour 
fills  him  with  shame  and  self-abhorrence.  When  such 
persons  have  so  conducted  themselves  as  to  bring 
upon  them  the  censures  of  the  church,  so  as  to  be 
separated  from  the  communion  of  his  people,  at  first, 
it  is  probable,  resentment  would  be  felt  towards  the 
officers  of  the  church  who  performed  this  painful  duty; 
but  after  reflection,  these  resentments  are  turned 
against  themselves,  and  they  pass  nnich  heavier  cen- 
sures on  themselves  than  the  church  ever  did.  Judi- 
cious, seasonable  discipline  is  a  powerful  means  of 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCK. 


213 


grace,  and  often  would  be  the  effectual  means  of  re- 
covering the  backslider,  if  exercised  as  it  should  be. 
Indeed,  this  may  be  said  to  be  one  main  design  of  its 
appointment.  If  whenever  there  is  an  appearance  of 
declension  in  a  church  member,  the  pastor,  or  some 
other  officer  of  the  church,  would  go  to  the  person, 
and,  in  the  spirit,  and  by  the  authority  of  Christ, 
would  address  a  serious  admonition  to  him,  and  then 
a  second,  and  a  third,  and  if  these  were  unheeded, 
then  to  bring  him  before  the  church,  backsliding,  in 
most  cases,  would  be  arrested  before  it  proceeded  far. 
But  every  member  of  the  church  has  a  duty  to  per- 
form towards  erring  brethren.  When  they  see  them 
going  astray,  they  should  not  act  towards  them  as  if 
they  hated  them,  but  should  in  any  wise  rebuke  them. 
Christian  reproof  from  one  Christian  to  anotlier  seems 
to  be  almost  banished  from  our  churches.  There  is  a 
quick  eye  to  discern  a  brother's  faults,  and  a  ready 
tongue  to  speak  of  them  to  others;  but  where  do  we 
now  find  the  faithful  reprover  of  sin,  who  goes  to  the 
man  himself,  without  saying  a  word  to  any  one,  and 
between  themselves,  faithfully  warns,  exhorts,  and 
entreats  a  straying  brother  to  return.  Tlie  serious 
discipline  of  formal  accusations,  and  witnesses,  &c.,  by 
such  a  course  would  be,  in  a  great  measure,  rendered 
unnecessary;  but  the  practice  is,  to  let  the  evil  grow 
until  it  has  become  inveterate,  and  breaks  out  into 
overt  acts,  and  then  there  is  a  necessity  to  pay  atten- 
tion to  the  matter,  and  to  put  in  force  the  discipline  of 
the  church.  But  even  this  often  proves  salutary,  and 
is  a  powerful  means  of  reclaiming  the  offender;  or,  if 
he  persists  in  his  evil  courses,  it  serves  to  separate  an 
unworthy  member  from  the  communion  of  saints. 
But  when  church  officers  and  private  Christians  ut- 
terly fail  in  their  duty  towards  backsliding  brethren, 
God  himself  often  makes  use  of  the  means  of  his  own, 
which  does  not  require  the  hUervention  of  men.  He 
smites  the  offender  with  his  rod,  and  causes  iiim  to 
smart  in  some  tender  part.  He  sends  such  afflictions 
as  bring  his  sins  forcibly  before  his  conscience.  He 
deprives  him  of  the  objects  for  the  sake  of  which  he 


214 


THOWGHTS    ON 


forsook  the  Lord. — It  may  be  the  wife  of  his  youth, 
or  a  beloved,  child,  on  which  his  affections  were  too 
fondly  fixed,  so  as  to  become  idolatrous.  Or,  if  it  was 
the  love  of  the  world  which  was  the  seductive  cause 
of  his  backsliding,  "riches  are  caused  to  make  to 
themselves  wings  and  flee  away  like  the  eagle  to 
heaven."  Or,  was  the  love  of  ease  and  indulgence 
of  the  sensual  appetites  the  cause  of  his  delinquency, 
the  stroke  falls  on  his  own  body.  He  is  brought  low 
by  sickness,  and  is  tried  upon  his  bed  with  excru- 
ciating pains,  until  he  cries  out  in  his  distress,  and 
humbly  confesses  his  sins.  Or,  if  he  was  carried 
away  by  an  undue  love  of  the  honour  that  cometh 
from  men,  it  is  not  unlikely  that  his  reputation,  which 
he  cherished  with  a  fondness  which  caused  him  to 
neglect  the  honour  of  his  God,  will  be  permitted  to  be 
tarnished  by  the  tongue  of  slander,  and  things  may 
be  so  situated,  that  although  innocent,  he  may  not 
have  it  in  his  power  to  make  the  truth  appear. 
Children,  too  much  indulged,  become,  by  their  mis- 
conduct, fruitful  causes  of  afliiction  to  parents;  and 
thus  they  are  made  to  suffer  in  the  very  point  where 
they  had  sinned.  Look  at  the  case  of  Eli  and  of 
David.  All  afflictions,  however,  are  not  for  chastise- 
ment, but  sometimes  for  trial;  and  those  whom  God 
loves  best  are  most  afflicted  in  this  world.  They  are 
kept  in  the  furnace,  and  that  heated  seven  times,  until 
their  dross  is  consumed,  and  their  piety  shines  forth 
as  pure  gold,  which  has  been  tried  in  the  fire.  But 
we  are  now  concerned  only  with  those  afflictions 
which  are  most  effective  to  bring  back  the  backslider; 
the  virtue  of  which  the  Psalmist  acknowledges  when 
he  says,  "It  is  good  for  me  to  be  afflicted,  for  before 
I  was  afflicted  I  went  astray."  It  may  be  truly  said, 
that  many  who  had  backslidden  never  would  have 
returned  had  it  not  been  for  the  rod;  other  means 
seemed  to  have  lost  their  power,  but  this  comes  home 
to  the  feelings  of  every  one.  Whether  a  believer  is 
ever  permitted  to  go  out  of  the  world  in  a  backslid- 
den state,  is  a  question  of  no  practical  importance; 
but  it  seems  probable  that  Christians  die  in  all  condi- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  215 

tionsin  which  any  of  this  character  are  ever  found.  No 
one  has  any  right  to  presume,  that  if  he  backslides, 
death  may  not  overtake  him  in  that  unprepared  con- 
dition. Backsliding  then  is  a  fearful  evil ;  may  we  all 
be  enabled  to  avoid  it;  or  if  fallen  into  it,  to  be  reco- 
vered speedily  from  so  dangerous  a  state! 


CHAPTER  XV. 

The  rich  man  and  the  poor. — The  various  trials  of  believers. 

They  are  not  the  happy  whom  the  blinded  would 
think  to  be  such.  This  man  of  successful  enterprise, 
and  increasing  wealth  had  some  enjoyment  while 
busily  occupied  in  makir)g  a  fortune;  but  now  when 
he  has  arrived  at  a  higher  pitch  of  wealth  than  his 
most  sanguine  hopes  had  anticipated,  he  is  far  from 
being  happy,  or  even  contented.  The  desire  of  ac- 
quisition has  grown  into  an  inveterate  habit,  and  he 
cannot  stop  in  his  career;  he  must  find  out  some  new 
enterprise;  he  must  engage  in  some  new  speculation; 
and  before  all  is  over,  it  is  well  if  he  loses  not  all  he 
had  gained;  and  being  accustomed  to  live  high,  he  is 
unprepared  to  meet  poverty;  and  to  preserve  his 
family  from  such  a  mortifying  change  of  circum- 
stances, he  contrives  ways  and  means  to  defraud  his 
creditors.  This  man  is  not  happy  in  his  prosperity, 
and  under  a  reverse  of  fortune,  he  is  truly  miserable. 
He  has  put  away  a  good  conscience,  which  is  the 
most  essential  ingredient  in  that  peace  which  Christ 
gives  to  his  disciples.  His  reputation  too,  if  not  tar- 
nished, remains  under  a  dark  cloud  of  suspicion, 
which  never  can  be  removed.  Abroad,  he  meets 
with  neglect  and  sometimes  contempt,  from  those  on 
whom  he  once  looked  down;  at  home  he  has  before 
him  the  sad  spectacle  of  a  family  degraded  from  their 
former  rank,  and  under  all  the  feelings  of  mortified 


216 


THOUGHTS    ON 


pride,  struggling  to  conceal  their  poverty  from  the 
gaze  and  contempt  of  an  unpitying  world.  But  even 
if  no  reverse  is  experienced,  and  the  man  continues  to 
be  successful  in  all  his  enterprises;  and  if  at  the  close 
of  his  career,  he  can  calculate  millions,  in  the  bank, 
or  in  real  estate;  and  his  only  remaining  difficulty 
is,  how  to  dispose  of  such  a  mass  of  wealth.  He  has 
a  son,  it  is  true,  but  he  is  a  base  profligate,  and  in  a 
single  year,  would,  by  reckless  speculation,  or  at  the 
gaming  table,  dissipate  the  whole  which  has  been 
so  carefully  hoarded  up.  And  yet  this  man  could 
scarcely  be  induced  to  give  a  dollar  to  any  benevo- 
lent object,  lest  he  should  lessen  the  amount  which  he 
was  by  every  means  raking  together,  for  this  unwor- 
thy son.  He  has  daughters,  too,  whose  liusbands  in 
selecting  them  had  more  respect  to  their  fortunes,  than 
to  any  personal  qualifications,  and  these  are  impa- 
tient, that  the  old  man  should  live  so  long,  and  hold 
the  purse-strings  with  so  close  a  gripe.  Though  they 
will  go  through  all  the  ceremonial  of  deep  grief,  and 
mourn  as  decently,  and  as  long  as  fashion  requires; 
yet  no  event  is  heard  with  more  heart-felt  pleasure, 
than  that  their  aged  relative  is  at  last  obliged  to  give 
up  all  his  possessions. 

Are  the  rich  happy?  not  such  as  have  been  de- 
scribed. But  there  are  a  favoured  few  who  seem 
to  have  learned  the  secret  of  using  wealth  so  as  to 
do  much  good,  and  to  derive  from  it  much  enjoy- 
ment. They  are  desirous  of  making  increase  too,  but 
it  is  all  for  the  Lord ;  not  to  be  hoarded,  until  they  are 
obliged  to  leave  it,  and  then  to  be  distributed  among 
benevolent  societies.  No;  they  are  continually  con- 
triving methods  of  making  it  produce  good,  noiv. 
They  are  parsimonious  to  themselves,  that  they  may 
be  liberal  to  the  poor;  and  may  be  able  to  enrich  the 
treasury  of  the  Lord.  Such  men  are  blessed,  in  their 
deed;  and  though  unostentatious  in  their  charities, 
their  light  carmot  be  hid.  A  few  rich  men  of  this 
description  have  lived  in  England,  and  even  our  new 
country,  records  with  gratitude,  the  names  of  a  few 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE,  217 

benefactors  of  tlie  public;  and  we  trust  in  God  that 
the  number  will  be  multiplied.  Reader,  go  and  do 
likewise. 

But,  more  commonly,  the  elect  of  God  are  not  called 
to   glorify  him  in  this  way.     Wealth  is  a  dangerous 
talent,  and  is  very  apt  so  to  block  up  the  way  to 
heaven,  that  they  who  do  press  in,  have,  as  it  were, 
to  squeeze  through  a  gate  as  difficult  of  entrance  as 
the  eye  of  a  needle  to  an  elephant:  and  alas!  many 
professors  who  bid  fair  for  heaven,  when  in  moderate 
circumstances,  when  become  rich, are  found  "drown- 
ed in  perdition'" — "pierced  through  with  many  sor- 
rows."    Poverty  and  suffering  are  by  infinite  wisdom 
judged  best  for  the  traveller  to  Zion.     Let  the  Lord's 
people  be  contented  with  their  condition,  and  thank- 
ful that  they  are  preserved  iVom  snares  and  tempta- 
tions, which  they  would  have  found  it  difficult  to  with- 
stand.    God  will  not  suffer  them  to  be  tempted  above 
what  they  are  able  to  bear,  but  with  the  temptation 
provides  a  way  for  their  escape.     The  rich  are  ex- 
posed to  suffering  as  well  as  the  poor;  though  his  suf- 
ferings  may  be  of  a  different  kind.     The  poor  man 
may  be  forced  by  necessity  to  live  on  coarse  bread!; 
the  rich  also,  while  tantalized  with  the  daily  sight  of 
the  finest  of  the  wheat,  is  obliged  for  the  sake  of  his 
health  to  live  upon  bran.     The  poor  man  lies  on  a 
hard  bed,  because  he  can  afford  to  get  no  better;  the 
rich  man  lies  as  hard  to  preserve  himself  from  aches 
and  pains,  which  are  the   natural  fruit  of  luxury. 
The  poor  man  has  little  of  the  honours  of  the  world, 
but  then  he  is  envied  by  none,  and  passes  along  in 
obscurity,  without  being  set  up  as  a  mark  to  be  shot 
at,  by  envy  and  malignity,  which  is  often  the  lot  of 
the  rich.     When  sickness  comes,  the  rich  man  has 
some  advantages,  but  when  oppressed  with  painful 
sickness  neither  a  bed  of  down,  nor  rich  hangings  and 
carpets,  contribute  any  thing  to  his  relief;  and  in  such 
a  time  of  distress,  the  [)rivations  of  the  poor,  though 
the  imagination  readily  magnifies  them,  add  much  to 
the  pain  produced  by  disease.     But  we  have  dwelt 
too  long  on  this  comparison  between  the  real  suffer- 


218 


THOTTGHTS    ON 


ings  of  the  rich  and  the  poor.     More  after  all  depends 
upon  the  submission  and   patient  temper  of  mind, 
than  upon  external  circumstances;  and,  indeed,  so 
short  is  the  time  of  man's  continuance  upon  earth, 
and  so    infinite   the  joys  or  miseries  of  the  future 
world,  that  to  make  much  of  these  little  differences 
would  he   like  estimating  the  weight  of  a  feather, 
when  engaged  in  weighing  mountains.     Who  thinks 
it   a   matter  of  any    concern,   whether  the   circum- 
stances of  persons  who  lived  a  thousand  years  ago 
were   affluent  or  destitute?    except,  so   far  as   these 
external  enjoyments  and    privations   contributed   to 
their   moral  improvement,  or  the  contrary?     If  we 
could  be  duly  impressed  with  the  truths  which  re- 
spect our  eternal  condition,  we  should  consider  our 
afflictions  here  as  scarcely  worthy  of  being  named. 
Thus  the  apostle  Paul  seemed  to  view  his  own  suffer- 
ings, and  those  of  his  fellow  Christians,  when  he  said, 
"For  I  reckon  that  the  sufferings  of  this  present  time, 
are  not  worthy  to  be  compared  with  the  glory  which 
shall  be  revealed  in  us."     Compared  with  the  suffer- 
ings of  others,  those  of  the  apostle  were  neither  few 
nor  small;  but  in  the  view   of  eternity  by  faith,  he 
calls  them  "  these  light  afflictions  which  are  but  for  a 
moment;"  and  he  had  learned  the  happy  art,  not  only 
of  being  contented,  in  whatever  state  he  was,  but  of 
rejoicing  in  all  his  tribulations;  not  that  tribulation, 
considered  in  itself,  could  be  a  matter  of  rejoicing,  for 
who  ever  found   pain  and  reproach  to  be  pleasant? 
But  he  rejoiced  in  these  things  on  account  of  their 
salutary  effects,   "for,"  says  h(j,  "tribulation  work- 
eth  patience,  and    patience   experience,    and   expe- 
rience hope,  because  the  love  of  God  is  shed  abroad 
in  our  hearts  by  the  Holy  Ghost."     The  primitive 
Christians  were  encouraged  to  bear  patiently  and  joy- 
fully, their  present  sufferings,  on  account  of  the  rich 
and   gracious   reward    which  awaited  them   in   the 
world  to  come.      Upon  the  mere  principle  of  con- 
trast, our  earthly  sorrows  will  render  our  heavenly 
joys  the  sweeter.     BiU  this  is  not  all, — hear  the  words 
of  Jesus  himself,  "Blessed  are  they  who  are  perse- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPEKIENCE.  219 

ciited  for  righteousness  sake,  for  theirs  is  the  kingdom 
of  heaven.  Blessed  are  ye  when  men  shall  revile 
yon,  and  persecute  yon,  and  say  all  manner  of  evil 
against  you  falsely,  for  my  sake,  rejoice  and  be  ex- 
ceeding glad,  for  great  is  your  reward  in  heaven," 
Peter  also  testifies,  "  and  if  ye  suffer  for  righteousness 
sake,  happy  are  ye," — "  for  it  is  better,  if  the  will  of 
God  be  so,  that  ye  suffer  for  well  doing  than  for  evil 
doing.  For  Christ  once  suffered,  the  just  for  the  un- 
just." He  was  also  of  the  same  opinion  with  his 
brother  Paul,  that  Christians  ought  to  rejoice  in  all 
their  sufferings  for  righteousness  sake,  "  Beloved," 
says  he,  "  think  it  not  strange  concerning  the  fiery 
trial  which  is  to  try  you,  as  though  some  strange 
thing  happened  unto  you:  but  rejoice,  inasmuch  as 
ye  are  partakers  of  Christ's  sufferings,  that  when  his 
glory  shall  be  revealed,  ye  may  be  glad  also  with 
exceeding  joy.  If  ye  be  reproached  for  the  name  of 
Christ,  happy  are  ye,  for  the  Spirit  of  God  resteth  on 
you."  "  If  any  man  suff'er  as  a  Christian,  let  him 
not  be  ashamed,  but  let  him  glorify  God  on  this  be- 
half." Let  Zion's  mourners  lift  up  their  heads  and 
rejoice,  for  though  weeping  may  endure  for  the  night, 
joy  Cometh  in  the  morning!  Let  all  Christians  mani- 
fest to  others  the  sweetness  and  excellency  of  religion, 
by  rejoicing  continually  in  the  Lord.  The  perennial 
sources  of  their  spiritual  joy  can  never  fail — for  while 
God  lives  and  reigns,  they  ought  to  rejoice,  since 
Christ  has  died,  and  ever  lives  to  make  intercession 
for  them,  they  have  ground  of  unceasing  joy.  While 
the  throne  of  grace  is  accessible,  let  the  saints  rejoice; 
let  them  rejoice  in  all  the  promises  of  God,  which  are 
exceeding  great  and  precious,  and  are  all  yea  and 
amen  in  Christ  Jesus  to  the  glory  of  God. 

In  one  sense,  all  our  sufferings  are  the  fruits  of  sin, 
for  if  we  had  never  sinned,  we  should  never  have 
suffered:  but,  in  another  sense,  the  suff'erings  of  be- 
lievers are  produced  by  love,  "whom  the  Father 
loveth,  he  chasteneth  and  scourgeth  every  son  which 
he  receiveth."  As  in  the  economy  of  salvation,  God 
leaves  his  chosen  people  to  struggle  with  the  remain- 


220  THOUGHTS    ON 

ders  of  sin  in  their  own  hearts;  so  he  has  ordained, 
that  their  pilgrimage  to  the  heavenly  Canaan,  shall  be 
through  much  tribulation.  From  the  beginning  the 
saints  have  generally  been  a  poor  and  afflicted  people, 
often  oppressed  and  persecuted,  and  when  exempt 
from  sufferings  from  the  hands  of  men,  they  are  often 
visited  with  sickness,  or  have  their  hearts  sorely- 
lacerated  by  the  bereavement  of  dear  friends,  are 
punished  with  poverty,  or  loaded  with  obloquy  and 
reproach.  Tliere  seems  to  be  an  incongruity  in  be- 
lievers enjoying  ease  and  prosperity,  in  this  world, 
when  their  Lord  was  "  a  man  of  sorrows  and  ac- 
quainted with  grief."  It  seems,  indeed,  to  be  a  con- 
dition of  our  reigning  with  Him,  that  we  should  suffer 
with  Him.  When  James  and  John,  under  the  influ- 
ence of  ambition,  asked  for  the  highest  places  in 
his  kingdom,  he  said  to  them,  "can  ye  drink  of  the 
cup  which  I  drink  of,  and  be  baptized  with  the  bap- 
tism that  I  am  baptized  with?"  they  seem  not  to 
have  understood  his  meaning,  for,  with  self-confi- 
dence, they  answered,  "  we  are  able."  He  replied, 
"ye  shall,  indeed,  drink  of  the  cup  that  I  drink  of, 
and  be  baptized  with  the  baptism  that  I  am  baptized 
with."  For  the  Christian  to  seek  great  things  for 
himself  here,  does  not  become  the  condition  of  a  dis- 
ciple of  the  meek  and  lowly  Jesus.  The  early  Chris- 
tians were  called  to  endure  much  persecution,  but 
they  did  not  count  their  lives  dear  unto  them.  When 
the  apostles,  after  our  Lord's  ascension,  were  publicly 
beaten  for  preaching  that  the  Saviour  was  risen,  they 
rejoiced  together  that  they  were  counted  worthy  to 
suff'er  such  things  for  his  name's  sake.  It  is  a  stri- 
king peculiarity  in  the  religion  of  Christ,  that,  in  the 
conditions  of  discipleship,  "taking  up  the  cross"  is 
the  first  thing.  He  never  tempted  any  to  follow  him 
with  the  promise  of  earthly  prosperity,  or  exemption 
from  suffering.  On  the  contrary,  he  assures  them 
that  in  the  world  they  should  have  tribulation.  He 
does,  indeed,  promise  to  those  who  forsake  father  and 
mother,  wife  and  children,  brothers  and  sisters,  houses 
and  lands,  a  compensation  of  a  hundred  fold  more 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  221 

than  they  left;  but  he  permits  them  not  to  fall  into 
the  delusion  that  this  hundred  fold  was  to  consist  in 
earthly  good  things,  for  he  immediately  adds,  ^^  with 
persecution.''''  Whosoever  will  not  take  Clirist  with 
his  cross,  shall  never  sit  with  him  on  his  throne. 
"A'b  cross,  no  crown,''^  holds  out  an  important  truth 
in  few  words.  Christ,  in  his  intercessory  prayer,  does 
request,  for  his  disciples,  that  they  may  be  kept  from 
the  evil,  which  is  in  the  world,  but  he  means  from  the 
"evil  one," — from  the  evil  of  sin,  and  from  tempta- 
tions above  their  strength  to  endure. 

The  reasons  why  Christ  has  chosen  that  his  people 
should  be  afflicted,  and  often  sorely  persecuted,  are 
not  difficult  to  be  ascertained.  In  the  former  essay, 
it  was  shown  that  the  rod  is  one  of  God's  means  for 
recovering  backsliders  from  their  wanderings;  but 
afflictions  are  also  employed  to  prevent  Christians 
from  backsliding.  In  prosperity,  pride  is  apt  to  rise 
and  swell;  carnal  security  blinds  their  eyes;  the  love 
of  riches  increases;  spiritual  affections  are  feeble; 
and  eternal  things  are  viewed  as  far  off,  and  concealed 
by  a  thick  mist.  These  circumstances  are,  indeed, 
the  common  precursors  of  backsliding;  but  to  prevent 
this  evil,  and  to  stir  up  the  benumbed  feelings  of  piety, 
the  believer  is  put  into  the  furnace.  At  first,  he  finds 
it  hard  to  submit,  he  is  like  a  wild  bull  in  a  net. 
His  pride  and  his  love  of  carnal  ease  resist  the  hand 
that  smites  him;  but  severe  pain  awakes  him  from 
his  sleep,  and  he  finds  himself  in  the  hands  of  his 
heavenly  Father,  and  sees  that  nothing  can  be  gained 
by  murmuring  or  rebelling.  His  sins  rise  up  to 
view,  and  he  is  convinced  of  the  justice  of  the  di- 
vine dispensations.  His  hard  heart  begins  to  yield, 
and  he  is  stirred  up  to  cry  mightily  to  God  for  help- 
ing grace.  Although  he  wishes,  and  prays  for  de- 
liverance from  the  pressure  of  affliction;  yet  he  is 
more  solicitous  that  it  should  be  rendered  effectual 
to  subdue  his  pride,  wean  him  from  the  love  of  the 
world,  and  give  perfect  exercise  to  patience  and  re- 
signation, than  that  it  should  be  removed.  He  knows 
that  the  furnace  is   the  place  for  purification.     He 

15 


222  THOUGHTS    ON 

hopes  and  prays  that  his  dross  may  be  consumed;  and 
that  he  may  come  forth  as  gold,  which  has  passed 
seven  times  through  the  refiner's  fire. 

Paul  attributes  a  powerful  efficacy  to  afflictions; 
so  as  to  place  them  among  the  most  efficacious  means 
of  grace.  "  For,"  says  he,  "  our  light  affliction 
which  is  but  for  a  moment,  worketh  out  for  us  a  far 
more  exceeding  and  eternal  weight  of  glory."  "  Fur- 
thermore, we  have  had  fathers  of  the  flesh,  which 
corrected  us  and  we  gave  them  reverence,  shall  we 
not  much  rather  be  in  subjection  to  the  Father  of 
spirits  and  live.  For  they,  verily,  for  a  few  days, 
corrected  us  after  their  own  pleasure,  but  He  for  our 
profit,  that  we  might  be  partakers  of  his  holiness. 
Now,  no  chastening  for  the  present  seemeth  to  be  joy- 
ous but  grievous;  nevertheless,  afterward  it  yieldeth 
the  peaceable  fruit  of  righteousness  unto  them  who 
are  exercised  thereby,"  When  faith  is  in  very 
lively  exercise,  believers  can  rejoice  even  in  tribula- 
tion. Not  that  they  cease  to  feel  the  pain  of  the  rod 
— for  then  it  would  cease  to  be  an  affliction — but 
while  they  experience  the  smart,  they  are  convinced 
that  it  is  operating  as  a  salutary  though  bitter  medi- 
cine; and  they  rejoice  in  the  prospect,  or  feeling  of 
returning  health.  But,  again,  God  pours  not  the  rich 
consolations  of  his  grace  into  a  heart  that  is  not 
broken.  "  He  sendeth  the  rich  empty  away."  "  The 
whole  need  not  a  physician;"  but  when  by  affliction 
he  has  broken  the  hard  heart,  and  emptied  it  of  self- 
confidence,  he  delights  to  pour  in  the  joy  of  the  Holy 
Ghost.  Therefore,  it  often  occurs,  that  the  believer's 
most  joyful  seasons  are  his  suffering  seasons.  He 
has,  it  is  true,  more  pungent  pain,  than  when  in 
prosperity  and  ease,  but  he  has  also  richer,  deeper 
draughts  of  consolation.  Though  sorrow  and  joy 
are  opposite,  there  is  a  mysterious  connexion  between 
them.  Sorrow,  as  it  were,  softens  and  prepares  the 
heart  for  the  reception  of  the  joy  of  the  Lord.  As 
the  dispensations  of  God  towards  his  children,  are 
exceedingly  diverse,  in  different  ages,  so  his  dealings 
with  individual  believers,  who  live  at  the  same  time, 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  223 

are  very  different.  Why  it  is  so  we  cannot  tell;  but 
we  are  sure,  that  he  has  wise  reasons  for  all  that  he 
does.  In  some  cases,  pious  persons  appear  to  pass 
through  life  with  scarcely  a  touch  from  his  rod ; 
while  others,  who  to  us  do  not  appear  to  need  more 
chastisement  than  those,  are  held  the  greater  part  of 
their  life  under  the  heavy  pressure  of  affliction,  with 
scarcely  any  intermission.  Here  is  a  Christian  man 
who  has  nearly  reached  the  usual  termination  of 
human  life,  and  has  hardly  known  what  external 
affliction  is,  in  his  own  experience.  Prosperity  has 
attended  him  through  his  whole  course.  But  there 
is  a  desolate  widow  who  has  been  bereaved  of  her 
husband  and  children,  and  has  neither  brother  nor 
sister,  nephew  nor  niece,  and  for  eight  years  has  been 
confined  to  her  bed,  by  wasting  and  painful  disease, 
and  has  no  hope  of  relief  on  this  side  of  the  grave. 
Such  a  disparity  is  striking;  but  we  see  only  the 
outside  of  things.  There  are  sore  afflictions  of  the 
mind,  while  the  body  is  in  health.  That  man  may 
have  had  severer  chastisement  than  this  afflicted,  des- 
olate widow.  I  have  heard  an  aged  Christian  de- 
clare, that  though  he  had  experienced  much  sickness, 
lost  many  dear  friends,  and  met  with  many  sore  dis- 
appointments in  life,  his  sufferings  on  these  accounts 
were  not  to  be  compared  with  the  internal  anguish 
which  he  often  endured,  and  of  which  no  creature 
had  the  least  conception.  This  shows  that  we  are 
not  competent  to  form  an  accurate  judgment  of  the 
sufferings  of  different  persons.  Besides,  when  afflic- 
tion has  been  long  continued,  we  become,  in  a  mea- 
sure, accustomed  to  it;  and,  as  it  were,  hardened 
against  it;  but  when  we  judge  of  such  cases,  we 
transfer  our  own  acute  feelings  to  the  condition; 
which  are  no  correct  standard  of  the  sufferings  of  the 
patient,  under  a  lingering  disease.  The  widow,  to 
whom  I  referred,  was  not  a  fictitious,  but  a  real  per- 
son. I  once  visited  her,  and  conversed  with  her, 
and  found  her  serene  and  happy;  desiring  nothing 
but  a  speedy  departure,  that  she  might  be  absent 
from  the  body,  and  present  with  the  Lord;  but  she 


224  THOUGHTS    ON 

was  not  impatient;  she  was  willing  to  remain  and 
suffer  just  as  long  as  God  pleased.  Her  heart  was 
truly  subdued  to  the  obedience  of  Christ.  There  was 
only  one  earthly  object  for  which  she  seemed  to  feel 
solicitude,  and  that  was  for  the  little  forsaken,  and 
almost  desolate  church  of  which  she  was  a  member. 
For  a  series  of  years,  disaster  after  disaster  had  fallen 
upon  this  little  flock.  Tiieir  house  of  worship  had 
been  accidentally  burnt,  they  had  been  so  long  with- 
out a  pastor,  that  they  dwindled  down  to  a  few  dis- 
heartened and  scattered  members,  and  only  one  aged 
elder  remained.  Seldom  was  there  an  occasional 
sermon  in  the  place,  as  they  had  no  convenient  house 
of  meeting  on  the  Sabbath.  Now,  although  this  poor 
widow  could  not  have  attended,  if  there  had  been 
preaching  every  Lord's  day,  yet  that  little  church 
lay  as  a  burden  on  her  mind;  and  I  heard  a  minister 
who  knew  the  circumstances  say,  that  as  once  a  poor 
wise  man  saved  a  city,  so  this  poor,  pious  widow,  by 
her  prayers;  saved  a  church  from  extinction.  For 
before  her  death,  a  neat,  new  church  was  erected,  and 
a  pastor  settled,  and  a  number  of  souls  hopefully 
converted,  and  gathered  into  the  church.  I  was 
once  on  a  visit  to  a  friend,  who  requested  me  to  ac- 
company her  to  see  a  sick  woman,  supposed  to  be 
near  her  end.  The  house  was  not  a  cabin,  but  a 
mere  wreck  of  a  once  comfortable  dwelling.  Every 
appearance  of  comfort  was  absent.  The  partitions 
appeared  to  have  been  taken  down,  and  the  whole 
house  was  turned  into  one  large  room.  There  was 
no  glass  in  the  windows — but  that  mattered  not,  it 
was  summer.  Upon  entering  this  desolate  place,  I 
saw  the  sick  woman  lying  on  a  miserable  bed,  unable 
to  raise  her  head  from  the  pillow,  and  attended  only 
by  an  aged  mother  above  eighty  years  of  age,  and  a 
little  daughter  about  seven  or  eight.  Here,  indeed, 
seemed  to  be  the  very  picture  of  wretchedness;  and  I 
was  told  that  the  brute  of  a  husband  generally  came 
home  drunk,  and  never  gave  her  a  kind  or  soothing 
word. — Hear  the  conclusion — I  verily  thought  be- 
fore I  left  the  house,  that  this  was  the  happiest  woman 


RELIGIOUS   EXPERIENCE.  225 

I  ever  saw.  Her  devout  and  tender  eye  was  sweetly 
fixed  on  heaven.  Pier  countenance  was  serene,  and 
illumined  with  a  heavenly  smile. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

Death-bed  of  the  Believer. 

We  have  arrived  now,  at  a  very  solemn  part  of  our 
subject.     The  writer  feels  that  it  is  so  to  himself,  as 
he  knows  that  he  must  soon  be  called  to  travel  the 
road  which  leads  to  the  narrow  house,  appointed  for 
all  living.     If  after  having  gone  through  this  scene, 
he  were  permitted  to  return,  and  finish  these  papers 
on  religious  experience,  by  narrating  what  the  soul 
suffers  in  passing  the  gate  of  death;  and  more  es- 
pecially, what  are  its  views  and  feelings,  the  moment 
after  death,  he  would  be  able  to  give  information 
which  at  present  no  mortal  can  communicate.     The 
thought  has  often  occurred,  when  thinking  on  this 
subject,  that  the  surprise  of  such  a  transition  as  that 
from  time  to  eternity,  from  the  state  of  imprisonment 
in  this  clay  tenement,  to  an  unknown  state  of  exist- 
ence, would  be   overwhelming   even  to  the   pious. 
But  these  are  short-sighted  reflections.     We  under- 
take to  judge  of  eternal  things,  by  rules  only  suited 
to  our  present  state  of  being,  and  our  present  feel- 
ings.    That   the   scene   will   be   new   and   sublime, 
beyond  all  conception,  cannot  be  doubted;  but  what 
our  susceptibilities  and  feelings  will  be,  when  sepa- 
rated from  the  body,  we  cannot  tell.     Is  it  not  possi- 
ble, that  our  entrance  on  the  unseen  world,  may  be 
preceded  by  a  course  of  gradual  preparation  for  the 
wonderful  objects  which  it  contains,  analogous  to  our 
progress  through  infancy  in  the  present  world?   That 
knowledge  of  future  things  will  be  acquired  gradu- 
ally, and  not  instantaneously,  we  are  led  to  believe 


226  THOtTGHTS    ON 

from  the  constitution  of  the  human  mind,  and  from 
all  the  analogies  of  nature.  The  soul  may  therefore 
have  to  go  to  school  again,  to  learn  the  first  elements 
of  celestial  knowledge;  and  who  will  be  the  instruc- 
ters,  or  how  long  this  training  may  continue,  it  would 
be  vain  to  conjecture.  Whether  in  this  gradual  pro- 
gress in  the  knowledge  of  heavenly  things,  our  remin- 
iscence of  the  transactions  in  which  we  were  engaged 
upon  earth,  will  be  from  the  first  vivid  and  perfect, 
or  whether  these  things  will  at  first  be  buried  in  a 
sort  of  oblivion,  and  be  brought  up  to  view  gradually 
and  successively,  who  can  tell  us?  But  I  must  with- 
draw my  imagination  from  a  subject,  to  which  her 
powers  are  entirely  inadequate.  Though  I  have  been 
fond  of  those  writings  of  Dick,  Taylor,  and  Watts, 
which  give  free  scope  to  reasonings  from  analogy,  in 
regard  to  the  future  condition  of  the  believer,  yet  I 
am  persuaded,  that  they  add  nothing  to  our  real 
knowledge.  Their  lucubrations  resemble  the  vain 
efforts  of  a  man  born  blind  to  describe  to  his  fellow 
sufferers,  the  brilliance  of  the  stars,  the  splendours  of 
the  sun,  or  the  milder  beauties  of  a  lovely  landscape. 
While  he  seems  to  himself  to  approach  nearest  to  the 
object,  he  in  fact  is  most  remote  from  any  just  con- 
ceptions of  it.  This  brings  to  recollection,  what  has 
often  appeared  highly  probable,  in  regard  to  the  de~ 
velopement  of  our  mental  powers;  that  as  in  infancy 
some  of  our  most  important  faculties,  as  for  example, 
reason,  conscience,  and  taste,  are  entirely  dormant, 
and  gradually  and  slowly  make  their  appearance 
afterwards;  so,  probably,  this  whole  life  is  a  state  of 
infancy  in  relation  to  that  which  is  to  come,  and  there 
may  exist  noiv,  in  these  incomprehensible  souls  of 
ours,  germs  of  faculties  never  in  the  least  developed 
in  this  world,  but  which  will  spring  into  activity  as 
soon  as  the  soul  feels  the  penetrating  beams  of  celes- 
tial light;  and  which  will  be  brought  to  maturity 
just  at  the  time  when  they  are  needed.  The  capacity 
of  the  beatific  vision  may  now  be  possessed  by  the 
soul,  deeply  enveloped  in  that  darkness  which  con- 
ceals the  internal  powers  of  the  mind  even  from  itself, 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  227 

except  so  far  as  they  are  manifested  by  their  actual 
exercise.  How  shallow  then,  is  all  our  mental  phi- 
losophy, by  which  we  attempt  to  explore  the  depths 
of  the  human  mind?  But  are  these  conjectural  specu- 
lations for  edification?  Do  they  bring  us  any  nearer 
to  God,  and  to  our  beloved  Redeemer?  I  cannot  say, 
that  they  do.  At  the  best,  they  are  no  more  than  an 
innocent  amusement;  and  in  indulging  them,  we  are 
in  great  danger  of  becoming  presumptuous,  and  even 
foolish,  by  supposing  that  we  possess  knowledge, 
when  in  fact  our  brightest  light  is  but  darkness. 
Vain  man  would  be  wise.  Let  us  then  cease  from 
man — let  us  cease  from  our  own  unsubstantial  dreams, 
and  lay  fast  hold  of  the  sure  word  of  prophecy  as  of 
a  light  shining  in  a  dark  place.  "To  the  law  and  to 
the  testimony,  if  they  speak  not  according  to  these, 
there  is  no  light  in  them,"  or  as  some  render  the  pas- 
sage, "light  shall  never  rise  to  them."  One  simple 
declaration  of  the  word  of  God  is  worth  more  to  a 
soul  descending  into  the  valley  and  shadow  of  death, 
than  all  the  ingenious  and  vivid  imaginings  of  the 
brightest  human  minds. 

Considering  the  absolute  and  undoubted  certainty 
of  our  departure  out  of  life,  it  seems  passing  strange 
that  we  should  be  so  unconcerned.  If  even  one  of  a 
million  escaped  death  this  might  afford  some  shadow 
of  a  reason  for  our  carelessness;  but  we  know  that 
"it  is  appointed  unto  men  once  to  die."  In  this  war- 
fare there  is  no  discharge,  and  yet  most  men  live  as 
if  they  were  immortal.  I  remember  the  foolish 
thought  which  entered  my  childish  mind  when  my 
mother  informed  me  that  we  all  must  die.  I  enter- 
tained the  hope  that  before  my  time  came  some  great 
change  would  lake  place,  I  knew  not  how,  by  which 
I  should  escape  this  dreaded  event.  I  have  nothing 
to  do  with  the  death  of  the  wicked  at  present.  The 
dying  experience  of  the  believer  is  our  proper  sub- 
ject, and  we  read  that  one  object  of  Christ's  coming 
into  the  world  was  "  to  deliver  such  as  were  all 
their  life  time  in  bondage  through  fear  of  death." 
Death,  in  itself  considered,  is  a  most  formidable  evil, 


228  THOUGHTS    ON 

and  can  be  desirable  to  none.  The  fear  of  death  is 
not  ahogether  the  consequence  of  sin  5  the  thing  is 
abhorrent  to  the  constitution  of  man.  Death  was 
held  up  in  terror  to  our  first  parents  when  innocent, 
to  prevent  their  transgression,  and  having  entered  the 
world  by  their  sin  in  whom  v/e  all  sinned,  this  event 
has  been,  ever  since,  a  terror  to  mortals — "  The  King 
OF  TERRORS."  Man  instinctively  cleaves  to  life,  so 
does  every  sentient  being.  There  are  only  two  things 
whicli  can  possibly  have  the  effect  of  reconciling  any 
man  to  death.  The  first  is,  the  hope  of  escaping 
from  misery  which  is  felt  to  be  intolerable:  the  other, 
an  assurance  of  a  better,  that  is  a  heavenly  country. 
The  captain  of  our  salvation  conquered  death,  and 
him  that  had  the  power  of  death,  that  is  the  Devil, 
by  dying  himself.  By  this  means,  he  plucked  from 
this  monster  his  deadly  sting,  by  satisfying  the  de- 
mands of  God's  holy  law.  "For  the  sting  of  death 
is  sin,  and  the  strength  of  sin  is  the  law."  All  those, 
therefore,  who  are  united  to  Christ,  meet  death  as  a 
conquered  and  disarmed  enemy.  Against  them  he  is 
powerless.  Still,  however,  he  wears  a  threatening 
aspect,  and  although  he  cannot  kill,  he  can  frown  and 
threaten,  and  this  often  frightens  the  timid  sheep. 
They  often  do  not  know  that  they  are  delivered  from 
his  tyranny,  and  that  now  he  can  do  nothing  but 
falsely  accuse  and  roar  like  a  hungry  lion  disappoint- 
ed of  his  prey.  There  are  still  some  who  all  their 
Hfe  time  are  subject  to  bondage  "  through  fear  of 
death."  Their  confidence  is  shaken  by  so  many  dis- 
tressing doubts,  that  though  sincerely  engaged  in  the 
service  of  God,  they  can  never  think  of  death  with- 
out sensible  dread  ;  and  often  they  are  afraid,  that 
when  the  last  conflict  shall  come,  they  will  be  so 
overwhelmed  with  terror  and  despair,  that  they  shall 
prove  a  dishonour  to  their  Christian  profession.  I 
recollect  a  sickly,  but  pious  lady,  who  with  a  profu- 
sion of  tears,  expressed  her  anxiety  and  fear  in  the 
view  of  her  approaching  end,  and  there  seemed  to  be 
ground  for  her  foreboding  apprehensions;  because, 
from  the  beginning  of  her  profession,  she  had  enjoyed 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


229 


no  comfortable  assurance,  but  was  of  the  number  of 
those  who,  though  they  "fear  God,  and  obey  the 
voice  of  his  servant,  yet  walk  in  darkness  and  have 
no  light"  of  comfort.  But  mark  the  goodness  of 
God,  and  the  fidehty  of  the  Great  Shepherd.  Some 
months  afterwards  I  saw  this  lady  on  her  death-bed, 
and  was  astonished  to  find  that  Christ  had  delivered 
her  entirely  from  her  bondage.  She  was  now  near 
to  her  end  and  knew  it,  but  she  shed  no  tears  now  but 
those  of  joy  and  gratitude.  All  her  darkness  and 
sorrow  were  gone,  and  her  heart  glowed  with  love 
to  the  Redeemer,  and  all  her  anxiety  now  was  to  de- 
part and  be  with  Jesus,  There  was,  as  it  were,  a 
beaming  of  heaven  in  her  countenance.  I  had  before 
tried  to  comfort  her,  but  now  I  sat  down  by  her  bed- 
side to  listen  to  the  gracious  words  which  proceeded 
from  her  mouth,  and  could  not  but  send  up  the  fer- 
vent aspiration,  "0  let  me  die  the  death  of  the  right- 
eous, and  let  my  last  end  be  like  hers,"  Then  I 
knew  that  there  was  one  who  had  conquered  death, 
and  him  who  has  the  power  of  death,  for  Satan,  to 
the  last  moment,  was  not  permitted  to  molest  her. 

No  arguments  have  ever  so  powerfully  operated, 
on  my  mind,  to  convince  me  of  the  reality  and  power 
of  experimental  religion,  as  witnessing  the  last  exer- 
cises of  some  of  God's  children.  Some  of  these 
scenes,  though  long  past,  have  left  an  indelible  im- 
pression on  my  memory;  and  I  hope  a  salutary  im- 
pression on  my  heart. 

Another  lady,  and  a  near  relative  of  the  former,  I 
had  often  observed  passing  along  her  way,  humble, 
gentle,  silent,  evidently  seeking  no  conspicuity,  but 
rather  to  remain  unnoticed  and  unknown.  She  had 
a  few  chosen  female  friends,  with  whom  she  freely 
communicated,  for  her  heart  was  affectionate,  and  her 
disposition  sociable — to  these  she  poured  out  her  in- 
most soul,  and  received  from  them  a  similar  return. 
She  was  crushed  under  a  habitual  feeling  of  domestic 
affliction;  but  not  of  that  kind  which  freely  utters  its 
complanits,  and  engages  the  sympathy  of  many;  but 
her  sorrows  were  such  as  her  delicacy  of  feeling,  did 


230 


THOUGHTS    ON 


not  permit  her  even  to  allude  to;  the  conduct  of  an 
imprudent  father,  weighed  heavily  on  her  spirits;  but 
towards  him — and  her  mother  being  dead,  she  kept 
his  house — she  was  assiduously  respectful;  and  while 
he  made  himself  the  laughing  stock  of  his  acquaint- 
ances, she  endeavored  to  make  his  home  comfortable; 
but  often,  I  thought,  that  her  lively  sensibility  to  the 
ridicule  and  reproaches  which  fell  upon  him,  would 
be  an  injury  to  her  delicate  constitution;  and  the  more 
so,  because  this  was  a  subject  on  which  she  would 
not  converse,  even  with  the  intimate,  confidential 
friends,  before  mentioned.  It  was  evident,  that  her 
health  was  slowly  giving  way,  and  that  the  disease 
which  carries  off  nearly  one  half  the  adults  in  this 
land,  was  secretly  consuming  her  vitals.  But  she 
never  complained,  and  seemed  rather  to  become  more 
cheerful,  as  her  eye  became  more  brilliant  and  her 
cheeks  more  pallid.  She  was  for  a  long  time  after 
this,  seen  occupying  her  humble  retired  place  in  the 
house  of  God,  and  still  went  her  accustomed  rounds 
among  her  poor  and  sick  neighbours,  and  doing  every 
thing  to  render  home  comfortable  to  her  restless,  un- 
happy parent.  At  length,  however,  her  strength 
failed,  and  she  was  obliged  to  confine  herself  to  the 
house,  and  before  long  to  her  bed.  Being  informed 
of  this,  as  being  her  pastor,  I  visited  her.  Hitherto 
her  extreme  modesty  and  retired  habits,  had  prevented 
me  from  having  much  personal  acquaintance  with 
this  excellent  woman.  I  was  accompanied  to  the 
house  by  one  of  her  intimate  friends,  who  still  lives, 
and  if  she  should  see  this  paper  will  readily  recognise 
the  portrait  of  her  beloved  friend.  The  house  was  a 
cottage,  and  all  its  furniture  of  home  manufacture; 
but  upon  the  whole  there  was  impressed  a  neatness 
and  order,  which  indicated  a  superior  taste  in  her  who 
had  long  had  the  sole  management.  I  did  not  know 
but  that  from  her  habitual  reserve  and  silence,  she 
would  be  embarrassed  in  her  feelings,  and  reserved  in 
her  communications;  but  I  was  happily  disappointed. 
She  received  me  with  an  affectionate  smile,  and  a 
cordial  shake  of  the  hand,  and  said   that  she    was 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


231 


pleased  that  I  had  thought  it  worth  my  while  to  come 
and  see  a  poor  dying  woman.  Not  many  minutes 
were  spent  in  compliments,  or  general  remarks;  she 
entered  freely  and  most  intelligently,  into  a  narrative 
of  her  religious  exercises,  which  had  commenced  at 
an  early  period  of  her  life,  but  expatiated  in  the 
sweetest  manner,  on  the  divine  excellencies  of  the 
Saviour;  not  as  one  that  was  speaking  what  she  had 
learned  from  others,  or  from  the  mere  exertion  of  her 
own  intellect;  but  as  one  that  felt  in  the  heart  every 
word  which  she  uttered.  There  was  a  gentleness,  a 
suavity,  and  a  meek  humility  expressed  in  every  tone 
of  her  voice,  and  the  same  depicted  on  every  linea- 
ment of  her  countenance.  Though,  when  in  health, 
she  was  never  reckoned  beautiful,  yet  there  was  now 
in  her  countenance,  animated  with  hope  and  love, 
and  religious  joy,  or  rather  peace,  a  beauty  of  coun- 
tenance which  I  never  saw  equalled.  It  was  what 
may  without  impropriety  be  called,  spiritual  beauty. 
I  found  what  I  had  not  known  before,  that  her  mind 
had  been  highly  cultivated  by  reading,  and  this  was 
manifest  in  the  propriety,  and  indeed  I  may  say,  ele- 
gance of  her  language.  Not  that  she  aimed  at  say- 
ing fine  things.  Such  an  idea  never  entered  her  hum- 
ble mind:  but  possessing,  naturally,  a  good  under- 
standing, which  she  had  carefully  improved  by  read- 
ing, especially  the  best  religious  authors,  and  being 
noV  animated  with  a  flow  of  pious  affection,  which 
seemed  never  to  ebb;  all  these  things  gave  her  lan- 
guage a  fluency,  a  glow,  and  a  vividness,  which  was 
truly  remarkable.  I  have  often  regretted  that  I  had 
not  put  down,  at  the  trnie,  her  most  striking  expres- 
sions, but  the  mere  words  could  convey  no  more  than 
the  shadow  of  such  a  scene.  It  has  often  been  re- 
marked, that  the  speeches  of  great  orators,  when 
written  and  read,  have  scarcely  a  resemblance  to  the 
same  speech,  delivered  with  all  the  pathos,  the  grace, 
and  the  varied  intonations  and  gestures  of  the  orator. 
The  same  may  more  truly  be  said  of  the  sayings  of 
the  dying  Christian;  we  may  catch  the  very  words, 
but  the  spirit,  the  secret  and  solemn  tones,  free  from 


232 


THOUGHTS     ON 


all  affectation,  the  heavenly  serenity  of  countenance, 
and  the  nameless  methods  of  manifesting  the  pious 
affections  of  the  heart,  never  can  be  preserved,  nor 
distinctly  conveyed,  by  words,  to  others.  The  mind 
of  this  young  lady  possessed  a  uniform  serenity,  un- 
disturbed with  fears,  doubts,  or  cares.  Every  thing 
seemed  right  to  her  submissive  temper.  It  was 
enough,  that  her  heavenly  Father  appointed  it  to  be 
so.  For  many  weeks  she  lay  in  this  state  of  perfect 
tranquillity,  as  it  were  on  the  suburbs  of  heaven;  and 
I  believe  no  one  ever  heard  a  complaint  from  her  lips. 
Even  that  grief  which  had  preyed  on  her  health, 
when  able  to  go  about,  had  now  ceased  to  cause  her 
pain.  Hers  was,  in  my  apprehension,  the  nearest  ap- 
proximation to  complete  happiness  which  I  ever  saw 
upon  earth;  yet  there  was  no  violence  of  feeling,  no 
agitation,  no  rapture.  It  was  that  kind  of  happiness 
which,  from  its  gentleness  and  calmness,  is  capable  of 
continuance.  As  it  was  her  request  that  I  should  visit 
her  often,  I  did  so  as  frequently  as  the  distance  of  my 
residence,  and  other  avocations,  would  permit.  Not, 
as  I  often  said,  with  any  expectation  of  communica- 
ting any  good  to  her,  but  of  receiving  spiritual  bene- 
fit from  her  heavenly  conversation.  0!  how  often 
did  I  wish  that  the  boldest  infidels — and  they  were 
rampant  at  that  time — could  have  been  introduced 
into  the  chamber  of  this  dying  saint.  I  often,  espe- 
cially after  witnessing  this  scene,  endeavoured  to  de- 
scribe to  such  as  attended  preaching,  the  power  of 
religion  to  sustain  the  soul  in  the  last  earthly  conflict; 
but  they  were  incredulous  as  to  the  facts,  or  ascribed 
them  to  some  strange  enthusiasm  which  buoyed  up 
the  soul  in  a  preternatural  manner.  But  here  there 
was  no  enthusiasm — nothing  approaching  to  what 
may  be  called  a  heated  imagination.  All  was  sober 
— all  was  serene — all  was  gentle — all  was  rational; 
and,  although  five  and  forty  years  have  passed  since 
this  scene  was  witnessed,  the  impression  on  my  mind, 
is  distinct  and  vivid.  The  indescribable  countenance, 
calm  but  animated,  pale  with  disease,  but  lighted  up 
with  an  unearthly  smile.     The  sweet  and  affection- 


RELIGIOUS  EXPERIENCE. 


233 


ate  tones  of  voice — the  patient,  submissive,  cheerful, 
grateful  temper,  are  all  remembered  with  a  vividness 
and  permanence  with  which  I  remember  nothing  now. 
When  I  think  of  such  scenes,  I  have  often  thought 
and  said, "if  this  be  delusion,  then  let  my  soul  for 
ever  remain  under  such  delusion." 

If  the   foregoing   was  a  sample  of  the  death-bed 
exercises  of  all  Christians,  then  would  I  say,  that  his 
last  days  are  his  best  days,  and  the  day  of  death  hap- 
pier than  the  day  of  birth.  This,  however,  is  far  from 
iDeing  a  true  view  of  the  general  fact.     It  is  a  select 
case — one  of  a  thousand — upon  the  whole,  the  hap- 
piest death  I  ever  witnessed.     I  have,  indeed,  seen 
dying  persons  agitated  with  a  kind  of  delirious  rap- 
ture; in  which  the  imagination  has  been  so  excited, 
that  the  person  looked  and  spoke,  as  if  the  objects  of 
another  world  were  actually  present  to  the  view.     In 
such  case,  the  nervous  system  loses  its  tone,  and  when 
the  general  feelings  are  pious,  and  the  thoughts  di- 
rected heavenward,  the  whole  system  is  thrilled  with 
an  indescribable  emotion.     And  we  have  a  number 
of  recorded  death-scenes,  which  partake  of  this  char- 
acter; and  are  greatly  admired  and  extolled  by  the 
injudicious  and  fanatical.     Scenes  of  this  kind,  are 
frequently   the  effect  of  disease,  and  sometimes   of 
medicine  operating  on  the  idiosyncrasy  of  particular 
persons.     Such  persons  may  be  pious,  but  the  extra- 
ordinary exhilaration  and  exstacy,  of  which  they  are 
the  subjects,  ought  not  to  be  ascribed  to  supernatural 
influence,  but  to  physical  causes.     Between  such  ex- 
periences, and  the  case  described  above,  there  is  no 
more  resemblance,  than  between  a  blazing  meteor, 
which  soon  burns  itself  out,  and  the  steady,  genial 
beams  of  the  vernal  sun.    I  once  witnessed  an  extra- 
ordinary scene  of  this  kind  in  a  skeptic,  who  neglected 
religion,  and  scoffed  at  its  professors,  till  very  near  the 
close  of  life;  and   then  seemed  to    be  agitated  and 
exhilarated  with  religious  ideas  and  feelings,  leading 
him  to  profess   his  faith  in  Christ,  and  to  rejoice,  and 
exult  in  the  assurance  of  salvation,  and  all  this  with- 
out any  previous  conviction  of  sin,  or  mingled  at  the 


234  THOUGHTS    ON 

time  with  deep  penitential  feelings.  Well,  wliy  might 
it  not  have  been  an  instance  of  sovereign  grace,  like 
that  of  the  thief  on  the  cross  ?  It  is  possible.  As  in 
life,  that  piety  which  is  founded  on  knowledge,  and 
in  which  the  faculties  of  the  mind  continue  to  be  well 
balanced,  and  the  judgment  sound,  is  by  far  the  least 
suspicious;  so  those  death-bed  exercises,  which  are 
of  a  similar  character,  are  much  to  be  preferred  to 
those  which  are  flighty;  and  in  which  reason  seems 
to  regulate  the  helm  no  longer;  but  an  excited,  and 
irregular  imagination  assumes  the  government  of  the 
man.  According  to  this  rule,  some  glowing  narra- 
tives of  death-scenes  will  be  set  aside  as,  if  not  spu- 
rious, yet  not  deserving  to  be  admired  and  celebrated 
as  they  often  are. 


*     CHAPTER  XVII. 

Death-bed  Exercises  of  Andrew  Rivet. 

I  PROPOSE  now  to  give  a  summary  view  of  the  re- 
corded experiences  of  several  eminent  persons  on 
their  death  bed;  and  as  comparisons  among  the  living 
are  odious,  so  also  among  the  dead,  I  will  endeavour 
to  act  the  part  of  an  impartial  and  faithful  narrator, 
but  having  given  my  analysis  I  will  leave  my  readers 
to  judge  respecting  the  genuineness  and  the  devotion 
of  the  persons  whose  exercises  shall  be  introduced. 
Our  accounts  of  the  death-scenes  of  the  apostles  are 
too  brief  to  enable  us  to  say  much  about  them;  but 
judging  from  their  epistles,  we  may  conclude,  that 
they  met  death,  not  only  with  firmness,  but  with  joy. 
Not  one  of  them  ever  expresses  the  least  fear  of 
death;  but  on  the  contrary,  Paul  speaks  with  exulta- 
tion of  the  prospect  before  him,  for  he  exclaims,  "  For 
I  am  now  ready  to  be  offered  up  and  the  time  of  my 
departure  is  at  hand,"  "  I  have  fought  a  good  fight, 
I  have  finished  my  course,  I   have  kept   the  faith; 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


235 


henceforth  there  is  laid  up  for  me  a  crown  of  right- 
eousness, which  God,  the  righteous  Judge,  will  give 
me  at  that  day,  and  not  to  me  only  but  to  all  who 
love  his  appearing;"  and  Peter  who  knew  that  he 
was  to  go  out  of  the  world  by  a  violent  death;  as 
Christ  had  showed  him;  yet  he  seems  to  be  no  how 
troubled  about  it,  but  when  old,  speaks  of  it  with  the 
utmost  composure.  "  Yea,  I  think  it  meet,"  says  he, 
"as  long  as  I  am  in  this  tabernacle  to  stir  you  up  by 
putting  you  in  remembrance.  Knowing  that  shortly 
I  must  put  off  this  my  tabernacle,  even  as  our  Lord 
Jesus  Christ  hath  showed  me."  IS'^o  doubt,  John,  the 
beloved  disciple,  sweetly  fell  asleep,  with  love  upon 
his  lips  and  in  his  heart.  His  whole  soul  seems  to  have 
been  dissolved  into  love,  and  to  such  a  man  death 
could  have  no  terrors.  His  brother  James,  who  was 
slain  by  the  sword  of  Herod,  is  the  only  one  of  the 
apostles  of  whose  death  we  have  an  account  in  the 
sacred  word;  except  the  awful  account  of  the  suicide 
of  the  traitor.  Of  the  circumstances  of  the  death  of 
James,  who  seems  to  have  been  one  of  the  most  dis- 
tinguished, and  always  when  a  selection  was  made 
to  witness  any  particular  scene,  he  was  one  of  them; 
the  historian,  with  characteristic  brevity,  says,  "  Now 
about  that  time,  Herod  the  king,  stretched  forth 
his  hands  to  vex  certain  of  the  church.      And  he 

KILLED     JAMES,    THE     BROTHER     OF     JOHN    WITH    THE 

SWORD."  From  this  we  may  learn,  that  in  order  to 
go  safely  to  heaven,  it  is  not  necessary,  that  we 
should  have  a  laudatory  obituary  on  earth.  I  have 
often  been  shocked  with  the  thought,  that  while  a 
man's  eulogy  is  pronounced  upon  earth,  the  poor 
soul  may  be  writhing  and  blaspheming  in  the  tor- 
ments of  hell!  Among  the  primitive  members  of  the 
Church,  Stephen  was  the  first  martyr,  and  his  death 
was — I  will  not  say  heroic — for  heroes  know  nothing 
of  Christ  or  heaven — but  I  will  say  it  was  Christian, 
which  is  a  much  better  style  of  dying,  than  any  of  the 
heathen  gods  or  goddesses  knew  any  thing  about. 
He  was  well  prepared,  for  he  had  just  before  been 
favoured  with  a  direct  view  into  heaven,  and  saw 


236 


THOUGHTS     ON 


Christ  on  the  right  hand  of  God.  No  wounds  on  the 
body  would  be  felt  by  one  absorbed  in  such  a  hea- 
venly vision.  0  how  little  can  they  harm  us  who 
can  do  no  more  than  kill  the  body!  They  rushed  upon 
the  man  and  hurried  him  to  the  place  of  execution 
and  stoned  him,  "calling  on  the  name  of  God,  and 
saying,  Lord  Jesus  receive  my  spirit.  And  he  kneeled 
down  and  cried  with  a  loud  voice.  Lord  lay  not  this 
sin  to  their  charge.  And  when  he  had  said  this,  he 
fell  asleep."  There  was  nothing  wanting  here  to 
render  this  a  glorious  death.  And  as  he  is  called  the 
protomartyr,  so  his  death  was  a  prototype  of  the 
deaths  of  succeeding  martyrs.  The  accounts  given  of 
the  joys  and  triumphs  of  some  of  them,  approximate 
to  miracle;  but  we  know  not  how  insensible  to  bodily 
pain,  the  soul  may  be  rendered,  which  is  overflowing 
with  tlie  love  of  Christ.  This  is  the  true  secret  of 
their  ambition  to  be  crucified  or  burnt,  or  cast  to  the 
wild  beasts.  But  as  these  martyrs  seem  to  have  been 
another  race  of  men  from  us,  and  lived  in  times  very 
different  from  ours,  let  us  come  down  and  contem- 
plate the  dying  Christian  in  circumstances  similar  to 
our  own;  and  see  what  grace  can  do,  in  these  latter 
days.  And  I  propose  to  select  the  experiences  of  men 
of  different  countries.  The  accounts  which  I  shall 
bring  forward  are  not  new:  to  some  of  my  readers  they 
may  all  be  familiar;  but  as  the  men  were  eminent  in 
the  church,  and  distinguished  for  talents,  their  biogra- 
phies being  commonly  known,  will  answer  the  end 
in  view,  better  than  the  death-bed  exercises  of  un- 
known persons,  of  whose  lives  we  could  have  no 
satisfactory  information. 

The  first  person  of  whose  dying  exercises  I  propose 
to  give  a  condensed  narrative  is  Andrew  Rivet,  a 
Frenchman  by  birth  and  education;  but  who  spent 
the  greater  part  of  his  life  in  Holland;  where  at  Ley- 
den,  he  was  professor  of  theology.  The  learned  need 
not  be  informed,  that  in  that  age  when  theology  was 
more  thoroughly  studied,  than  in  any  other  since  the 
apostles'  days,  Andrew  Rivet  had  no  superior,  wheth- 
er you  contemplate  him  as  an  exegetical  or  polemi- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE,  237 

cal  theologian.  His  acquaintance  with  the  Christian 
fathers  was  most  exact  and  extensive;  and  he  knew 
how  to  estimate  their  labours,  and  what  deference 
was  due  to  their  authority,  of  which  he  gave  full  evi- 
dence, in  the  work  entitled  Critici  Sacri,  which  is 
now  the  best  guide  on  this  subject,  which  the  young 
tlieologian  can  follow.  Rivet's  theology  was  as  sound 
as  it  was  extensive.  His  great  learning  did  not  turn 
his  head  or  lead  him  into  heresy;  but  it  will  be  seen 
by  the  following  narrative,  abridged  from  Middleton, 
how  little  value  he  set  on  all  his  learning  compared 
with  the  teaching  of  the  divine  Spirit. 

Having  preached  a  sermon  on  Christmas  day,  he 
was,  immediately  afterwards,  taken  ill,  with  a  con- 
stipation of  the  bowels.  Of  a  beloved  niece,  who 
attended  on  him,  he  asked  what  she  thought  of  his 
disease,  which  he  thought  would  prove  mortal, — she 
answered,  that  she  was  of  tlie  same  opinion,  but  that 
he  had  nothing  to  fear,  having  been  long  prepared  to 
follow  God,  when  he  should  call — and  that  his  life 
had  already  been  long,  and  nothing  left  to  be  desired, 
but  that  it  should  be  crowned  with  a  happy  and  glo- 
rious end!  «  Thou  speakest  right,"  said  he,  "and  I 
pray  thee  always  address  thyself  to  me  with  like 
speeches,  and  while  my  sickness  continues,  depart 
not  from  me,  day  nor  night.  Promise  me  now  that 
thou  wilt  keep  a  cheerful  countenance,  and  that  thou 
wilt  speak  nothing  to  me  but  what  may  administer 
joy  and  support  to  me.  Although  I  fear  not  death, 
yet  I  fear  the  trial  of  those  pains  which  I  have  always 
had  a  very  sharp  feeling  of."  Then,  suddenly  turn- 
ing his  speech  unto  God,  he  said,  "great  God,  thou 
art  my  Father,  thou  hast  given  me  both  life  and  a 
new  life;  thou  hast  taught  me  from  my  youth,  and 
I  have  declared  thy  wonderful  works,  forsake  me 
not  now  in  my  old  age.  Hitherto,  through  thy  pecu- 
liar favour,  thou  hast  preserved  me  sound  in  my  body 
and  my  faculties,  and  the  functions  of  my  mind  have 
not  been  impaired,  so  that  a  little  before  I  was  op- 
pressed by  this  disease,  I  found  myself  as  apt  and 
ready  for  the  exercise  of  my  vocation,  as  in  my  flour- 

16 


238  THOUGHTS    ON 

ishing  youth,  0,  Lord  God  !  if  it  be  thy  will  that  I 
should  longer  attend  upon  thy  service,  thou  canst 
assuage  my  disease  in  one  moment;  but  if  thou  hast 
decreed  otherwise,  thy  will  he  done.  This  one  thing 
I  beg  with  most  inward  affections,  that  thou  wilt  make 
me  conformable  to  thy  good  will — let  not  thy  good 
Spirit  depart  from  me,  that  in  this  conflict  thy  strength 
may  make  me  a  conqueror;  accomplish  this,  0  Lord, 
for  thine  own  sake,  and  since  thou  hast  employed  me 
in  thy  work,  grant  that  I  may  die  an  honourable 
death!  and  such  as  may  be  an  example  unto  others: 
that  I  may  stand  fast  in  that  sound  doctrine  which  I 
have  taught,  and  may  make  a  good  confession  thereof 
before  v/itnesses — that  thereby  thy  church  may  be 
both  instructed  and  edified;  let  me  applj'-  to  myself 
by  a  lively  faith,  all  the  promises  of  the  gospel,  and 
let  them  put  forth  their  efficacy  in  me,  unto  my  joy 
and  eternal  consolation,  that  nothing  in  the  world, 
neither  affliction  nor  distress,  may  separate  me  from 
thee,  or  cause  me  to  doubt  of  thy  love  and  favour. 
Thou  knowest  my  weakness  and  infirmities,  permit 
not  the  grievousness  of  my  pain  to  cast  me  into  impa- 
tience or  murmuring;  either  make  my  pains  tolerable, 
or  furnish  me  with  fortitude  and  constancy  sufficient 
to  bear  them  that  I  may  not  offend  with  vciy  tongue — 
keep  thou  the  door  of  my  lips!"  The  pains  of  his 
disease  were  very  great,  but  he  continued  to  call  upon 
God  for  help  and  for  support.  His  expressions  of  his 
own  sinfulness  and  weakness  were  of  the  most  abas- 
ing kind,  confessing  himself  to  be  a  miserable  sinner, 
and  casting  away  all  confidence  in  any  good  thing 
which  he  had  done  in  his  life, — he  accused  his  own 
defects,  and  ascribed  unto  God  all  the  good  which  he 
had  ever  done,  often  rep(?ating  such  expressions  as 
these:  "It  is  God  that  hath  wrought  the  work  for 
me;  shall  I  allege  or  plead  my  own  righteousness 
before  Him?  Far  be  that  from  me.  If  I  should  jus- 
tify myself,  my  own  mouth  would  condemn  me.  I 
will  rather  open  my  sin  before  Him  in  a  most  hum- 
ble confession  of  it,  and  pray  that  He  will  increase  in 
me  the  grace  of  true  repentance;  yea,  let  Him  wear 


nELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  239 

out  this  body  with  sorrow,  it  matters  not,  so  He  give 
to  me  a  broken  and  a  contrite  spirit,  which  is  a  sacri- 
fice acceptable  imto  himseh'.  As  for  my  part,  I  do 
most  wiUingly  offer  up  myself.  Accept,  0  Lord,  this 
imperfect  sacrifice,  and  supply  the  defects  thereof  by 
the  perfect  righteousness  of  that  Great  High  Priest, 
who,  through  the  eternal  Spirit,  offered  himself  unto 
God  without  spot.  Let  me  be  accepted  as  a  living 
sacrifice,  holy,  and  well  pleasing  unto  God,  which  is 
our  reasonable  service.  Crucify,  0  Lord,  this  old  man, 
that  the  body  of  sin  may  be  utterly  destroyed,  and 
that  I  may  rise  to  newness  of  life.  The  ivages  of  sin 
is  death,  but  the  gift  of  God  is  eternal  life,  through 
Jesus  Christ,  our  Lord."  He  repeated  the  word 
GIFT  and  added,  "  it  is  mere  grace,  not  of  works,  but 
of  him  that  calleth."  ^'■Who  shall  lay  anything  to 
the  charge  of  God'' s  elect?  It  is  God  that  justifieth. 
Who  is  he  that  condernneth?  It  is  Christ  that 
died;  yea,  rather  that  is  risen  again,  who  is  even  at 
the  right  hand  of  God,  who  also  maketh  intercession 
for  us." 

After  a  short  sleep,  he  proceeded,  in  the  following 
strain:  "I  am  God's,  and  He  will  save  me.  He  hath 
honoured  me  with  a  holy  calling,  and  hath  not  suf- 
fered his  gift  to  be  altogether  useless  in  me,  as  to  the 
edification  of  his  church.  As  to  myself,  I  can  most 
truly  atfirm,  that  I  have  not  served  Him  for  filthy 
lucre,  but  with  a  sincere  heart;  and  that  I  myself  was 
first  persuaded  of  the  truth  of  the  gospel,  before  I 
preached  it  to  others.  I  tasted  the  good  word  of  God, 
which,  by  its  power,  pierceth  to  the  dividing  asunder 
of  soul  and  spirit,  and  is  a  discerner  of  the  thoughts 
and  intents  of  the  heart.  Thou  hast  known  my  heart, 
0  eternal  God!  Thou  knowest  that  I  am  not  ashamed 
of  the  gospel  of  Christ,  but  have  esteemed  it  my  only 
honour  to  serve  thee;  and  that  I  have  delighted  my- 
self in  the  pleasure  of  obeying  thy  will.  Such  was 
thy  goodness  to  me.  I  truly  and  humbly  acknow- 
ledged that  whatsoever  good  thing  was  in  me,  flowed 
from  thy  grace;  but  my  defects  ought  to  be  ascribed 
to  my  inbred  corruption.     Alas!  I  acknowledge  this 


240  THOUGHTS    ON 

with  humble  and  serious  repentance.  How  often 
have  I  sinned  in  so  holy  a  charge,  not  only  by  omit- 
ting many  things  which  I  ought  to  have  done,  but 
also  by  doing  many  things  amiss.  Long  since  had 
I  been  cast  off,  were  it  not  that  I  had  to  do  with  so 
good  a  Lord,  who  hath  borne  with  me,  and  hath 
been  so  gracious  to  me,  as  not  to  exact  a  severe  ac- 
count of  my  words  and  works.  Alas!  0  Lord  my 
God!  en^er  not  into  judgment  with  thy  servant;  for 
in  thy  sight  shall  no  man  living  be  justified.  Let  me 
be  found,  not  having  my  own  righteousness,  but  the 
righteousness  of  thy  Son;  for  the  sake  of  whom  I 
beg  thy  favour.  Pardon,  0  my  God!  pardon  the  ini- 
quity of  thy  servant,  who  is  devoted  to  thy  fear.  I 
refuse  not  thy  discipline — I  know  it  is  necessary. 
Only  this  I  earnestly  beg,  that  it  may  turn  to  my  sal- 
vation. '  Chasten  me,  0  Lord,  but  in  measure,  lest 
thou  bring  me  to  nothing.'  Let  not  my  trial  exceed 
my  strength,  lest  I  sin  through  impatience,  and  be- 
come a  scandal  to  those  I  should  edify."  With 
many  similar  expressions,  for  which  we  have  not 
room. 

To  Renessius,  a  doctor  ofdivinity,  who  came  to  see 
him,  he  said,  '•'  I  pray  you  testify  unto  all  men,  that  I 
die  in  the  faith  and  the  doctrine  which  I  have  always 
delivered,  both  in  preaching  and  writing;  and  if  in 
some  things  I  have  erred,  I  pray  God,  that  He  will 
make  perfect  all  my  imperfections." 

He  received  the  visits  of  all  who  expressed  a  desire 
to  see  him,  and  would  have  none  hindered  from 
coming  to  him.  "Let  all  that  will,"  said  he,  "have 
access  to  visit  me.  I  ought  to  give  an  example  of 
dying  to  other  men."  And  to  those  who  stood  around 
his  bed,  he  said,  "  Come  see  a  man,  who  is  an  exam- 
ple of  the  great  mercy  of  God.  What  shall  I  render 
unto  him?  All  his  benefits  overwhelm  me.  He  hath 
so  disposed  my  life,  that  in  my  whole  course,  I  have 
had  a  healthy  body.  He  hath  heaped  upon  me  both 
temporal  and  spiritual  blessings;  and  now,  before  I 
am  rendered  feeble  or  morose,  through  old  age,  he 
comes  unto  me  and  prevents  me.    He  has  both  called 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


241 


me,  and  made  me  willing  to  follow  at  his  call.  And 
now,  when  the  end  of  my  life  is  within  my  view,  he 
still  affords  me  the  perfect  use  of  reason,  that  I  may 
praise  my  God  in  the  land  of  the  living,  and  instruct 
my  neighbours  by  my  example.  Pray  for  me,  my 
friends,  that  this  grace  may  be  contined  unto  me,  un- 
til I  draw  my  last  breath;  that  He  will  strengthen  my 
faith,  confirm  my  patience,  and  raise  my  hope.  He 
hath  already  captivated  all  my  affections  to  his  will. 
I  have  cast  the  care  of  me,  of  mine,  of  life,  and  all  my 
affairs,  upon  him.  Let  him  do  with  my  body  as  it 
pleaseth  him,  so  it  may  but  be  well  with  my  soul. 
*  *  *  And  now  there  is  nothing  I  am  concerned 
about,  neither  is  my  life  dear  unto  me,  so  that  I  may 
finish  my  course  with  joy,  and  fulfil  the  ministry  which 
I  liave  received  of  the  Lord;  which  is  best  done  at 
the  last." 

He  would  not  permit  any  clergyman  who  came  to 
see  him,  go  away  without  praying  with  him.  It 
grieved  him  much  that  his  wife,  who  was  of  feeble 
health,  should  be  subjected  to  so  much  fatigue  and 
watchfulness  in  attending  on  him.  But  as  she  was 
unwilling  to  leave  him,  he  said,  "  Since  thou  wilt 
have  it  so,  tarry;  it  is  a  pleasure  to  me  to  see  thee. 
The  Lord  strengthen  thee !"  Friday  nighi  was  spent 
in  grievous  pains,  and  in  most  ardent  prayers  for  the 
church  of  God,  for  the  princes,  who  were  defenders  of 
it,  for  the  people  that  lived  under  their  jurisdiction, 
and  for  the  pastors,  to  whom  the  care  of  souls  was 
committed.  He  seemed  to  be  greatly  interested  in  be- 
half of  the  United  Provinces  of  Holland.  "0  God," 
said  he,  "  withdraw  not  thy  protection  from  these 
Provinces;  neither  remove  thy  candlestick  away. 
Let  not  thine  anger  burn  against  them,  because  of 
that  impiety  and  profaneness  which  hath  made  too 
great  a  progress.  Rather  bow  their  hearts  unto  re- 
pentance, and  convert  them,  that  thy  judgments  may 
be  prevented.  Let  them  coalesce  in  one  body;  espe- 
cially, let  them  be  joined  unto  thee,  without  whom 
all  union  is  but  conspiracy.  Preside  in  their  Assem- 
bly; and  bend  their  hearts,  so  that  all  their  decrees 


242 


THOUGHTS    ON 


may  lean   to  the  good  of  the  Commonwealth,  and 
especially  of  the  church,"  &c. 

His  sufferings  were  exceedingly  great,  but  he  bore 
them  with  wonderful  patience,  and  whenever  there 
was  the  least  interval  of  ease,  he  was  engaged  in 
prayer  or  exhortation.  On  the  last  day  of  Decem- 
ber, which  closed  the  current  year,  Mr.  Rivet,  after 
having  endured  indescribable  agonies  from  the  dis- 
ease, and  from  the  remedies  made  use  of,  offered 
up  the  following  fervent  prayer  for  the  church: — "  0 
Lord,  it  is  thy  possession,  which  thou  hast  purchased 
with  thy  own  blood.  Forsake  not  thy  own  work — 
let  a  holy  jealousy  be  kindled  in  thee.  Lift  up  on 
high  the  arms  of  thy  power,  and  bring  down  the 
audacious  ones,  Avhich  tyrannize  over  thy  flock.  Re- 
buke thou  the  negligent  that  heal  her  wounds  slight- 
ly. Reduce  in  the  right  way  those  that  wander, 
and  strengthen  those  ready  to  fall  through  division. 
Gather  both  the  one  and  the  other  to  thyself,  into  one 
body,  building  them  up  upon  the  foundations  of  the 
apostles  and  prophets,  Jesus  Christ  himself  being  the 
chief  corner  stone,  in  whom  all  the  building  fitly 
framed  together,  groweth  into  a  holy  temple  in  the 
Lord."  And  then  making  a  little  pause,  he  said,  "  I 
have  been  one  of  those  builders;  I  have  brought  what 
I  received  from  the  Lord,  that  I  might  put  to  my 
helping  hand,  with  others,  towards  the  building  of 
the  temple;  and  I  myself  shall  be  a  living  stone  in 
the  house." 

On  the  first  day  of  the  year  1651,  and  the  Lord's 
day,  upon  opening  his  eyes,  he  said,  "0  Lord,  thou 
hast  granted  me  to  see  the  beginning  of  the  year. 
Thou  hast  measured  out  my  time  until  the  middle  of 
this  age."  Having  sent  to  the  Hague  for  his  son,  he 
inquired  respecting  the  weather,  and  being  informed 
that  the  cold  was  sharp  and  severe,  he  prayed  thus, 
"  O  my  God,  bring  my  son  unto  me,  that  I  may  see 
him,  embrace  him,  and  bless  him,  before  I  die." 
Then  turning  to  his  wife,  he  said,  "  dost  thou  think 
that  this  earnest  desire  to  see  my  son  proceeds  from 
mere  natural  affection?     Nothing  less.     Truly  I  love 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


243 


no  man  any  more  according  to  the  flesh.  I  earnestly 
desire  his  eternal  salvation,  and  I  hope  to  have  such 
discourses  with  jiim,  which  may  increase  his  zeal  in 
adorning  his  spiritual  vocation."  (His  son  was  a 
minister.)  "I  have  yet  spirit  and  utterance  sufficient 
for  this  work.  Let  none  be  hindered  from  coming  to 
me.  It  is  usual  for  a  man  in  my  station,  by  admon- 
ishing others,  publicly  to  make  profession  of  his  own 
faith.  Not  for  the  sake  of  a  little  vain-glory,  0  Lord, 
thou  knowest ;  for  it  little  concerns  me  to  be  approved 
nnto  men,  provided,  I  may  approve  myself  unto  God. 
But  I  desire  the  salvation  of  many,  and  to  give  testi- 
mony to  the  truth  of  those  things  which  I  have  pub- 
licly taught." 

Some  officers  of  the  garrison  having  come  to  see 
him,  two  or  three  of  whom  were  from  France,  he 
addressed  them  in  the  following  manner,  "  I  rejoice 
that  I  have  an  opportunity  to  make  a  confession  of 
my  faith  before  you  that  are  my  countrymen;  and  I 
pray  you  to  keep  it  in  memory,  and  give  testimony  of 
it,  where  it  shall  be  necessary.  You  see  before  you, 
a  man,  weak  indeed,  but  without  guile,  who  solemn- 
ly protesteth,  that  he  hath  never  published  in  his  wri- 
tings, nor  taught  with  his  lips,  any  thing  that  did  not 
agree  with  the  sense  of  his  heart,  and  the  doctrine 
which  hath  been  delivered  to  us  by  the  prophets  and 
apostles,  which  is  the  same  with  that  laid  down  in 
the  Confession  of  Faith  of  our  churches,  in  which  I 
have  lived,  and  in  which  I  purpose  to  die.  The  Lord 
God  Almighty  confirm  you  in  that  faith,  so  that  no- 
thing may  move  you  from  it.  '  For  what  will  it  pro- 
fit a  man  if  he  gain  the  whole  world  and  lose  his 
own  soul.-*'  Seek  ye  first  the  kingdom  of  God,  and 
the  righteousness  thereof,  and  then  all  other  things 
shall  be  added  unto  you.  Learn  to  number  your 
days,  and  get  a  wise  heart.  Look  upon  me,  and  let 
me  be  as  an  example  unto  you.'  It  is  but  eight  days 
since  I  preached  to  you  of  man's  frailty,  being  myself 
in  health  and  lively  at  that  time,  and  now  you  see 
the  truth  of  what  I  said,  in  myself."  And  then  taking 
leave  of  them  he  said,  "  The  Lord  deliver  you  from 


244  THOUGHTS    ON 

the  allurements  of  the  world,  and  give  you  an  in- 
crease of  his  fear  and  of  all  spiritual  gifts." 

When  his  visiters  were  all  gone,  and  his  own  fami- 
ly stood  around  his  bed,  he  said  to  his  niece,  "  My 
daughter  do  not  depart  from  me,  but  persist  with  me 
in  the  duty  of  prayer.  Do  not  fear  to  rehearse  all 
those  words  to  me,  which  God  shall  suggest  unto  thy 
heart  or  mouth.  This  sweet  and  pleasing  communi- 
cation shall  help  to  pass  over  the  night  with  the 
more  ease.  And  God  will  be  with  us  and  assist  our 
good  intentions.  He  will  help  our  weaknesses  and 
afford  us  matter  of  supplications,  and  thanksgivings. 
Such  discourses  are  pleasing  unto  him.  He  attends 
unto  them  that  fear  him,  when  they  talk  together  of 
those  things  that  belong  to  the  salvation  of  their 
souls."  And  then,  as  one  in  a  rapture,  he  exclaim- 
ed, "  My  God,  thou  hast  drawn  me  and  I  was  drawn. 
Thou  hast  known  me  from  my  mother's  womb  with 
a  merciful  and  efficacious  knowledge.  Thou  hast 
called  me  by  name.  Thou  hast  bored  mine  ears,  and 
I  was  attentive.  1  have  declared  thy  message  in  the 
congregation,  and  thy  word  was  sweeter  than  honey 
in  my  mouth.  Who  am  I,  0  God,  but  dust  and  ashes, 
an  earthen  and  a  frail  vessel,  into  which,  notwithstand- 
ing, thou  hast  been  pleased  to  pour  a  holy  liquor,  and 
seed  of  immortality.  Thou  livest,  and  thou  makest 
me  to  live.  I  shall  not  die,  but  live  for  ever,  with 
that  '  life  which  is  hid  with  Christ  in  God,'  Blessed 
and  holy  is  he  who  hath  a  part  in  the  first  resurrec- 
tion: over  him  the  second  death  shall  have  no  power. 
'Behold  I  am  dead,  and  also  raised  from  the  dead.  I 
live,  but  not  in  myself,  but  in  the  life  of  the  Son  of 
God,  who  loved  me,  and  gave  himself  for  me.'  Thou 
hast  chosen  me  before  thou  gavest  me  a  being.  And 
it  pleased  thee  that  I  should  be  born  of  believing 
parents,  and  especially  of  a  mother  eminent  in  holi- 
ness, who  dedicated  me  to  thy  service  from  my  ten- 
der years.  With  what  care  and  affection  did  she 
instil  the  seeds  of  piety  into  me.  And  the  Almighty 
God,  who  worketh  in  all,  gave  his  blessing  to  this 
diligent  nurture,  and  heard  his  ardent  prayers;   and 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


245 


my  ministry  hath  been  accepted  of  him.  I  am  thy 
servant,  0  my  God,  thou  hast  taught  me  from  my 
youth;  and  I  have  taught  thy  wonderful  works,  and 
thy  grace  unto  this  day;  for  thy  gifts  have  not  been 
without  fruit  in  me.  Thou  usest  weak  instruments 
for  the  accompUshing  of  thy  work.  Thou  hast  par- 
doned, thou  hast  helped  me,  thou  hast  accepted  the 
truth  and  sincerity  of  my  heart.  And  now,  0  my 
God,  seeing  it  is  evident  that  thou  wilt  have  me  re- 
tire from  this  valley  of  miseries,  do  not  thou  forsake 
me  in  this  last  and  important  act.  If  it  be  thy  will, 
that  I  die,  that  also  is  my  will.  I  am  ready — my 
heart  is  prepared.  I  give  thee  my  heart,  for  that  is 
it  which  thou  requirest.  Let  this  gift  be  approved  by 
thee.  Receive  this  gift  which  is  thy  own,  from  him 
to  whom  thou  hast  given  all  things — who  gives  him- 
self to  thee.  0  Lord,  I  give  thee  thanks;  thou  in- 
structest  me,  thou  enlightenest  me,  thou  talkest  with 
my  soul,  0  Lord.  Thou  embracest  me  in  the  arms  of 
thy  mercy.  Grant  also  that  I  may  embrace  thee,  by 
a  lively  faith,  and  that  I  may  apply  unto  myself  the 
promises  of  the  gospel,  which  I  have  proposed  unto 
others.  Let  them  be  effectual  in  me,  that  by  them 
I  may  be  supported  against  all  pains,  yea,  death 
itself" 

Mr.  Rivet  had  a  brother  in  the  ministry  nearly  as 
eminent  as  himself,  whom  he  loved  with  a  very  sin- 
cere and  tender  afiection.  The  niece  who  now  attended 
on  him,  was  the  daughter  of  this  brother,  and  that  he 
might  know  the  gracious  dealings  of  God  towaids 
him  in  his  sickness,  he  requested  liis  niece  to  write 
down  whatever  he  might  say,  from  time  to  time,  and 
communicate  it  to  her  father.  "  Not,"  says  he,  *'  that 
I  would  procure  praise  to  myself,  but  I  would  have  it 
known  to  all,  that  the  religion  which  I  have  professed 
and  taught  in  the  name  of  God,  is  the  true  religion, 
and  that  alone  which  leads  men  unto  salvation;  and, 
particularly,  I  would  have  my  brother  informed  of 
that  inestimable  grace  which  I  have  received  of  God, 
that  he  may  be  abundantly  comforted  and  strengthen- 
ed in  his  expectation  of  a  better  life,  which  I  already 


246 


THOUGHTS    ON 


enjoy.  0!  with  how  great  love  have  I  loved  and 
esteemed  him!  Yea,  I  have  loved  the  gifts  of  God  in 
him,  and  shall  love  them  to  the  last.  I  pray  God, 
who  is  the  giver  of  every  good  gift,  that  he  will 
strengthen  and  make  perfect  his  own  work  in  him. 
0,  Lord  God,  I  pray  not  only  for  my  brother,  but  for 
all  those  in  France  to  whom  thou  hast  committed  the 
conduct  and  rule  of  the  churches;  bless  their  persons, 
sanctify  their  gifts,  grant  that  they  may  return  to  the 
simplicity  which  is  in  Christ,  and  that  they  detract  not 
from  the  glory  of  God  to  ascribe  unto  man  v/hat  be- 
longs to  his  salvation."  He  now  broke  out  in  an 
extraordinary  transport,  "  0  great  and  immense  mer- 
cy! who  can  but  be  rapt  into  admiration?  He  gives 
both  being  and  well-being, — he  bestows  his  gifts,  he 
supporteth,  he  pardoneth,  he  worketh  in  us  both  to 
will  and  to  do,  according  to  his  good  pleasure,  and 
when  himself  hath  given  and  wrought  all  this,  yet 
he  gives  to  us  an  eternal  reward."  But  not  satisfied 
with  sending  messages  to  his  brother,  on  the  2d 
day  of  January  he  requested  to  be  raised  up  and 
placed  in  a  chair,  that  he  might  write  to  him;  and, 
accordingly,  he  penned,  with  his  own  hand,  a  fare- 
well letter,full  of  solemnity  and  tenderness;  he  wrote 
also  to  his  nephew, — after  which  exertion  he  found 
himself  much  exhausted.  But  the  only  thing  which 
gave  him  any  uneasiness  of  mind,  was,  lest  he  should 
be  disappointed  in  seeing  his  son.  But  his  comforts 
were  not  uninterrupted.  After  his  regular  physicians 
had  given  him  up,  some  persons  who  had  known 
relief,  in  such  cases,  from  a  particular  remedy,  urged 
that  it  should  be  tried.  He  submitted,  but  while  the 
experiment  put  him  to  great  pain,  it  produced  no 
change  for  the  better;  and  when  it  was  over, his  mind 
appeared  to  be  perturbed  and  uncomfortable.  "Alas!" 
said  he,  "  He  is  departed  from  me  that  made  glad  my 
heart.  I  have  grieved  that  Holy  Spirit,  the  com- 
forter, who  had  filled  my  soul  with  peace  and  joy.  I 
have  been  so  wretched  and  unhappy  as  to  give  ear  to 
those  who  spoke  to  me  of  my  returning  to  the  world.  I 
have  been  tickled  with  the  desire  of  living,  and  how 


KELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


247 


could  such  a  thing  be,  after  the  fruits  of  the  heavenly 
Canaan  had  been  tasted?"  Here  he  appeared  much 
distressed,  and  casting  his  arms  about  the  neck  of  his 
beloved  niece,  exclaimed,  "my  dear  niece,  help  me, 
continue  to  discourse  of  good  things  to  me, — call 
upon  the  Comforter  to  return  and  renew  that  excel- 
lent work  which  he  had  begun  in  me.  0,  return!  re- 
turn! conform  me  with  thy  strength  before  I  go  hence 
and  be  seen  no  more."  He  remained  in  this  state  of 
distress  for  a  short  time — when  he  was  reminded  of 
the  precious  promises  of  God;  but  being  exhausted,  he 
fell  into  a  swoon.  When  he  opened  his  eyes,  he  said 
to  his  wife,  who  was  by  him,  "my  dearest  yoke-fel- 
low, we  have  lived  together  in  peace  for  thirty  years, 
and  I  thank  thee  for  thy  help,  which  hath  been  a 
great  comfort  unto  me,  for  I  did  cast  all  domestic 
cares  on  thee;  continue,  I  beseech  thee,  to  love  my 
children  with  that  pious  affection  which  thou  hast 
hitherto,"  (the  children  were  by  a  former  wife). 
Then  turning  to  his  son,  who  had  arrived  that  morn- 
ing, he  said,  "and  thou  my  son,  love  and  honour  this 
dearest  companion  of  my  life,  the  partner  of  all  my 
joys  and  my  sorrows,  who  hath  done  the  duty  of  a 
motlier  towards  thee, — this  I  desire  of  thee,  and  this  I 
command  thee,  as  thou  expectest  a  blessing  from  God 
upon  what  I  have  gotten  for  my  labour, — divide  it 
between  you,  without  quarrelling  or  contention,  ac- 
cording to  what  is  just  and  right.  Then  taking  hold 
of  both  their  hands  and  joining  them  together,  he 
said,  "  promise  that  you  will  maintain  a  holy  and  mu- 
tual friendship  with  each  other," — to  which  they 
gave  their  assent.  Then  turning  to  his  wife,  he  said, 
"  the  Lord  bless  thee,  my  dear  love,  and  strengthen 
thee.  He  is  a  husband  to  the  widow,  and  a  father  of 
the  fatherless." 

And  to  his  son,  "the  Almighty  Father  bless  thee, 
my  son,  guide  thee  in  all  thy  ways,  enrich  thee  with 
all  Christian  virtues,  and  plentifully  make  thee  to 
abound  in  all  spiritual  and  temporal  blessings!  Re- 
gard not  the  world,  nor  its  deceitful  hopes,  for  the 
world  passeth  away,  and  the  lusts  thereof.     Place  all 


248 


THOUGHTS    ON 


thy  felicity  in  the  blessing  of  God.  Be  strong  in 
faith,  and  prepared  unto  every  good  work.  Let  the 
peace  of  God  dwell  in  thee,  and  make  thee  peaceable 
and  kind."  And  to  his  niece,  he  said,  "  Farewell, 
my  dear  niece,  we  have  a  kindred  in  the  heavens, 
which  shall  endure  for  ever." 

After  many  other  similar  discourses,  to  those  recor- 
ded, he  again  collected  his  family  and  blessed  them, 
and  desired  all  to  retire  and  leave  him  alone.  His 
niece,  who  scarcely  ever  went  out  of  his  sight,  asked, 
if  he  wished  her  to  withdraw  also,  he  said,  "  Do  not 
go  from  me,  but  be  thou  a  witness  of  my  last  hours." 
After  he  had  exhausted  himself  with  conversation 
with  his  son,  Mr.  Hulsius,  and  others,  he  was  asked 
how  he  did,  he  said,  "  Very  well — I  feel  no  pain — I 
am  filled  with  the  grace  of  God — lam  not  sensible  of 
cold  or  heat — I  fear,  no  more,  the  inconveniences  of 
temporal  life — the  Spirit  of  God  strengthens  me,  and 
affords  me  abundant  consolations.  I  have  no  doubt 
of  my  salvation.  He  hath  set  me  on  high.  He  hath 
hid  me  in  his  hiding  place.  He  hath  fenced  me  round 
about,  and  hath  perfected  whatsoever  concerns  me.  I 
am  like  a  vessel  filled  with  pure  water  which  no 
agitation  troubles.  It  is  God  that  justifieth  me,  who 
shall  condemn?  It  is  Christ  that  died,  yea  rather  is 
risen  again."  *  *  *  "  0  my  God,  I  thank  thee  that 
thou  hast  given  me  the  spirit  of  humility,  sincerity 
and  truth.     I  have  not  been  as  a  tinkling  cymbal. 

0  Lord,  thou  knowest  the  secrets  of  my  soul,  and  my 
inmost  thoughts.  Thou  hast  taught  me  in  the  school 
of  true  doctrine,  and  I  have  above  all  sought  the 
glory  of  thy  name.  0  Lord,  I  wait  for  the  moment 
which  thou  hast  determined.     I  believe,  I  persevere. 

1  am  not  troubled.  The  Spirit  of  God  vvitnesseth 
with  my  spirit  that  I  am  a  child  of  God." 

Though  every  day  was  expected  to  be  his  last,  yet 
the  strength  of  his  constitution  enabled  him  to  hold 
out  until  Saturday,  January  7,  1651.  To  the  last,  he 
continued  to  spend  his  whole  time,  when  awake,  in 
prayer,  and  in  such  discourses  as  we  have  recorded. 
On  Thursday  morning,  when  he  saw  the  light  of  day. 


RELIGrorS    EXPERIENCE.  249 

he  said,  "  It  is  day-light.     I   shall  shortly  no    more 
know  the  difference  between  day  and  night.     I  am 
come  to  the  eve  of  that  great  and  eternal  day,  and 
am  going  to  that  place,  where  the  sun  shall  no  more 
give  light.     God  will  bean  everlasting  light  nntome; 
and  already,  0  Lord,  thon  sendest  the  rays  of  that 
light  into  my  soul,  and  openest  my  eyes  that  I  may 
perceive  them.     0  how  powerfully  dost  thou  work  in 
me!     While  this  old  man  decays,  thou  puttest  on  me 
the  new  man,  which  is  renewed  in  knowledge  after 
the  image  of  him  that  created  it.     Deliver  me  from 
this  prison,  that  I  may  celebrate  thy  name;  yet  nei- 
ther do  I  so  contemn  this  body,  as  not  to  think  of  its 
■restoration;  for  I  know  thy  dead  shall  live,  yea  my 
dead  body.     It  is  sown  in  corruption,  it  shall  be  raised 
in  iiicorruption;  it  is  sown   a  vile   body,   but  it   will 
rise  a  glorious  body;  it  is  sown  in  weakness,  but  it 
shall  be  raised  again  in  power.     In  a  word,  it  shall 
be  conformed  to  the  glorious  body  of  our  Lord  Jesus 
Christ,  who  is  become  the  first   fruits  of  them  that 
sleep.     I  shall  see  him  in  my  flesh — mine  own  eyes 
shall  see  him — I  shall  behold  his  face  in  righteousness, 
and    shall    be    satisfied    with  his    likeness    when    I 
awake."     The  whole  of  this  day  was  spent  in  such 
like  discourses.     Among  other  things,  he  said,  "The 
sense  of  divine  favour  increaseth  in  me  every  moment. 
My    pains    are   tolerable,  but   my  joys  inestimable. 
I  am  no  more  vexed  with  earthly  cares.     I  remem- 
ber when  any  new  book  came  out,  how  earnestly  I 
have  longed  after  it — but  now  all  that  is   but  dust. 
Thou  art  my  all,  0  Lord,  my  good  is  to  approach  unto 
thee.     0,  what  a  library  have  I  in  God!  in  whom  is 
all  the  treasures  of  wisdom  and  knowledge.     Thou 
art  the  teacher  of  spirits — I  have  learned  more  divin- 
ity in  these  ten  days  that  thou  hast  come  to  visit  me, 
than  I  did  in  fifty  years    before."     The   last  words 
he  attempted  to  utter,  were   those  of  Paul,  "I  have 
fought  a  good  fight,"  &c.  and  when  others  assisted 
him  to  finish  them,  he  said.  Amen. 


250  THOUGHTS    ON 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 

Death-bed  exercises  and  speeches  of  Rev.  Thomas  Halyburton. 

Having  in  a  former  chapter  given  an  account  of 
Halyburton's  conversion,  written  by  himself,  in  ma- 
ture age,  it  will  be  gratifying  to  the  pious  reader  to 
learn  how  he  ended  his  course;  and  how  his  religion 
sustained  him  in  the  last  trying  conflict.  And  here, 
as  in  the  case  of  Rivet,  much  opportunity  was  given 
to  this  holy  man  to  leave  behind  him  an  ample  testi- 
mony of  the  preciousness  of  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ, 
and  of  the  power  of  divine  grace  to  support  and  com- 
fort the  true  believer,  even  in  the  pangs  of  dissolu- 
tion. When  first  seized  with  mortal  sickness,  he 
experienced,  for  a  while,  a  terrible  conflict,  in  which 
he  was  afraid  that  his  faith  would  fail;  but  his  God 
was  merciful  and  faithful  to  his  promises,  and  came 
to  his  relief.  To  one  who  came  to  see  him,  he  said, 
"I  have  a  great  conflict,  and  my  faith  is  like  to  fail. 
0  that  I  may  be  kept  now  in  this  last  trial,  that  is 
ensuing,  from  being  an  offence  to  God  and  his  peo- 
ple." When  some  of  his  brethren  came  to  see  him, 
he  said,  "  I  am  but  young,  and  have  but  little  experi- 
ence, but  this  death-bed  now  makes  me  old,  and 
therefore  I  use  the  freedom  to  exhort  you  to  faithful- 
ness in  the  Lord's  work.  You  will  never  repent  this. 
He  is  a  good  JNIaster,  I  have  always  found  him  so. 
If  I  had  a  thousand  lives,  I  would  think  them  all  too 
little  to  employ  in  his  service."  But  for  several  days 
he  was  under  a  cloud,  and  his  spiritual  joys  had  de- 
serted him;  and  when  a  friend  came  in,  he  said,  "  0 
what  a  terrible  conflict  I  had  yesterday;  but  now  I 
can  say,  '  I  have  fought  the  good  fight,  I  have  kept 
the  faith.'  Now  he  has  filled  my  mouth  with  a  new 
song.  'Jehovah  Jireh,  in  the  mount  of  the  Lord.' 
Praise,  praise  is  comely  for  the  upright.  Shortly  I 
shall  get  a  different  view  of  God  from  what  I  have 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  251 

ever  had,  and  shall  be  more  qualified  to  praise  him 
than  ever.  0!  tlie  thougiits  of  an  incarnate  God  are 
sweet  and  ravishing.  And  how  do  I  wonder  at  my- 
self that  I  do  not  love  him  more.  0  that  I  could 
honour  him!  What  a  wonder  that  I  enjoy  so  much 
coniposure  under  uU  my  bodily  trouble,  and  in  view 
of  approaching  death.  0  what  a  mercy,  that  I  have 
the  use  of  my  reason  till  I  have  declared  his  goodness 
unto  me."  To  his  wife  he  said,  "  He  came  to  me  in 
the  third  watch  of  the  night,  walking  upon  the  waters, 
and  he  said  unto  me,  'I  am  Alpha  and  Omega,  the 
lieginning  and  the  end.  I  was  dead  and  am  alive, 
and  live  for  ever  more,  and  have  the  keys  of  liell  and 
death.'  '  He  stilleth  the  tempest,  and  0  there  is  a 
sweet  calm  in  my  soul."  To  one  who  requested 
him  to  be  careful  of  iiis  health,  he  replied,  "I'll  strive 
to  last  as  long  as  I  can,  and  I'll  get  my  rest  ere  it  be 
long.  I  have  no  more  to  do  with  time,  but  carefully 
to  measure  it  out  for  the  glory  of  God."  Then  he 
said,  ■'  I  shall  see  my  Redeemer  stand  on  the  earth  at 
the  last  day;  but  I  hope  to  see  him  before  that,  the 
Lamb  in  the  midst  of  the  throne.  0  it  will  be  a  beauti- 
ful company,  'The  spirits  of  just  men  made  perfect, 
and  Jesus  the  Mediator  of  the  New  Covenant.  0 
for  grace,  grace,  to  bo  patient  to  the  end.'"  When 
one  said,  "Keep  the  light  of  the  window  from  him," 
he  said,  "Truly  light  is  sweet,  and  a  pleasant  thing 
it  is  to  behold  the  sun — the  Sun  of  Righteousness. 
0  glorious  light,  when  the  Lamb  is  the  light  of  the 
temple.  We  cannot  have  a  conception  of  it  now,  eye 
hath  not  seen,  nor  ear  heard,  &c."  Seeing  his  youngest 
child,  he  caused  them  to  bring  her  to  him,  and  said, 
"  Mary,  my  dear,  the  Lord  bless  you.  The  God  of 
your  father  and  of  my  father  bless  you. — The  God 
that  fed  me  all  my  life. — The  Angel  that  redeemed 
me  from  all  evil,  bless  you  and  the  rest,  and  be  your 
portion.  That  is  a  goodly  heritage,  better  than  if  I 
had  crowns  and  sceptres  to  leave  you.  -  JSIy  child,  I 
received  you  from  him,  and  I  give  you  to  him  again." 
To  his  wife  he  said,"  Encourage  yourself  in  the  Lord. 
He  will  keep  you,  even  though  you  come  into  enemies' 


252  THOUGHTS    ON 

hands,  surely  he  will  cause  the  enemy  to  treat  you 
well."  He  then  declared  his  willingness  to  part 
with  his  dearest  relatives,  and  said,  "For  this  is  the 
practical  part  of  religion;  to  make  use  of  it  when  we 
come  to  the  strait.  This  is  a  lesson  of  practical  di- 
vinity." When  the  physician  came  in,  he  addressed 
him  in  the  following  solemn  and  pungent  language, 
"  Doctor,  as  to  this  piece  of  work  you  are  nearly  at  an 
end  of  it.  I  wish  you  to  lay  it  to  heart;  death  will 
come  to  your  door  also.  And  it  is  a  business  of  great 
moment  to  die  like  a  Christian;  and  it  is  a  rare  thing. 
Christ  himself  has  told  us  that  there  are  few  that  shall 
be  saved  even  among  them  who  are  outwardly  called. 
I  wish  the  Lord  himself  may  show  you  kindness. 
The  greatest  kindness  I  am  now  capable  of  showing 
you  is,  to  recommend  serious  religion  to  you.  There 
is  a  reality  in  religion,  Doctor,  but  this  is  an  age  that 
hath  lost  the  sense  of  it.  'He  has  not  said  to  the 
house  of  Jacob,  seek  ye  my  face  in  vain.'  Atheists 
will  one  day  see  whether  it  be  so  or  not.  I  bless  God 
that  I  was  educated  by  godly  parents  in  the  princi- 
ples of  the  Church  of  Scotland.  I  bless  him  that 
when  I  came  to  riper  years,  I  did,  on  mature  delibe- 
ration, make  these  principles  my  choice.  I  bless  the 
Lord,  I  have  been  helped  ever  since  to  adhere  to 
them,  without  wavering.  I  bless  him  that  I  have 
seen  that  holiness  yields  peace  and  comfort  in  pros- 
perity and  adversity.  What  should  I  seek  more,  or 
desire  more  to  give  in  evidence  of  the  reality  of  re- 
ligion? Therefore  I  am  not  ashamed  of  the  gospel  of 
Christ;  for  it  is  the  power  of  God  unto  salvation  to 
every  one  that  believeth.  I  am  so  far  from  altering 
my  thoughts  of  religion  by  reason  of  the  present  con- 
tempt thrown  on  it,  and  opposition  made  to  it,  that 
these  things  endear  it  the  more  to  me."  After  much 
more  of  the  same  kind,  he  said,  "Well,  Doctor,  the 
Lord  be  with  you,  and  persuade  you  to  be  in  earnest. 
I  return  you  thanks  for  your  attention."  After  a 
pause,  he  proceeded,  "Every  one  that  is  in  Christ 
Jesus  must  be  a  new  creature:  he  must  have  union 
with  Christ  and  a  new  nature.     That  is  the  ground- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE,  253 

work  of  religion.  The  Christian  religion  is  little 
understood  by  the  most  of  us.  0,  the  gospel  of 
Christ,  how  purely  was  it  preached  in  this  place, 
when  I  was  at  the  university;  though  I  found  not 
the  sweetness  of  it,  at  that  time,  as  1  have  found  it 
since.  It  has  fallen  on  me  like  showers  on  the  mown 
grass.  Verily  there  is  a  reality  in  religion.  Few 
have  lively  impressions  of  it.  Now  get  acquaintance 
with  God.  The  little  acquaintance  1  have  had  with 
God  these  two  days,  has  more  than  ten  thousand 
times  repaid  the  pains  I  have  in  all  my  life  taken 
about  religion.  It  is  a  good  thing  to  have  God  to 
go  to,  when  we  are  turning  our  face  against  the 
wall.  'He  is  known  for  a  refuge  in  the  palaces  of 
Zion,  a  very  present  help  in  trouble.'  0  there  is  a 
strange  hardness  in  the  heart  of  man." 

To  his  children,  he  said,  "  My  children,  I  have  no- 
thing to  say  to  you,  but  that  ye  be  seekers  of  God. 
Fulfil  my  joy.  Alas!  that  I  was  so  long  in  beginning 
to  seek  God!  and  yet  I  was  touched  with  convictions 
tiiat  God  was  seeking  me,  before  I  arrived  at  the 
years  of  some  of  yon."  To  his  eldest  daughter  he 
said,  "  Margaret,  you  seem  sometimes  to  have  con- 
victions; beware  of  them — they  are  the  most  danger- 
ous things  you  ever  meddled  with:  for  although  you 
seek  not  God,  every  one  of  them  is  God's  messen- 
ger; and  if  you  despise  God's  messenger,  it  will  be 
avenged  on  you.  My  dear,  seek  the  Lord,  and  be 
your  mother's  comfort." 

He  requested  that  the  13Sth  of  Mr.  Rutherford's 
letters  should  be  read  to  him,  and  then  said,  "This 
is  a  book  I  would  recommend  to  you  all;  there  is 
more  practical  religion  in  that  letter,  than  in  some 
large  volumes." 

When  the  three  ministers  of  the  place  came  to  see 
him,  he  addressed  them  with  great  fidelity  and  affec- 
tion:— "Dear  brethren,  it  is  not  from  any  confidence 
in  myself,  but  out  of  a  sincere  love  to  you,  and  from 
what  I  myself  have  experienced,  that  for  your  encou- 
ragement I  presumed  to  say:  when  the  Lord  helped 
me  to  diligence  in  studying  and  meditating,  I  found 
'  17 


254  THOUGHTS    ON 

him  then  remarkably  shining  upon  me,  and  testifying 
his  approbation  of  a  sincere  mind.  There  is  nothing 
to  be  had  with  a  slack  hand."  And  to  one  of  them 
who  had  recently  entered  the  ministry,  "Your  entry 
into  His  ministry,  is  likely  to  fall  on  an  evil  day;  but 
there  is  one  thing  for  your  encouragement:  you  have 
a  call.  The  times  will  make  hard  work  for  you  in 
this  place;  but  that  which  makes  your  work  the 
harder  is,  that  the  people  are  hardened  under  a  long 
course  of  pure  gospel  ordinances.  However,  be 
faithful,  and  God  will  strengthen  his  own  work.  I 
will  not  say  that  you  will  get  things  brought  to  the 
state  you  desire  them;  but  I'll  tell  you  I  have  ever 
thought,  and  I'll  abide  by  it,  if  ministers  will  ply 
their  work,  though  they  cannot  bring  sinners  to  the 
Lord,  they  may  make  their  consciences, that  a  prophet 
has  been  among  them,  speak  for  the  Lord,  whether 
they  will  or  not." 

"  Now,  brethren,  give  diligence,  hold  fast  what  ye 
have,  I  must  say  a  word  unto  my  brethren,  it  is  on 
my  heart;  I  am  young,  but  I  am  near  the  end  of  my 
life,  and  that  makes  me  old.  It  becomes  me  to  take 
advice  from  you,  however,  I  only  wish  to  exhort  you 
to  diligence  in  the  common  salvation, — I  repent  I  did 
no  more,  but  I  have  peace  in  reflecting  that  what  I 
did,  I  did  sincerely.  He  accepted  the  mite.  It  was 
the  delight  of  my  heart  to  preach  the  gospel,  and  it 
made  me  sometimes  neglect  a  frail  body.  I  even 
thought  if  I  could  contribute  to  the  saving  of  a  soul, 
it  would  be  to  me  a  star,  a  crown — a  glorions  crown. 
I  knew  this  was  the  thing  that  I  aimed  at — I  desired 
to  decrease,  that  the  bridegroom  might  increase;  and 
to  be  nothing,  that  He  might  be  all,  and  I  rejoice  in 
his  exaltation."  To  two  ministers  who  came  in  from 
the  country,  he  said,  •'  brethren,  we  have  need  to 
take  care,  with  the  great  apostle,  lest  when  we  have 
preached  Christ  to  others,  we  ourselves  should  be  cast- 
aways. We  have  need  to  fear,  lest  it  be  so.  Happy 
is  the  man  that  feareth  always.  Be  diligent  in  preach- 
ing the  gospel — let  it  be  your  care  not  only  to  be  dili- 
gent in  composing  sermons,  but,  above  all,  to  scan 


RELIGIOUS     EXPERIEXCE.  255 

your  own  hearts,  to  enable  you  to  dive  info  con- 
sciences to  awaken  liypocrites,  and  to  separate  the 
precious  from  the  vile — and  to  do  it  with  sucli  accu- 
racy as  not  lo  make  sad  the  hearts  of  those  whom 
God  would  have  made  glad.  The  great  point  in 
religion,  and  in  the  management  of  your  ministry,  is, 
that  you  may  obtain  the  testimony  of  the  great  Shep- 
herd, when  he  shall  appear.  As  to  the  work  of  the 
ministry,  it  was  my  delight  and  my  deliberate  choice; 
and  were  my  days  lengthened  out  much  more,  and 
the  times  as  troublesome  as  they  are  likely  to  be,  I 
would  rather  be  a  continued  minister  of  God,  than 
the  greatest  prince  on  earth.  I  preached  the  gospel  of 
Christ  with  pleasure,  and  loved  it,  for  my  own  soul's 
salvation  was  upon  it,  and  since  I  lay  down,  I  have 
not  changed  my  thoughts  about  it.  I  connnend  it  to 
you  all  to  double  your  diligence.  There  may  be  hard 
conflicts;  you  have  a  prospect  of  difficulties  between 
you  and  the  grave.  We  all  appear  good  when  un- 
tried, but  we  have  need  to  have  on  the  whole  armour 
of  God,  to  watch  and  be  sober." 

To  his  successor  in  the  parish  which  he  had  served 
before  he  came  to  the  University,  he  said,  "  I  have 
this  to  say,  as  to  that  congregation,  that  people  were 
my  choice.  With  much  peace  and  pleasure  I  preach- 
ed as  I  could,  though  not  as  I  should,  the  gospel  of 
Jesus  Christ.  Though,  in  all  things,  I  own  myself  to 
have  sinned  exceedingly  before  the  Lord,  yet  I  have 
the  consolation  that  I  anxiously  aimed  at  leading 
them  to  the  Lord  Jesus,  and  another  foundation  can 
no  man  lay.  I  hope  you  will  build  on  the  same 
foundation,  for,  as  you  will  in  that  way  save  your 
own  soul,  so  it  is  the  way  to  save  them  that  hear  you. 
From  experience  I  can  say,  that  the  pursuing  this 
sincerely,  is  the  way  of  salvation.  Signify  to  them 
that  if  it  pleases  the  Lord  to  take  me  away,  I  die, 
rejoicing  in  the  faith,  and  in  the  profession  of  what  I 
preached  to  them,  under  a  low  state  of  body;  and, 
that  without  this  I  could  have  no  comfort.  I  would 
have  my  people  understand,  that  the  gospel  which  I 
recommended  to  them,  if  not  received,  will  be  a  wit- 


256 


THOUGHTS    ON 


ness  against  them."  His  successor  remarked,  "  I  am 
persuaded  you  have  seals  to  your  ministry  in  that 
parish."  He  answered,  "  we  are  Hke  our  Master,  set 
for  the  fall  and  rising  again  of  many,  though  we  can 
do  no  more;  if  we  are  faithful,  they  shall  know  that  a 
prophet  has  been  among  them." 

Mr.  Halyburton  conversed  much  with  his  friends, 
and  most  of  his  discourses  have  been  preserved,  but 
we  have  only  room  for  a  small  part  of  what  he  uttered 
on  his  death-bed.  A  specimen,  however,  will  serve 
to  show  the  spirit  of  the  man,  and  the  state  of  his 
mind,  as  weU  as  the  whole.  There  are  still  some  of 
his  dying  speeches  so  excellent,  that  I  cannot  think 
that  their  insertion  will  appear  tedious  to  the  pious 
reader.  But  besides  his  discourses  with  his  friends 
and  visiters,  he  drew  up  a  paper  in  the  form  of  a  last 
will  or  testimony,  in  which  he  gives  at  large  his 
views  of  doctrine  and  worship.  The  whole  of  this 
paper  is  highly  worthy  of  attention,  but  we  can  only 
insert  the  following  extract: 

"Everything  in  God's  way  and  in  his  word  is 
glorious,  honourable,  and  like  himself  He  needs 
none  of  our  testimonies;  but  it  is  the  least  that  we 
can  do  to  signify  our  wishes  to  have  his  praises  cele- 
brated. And  I,  being  so  many  ways  obliged,  take 
this  solemn  occasion  to  acknowledge,  before  I  leave 
the  world,  these,  among  many  other  innumerable 
obligations;  and  I  desire  to  bequeath  this  as  my  last, 
best  legacy,  to  my  family,  even  my  serious  and  solemn 
advice,  that  they  should  make  choice  of  God  for  their 
God.  He  has  been  my  father's  God:  the  God  both 
of  my  wife's  predecessors  and  mine;  and  he  has  been, 
we  hope,  our  God;  and  I  recommend  him  to  my 
children,  for  their  God;  solemnly  charging  them,  even 
all  of  them,  as  they  will  be  answerable  on  the  great 
day,  to  make  it  their  first  care,  to  seek  after  peace 
with  God,  and  reconciliation  through  Christ  crucified; 
and  being  reconciled,  to  make  it  their  constant  care 
to  please  him  in  all  things.  I  beseech  them  with  all 
the  bowels  of  a  father,  as  they  love  their  souls,  that 
they  sit  not  down  short  of  a  saving  acquaintance  with 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  257 

him;  that  they  wait  dihgently  upon  the  means  of 
grace,  atid  attend  the  worship  of  God  in  all  duties, 
especially  secret  and  family  duties,  and  that  they 
carefully  attend  public  ordinances.  Beware  of  con- 
tenting yourselves  with  the  mere  form  of  these  duties, 
but  cry  to  the  Lord  for  communion  in  them;  and 
for  the  outpouring  of  his  Spirit,  whereby  ye  may  be 
enabled  to  worship  God  in  spirit,  who  is  a  Spirit. 
It  is  my  charge  to  you,  and  that  in  which  I  am  more 
concerned  than  in  any  thing  relating  to  you,  that  you 
follow  him  fully,  without  turning  to  the  right  hand, 
or  to  the  left.  In  this  way  I  dare  promise  you  bless- 
edness. If  you  follow  this  way,  I  do  bless  you  all, 
and  pray  that  He  who  blesses,  and  they  who  are 
blessed,  may  bless  you  all.  I  have,  often  as  I  could, 
devoted  all  of  you  to  God;  and  there  is  nothing  I 
have  so  much  at  heart,  as  that  ye  may  indeed  be  the 
Lord's.  And  if  ye  turn  aside  from  this  way,  I  would 
have  this  be  a  standing  witness  against  you,  in  the 
day  of  the  Lord.  0  that  God  himself  by  his  grace, 
may,  in  the  day  of  his  power,  determine  your  tender 
hearts  to  seek  him  early;  for  then  will  He  be  a  good 
portion  unto  you." 

When  some  people  came  in  to  see  him,  he  said, 
"  For  these  fourteen  or  fifteen  years,  I  have  been 
studying  the  promises;  but  I  have  seen  more  of  the 
book  of  God  this  night,  than  in  all  that  time.  0  the 
wisdom  that  is  laid  up  in  the  book  of  God!  I  know, 
a  great  deal  that  comes  from  a  dying  man  will  go  for 
canting  and  raving,  but  I  bless  God,  that  he  has  pre- 
served to  me  the  little  judgment  that  I  had,  and  I 
have  been  enabled,  with  composure,  to  reflect  on  his 
dealing  with  me.  I  am  sober  and  composed,  if  I 
ever  was  so.  And  whether  men  will  hear  or  forbear, 
this  is  my  testimony.  The  operations  of  the  Spirit 
of  God,  are  ridiculed  in  this  day;  but  if  we  take  away 
the  operations  and  influences  of  the  Spirit  of  God, 
in  religion,  I  know  not  what  is  left.  He  promised 
the  Spirit  to  lead  us  into  all  truth.  0  that  this  gene- 
ration would  awake  to  seek  after  the  quickening 
influences  of  the  Spirit.     0  for  a  day  of  the  down 


258 


THOUGHTS    ON 


pouring  of  the  Spirit  from  on  high,  in  a  work  of  con- 
version ! — For  such  a  day  as  that,  when  the  Spirit  of 
God  effectually  reached  our  fathers,  and  brought 
forth  great  men,  and  caused  others  to  be  conquered 
by  thern !    '  The  residue  of  the  Spirit  is  with  him.'  " 

The  state  of  the  church  was  much  on  his  mind, 
and   he  was  greatly  concerned  for  Scotland,  lest  a 
dry,  formal,  and  merely  rational  religion  should  pre- 
vail; of  which  he  saw  some  symptoms.       He   ex- 
pressed also  strong  apprehensions  that  the  judgments 
of  God  were   about  to  be  inflicted  on  his  country. 
The  welfare  of  his  pupils  also  engaged  much  of  his 
attention.     He  often  expressed  a  desire  to  have  them 
around  him,  that  he  might  give  them  one  practical 
lecture  from  his  death  bed.     But  as  this  could  not 
be  done,  it  being  vacation,  he  dictated  a  letter  to  the 
students  of  theology,  in  which  he  gives  them  solemn 
and  useful  advice.     He  recommended  to  them  the 
perusal  of  the  writings  of  the  great  Dr.  Owen;  but 
immediately  added,  "But  the  word  of  God,  in  depen- 
dence on  the  Spirit  of  God,  must  be  your  study  and 
meditation,  day  and  night.     Words  cannot  express 
what  I   have   found  of  God,  since  I   came    to    this 
bed   of  languishing;    I   am   bold    to  recommend    to 
you  this  work,  as  the  most  noble,  honourable,  and 
advantageous   you   can   be    employed   in.       And    I 
am  this  day  sure,  from  experence,  that  it  is  better 
to  serve  the  Lord  in  the  gospel  of  his  Son,  than   to 
serve  the  greatest  princes   on   earth,  in  the  highest 
station.     If  God  help  you  in  this  service,  the  reward 
is  too  great  to  be  expressed.     My  thoughts,  my  words 
are  swallowed  up,  and  my  affection  toward  you  is 
such,  that  my  body  would  quite  sink  to  speak  what  is 
in  my  heart,  of  love  to  you,  and  desire  to  have  you 
acquainted  with  my  dearest  Lord,  to   whom   I    was 
always  deeply  obliged,  but  am  now  so  much  indebted 
that  I  fear  to  mention  how  good  he  has  been  to  my 
soul.     0  choose  him — cleave  to  him — serve  him — 
study  to  know  him  more  and  more — live  in  communion 
with  him.     Never  rest  until  you  reach  eternal  com- 
munion with  him.     I  have  desired  my  brother-in-law 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


259 


to  sign  this  in  iny  name.  I  wish  nothing  more  than 
that  when  you  have  done  ranch  service  to  the  church 
here,  I  may  have  the  happiness  of  hearing  you  ap- 
proved by  the  Great  Shepherd." 

As  his  disease  was  a  puhnonary  consumption,  he 
lasted  long,  and  retained  the  uninterrupted  exercise  of 
his  reason,  and  after  the  first  severe  conflict,  of  which 
mention  was  made,  he  enjoyed  peace  and  joy  without 
intermission,  and  manifested  in  manifold  ways,  and 
particularly  by  his  heavenly  discourse,  the  power  of 
divine  grace,  and  the  eminence  of  that  faith  in  Christ, 
by  which  he  was  so  remarkably  supported  to  the  end. 
He  lost  no  opportunity  of  seeking  to  benefit  all  who 
approached  him,  and  often  addressed  himself  to  his 
wife  and  children  individually,  in  the  most  tender  and 
earnest  manner.  And  as  many  ministers  came  to  see 
him,  he  exercised  great  fidelity  in  his  solemn  exhorta- 
tions to  them,  to  be  diligent  and  faithful  in  the  work 
of  the  Lord.  At  length  the  powers  of  nature  were 
exhausted,  and  for  some  days  he  was  in  a  dying  state. 
Among  his  last  words  were, "  Free  grace,  free  grace — 
not  unto  me."  And  when  his  speech  had  utterly 
failed,  when  one  said,  I  hope  you  are  encouraging 
yourself  in  the  Lord,  he  lifted  up  his  hands  and  clap- 
ped them. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

Dying  Experience  of  Mr.  John  Janeway,  the  Rev.  Edward  Payson, 
and  Rev.  Samuel  Finley,  D.  D. 

Mr.  Janeway  was  a  young  man  who  had  just  enter- 
ed the  holy  ministry,  when  he  was  called  away,  and 
exchanged  earth  for  heaven.  He  was  never  permit- 
ted to  preach  more  than  two  sermons,  before  his  lungs 
were  so  affected,  that  he  was  obliged  to  cease  from  his 
earthly  labours.  During  his  last  days,  he  was  absorb- 
ed in  the  contemplation  of  Christ  and  heaven.     His 


260  THOUGHTS    ON 

meditations,  his  discourses,  his  whole  deportment, 
made  it  evident,  that  he  was  ripening  for  glory.  His 
faith  had  grown  up  to  a  full  assurance,  and  he  often 
feasted  on  the  rich  provisions  of  God's  house,  and 
enjoyed  many  foretastes  of  future  blessedness.  The 
Lord  often  called  him  up  to  the  mount  and  let  liim 
see  his  glory.  In  the  midst  of  earthly  comforts,  he 
longed  for  death,  and  his  thoughts  of  the  day  of  judg- 
ment were  refreshing  to  him.  He  would  say,  "  What 
if  the  day  of  judgment  were  come,  even  this  hour,  I 
would  be  glad  with  all  my  heart.  I  should  behold 
such  lightnings,  and  hear  such  thunderings  as  Israel 
did  at  the  mount,  and  I  am  persuaded,  my  heart 
would  leap  for  joy.  The  meditation  of  that  day, 
hath  even  ravished  my  soul;  and  the  thoughts  of  its 
certainty  and  nearness,  are  more  refreshing  to  my 
soul,  than  all  earthly  comforts.  Surely  nothing  can 
more  revive  my  spirit,  than  to  behold  the  blessed 
Jesus,  who  is  the  life  and  joy  of  my  soul."  When 
he  began  to  sink  rapidly  under  his  complaint,  his  soul 
was  so  devoutly  occupied  in  the  contemplation  of 
Christ  and  heaven,  that  he  almost  forgot  his  pains  and 
sickness.  His  faith,  his  love,  and  his  joy,  exceedingly 
abounded.  Ha  would  frequently  exclaim,  "  Oh!  that 
I  could  let  you  know  what  I  feel!  Oh,  that  I  could 
show  you  what  I  now  see!  Oh,  that  I  could  express 
the  thousandth  part  of  that  sweetness  which  I  now 
find  in  Christ!  You  would  then  all  think  it  worth 
while  to  make  religion  your  chief  business.  Oh,  my 
dear  friends,  you  little  think  what  Christ  is  worth 
upon  a  death-bed.  I  would  not  now  for  a  world, 
nay,  for  a  million  of  worlds,  be  without  Christ  and 
pardon.  I  would  not  for  a  world  live  any  longer, 
and  the  very  thought  of  a  possibility  of  recovery, 
makes  me  tremble.  I  do  tell  you,  that  I  so  long  to 
be  with  Christ,  that  I  could  be  content  to  be  cut  in 
pieces,  and  put  to  the  most  exquisite  tortures,  so  I 
might  die  and  be  w^xh  Christ.  Oh  how  sweet  Jesus 
is.  '  Come  Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly.'  Death  do  thy 
worst.  Death  has  lost  its  terrors.  Through  grace,  I 
can  say  death  is  nothing  to  me.     I  can  as  easily  die 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  261 

as  shut  my  eyes.  I  long  to  die — I  long  to  be  with 
Christ."  He  charged  his  friends  most  earnestly,  not 
to  pray  for  his  Hfe.  "  Oh  the  glory,  the  unspeakable 
glory  which  I  behold — my  heart  is  full — my  iieart  is 
full.  Christ  smiles,  and  I  am  constrained  to  smile. 
Can  you  find  it  in  your  hearts  to  stop  me,  now  I  am 
going  to  the  complete  and  eternal  enjoyment  of  Christ.-' 
Would  you  keep  me  from  my  crown?  The  arms  of 
my  blessed  Saviour  are  open  to  receive  me.  The 
angels  stand  ready  to  carry  my  soul  into  his  bosom. 
Oh,  did  you  see  but  what  I  see,  you  would  cry  out 
with  me, '  Dear  Lord,  how  long.'  '  Come  Lord  Jesus, 
come  quickly.'  '  Oh  why  are  thy  chariot  wheels  so 
long  in  coming.'  "  A  minister  having  spoken  to  him 
of  the  joys  of  heaven,  he  said,  "  Sir,  I  feel  something 
of  it.  My  heart  is  as  full  as  it  can  hold  in  this  lower 
state.  I  can  hold  no  more.  Oh,  that  I  could  but  let 
you  know  what  I  feel.  Who  am  I  Lord,  who  am  I, 
that  thou  shouldst  be  mindful  of  me?  Why  me, 
Lord,  why  me?  and  pass  by  thousands  to  look  on 
such  a  wretch  as  I.  Oh,  what  shall  I  say  unto  thee, 
thou  preserver  of  men?  Oh  blessed,  and  for  ever 
blessed,  be  free  grace.  Why  is  it  Lord  that  thou 
shouldest  manifest  thyself  unto  me  and  not  to  others? 
*Even  so,  Father,  because  it  seemed  good  in  thy 
sight.'  Thou  wilt  have  mercy,  because  thou  wilt 
have  mercy.  And  if  thou  wilt  look  on  such  a  worm, 
who  can  hinder?  Who  would  not  love  thee,  0  bless- 
ed Father?  Oh  how  sweet  and  gracious  hast  thou 
been  to  me!  Oh,  that  He  should  have  me  in  his 
thoughts  before  the  foundation  of  the  world. 

On  one  occasion,  after  his  brother  had  been  praying 
with  him,  his  joys  became  unutterable,  he  broke  out 
in  such  exclamations  as  these,  "  Oh,  He  is  come — He 
is  come — how  sweet,  how  glorious,  is  the  blessed 
Jesus!  He  is  altogether  lovely.  How  shall  I  speak 
the  thousandth  part  of  his  praise?  Oh  for  words  to 
set  forth  a  little  part  of  his  excellency!  Come  look 
on  a  dying  man  and  wonder.  Was  there  ever  greater 
kindness?  Were  there  ever  more  sensible  manifesta- 
tions of  grace?     Oh  why  me.  Lord,  why  me?     Surely 


262 


THOUGHTS    ON 


this  is  akin  to  heaven,  and  if  I  were  never  to  enjoy 
more  than  this,  it  is  more  than  a  sufficient  recompense 
for  all  that  men  and  devils  could  inflict.  If  this  be 
dying,  it  is  sweet.  The  bed  is  soft.  Christ's  arms, 
and  smiles,  and  love,  surely  would  turn  hell  into 
heaven.  Oh  that  you  did  but  see  and  feel  what  I  do. 
Behold  a  dying  man,  more  cheerful  than  you  ever 
saw  a  man  in  health,  in  the  midst  of  his  sweetest 
worldly  enjoyments.  Oh  sirs,  worldly  pleasures  are 
poor,  pitiful,  sorry  things,  when  compared  with  this 
glory  in  my  soul."  He  often  exhorted  those  around 
him  to  assist  him  in  his  praises.  "  Oh,"  said  he,"  help 
me  to  praise  God.  Henceforth,  through  eternity,  I 
have  nothing  else  to  do  but  to  love  and  praise  the 
Lord.  I  cannot  tell  what  to  pray  for,  which  is  not 
already  given  me.  I  want  only  one  thing,  and  that 
is,  a  speedy  lift  to  heaven.  I  expect  no  more  here. 
I  desire  no  more — I  can  bear  no  more.  Oh  praise, 
praise,  praise  that  boundless  love  which  hath  won- 
derfully looked  upon  my  soul,  and  hath  done  more  for 
me,  than  for  thousands  of  his  children.  Bless  the 
Lord,  0  my  soul,  and  all  that  is  within  me  bless  his 
holy  name.  0  my  friends,  help  me,  help  me,  to  ad- 
mire and  praise  Him  who  hath  done  such  astonishing 
wonders  for  my  soul.  He  hath  pardoned  all  my  sins 
and  filled  me  with  his  goodness.  He  hath  given  me 
grace  and  glory,  and  no  good  thing  hath  He  withheld 
from  me.  All  ye  mighty  angels  help  me  to  praise 
God.  Let  every  thing  that  hath  being  help  me  to 
praise  Him.  Praise  is  my  work  now,  and  will  be  my 
work  for  ever.  Hallelujah,  Hallelujah,  Hallelujah!" 
A  few  hours  before  his  death  he  had  his  mother 
and  brothers  and  sisters  called  around  his  bed,  when 
in  a  most  solemn  and  affecting  manner  he  addressed 
himself  in  turn  to  each,  and  took  leave  of  them.  To 
his  mother  he  offered  his  thanks  for  her  tender  love, 
and  expressed  his  desire  that  she  might  see  Christ 
formed  in  the  hearts  of  all  her  children,  and  meet 
them  all  with  joy  at  the  day  of  judgment.  Then  he 
took  his  brothers  and  sisters  in  order,  and  offered  an 
appropriate  petition  for  each.     He  then  said,  "Oh, 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


263 


that  none  of  us  may  be  found  among  the  unconverted 
in  the  day  of  judgment!  Oh,  that  we  may  all  appear 
with  our  honoured  father  and  dear  mother,  before 
Christ  with  joy.  Oh,  that  we  may  hve  to  God  here, 
and  Uve  with  God  hereafter.  And  now,  my  dear 
mother,  brothers,  and  sisters,  farewell!"  His  last 
words  were,  "  thy  work  is  done — I  have  fought  a 
good  fight,"  &c.  "  Come  Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly." 
After  which  he  immediately  expired. 

No  man,  in  our  country,  has  left  behind  him  a 
higher  character  for  eminent  piety,  than  the  Rev. 
Edward  Payson.  His  views  and  exercises,  when 
near  death,  will  answer  well  to  be  placed  by  the  side 
of  those  of  Mr.  John  Janeway. 

When  this  faithful  pastor  found  that  his  end  was 
approaching  he  felt  a  strong  desire  to  address  some 
advice  to  his  flock,  he  therefore  had  it  announced 
from  the  pulpit,  that  he  would  be  pleased  to  see  as 
many  of  them  as  could  make  it  convenient  to  come  to 
his  house,  and  appointed  them  a  time.  To  them,  when 
assembled,  he  spake  nearly  as  follows:  "It  has  often 
been  remarked  that  people  who  have  gone  to  the 
other  world  cannot  come  back  to  tell  us  what  they 
have  seen;  but  I  am  so  near  the  eternal  world,  that  I 
can  see  almost  as  clearly,  as  if  I  were  there;  and  I 
see  enough  to  satisfy  myself,  at  least,  of  the  truth  of 
the  doctrines  which  I  have  preached.  I  do  not  know 
that  I  should  feel  at  all  surer  had  I  been  there.  It  is 
always  interesting  to  see  others  in  a  situation  in  which 
we  know  we  must  shortly  be  placed  ourselves;  and 
we  all  kuow  that  we  must  die.  And  to  see  a  poor  crea- 
ture, when,  after  an  alternation  of  hopes  and  fears,  he 
finds  that  his  disease  is  mortal,  and  death  comes  to 
tear  him  away  from  every  thing  he  loves,  and  crowds 
him  to  the  very  verge  of  the  precipice  of  destruction, 
and  then  thrusts  him  down  headlong.  Tiiere  he  is 
cast  into  an  unknown  world;  no  friend,  no  Saviour 
to  receive  him.  0  how  different  is  this,  from  the 
state  of  a  man  who  is  prepared  to  die!  He  is  not 
obliged  to  be  crowded  along,  but  the  other    world 


264 


THOUGHTS   ON 


comes  like  a  great  magnet  to  draw  him  away  from 
this;  and  he  knows  that  he  is  going  to  enjoy — and 
not  only  knows  but  begins  to  taste  it — ^perfect  happi- 
ness, for  ever,  for  ever,  and  ever.  And  now  God  is 
in  this  room.  I  see  Him!  and  0,  how  unspeakably 
lovely  and  glorious  does  he  appear!  worthy  of  ten 
thousand  hearts,  if  we  had  so  many.  He  is  here,  and 
hears  me  pleading  with  the  creatures  that  he  has 
made,  whom  he  preserves  and  loads  with  blessings, 
to  love  him.  And  how  terrible  does  it  appear  to  me 
to  sin  against  this  God — to  set  up  our  wills  in 
opposition  to  his.  It  makes  my  blood  run  cold  to 
think  how  miserable  I  should  now  be  without  reli- 
gion. To  lie  here  and  see  myself  tottering  on  the 
verge  of  destruction.  0,  I  should  be  distracted.  And 
when  I  see  my  fellow  creatures  in  this  situation,  I 
am  in  an  agony  for  them,  that  they  may  escape  the 
danger  before  it  be  too  late.  Suppose  we  should 
hear  the  sound  of  some  one  pleading  earnestly  with 
another,  and  we  should  inquire,  what  is  that  man 
pleading  for  so  earnestly?  0,  he  is  only  pleading 
with  a  fellow  creature,  to  love  his  God,  his  Saviour, 
his  Preserver,  his  Benefactor.  He  is  only  pleading 
with  him,  not  to  throw  away  his  immortal  soul;  not 
to  pull  down  everlasting  wretchedness  on  his  own 
head.  He  is  only  persuading  him  to  avoid  eternal 
misery  and  accept  eternal  happiness.  '  Is  it  possible,' 
we  should  exclaim,  '  that  any  persuasion  can  be  neces- 
sary for  this?'  And  yet  it  is  necessary.  0, my  friends! 
do,  do  love  this  glorious  Being.  Do  seek  for  the  salva- 
tion of  your  immortal  souls.  Hear  the  voice  of  your 
dying  minister,  while  he  entreats  you  to  care  for  your 
souls." 

On  another  occasion,  he  said,  "  I  find  satisfaction  in 
looking  at  nothing  that  I  have  done.  I  have  not 
fought,  but  Christ  has  fought  for  me.  I  have  not 
run,  but  Christ  has  carried  me.  I  have  not  worked, 
but  Christ  has  wrought  in  me.  Christ  has  done  all." 
The  perfections  of  God  were  to  him  a  well-spring  of 
joy,  and  the  promises   were  breasts  of  consolation, 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


265 


whence  his  soul  drew  aliment  and  comfort.  "0," 
exclaimed  he,  "the  loving  kindness  of  God.  His 
loving  kindness!  This  afternoon,  while  I  was  medi- 
tating, the  Lord  seemed  to  pass  by  and  proclaim  him- 
self, '  The  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious.'  '  0 
how  gracious!'  Try  to  conceive  of  that — '  his  loving 
kindness,''  as  if  it  were  not  enough  to  say  kindness, 
hut  loving  kindness!  What  must  be  the  loving 
kindness  of  the  Lord  who  is  himself  infinite  in  love? 
It  seemed,  as  if  Christ  had  said  to  me, '  You  have  often 
wandered,  and  been  impatient  of  the  way,  by  which 
I  have  led  you;  but  what  do  you  think  of  it  now?' 
And  I  was  cut  to  the  heart,  when  I  looked  back  and 
saw  the  goodness  by  which  I  had  been  guided,  that 
I  could  ever  for  a  moment,  distrust  his  love?" 

To  a  minister  who  called  upon  him,  he  said,  "  That 
the  point  in  which  he  believed  ministers  failed  most, 
and  in  which  he  had  certainly  failed  most,  was  in 
doing  duty  professionally,  and  not  from  the  heart." 
He  said  also,  "  I  have  never  valued  as  I  ought  the 
doctrines  which  I  have  preached.  The  system  is 
great  and  glorious,  and  is  worthy  of  our  utmost  efforts 
to  promote  it.  The  interests  depending  will  justify 
us  in  our  strongest  measures.  In  every  respect  we 
may  embark  our  all  upon  it;  it  will  sustain  us." — "  I 
was  never  fit  to  say  a  word  to  a  sinner,  except  when 
I  had  a  broken  heart  myself;  when  I  was  subdued 
and  melted  into  penitence,  and  felt  just  as  if  I  had 
received  pardon  to  my  own  soul;  and  when  my 
heart  was  full  of  tenderness  and  pity."  He  seemed  to 
be  greatly  affected  with  a  view  of  the  grace  of  God, 
in  saving  lost  men;  and  especially,  that  it  should  be 
bestowed  on  one  so  ill-deserving  as  himself.  "0 
how  sovereign  !  0  how  sovereign !  Grace  is  the  only 
thing  that  can  make  us  like  God,  I  might  be  dragged 
through  heaven,  earth,  and  hell,  and  I  should  still  be 
the  same  sinful,  polluted  wretch,  unless  God  himself 
should  renew  and  cleanse  me." 

In  conversation  with  his  eldest  daughter,  being 
asked  whether  self-examination  was  not  a  very  diffi- 


266  THOUGHTS    ON 

cult  duty  for  young  Christians,  "Yes,"  he  replied, 
"and  for  old  ones,  too;  because  it  is  displeasing  to  the 
pride  of  the  heart,  because  wandering  thoughts  are 
then  most  apt  to  intrude,  and  because  of  thedeceitful- 
ness  of  the  heart.  When  a  Christian  first  looks  into 
his  heart,  he  sees  nothing  but  confusion — a  heap  of 
sins,  and  very  little  good,  mixed  up  together;  and  he 
knows  not  how  to  separate  them,  or  how  to  begin 
self-examination.  But  let  him  persevere  in  his  ef- 
forts, and  order  will  arise  out  of  confusion."  She 
mentioned  to  him  a  passage  in  the  life  of  Alleine, 
which  led  him  to  say,  "  We  never  confess  any  faults 
that  we  really  think  disgraceful.  We  complain  of 
our  hardness  of  heart,  stupidity,  &c.,  but  we  never 
confess  envy,  covetousness,  and  revenge,  or  anything 
that  we  suppose  will  lower  us  in  the  opinion  of 
others;  and  this  proves  that  we  do  not  feel  ashamed 
of  coldness  and  stupidity.  In  short,  when  young 
Christians  make  confessions,  unless  there  is  an  ob- 
vious call  for  it,  it  commonly  proceeds  from  one  of 
the  following  motives:  either  they  wish  to  be  thought 
very  humble,  and  to  possess  great  knowledge  of  their 
own  hearts;  or  they  think  it  is  a  fault  which  the  other 
has  perceived,  and  they  are  willing  to  have  the  credit 
of  having  discovered,  and  striven  against  it;  or  they 
confess  some  fault  from  which  they  are  remarkably 
free,  in  order  to  elicit  a  compliment." 

His  soUcitude  for  the  welfare  of  his  people  was  so 
great,  that  though  he  had  given  them  one  solemn  ad- 
dress, he  was  not  contented  with  that,  but  sent  for 
particular  classes  of  them.  On  one  day,  he  had  the 
young  men  of  the  congregation  assembled  around 
him,  when  he  delivered  to  them  a  peculiarly  solemn, 
tender,  and  appropriate  exhortation.  He  also  sent 
an  affectionate  valedictory  address  to  the  association 
of  ministers  with  whom  he  had  been  connected.  The 
substance  of  it  was,  "  A  hearty  assurance  of  the  ar- 
dent love  with  which  he  remembered  them  even  in 
death — an  exhortation  to  love  one  another  with  a 
pure    heart   fervently — to   love   their   work— to   be 


KELICI0U3    EXPERIENCE.  267 

diligent  in  it — to  expect  success,  and  to  bear  up  un- 
der discouragements — to  be  faithful  unto  death,  and 
to  look  for  their  reward  in  Heaven." 

While  speaking  of  the  rapturous  views  which  he 
had  of  Heaven,  he  was  asked  if  it  did  not  appear  iike 
the  clear  light  of  vision,  rather  than  that  of  faith.  He 
said,  "  I  don't  know — it  is  too  much  for  the  poor  eyes 
of  my  soul  to  bear — they  are  almost  blinded  with  the 
excessive  brightness.  All  I  want  is,  to  be  a  mirror, 
to  reflect  some  of  those  rays  to  those  around  me." — 
"  My  soul,  instead  of  growing  weaker  and  more  lan- 
guishing, as  my  body  does,  seems  to  be  endued  with 
an  angel's  energies,  and  to  be  ready  to  break  from 
the  body,  and  join  those  around  the  throne."  When 
asked,  whether  it  was  now  incredible  to  him,  that  the 
martyrs  should  rejoice  in  the  l^ames  and  on  the  rack, 
"  No,"  said  he,  "  I  can  easily  believe  it.  I  have  suf- 
fered twenty  times  as  much  as  I  could  in  being  burnt 
at  the  stake,  while  my  joy  in  God  so  abounded,  as  to 
render  my  sufferings  not  only  tolerable,  but  welcome. 
The  sufferings  of  this  present  time  are  not  worthy  to 
be  compared  with  the  glory  which  shall  be  revealed  in 
us."  At  another  time,  he  said,  "  God  is  now  literally 
my  all  in  all.  While  He  is  present  with  me,  no  event 
can  in  the  least  diminish  my  happiness;  and  were  the 
whole  world  at  my  feet,  trying  to  minister  to  my 
comfort,  they  could  not  add  one  drop  to  the  cup." 
"  It  seems  as  if  the  promise  to  wipe  away  all  tears,  is 
already  accomplished,  as  it  relates  to  tears  of  sorrow. 
I  have  no  tears  to  shed  now  but  tears  of  love,  and 
joy,  and  thankfulness."  Shortly  before  his  decease 
he  was  heard  to  break  forth  in  a  soliloquy,  of  which 
the  following  is  a  specimen: — "What  an  assemblage 
of  motives  to  holiness,  does  the  gospel  present?  I 
am  a  Christian;  what  then?  I  am  a  redeemed  sinner 
— a  pardoned  rebel — all  through  grace,  and  by  the 
most  wonderful  means  which  infinite  wisdom  could 
devise.  I  am  a  Christian;  what  then?  Why  I  am  a 
temple  of  God,  and  surely  I  ought  to  be  pure  and 
holy.  I  am  a  Christian;  what  then?  Why  I  am  a 
child  of  God,  and  ought  to  be  filled  with  filial  love 


268  THOtrGHTS    ON 

and  reverence,  joy,  and  gratitude.  I  am  a  Christian; 
what  then?  Why  I  am  a  disciple  of  Christ,  and  must 
imitate  him  who  was  meek  and  lowly  of  heart,  and 
pleased  not  himself  I  am  a  Christian. — Why  I  am 
an  heir  of  Heaven,  and  hastening  on  to  the  abodes  of 
the  blessed."  "  It  seems  as  if  my  soul  had  found  a 
pair  of  new  wings,  and  was  eager  to  try  them,  that  in 
her  fluttering  she  wonld  rend  the  fine  knit-work  of 
the  body  to  pieces."  He  had  the  choir  to  come  in  and 
sing  for  him,  and  chose  the  hymn,  "  JRise  my  soul," 
&c.  Soon  after  which  he  expired,  October  21,  1827. 
The  Rev.  Dr.  Samuel  Finley,  who  had  been  for 
some  time  President  of  New  Jersey  College,  upon 
being  informed  by  his  physicians  that  his  disease  was 
incurable,  expressed  his  entire  resignation,  and  ex- 
claimed, "  welcome,  Lord  Jesus."  On  the  Sabbath 
preceding  his  death.  Dr.  Clarkson,  one  of  his  physi- 
cians, told  him  that  he  observed  a  manifest  alteration, 
and  that  he  could  not  live  many  days;  he  said,  "  may 
the  Lord  bring  me  near  himself!  I  have  been  waiting 
with  a  Canaan  hunger  for  the  promised  land.  I  have 
often  wondered  that  God  suff'ered  me  to  live.  I  have 
more  wondered  that  he  ever  called  me  to  be  a  minister 
of  his  word.  He  has  often  afforded  me  much  strength 
which  I  have  abused.  He  has  returned  in  mercy. 
Oh,  how  faithful  are  the  promises  of  God!  0  that  I 
could  see  him  as  I  have  seen  him  before,  in  his  sanc- 
tuary. Although  I  have  as  earnestly  desired  death, 
as  the  hireling  pants  for  the  evening  shade,  yet  will  I 
wait  all  the  days  of  my  appointed  time.  I  have  often 
struggled  with  principalities  and  powers,  and  have 
been  brought  to  the  borders  of  despair.  Lord,  let  it 
suffice."  He  then  closed  his  eyes  and  sat  up  and 
prayed  fervently  that  God  would  show  him  his  glory, 
before  he  departed  hence;  that  he  would  enable  him 
to  endure  patiently  to  the  end — and,  particularly, 
that  he  might  be  kept  from  dishonouring  the  minis- 
try. He  then  resumed  his  discourse,  and  said,  "I 
can  truly  say  that  I  have  loved  the  service  of  God.  I 
know  not  in  what  language  to  speak  of  my  own  un- 
worthiness — I  have  been  undutiful — 1  have  honestly 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  269 

endeavoured  to  act  for  God,  but  with  much  weakness 
and  corruption."  Then  lying  down  again,  he  said, 
"a  Christian's  death  is  the  best  part  of  liis  experience. 
The  Lord  has  made  provision  for  the  whole  way;  pro- 
vision for  the  soul,  and  provision  for  the  body.  The 
Lord  has  given  me  many  souls,  as  the  crowns  of  my 
rejoicing.  Blessed  be  God — eternal  rest  is  at  hand. 
Eternity  is  but  long  enough  to  enjoy  my  God.  This, 
this  has  animated  me  in  my  severest  studies.  I  was 
ashamed  to  take  rest  here.  Oh,  that  I  could  be  filled 
with  the  fulness  of  God!  that  fulness  which  fills  hea- 
ven." Being  asked  whether  he  would  choose  to  live 
or  die,  he  said,  'Mo  die,  though  I  cannot  but  feel  the 
same  strait  that  Paul  did  when  he  knew  not  which  to 
choose.  ^  For  me  to  live,  is  Christ — but  to  die,  is 
gairi.^  But  should  God,  by  a  miracle,  prolong  my 
life,  I  would  still  continue  to  serve  him.  His  service 
has  been  sweet  to  me.  I  have  loved  it  much.  I 
have  tried  my  Master's  yoke,  and  will  never  shrink 
my  neck  from  it.  His  yoke  is  easy,  and  his  burden 
is  light!"  One  said  to  him,  "■  you  are  more  cheerful 
and  vigorous,  sir."  "  Yes,  I  rise  or  fall,  as  eternal 
life  seems  nearer  or  further  off."  It  being  remarked 
that  he  always  used  the  appellation,  "dear  Lord,"  in 
his  prayers,  he  answered,  "  0,  He  is  very  dear!  very 
precious,  indeed.  How  pretty  is  it  for  a  minister  to 
die  on  the  Sabbath!  I  expect  to  spend  the  remainder 
of  this  Sabbath  in  heaven."  One  said,  "  you  will 
soon  join  the  blessed  society  of  heaven — you  will  for 
ever  hold  converse  with  Abraham,  Isaac,  and  Jacob, 
and  with  the  spirits  of  the  just  made  perfect — with 
old  friends,  and  many  old  fashioned  people."  "  Yes 
sir,"  he  replied,  with  a  smile,  "  but  they  are  a  most 
polite  people  now."  He  expressed  great  gratitude 
to  his  friends  around  him,  and  said,  "  may  the  Lord 
repay  you  for  your  tenderness  to  me!  may  he  bless 
you  abundantly,  not  only  with  temporal,  but  with 
spiritual  blessings."  Turning  to  his  wife,  he  said, 
"  my  dear,  I  expect  to  see  you  shortly  in  glory." 
Seeing  a  member  of  the  second  Presbyterian  Church 
present,  he  said,  "  I  have  often  preached  and  prayed 

18 


270  THOUGHTS    ON 

among  you,  my  dear  sir,  and  the  doctrines  I  preached 
are  now  my  support,  and,  blessed  be  God,  they  are 
without  a  flaw.  May  the  Lord  bless  and  preserve 
your  church!  He  designs  good  for  it  yet,  I  trust." 
To  a  person  from  Princeton  he  said,  "give  my  love 
to  the  people  of  Princeton,  and  tell  them  that  lam 
going  to  die,  and  that  I  am  not  afraid  to  die." 

He  would  sometimes  cry  out,  "  the  Lord  Jesus  will 
take  care  of  his  cause  in  the  world."  Upon  waking, 
next  morning,  he  exclaimed,  "0,  what  a  disappoint- 
ment I  have  met  with — 1  expected  this  morning  to 
have  been  in  heaven."  On  account  of  his  extreme 
weakness,  he  was  unable  to  speak  much  during  the 
day,  but  all  that  he  said  was  in  the  language  of 
triumph.  Next  morning,  with  a  pleasing  smile  on 
his  countenance,  he  cried  out,  "0  1  shall  triumph 
over  every  foe — the  Lord  hath  given  me  the  victory. 
Now  I  know  that  it  is  impossible  that  faith  should 
not  triumph  over  earth  and  hell — I  exult — I  triumph. 
0,  that  I  could  see  untainted  purity!  I  think  I  have 
nothing  to  do  but  die — yet,  perhaps,  I  have — Lord 
show  me  my  task."  He  then  said,  "  Lord  Jesus,  into 
thy  hands  I  commit  my  spirit — I  do  it  with  confidence 
— I  do  it  with  full  assurance.  I  know  that  thou  wilt 
keep  that  which  T  have  committed  to  thee.  I  have 
been  dreaming  too  fast  of  the  time  of  my  departure, 
for  I  find  it  does  not  yet  come — but  the  Lord  is  faith- 
ful, and  will  not  tarry  beyond  the  appointed  time." 

In  the  afternoon,  the  Rev.  Mr.  Spencer  came  to 
see  him,  and  said,  "  I  have  come,  dear  sir,  to  see  you 
confirm  by  facts,  the  gospel  you  have  been  preach- 
ing. Pray  sir,  how  do  you  feel?"  To  which  he  re- 
plied, "  Full  of  triumph — I  triumph  through  Christ. 
Nothing  clips  my  wings  but  the  thoughts  of  my  dis- 
solution being  prolonged — 0  that  it  were  to  night! 
My  very  soul  thirsts  for  eternal  rest."  Mr.  Spencer 
asked  him  what  he  saw  in  eternity  to  excite  such 
vehement  desires  in  iiis  soul.  He  said,  "  I  see  the 
eternal  love  and  goodness  of  God.  I  see  the  fulness 
of  the  Mediator.  I  see  the  love  of  Jesus.  0  to  be 
dissolved  and  to  be  with  him!  I  long  to  be  clothed 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  271 

with  the  complete  righteousness  of  Christ."  He 
then  requested  Mr.  Spencer  to  pray  with  him  before 
they  parted,  and  said,  "I  have  gained  the  victory 
over  the  devil;  pray  to  God  to  preserve  me  from  evil, 
to  keep  me  from  evil  in  this  critical  hour;  and  to  sup- 
port me  with  his  presence  through  the  valley  of  the 
shadow  of  death." 

He  spent  the  remainder  of  the  day,  in  taking  an 
affectionate  and  solemn  leave  of  his  friends,  and  ex- 
horting such  of  his  children  as  were  with  him. 

On  the  next  day,  July  16,  the  conflict  was  termi- 
nated. He  was  no  longer  able  to  speak,  but  a  friend 
having  desired  him  to  give  a  token  by  which  his 
friends  might  know,  whether  he  still  continued  to 
triumph,  he  lifted  up  his  hand,  and  uttered  the  word 
"yes."  About  nine  o'clock,  he  fell  into  a  sound 
sleep,  and  appeared  much  more  free  from  pain  than 
he  had  been  for  many  days  before.  He  continued  to 
sleep,  without  changing  his  position,  till  about  one 
o'clock,  when  he  expired,  without  a  groan  or  a  sigh. 
During  his  whole  sickness  he  was  never  heard  to 
utter  a  repining  word;  and  in  taking  leave  of  his 
dearest  friends,  he  was  never  seen  to  shed  a  tear,  or 
exhibit  any  sign  of  sorrow. 

His  remains  were  interred  in  the  Second  Presby- 
terian Church,  on  the  corner  of  Mulberry  or  Arch 
and  Third  streets;  by  the  side  of  his  dear  friend  the 
Rev.  Gilbert  Tennent.  From  this  resting  place,  their 
dust  and  bones  were  removed  to  the  burying  ground 
on  Arch  street,  when  the  church  was  removed. 
Mrs.  Finley  survived  her  husband  many  years,  the 
latter  part  of  which  time  she  was  entirely  blind;  but 
bore  the  affliction  with  meek  and  cheerful  submission. 


CHAPTER  XX. 

Remarks  on  Death-bed  Exercises,  with  several  illustrative  examples. 

The  cases  of  religious  experience,  at  the  close  of  life, 
which  have   been  presented  to  the  reader,  furnish 


272 


THOUGHTS    ON 


much  reason  for  encouragement  and  hope  to  the  real 
Christian.  We  learn  from  them,  that  death,  however 
terrible  to  nature,  may  be  completely  divested  of  its 
terrors;  that  the  Christian  religion  when  it  has  been 
cordially  embraced,  has  power  to  sustain  the  soul  in 
the  last  conflict;  that  the  supplies  of  grace  may  be  so 
rich  and  abundant,  that  the  bed  of  death  may  be  the 
happiest  situation  which  the  child  of  God  ever  occu- 
pied, and  his  last  hours  the  most  comfortable  of  his 
whole  life;  that  it  is  possible  for  such  a  flood  of  divine 
consolation  to  be  poured  into  the  soul,  that  the  pains 
of  the  body  are  scarcely  felt;  by  which  we  may  un- 
derstand how  it  was  that  the  martyrs  could  rejoice  in 
the  midst  of  flames,  and  on  the  rack.  We  learn,  also, 
that  these  blessed  communications  of  the  joy  of  the 
Holy  Ghost,  are  derived  to  the  soul,  through  the 
promises  of  God;  and  that  all  that  is  necessary  to  fill 
it  with  these  divine  consolations,  is  a  firm  and  lively 
faith.  There  is,  in  all  these  extatic  and  triumphant 
feelings,  nothing  miraculous;  nothing  different  from 
the  common  mode  of  God's  dealing  with  his  people, 
except  in  the  degree.  The  things  of  eternity  are 
more  clearly  apprehended;  confidence  in  the  pro- 
mises is  more  unshaken;  submission  to  the  will  of 
God  is  more  unreserved,  and  gratitude  for  iiis  good- 
ness more  fervent.  Another  thing  suggested  by  such 
happy  death-bed  exercises,  is,  that  the  dying  saint 
never  entertained  a  more  humble  sense  of  his  own 
unworthiness,  than  during  this  season  of  the  anticipa- 
tion of  the  joys  of  heaven.  These  experiences,  there- 
fore, furnish  strong  evidence  of  the  truth  of  the  doc- 
trines of  grace;  indeed,  free  grace  is  the  predominant 
theme  in  the  minds  of  these  highly  favoured  servants 
of  God.  It  is  also  highly  worthy  of  our  marked  at- 
tention, that  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  is  precious  to 
the  dying  believer,  in  proportion  as  his  consolations 
abound.  He  attributes  all  that  he  enjoys,  or  hopes 
for,  to  this  blessed  Redeemer.  And  He  who  loved 
him,  and  died  for  him,  is  most  faithful  to  his  gracious 
promises,  at  this  trying  moment.  Now,  when  heart 
and  flesh  fail,  He  will  be  the  strength  of  their  hearts. 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE,  273 

Now,  he  enables  them  to  say,  with  confidence, 
"Though  I  walk  through  the  valley  and  shadow  of 
death,  I  will  fear  no  evil,  for  thou  art  with  me;  thy 
rod  and  staff  comfort  me."  Death  is,  indeed,  a  for- 
midable enemy  when  armed  with  his  envenomed 
sting;  but  when  this  sting  is  extracted,  death  is  harm- 
less; death  comes  as  a  friend  to  release  us  from  a 
body  of  sin  and  misery;  "The  sting  of  death  is  sin, 
and  the  strength  of  sin  is  the  law,"  but  when  the  law 
has  received  a  full  satisfaction,  and  all  sin  is  pardoned 
through  the  blood  of  Christ,  the  sting  exists  no  longer. 
There  is  no  condemnation  to  them  who  are  in  Christ 
Jesus.  It  is  God  that  justifieth,  who  is  he  that  con- 
demneth?  It  is  Christ  that  died;  yea,  rather  who  is 
risen  again.  "  Precious  in  the  sight  of  God  is  the 
death  of  his  saints."  The  meek  shall  sing  even  on 
a  dying  bed.  Here,  often,  the  timid  grow  bold;  the 
feeble,  strong.  Here  doubts  and  fears  which  ha- 
rassed the  weary  pilgrim,  all  tlie  journej''  through, 
are  dismissed  for  ever;  and  that  joyful  assurance  is 
realized,  which  had  long  been  ardently  desired  and 
hoped  for.  Where  else,  but  among  real  Christians,  do 
we  witness  such  happy  scenes,  at  the  near  approach 
of  death?  Can  the  infidel  point  to  any  of  his  associ- 
ates, who  could  thus  exult  in  the  prospect  of  death? 
Can  the  man  of  the  world  exhibit  any  thing  like  this? 
Alas!  they  are  driven  away  from  all  they  love:  they 
may  die  stupidly;  they  may  be  under  an  awful,  blind- 
ing delusion;  but  the  positive  joys  of  the  believer, 
they  cannot  experience.  Now,  as  we  must  all  die, 
and  that  soon,  ought  we  not  to  take  all  pains,  and 
use  all  possible  diligence,  to  be  ready  to  die  the  death 
of  the  righteous?  When  that  awful  hour  shall  arrive, 
worldly  honours,  and  worldly  possessions,  will  be 
nothing  to  lis.  Royal  sceptres  and  crowns,  and 
treasures,  will  be  utterly  unavailing;  but  the  humble 
believer,  however  racked  with  pain  of  body,  is  safe 
in  the  hands  of  a  kind  Redeemer,  who  having  him- 
self experienced  the  pangs  of  death,  knows  how  to 
sympathize  with  and  succour  his  beloved  disciples, 
when  they  are  called  to  this  last  trial.     He  will  not 


274  THOUGHTS    ON 

then  forsake  those  whom  he  has  supported  through 
their  whole  pilgrimage.  His  everlasting  arms  of  love 
and  faithfulness  will  be  placed  underneath  them,  and 
he  will  bear  them  as  on  eagles'  wings.  Truly  then, 
for  them  to  die,  is  gain !  They  rest  from  their  labours, 
exchange  darkness,  sin,  and  sorrow,  for  perfect  light, 
perfect  purity,  and  perfect  felicity.  Lift  up  your 
heads,  then,  ye  servants  of  God,  for  the  day  of  your  re- 
demption draweth  nigh.  The  night  is  far  spent,  the 
day  is  at  hand.  With  some  of  us,  it  must  be  near 
the  dawn.  The  darkness  will  soon  be  past  for  ever. 
Let  us  then  rejoice  in  the  hope  of  the  glory  of  God, 
and  wait  till  our  salvation  cometh.  Now  is  our  sal- 
vation nearer  than  when  we  believed. 

But,  it  may  be  asked,  do  all  real  Christians  die  in 
such  joy  and  triumph,  as  those  whose  experience  has 
been  related?  No;  this  is  not  pretended.  Some,  no 
doubt,  die  under  a  cloud,  and  go  out  of  the  world  in 
distressing  doubt  respecting  their  eternal  destiny.  It 
is  to  guard  against  such  an  event,  that  we  would  ex- 
hort all  professors  of  religion,  and  include  ourselves 
in  the  number,  to  begin  in  time  to  make  preparation 
for  death.  Dear  brethren,  let  us  look  well  to  the 
foundation  of  our  hope;  we  cannot  bestow  too  much 
pains  and  diligence  in  making  our  calling  and  elec- 
tion sure.  We  shall  never  regret,  on  a  death-bed, 
that  we  were  too  much  concerned  to  secure  the  sal- 
vation of  our  souls;  or,  that  we  were  too  careful  in 
making  preparation  for  another  world.  Let  us  re- 
member that  our  time  on  earth  is  short,  and  that 
whatever  is  done,  must  be  done  quickly.  There  will 
be  no  opportunity  of  coming  back  to  rectify  what  has 
been  done  amiss,  or  to  supply  what  is  wanting. 
"  Now  is  the  accepted  time,  now  is  the  day  of  salva- 
tion." Let  us  work  while  it  is  day,  knowing  that  the 
dark  night  cometh  when  no  man  can  work.  Let  us 
then  awake  to  righteousness.  Let  us  watch  and  be 
sober.  Let  us  put  on  the  armour  of  light,  and  es- 
pecially let  us  see  to  it,  that  we  have  on  the  wedding 
garment;  else  we  shall  never  find  admittance  to  the 
marriage-supper  of  the  Lamb.    The  only  robe  which 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  275 

can  bear  the  scrutinizing  inspection  of  the  King,  is 
the  perfect  and  spotless  robe  of  Christ's  imputed 
righteousness.  This  will  render  us  acceptable  in  the 
Beloved.  With  this,  we  must  put  on  the  robe  of  in- 
herent righteousness;  for  "  without  holiness,  no  man 
shall  see  the  Lord;"  and  these  two,  though  distinct, 
are  never  separated.  Only,  the  latter  is  never  per- 
fect until  we  come  to  the  end  of  our  course;  and 
this  single  consideration  should  reconcile  us  to  the 
thoughts  of  death;  that  then  we  shall  be  freed  from 
all  sin.  0  how  blessed  is  that  state,  where  we  shall 
see  no  more  darkly  through  a  glass,  but  face  to  face; 
where  we  shall  know  no  more  in  part,  but  as  we  are 
known.  0  bright  and  delightful  vision  of  the  glory 
of  God  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ!  Surely  this  is 
worth  dying  for. 

But  it  may  be  asked,  is  there  not  evidence  of  too 
much  excitement,  in  the  experiences  which  have  been 
narrated  ?  May  not  a  part  at  least  of  the  elevated  and 
exhilarated  feelings  be  the  effect  of  an  accelerated  cir- 
culation ?  People  who  die  of  pulmonary  consumption 
are  apt  to  be  sanguine,  and  to  indulge  buoyant  hopes 
even  in  regard  to  recovery.  In  answer,  I  would  say, 
that  this  may  be  admitted  to  have  some  effect  in  in- 
creasing the  degree  of  excitement;  but  it  never  can 
account  for  the  bright  views  and  unspeakable  joys 
which  some  experience.  And  the  truth  is,  we  are 
poor  judges  of  the  degree  of  elevated  excitement, 
which  the  sense  of  God's  love  will  produce. 

It  must  be  confessed,  that  while  we  may  admire 
and  breathe  after  such  an  elevated  and  triumphant 
state  of  mind, as  was  experienced  by  those  of  whom 
some  account  has  been  given;  yet  we  cannot  so  read- 
ily sympathize  with  such  high  emotions,  as  with  a 
more  calm  and  deliberate  frame  of  spirit.  Indeed,  it 
is  here  as  in  health,  when  we  see  persons  much  ex- 
cited in  regard  to  religion,  or  any  thing  else,  we  do 
not  place  such  entire  confidence  in  what  they  utter, 
as  when  the  same  persons  calmly  and  soberly  express 
their  sentiments.  The  reason  is,  that  in  all  great  ex- 
citements the  imagination  and  feelings  predominate 


276  THOUGHTS    ON 

over  the  judgment;  and  experience  teaches  that  in 
all  such  cases  there  is  a  tendency  to  exaggeration, 
and  to  the  use  of  strong  expressions;  and  it  cannot 
be  doubted  that,  in  some  cases,  the  religious  exulta- 
tion experienced  is  somewhat  delirious.  The  ner- 
vous system  loses  its  tone,  and  although  its  agitations 
are  violent,  they  are  somewhat  irregular  and  exces- 
sive, so  as  to  produce  an  irrepressible  thrilling  through 
the  soul.  It  is  not  wonderful,  that  while  the  myste- 
rious connexion  between  soul  and  body  is  coming  to 
an  end,  there  should  be  something  in  the  emotions 
new,  and  in  the  looks,  tones,  and  gestures,  out  of  the 
common  way.  This  does  not  alter  or  vitiate  the 
nature  of  the  pious  exercises  of  the  soul,  though  it 
may  modify  them,  and  give  them  a  peculiar  aspect 
and  expression.  If  any  person  chooses  to  suppose, 
that  in  some  of  the  cases  specified,  while  faith  was 
triumphant,  and  hope  full  of  assurance,  that  there 
might  be  superadded  an  exhilaration  arising  out  of 
the  peculiar  state  of  the  body,  he  will  not  have  me 
objecting.  The  last  exercises  of  that  useful  and  de- 
voted man,  Jeremiah  Evarts,  were  very  remarkable 
for  the  degree  of  powerful  excitement  manifested; 
and  the  more  remarkable,  because  his  mind  was 
highly  intellectual,  and  very  little  subject  to  excite- 
ment, in  common.  Still  it  was  well  known  to  those 
intimate  with  him,  that  when  he  was  aroused,  his 
feelings  were  very  strong. 

Often,  officious  friends  and  physicians  are  ex- 
tremely averse  to  have  any  thing  said  to  their  friends, 
on  the  subject  of  religion,  when  they  are  sick,  lest  it 
should  disturb  their  minds,  and  so  increase  the  vio- 
lence of  the  disease.  I  would  not,  it  is  true,  admit 
every  loquacious  old  man  or  woman,  into  the  chamber 
of  a  friend  dangerously  ill,  but  a  discreet  and  pious 
counsellor  is  of  great  value  at  such  a  time.  If  the 
patient  is  hopefully  pious,  none  can  doubt  the  propri- 
ety and  comfort  of  aiding  such  by  holding  forth  to 
their  views  the  rich  promises  of  a  faithful  God.  But 
even  when  the  character  of  the  sick  is  different,  it 
often  gives  relief  to  have  an  opportunity  of  conversa- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  277 

tion  with  a  pious  friend  or  minister.  Anxious  feel- 
ings, pent  up  in  the  soul  and  finding  no  vent,  are  far 
more  injurious  than  a  free  expression  of  them;  and  if 
the  person  is  in  danger  of  death,  will  you,  can  you,  be 
guilty  of  the  cruelty  of  debarring  them  from  the  only 
opportunity  of  salvation,  which  they  may  ever  have? 
If  you  do,  their  blood  will  be  found  in  your  skirts. 
To  show  how  erroneous  the  opinion  is,  that  religious 
conversation  tends  to  injure  the  sick  by  increasing  his 
disease,  I  will  relate  a  fact  which  fell  under  my  own 
observation. 

A  young  gentleman  of  fortune  and  liberal  educa- 
tion, had  been  for  some  months  thinking  seriously 
about  his  soul's  salvation;  but  the  work  had  not 
come  to  any  maturity,  when  by  making  too  great  an 
exertion  of  his  bodily  strength,  he  ruptured  a  large 
blood  vessel  in  the  lungs,  and  was  brought  to  death's 
door;  not  being  able  to  speak  above  a  low  whisper. 
Having  been  a  pupil  of  mine,  I  was  permitted  to  see 
him,  and  upon  asking  the  state  of  his  mind,  he  whis- 
pered in  my  ear,  that  he  was  overwhelmed  with  the 
most  awful  darkness  and  terror — not  one  ray  of  light 
dawned  upon  his  miserable  soul.  I  prayed  with  him 
and  presented  to  him  a  few  gospel  invitations  and 
promises,  and  left  him,  never  expecting  to  see  him 
alive.  Next  day  I  called,  the  physician  coming  out 
of  his  room,  informed  me,  that  while  they  were  wait- 
ing for  his  last  breath,  a  favourable  change  seemed 
unexpectedly  to  have  taken  place,  and  that  he  had 
revived  a  little.  When  I  approached  his  bed,  he 
looked  joyfully  in  my  face,  pressed  my  hand,  and  said, 
"AH  is  well — I  have  found  peace — this  morning, 
about  the  dawn,  I  had  the  most  delightful  view  of 
Christ,  and  of  his  ability  and  willingness  to  save  me." 
And  upon  inquiry,  I  found,  that  that  was  the  moment 
when  the  favourable  change  took  place  in  his  sym.p- 
toms.  Faith  and  joy  accomplished  what  no  medi- 
cine could,  and  acted  as  a  reviving  cordial  to  liis  dying 
body.  He  so  far  recovered  as  to  live  a  number  of 
years  afterwards;  though  his  lungs  were  never  sound; 
and  his  consistent  walk  and  conversation  attested  the 


278 


THOUGHTS    ON 


reality  of  his  change.  He  soon  joined  himself  to  the 
communion  of  the  church,  and  died  in  her  communion. 

While  spending  a  summer  in  Germantown,  near 
Philadelphia,  I  was  sent  for  to  visit  a  young  man, 
whom  I  had  often  seen.  He  did  not  helong  to  my 
charge,  but  two  pious  ladies  who  did,  were  his  friends, 
and  had  come  out  of  the  city  to  nurse  him.  He  had 
a  hemorrhage  of  the  lungs,  which  left  little  room  to 
hope  for  recovery.  As  he  was  a  mild  and  moral 
man,  I  did  not  know,  but  that  he  might  be  a  professor 
of  religion;  but  upon  asking  him  a  question  respecting 
his  hope,  he  frankly  told  me  that  he  had  been  skepti- 
cal for  many  years,  and  had  no  belief  that  the  gospel 
was  divine.  I  never  felt  more  at  a  loss.  The  man 
was  too  weak  to  attend  to  argument,  and  if  I  could 
by  reasoning  convince  him  of  his  error,  it  would  not 
be  a  saving  faith,  and  he  must  die  before  this  process 
could  be  gone  through.  I  found  that  his  infidelity 
afforded  him  no  comfort  in  a  dying  hour,  and  that  he 
wished  he  could  believe  in  Christ.  It  occurred  to  me 
that  the  word  of  God  contained  light  and  energy  in 
itself,  and  that  if  he  could  not  attend  to  the  external 
evidences,  the  beams  of  truth  might  shine  in  upon  his 
soul,  and  thus  generate  a  saving  faith  by  the  efficient 
aid  of  the  Spirit.  After  pointing  out  the  probable 
sources  of  his  skepticism,  I  requested  the  ladies  who 
were  attending  on  him,  to  read  certain  portions  of  the 
gospel  to  him,  as  he  could  bear  it — for  he  was  very 
low.  This  was  done;  and  next  day,  when  I  came 
to  see  him,  he  declared  that  his  doubts  were  all  scat- 
tered, and  that  he  had  hope  in  Christ.  Afterwards, 
he  was  never  able  to  converse ;  but  as  far  as  is  known 
died  in  hope. 

I  never  saw  any  one  approach  death  so  deliber- 
ately and  composedly,  as  the  late  Rev.  Robert  Ray, 
pastor  of  the  church  of  Freehold,  in  New  Jersey.  He 
had  spent  a  winter  at  St.  Augustine,  with  the  hope  of 
restoring  his  health,  but  came  home  more  diseased 
than  before  he  went.  His  lungs  were  deeply  affected, 
and  he  foresaw  that  his  end  was  approaching.  But 
as  long  as  he  was  able  to  speak,  he  caused  himself  to 


KELIGIOUS    EXPERIEXCE.  279 

be  carried  to  the  chnrcli  and  to  be  assisted  into  the  pul- 
pit, where  he  would  preach  and  exhort  until  his  breath 
failed,  when  he  would  pant  as  if  about  to  die,  and 
then  be  conveyed  home  as  he  came.  This  was  done 
not  once  or  twice,  but  for  many  weeks;  for  he  said,  as 
he  must  die,  he  might  as  well  die  preaching;  and  he 
felt  a  strong  desire  to  be  the  means  of  saving  the  peo- 
ple committed  to  his  charge;  and  he  hoped  that  a 
voice  of  affectionate  warning  from  the  grave  might 
have  tiie  effect  of  awakening  some  of  them.  As  he 
suffered  but  little  acute  pain,  he  appeared  until  his 
dying  day,  as  calm  and  cheerful,  as  a  man  long  absent 
from  home,  would  when  the  time  came  to  return  to 
his  friends.  He  conversed  as  familiarly  and  com- 
posedly about  his  approaching  change,  as  if  there  was 
nothing  formidable  in  it.  Indeed,  it  had  no  terrors 
for  him.  Even  when  death  was  upon  him,  having 
observed  some  of  his  neighbours  coming  in,  he  said, 
"  Well,  you  have  come  to  see  your  pastor  die."  He 
then  remarked,  that  his  feelings  were  very  peculiar, 
such  as  he  never  experienced  before;  and  without 
any  perturbation  of  mind  or  bodily  agony,  he  gently 
fell  asleep. 

Wishing,  in  these  experiences  of  dying  saints  to 
give  as  great  a  variety  as  is  compatible  with  my 
limits,  I  will  now  extract  an  account  of  the  last  illness 
of  Mrs.  Susan  Huntington,  of  Boston,  taken  down  by 
her  pastor,  the  Rev.  Dr.  Wisner,  after  his  visits  to  her 
sick  room. 

Tuesday,  October  28,  1823.  Called  on  Mrs.  Hunt- 
ington about  half  past  nine  in  the  morning.  Found 
that  she  had  failed  considerably  since  my  last  visit. 
To  an  inquiry  respecting  the  state  of  her  mind,  she 
said,  "  I  think  I  have  felt  more  of  the  presence  of 
Christ,  than  when  I  saw  you  last.  I  have  not  had 
those  strong  views  and  joyful  feelings,  with  which  I 
have  sometimes  been  favoured.  My  mind  is  weak; 
I  caimot  direct  and  fix  my  thoughts  as  I  once  could. 
But  I  think  I  have  fled  for  refuge  to  lay  hold  on  the 
hope  set  before  me  in  the  precious  gospel;  and  He 
who  is  the  foundation  of  that  hope  will  never  forsake 


280 


THOUGHTS    ON 


me."  Then,  with  a  most  interesting  expression  of 
countenance,  she  said,  "I  trust  we  shall  meet  in 
Heaven,  and  spend  an  eternity  in  praising  our  dear 
Redeemer."  "I  feel,"  said  she,  "  that  I  have  been 
very,  very  unfaithful;  but  He  is  merciful — his  blood 
cleanseth  from  all  sin:  and  I  trust  he  has  blotted  out 
my  sins  from  the  book  of  his  remembrance.  0  what 
should  we  do  without  Christ?"  "As  much  debtors 
to  free  grace  at  the  end  of  our  course  as  at  the  be- 
ginning," observed  her  pastor.  "  More,  far  more," 
she  replied,  "  for  we  sin  against  greater  light  and 
love,  after  we  are  born  again.  Yes,  it  is  all  free 
grace — if  it  were  not,  what  would  become  of  me?" 
It  was  answered,  "  You  would  have  perished — justly 
perished."  "  Yes,"  she  replied,  "  what  a  glorious 
plan,  what  a  precious  Saviour!  0  that  I  could  love 
him  more!  Pray  that  I  may  love  and  glorify  him 
for  ever!" 

On  Friday,  October  31,  found  her  more  comforta- 
ble. She  said,  "  My  mind  has  generally  been  in  a 
peaceful  frame  since  I  saw  you;  but  I  want  to  real- 
ize the  presence  and  preciousness  of  Christ,  more  dis- 
tinctly and  constantly  than  my  great  weakness  per- 
mits me  to  do."  In  answer  to  some  remarks  on  the 
covenant  of  grace,  she  said,  "  Glorious  covenant!  pre- 
cious promises  !  I  have  given  myself  and  body  to 
Him,  in  whom  they  are  yea  and  amen,  and  I  do  not 
fear;  I  desire  him  to  do  with  me  as  it  shall  please 
him." 

Tuesday,  November  3.  To  the  usual  inquiry,  she 
replied,  "Mrs.  Graham  accurately  describes  my  feel- 
ings, when  she  says,  '  Thus  far  the  Lord  hath  brought 
me  through  the  wilderness,  bearing,  chastising,  for- 
giving, restoring.  I  am  near  to  Jordan's  flood.  May 
my  blessed  High  Priest  and  ark  of  the  covenant,  lead 
on  my  staggering  steps,  the  little  further  I  have  to 
go.'"  And  on  December  4,  she  breathed  her  last,  in 
the  faith  and  hope  of  the  gospel. 

As  in  the  preceding  account  of  Mrs.  Huntington, 
mention  is  made  of  Mrs.  Graham,  of  New  York,  it 
may  be  in  place  to  give  a  few  particulars  of  this  wise 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  281 

woman,  as  she  may  properly  be  called,  during  her 
last  illness.  Foreseeing  that  her  end  was  near,  she 
sent  for  Mrs.  Clirystie,  a  dear  friend,  between  whom 
and  herself  an  agreement  had  been  made,  that  which- 
ever was  first  sunmioned  away,  should  be  attended, 
in  her  last  moments,  by  the  other.  To  her  son-in- 
law,  Mr.  Bethune,  whom  she  saw  standing  by,  she 
said,  "  My  dear,  dear  son,  I  am  going  to  leave  you; 
I  am  going  to  my  Saviour."  He  answered,  "  I  know 
that  when  you  do  go  from  us,  it  will  be  to  the  Saviour; 
but,  my  dear  mother,  it  may  not  be  the  Lord's  time 
now  to  call  you  to  himself."  "  Yes,"  said  she,  "now 
is  the  time;  and  Oh!  I  could  weep  for  sin."  Her 
words  were  accompanied  with  her  tears.  "Have  you 
any  doubts,  then,  my  dear  friend,"  asked  Mrs.  Chrys- 
tie.  "  0  no,"  replied  she,  "  I  have  no  more  doubt 
of  going  to  my  Saviour,  than  if  I  were  already  in 
his  arms.  My  guilt  is  all  transferred.  He  has  can- 
celled all  my  debt;  yet  I  could  weep  for  sins  against 
so  good  a  God.  It  seems  to  me  there  must  be  weep- 
ing even  in  Heaven."  When  her  dear  friend  and 
pastor.  Dr.  Mason,  came  to  see  her,  they  had  a  very 
interesting  interview — at  the  close  of  which,  he  in- 
quired if  there  was  any  thing,  in  particular,  for  which 
he  should  pray.  She  said,  "  The  Lord  will  direct," 
and  immediately  offered  up  this  short  prayer:  "  Lord, 
direct  thy  servant  in  prayer."  During  her  sickness, 
she  was  for  much  of  the  time  lethargic,  and  it  was 
often  difficult  to  arouse  her.  But  when  at  any  time 
waked  up  for  a  moment,  she  would  utter  some  sweet 
word — such  as  "  peace,"  indicating  the  happy  state 
of  her  mind.  Dr.  Mason,  in  his  funeral  sermon, 
said,  "This  may  truly  be  called  falling  asleep  in 
Jesus."  All  terror  seemed  to  be  removed,  and  her 
countenance  was  placid,  and  looked  younger  than  be- 
fore her  illness.  At  a  quarter  past  12  o'clock,  on  the 
27th  of  July,  1814,  without  a  struggle  or  a  groan,  her 
spirit  winged  its  flight  from  a  mansion  of  clay  to  the 
realms  of  glory. 


282 


THOUGHTS     ON 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

Death-bed  exercises  of  Mr.  Baxter,  and  the  Rev.  Thomas  Scott,  D.  D. 

Dr.  Bates,  in  his  funeral  sermon,  occasioned  by  the 
death  of  Mr.  Baxter,  has  given  us  an  interesting  ac- 
count of  his  last  days,  some  part  of  which  I  will 
extract,  as  furnishing  an  example,  not  of  a  highly 
excited  state  of  feeling,  but  of  a  truly  pious,  calm, 
submissive  frame  of  mind.  Few  persons,  who  ever 
lived,  have  given  more  convincing  evidence  of  fervent 
piety,  throughout  a  long  life,  than  this  devoted  servant 
of  God.  His  end  corresponded  with  the  tenor  of  his 
life,  and  with  the  religion  which  he  inculcated  in  his 
sermons. 

"He  continued,"  says  Dr.  Bates,  "to  preach  so 
long,  notwithstanding  his  wasted  and  languishing 
body,  that  the  last  time,  he  almost  died  in  the  pulpit. 
It  would  doubtless  have  been  his  joy  to  be  trans- 
figured in  the  mount.  Not  long  after  he  felt  the 
approaches  of  death,  and  was  confined  to  his  sick 
bed.  Death  reveals  the  secrets  of  the  heart:  then 
words  are  spoken  with  most  feeling  and  least  aifec- 
tation.  This  excellent  saint  was  the  same  in  his  life 
and  his  death:  his  last  hours  were  spent  in  preparing 
others  and  himself  to  appear  before  God.  He  said  to 
his  friends,  who  came  to  see  him, '  Ye  come  hither  to 
learn  to  die,  I  am  not  the  only  person  that  must  go 
this  way.  I  can  assure  you,  that  your  whole  life,  be 
it  ever  so  long,  is  little  enough  to  prepare  for  death. 
Have  a  care  of  this  vain,  deceitful  world,  and  the 
lusts  of  the  flesh.  Be  sure  you  choose  God  for  your 
portion,  heaven  for  your  home,  God's  glory  for  your 
end,  and  his  word  for  your  rule,  and  then  you  need 
never  fear,  but  we  shall  meet  in  comfort.'  Never 
was  penitent  sinner  more  humble,  never  was  a  sin- 
cere believer  more  calm  and  comfortable.  He  ac- 
knowledged himself  to  be  the  vilest  dunghill  worm 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  283 

(it  was  his  usual  expression)  that  ever  went  to  hea- 
ven. He  admired  the  divine  condescension  to  us, 
often  saying,  'Lord,  what  is  man!  what  am  I  a 
vile  worm,  to  the  great  God.'  Many  times  he  prayed 
'  God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner,'  and  thanked  God 
that  this  was  left  on  record,  in  the  gospel,  as  an  effec- 
tual prayer.  He  said, '  God  may  justly  condemn  me 
for  the  best  duty  I  ever  performed.  All  my  hopes 
are  from  the  free  mercy  of  God  in  Christ.'  After  a 
slumber,  he  awaked,  and  said,  '  I  shall  rest  from  my 
labour.'  A  minister  present  said, 'And  your  works 
shall  follow  you.'  To  whom  he  replied,  'no  works — 
I  will  leave  out  works,  if  God  will  grant  me  the  other,' 
When  a  friend  was  comforting  him  with  the  good 
many  had  received  by  his  preaching  and  writing,  he 
said,  '  I  was  but  a  pen  in  God's  hand,  and  what  praise 
is  due  to  a  pen?' 

"  His  resigned  submission  to  the  will  of  God,  in  his 
sharp  sickness,  was  eminent.  When  extremity  con- 
strained him  earnestly  to  pray  to  God  for  his  release, 
by  death,  he  would  check  himself,  '  It  is  not  fit  for 
me  to  prescribe — when  thou  wilt,  what  thou  wilt, 
and  how  thou  wilt,'  Being  in  great  anguish,  he  said, 
'0  how  unsearchable  are  his  judgments,  and  his 
ways  past  finding  out — the  reaches  of  his  providence 
we  cannot  fathom.'  And  to  his  friends, '  Do  not  think 
the  worse  of  religion  for  what  you  see  me  suffer.' 
Being  often  asked,  how  it  was  with  the  inner  man, 
he  replied,  'I  have  a  well-grounded  assurance  of  my 
eternal  happiness,  and  great  peace  and  comfort  with- 
in.' He  said, 'flesh  must  perish,  and  we  must  feel 
the  perishing  of  it,  and  that  though  his  judgment  sub- 
mitted, yet  sense  would  still  make  him  groan,'  He 
derived  great  comfort  from  that  description  in  Heb. 
xii.  22.  That  he  was  going  to  the  innumerable  com- 
pany of  angels,  and  to  the  general  assembly  and 
church  of  the  first  born,  whose  names  are  written  in 
heaven;  and  to  God  the  Judge  of  all,  and  to  the 
spirits  of  just  men  made  perfect,  and  to  Jesus  the 
Mediator  of  the  new  covenant,  and  to  the  blood  of 
sprinkling,  that  speaketh  better  things  than  the  blood 


284 


THOUGHTS    ON 


of  Abel.   '  That  Scripture,'  he  said, '  deserved  a  thou- 
sand and  a  thousand  thoughts.' 

"  At  another  time,  he  said  he  derived  great  comfort 
and  sweetness,  in  repeating  the  Lord's  prayer,  and 
was  sorry  some  good  people  were  prejudiced  against 
the  use  of  it,  for  there  were  all  necessary  petitions  for 
the  soul  and  body  contained  in  it.  He  gave  excellent 
counsels  to  young  ministers,  that  visited  him,  and 
earnestly  prayed  to  God  to  bless  their  labours,  and 
make  them  very  successful  in  turning  many  souls  to 
Christ;  expressed  great  joy  in  the  hopes  that  God 
would  do  a  great  deal  of  good  by  them,  and  that  their 
spirits  might  be  moderate  and  peaceful.  He  often 
prayed  that  God  would  be  merciful  to  this  miserable, 
distracted  world,  and  that  he  would  preserve  his 
church  and  interest  in  it.  He  advised  his  friends  to 
beware  of  self-conceit,  as  a  sin  that  was  likely  to  ruin 
the  nation. 

"  I  visited  hiu),  with  a  very  worthy  friend,  Mr. 
Mather,  from  New  England,  the  day  before  he  died. 
I  said  to  him,  '  You  are  now  approaching  your  long 
desired  home,'  he  answered,  '  I  believe,  I  believe.' 
He  expressed  great  willingness  to  die,  and  during  his 
sickness,  when  asked,  '  how  he  did,'  his  reply  was, 
'  almost  well.'  His  joy  was  most  remarkable,  when, 
in  his  own  apprehension,  death  was  nearest;  and 
his  spiritual  joy  was  at  length  consummated  in 
eternal  joy.  On  the  day  of  his  death,  a  great  trem- 
bling and  coldness  extorted  strong  cries  from  him,  for 
pity  and  relief  from  heaven;  which  cries  and  agonies 
continued  for  some  time,  till  at  length  he  ceased,  and 
lay  in  patient  expectation  of  his  change.  The  last 
words  he  spoke  to  me,  on  being  informed  that  I  was 
come  to  see  him,  were,  '  Oh,  I  thank  him,  I  thank 
him,'  and  turning  his  eye  to  me  said,  '  The  Lord 
teach  you  how  to  die!'  To  the  last  I  never  could 
perceive  his  peace  and  heavenly  hopes  assaulted  or 
disturbed.  I  have  often  heard  him  greatly  lament 
that  he  felt  no  greater  liveliness  in  what  appeared  so 
great  and  clear  to  him,  and  so  much  desired  by  him. 
He  told  me  he  knew  it  should  be  well  with  him, 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  285 

when  he  was  gone.  He  wondered  to  hear  others 
speak  of  their  sensible  and  passionately  strong  desires 
to  die,  and  of  their  comforts  of  spirit,  when  sensible 
of  their  approaching  death;  when,  though  bethought 
he  knew  as  much  as  they,  and  had  as  rational  satis- 
faction as  they  could  have,  that  his  soul  was  safe,  he 
never  could  feel  their  sensible  consolations.  I  asked, 
whether  much  of  this  was  not  to  be  resolved  into 
bodily  constitution,  he  told  me  he  thought  it  must  be 
so. 

A  wicked  and  groundless  report  was  circulated, 
that  he  was  greatly  troubled  with  skeptical  thoughts 
before  he  died.  Mr.  Sylvester,  who  was  with  him 
during  his  whole  sickness,  declares  there  was  not  the 
least  foundation,  whatever,  for  such  a  report.  But 
the  devil  seems  to  be  greatly  envious  at  the  comforta- 
ble death  of  God's  people,  and  therefore  his  agents 
are  busy  in  circulating  slanders  against  the  saints,  in 
regard  to  this  matter.  So,  although  Calvin  ended  his 
days  in  great  tranquillity  and  in  the  full  exercise  of 
faith  and  enjoyment  of  reason,  his  enemies  circulated 
the  report,  that  he  died  in  all  the  horrors  of  despair. 
Thus  also,  when  the  Rev.  Augustus  Toplady  was  near 
his  end,  it  was  circulated  that  he  had  renounced  all 
those  doctrines  of  grace,  for  which  he  was  so  zeal- 
ous in  his  life.  Happily  the  report  reached  him  be- 
fore his  decease,  which  gave  him  the  opportunity  of 
contradicting  it,  and  leaving  his  dying  testimony  in 
favour  of  those  doctrines.  His  dying  experience  was 
of  the  most  joyful  and  triumphant  kind,  and  would 
do  to  be  classed  with  those  of  John  Jane  way,  Ed- 
ward Payson,  and  Dr.  Samuel  Finley,  but  we  have 
not  room  for  it,  and  many  others. 

The  two  Henrys,  father  and  son,  so  eminent  for 
their  piety  and  usefulness,  were  carried  off  by  sudden 
and  painful  diseases,  wliich  afforded  little  opportunity 
for  much  conversation.  They  experienced,  however, 
much  of  the  divine  aid  and  support.  John  Howe's 
death  was  exactly  in  character  with  his  life  and  wri- 
tings. 

It  may  be  thought,  that  all  the  specimens  of  the  ex- 
19 


286 


THOUGHTS    ON 


perience  of  believers,  during  their  last  illness,  have 
been  of  the  favourable  kind;  and  far  above  what  is 
witnessed  in  the  greater  nuniber  of  Christians,  on 
their  dying  bed.  It  may  be  so.  But  I  wish  to  remark, 
that  in  all  my  life,  I  have  known  few  persons,  who 
lived  like  Christians,  when  in  health,  who  did  not 
in  their  approach  to  death,  manifest  as  much  hope 
and  fortitude,  in  that  trying  hour,  as  could  reasonably 
have  been  expected  from  the  character  of  their  piety. 
In  many  cases,  as  I  have  before  stated,  the  comfort 
and  assurance  of  some  timid  and  desponding  be- 
lievers, has  risen  far  above  what  any  of  their  friends 
dared  to  hope.  In  general  the  result  of  my  observa- 
tion is,  that  the  pious  find  death  less  terrible  on  their 
near  approach  to  the  event,  than  when  it  was  viewed 
at  a  distance.  Some  persons  have  naturally  a  much 
greater  dread  of  death  than  others,  though  their  piety 
may  be  more  lively.  Of  this  class  was  the  late  Dr. 
Thomas  Scott,  the  author  of  the  Commentary  on  the 
Bible.  Few  men  of  the  last  age,  gave  stronger  evi- 
dence of  deep-rooted  and  constant  attachment  to  the 
Saviour,  than  this  devoted  man.  In  the  service  of 
his  Master,  he  was  most  laborious  and  faithful,  and 
it  would  be  difficult  to  name  any  man  whose  evan- 
gelical labours  have  been  attended  with  happier  re- 
sults. He  contributed  much,  in  conjunction  with 
such  men  as  Romaine,  Newton,  Cecil,  and  others,  to 
extend  the  influence  of  vital  religion,  far  and  wide, 
through  the  established  church  of  England ;  and  his 
usefulness  was  not  confined  to  his  own  country,  or  to 
the  period  of  his  life;  but,  in  these  United  States,  I 
know  no  writings  which  have  been  so  extensively 
circulated,  and  which  have  so  powerful  an  effect  in 
correcting  prevailing  errors  in  religion,  and  promoting 
sound,  evangelical  views  of  Scriptural  truth.  1  have 
selected  the  dying  experience  of  this  man,  of  un- 
doubted and  eminent  piety,  for  the  reason  hinted  at 
in  the  beginning  of  this  chapter;  because  his  exer- 
cises, though  deeply  serious,  were  not  for  the  most 
of  the  time,  remarkably  comfortable;  and  in  no  part 
of  his  illness,  did  he  express  much  elevated  joy.     I 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE,  287 

think  it  right  to  view  God's  people  in  their  various 
states  and  frames,  as  they  approach  the  end  of  their 
pilgrimage.  A  pious  clergyman  remarked,  in  rela- 
tion to  the  exercises  of  Dr.  Scott,  that  men  of  pro- 
found thought,  and  deep  reflection,  are  not  commonly 
so  joyful  on  a  dying  be  as  Christians  of  less  under- 
standing and  less  experience,  and  refers  to  Bunyan, 
as  of  the  same  mind,  who  represents  Christian, 
his  chief  pilgrim,  as  almost  overwhelmed  with  the 
waters  of  Jordan,  while  the  less  experienced  pilgrim, 
Hopeful,  goes  over  with  little  difficulty  or  danger.  I 
cannot  say,  that  I  can  altogether  concur  in  this  re- 
mark. It  may  often  happen,  that  the  unlettered 
Christian  has  a  livelier  faith  than  the  profoundly 
learned  theologian,  and  of  course  will  be  likely  to 
have  a  calmer,  happier  exit  from  the  world.  But 
if  men  of  talents  and  learning  possess  a  vigorous, 
evangelical  faith,  they  are  as  likely  to  rejoice  on  a 
dying  bed  as  any  others,  as  is  evinced  by  the  exam- 
ples of  Rivet,  Baxter,  Horace,  &c.  The  difference 
between  the  comforts  of  dying  saints  may  be  attribu- 
ted, first  to  divine  sovereignty,  which  distributes  grace 
and  consolation  as  seemeth  good  unto  him;  secondly, 
to  bodily  temperament;  some  persons  being  more 
fearful  than  others,  and  more  prone  to  suspect  their 
own  sincerity;  and  thirdly,  to  the  nature  of  the  disease 
by  which  the  body  is  brought  down  to  the  grave.  It 
is  the  tendency  of  some  diseases,  while  they  do  not 
disturb  the  intellect,  to  exhilarate  the  spirits,  and  en- 
liven the  imagination;  while  a  distressing  depression 
or  perturbation  is  the  effect  of  others,  to  say  nothing 
of  the  different  degrees  of  pain  experienced  by  different 
persons.  And  we  know  that  some  diseases  have 
a  deplorable  stupifying  efi'ect;  and  a  fourth  and  fre- 
quent cause  of  difference  in  the  exercises  of  dying 
persons  is  produced  by  the  medicine  which  is  admin- 
istered. When  physicians  can  do  nothing  to  cure, 
they  think  it  right  to  lull  their  patients  by  opiates  or 
excite  them  by  alcohol.  I  have,  when  sick,  been  more 
afraid  of  nothing  than  these  intoxicating  and  stupify- 
ing, or  even  exhilarating  drugs.     0  let  no  artificial 


288  THOUGHTS    ON 

means  be  ever  used  with  me,  in  that  dread  hour,  to 
interrupt  sober  and  deliberate  reflection ! 

But  to  return  to  Dr.  Scott;  his  disease  was  a  violent 
fever,  so  that  the  range  of  his  pulse  was  from  150  to 
175  in  a  minute.  Under  such  a  disease  it  is  not 
wonderful  that  he  was  often  restless  and  uncomforta- 
ble in  his  feelings.  The  Rev.  Daniel  Wilson,  (now 
bishop  of  Calcutta)  in  his  funeral  sermon  observes, 
"That  for  several  years  preceding  the  event  itself,  his 
bodily  infirmities  had  been  increasing.  His  strength 
and  natural  spirits  at  times  sensibly  failed.  His  own 
impression  was,  that  his  departure  was  approach- 
ing, and  he  contemplated  it  with  calmness  and  tran- 
quillity." Mr.  Wilson  with  great  propriety  remarks, 
"  Before  I  proceed  to  give  some  particulars  of  his 
most  instructive  and  affecting  departure,  I  must  ob- 
serve, that  I  lay  no  stress  on  them  as  to  the  evidence 
of  his  state  before  God.  It  is  the  tenor  of  the  life, 
not  that  of  the  few  suffering  and  morbid  scenes  which 
precede  dissolution,  that  fixes  the  character.  We  are 
not  authorized  from  Scripture  to  place  any  depen- 
dence on  the  last  periods  of  sinking  nature,  through 
which  the  Christian  may  be  called  to  pass  to  his 
eternal  reward.  But  though  no  importance  is  to  be 
attached  to  these  hours  of  fainting  mortality,  with 
reference  to  the  acceptance  and  final  triumph  of  the 
dying  Christian,  yet,  where  it  pleases  God  to  afford 
one  of  his  departing  servants,  as  in  the  instance  be- 
fore us,  such  a  measure  of  faith  and  self-possession, 
as  to  close  a  holy  and  most  consistent  life,  with  a 
testimony  which  sealed,  amidst  the  pains  of  acute 
disease,  and  in  the  most  impressive  manner,  all  his 
doctrines  and  instructions,  during  forty-five  preceding 
years,  we  are  called  on,  as  I  think,  to  record  with 
gratitude  the  divine  benefit,  and  to  use  it  with  hu- 
mility, for  the  confirmation  of  our  own  faith  and  joy." 

His  second  son,  writes  from  his  bed-side,  "  His 
gloom,  of  which  I  had  heard  a  good  deal,  in  an  indis- 
tinct manner,  by  no  means  relates  to  the  prospects 
which  lie  before  him.  He  is  perfectly  calm  and 
cheerful  in  the  view  of  dissolution,  and  seems  disap- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  289 

pointed  at  the  symptoms  of  recovery.  He  thought 
his  trials  were  almost  over;  and  said,  that  yesterday 
morning  he  had  hoped  to  end  the  sacred  services  of 
the  day  in  heaven.  Indeed,  his  wish  is,  decidedly, 
to  depart,  in  the  confidence  that  he  shall  he  with 
Christ,  ivhich  is  far  better.  His  dejection  is  mani- 
festly nothing  more  than  the  feeling  of  a  mind  ex- 
hausted by  its  own  exertions.  His  feelings  on  Sunday 
were  very  distressing  both  to  himself  and  others,  and 
were  clearly  aggravated  by  a  degree  of  delirium 
arising  from  fever.  Yesterday  and  to-day  he  has 
been  quite  calm,  and  though  too  weak  to  speak  much, 
is  evidently  in  a  tranquil  state.  I  brought  my  eldest 
boy  witli  me,  that  he  might  once  more  see  his  grand- 
father, and  receive  his  last  blessing.  He  spoke  to 
him  this  morning  for  a  few  minutes  in  a  most  atfect- 
ing  manner,  and  pronounced  his  blessing  upon  him, 
in  a  way,  which  I  trust,  he  will  never  forget.  May 
God  grant  that  he  may  walk  in  the  steps  which  are 
leading  his  grandfather  to  glory!"  In  another  letter, 
a  few  days  afterwards,  he  says,  "Though  I  can  say 
nothing  favourable  respecting  his  health,  for  he  ap- 
pears approaching  very  near  to  his  end,  yet,  thanks 
be  to  God,  the  clouds  which  overspread  his  mind  are 
breaking  away,  and  he  talks  with  a  placidity  and  cheer- 
fulness greater  than  I  have  before  seen,  since  I  came." 
"Just  as  we  had  assembled  for  family  worship,  he 
sent  to  say,  that  he  wished  us  to  meet  in  his  room, 
and  join  in  the  Lord's  supper,  as  a  means  of  grace 
through  which  he  might  receive  that  consolation  that 
he  was  seeking.  The  whole  family — with  one  ex- 
ception— was  present,  and  an  old  parishioner.  It  is 
impossible  to  describe  the  deeply  interesting  and  af- 
fecting scene.  The  fervour  displayed  by  my  dear 
father,  the  poor  emaciated  form,  the  tears  and  sobs 
of  all  present,  were  almost  more  than  I  could  bear 
with  that  degree  of  composure  which  was  requisite 
to  enable  me  to  read  the  service,  so  as  to  make  him 
hear,  (Dr.  S.  had  become  very  deaf)  But  it  was  a 
delightful  feeling,  and  has  done  more  to  cheer  our 
downcast  hearts,   than  can  well   be   conceived.     It 


290  THOUGHTS    ON 

was,  moreover,  a  cordial  to  my  father's  spirits,  who 
adopted  the  words  of  the  venerable  Simeon,  in  the 
prospect  of  dissolution;  Noiv  lettesi  thou  thy  servant 
depart  in  peace.'' 

The  Rev.  D.  Wilson,  in  his  funeral  sermon,  of 
which  a  number  of  editions  were  published,  makes 
the  following  just  remarks: — "The  remarkable  suf- 
ferings of  so  eminent  a  saint,  in  his  last  sickness, 
may,  perhaps,  at  first  perplex  the  mind  of  a  young 
Christian.  But  such  a  person  should  remember,  that 
the  way  to  Heaven  is  ordinarily  a  way  of  tribulation, 
and  that  the  greatest  honour  God  puts  on  his  ser- 
vants, is  to  call  them  to  such  circumstances  of  afilic- 
tion  as  display  and  manifest  his  grace.  What  would 
have  crushed  a  weak  and  unstable  penitent,  with  im- 
mature knowledge  of  the  promises  of  salvation,  only 
illustrated  the  faith  of  the  venerable  subject  of  this 
discourse.  God  adapts  the  burden  to  the  strength. 
As  to  the  darkness  and  anguish  which  at  times  rested 
on  his  mind,  they  were  clearly  the  combined  effects 
of  disease  and  the  temptations  of  the  adversary.  The 
return  of  comfort  as  the  fever  remitted,  made  this  quite 
certain,  and  he  was  himself  able,  at  times,  to  make 
the  distinction.  But  even  in  the  midst  of  his  afflictive 
feelings,  it  is  manifest  to  every  real  judge  of  such  a 
case,  that  a  living  and  a  strong  faith  was  in  vigorous 
activity.  For  consolation  is  one  thing,  faith  another. 
This  latter  grace  often  lays  hold  of  the  promises  made 
in  Christ  with  the  firmest  grasp,  at  the  very  time 
when  hope  and  comfort  are  interrupted  by  the  mor- 
bid state  of  the  bodily  and  mental  powers.  Our 
feelings  and  powers,  thank  God,  are  not  the  founda- 
tion on  which  we  build.  Never,  perhaps,  was  stronger 
faith  exhibited  by  our  Saviour  himself,  than  when  he 
uttered  those  piercing  words,  "  My  God,  my  God, 
why  hast  thou  forsaken  me?'' 

His  daughter,  in  giving  an  account  of  the  condition 
of  her  dying  father,  says,  "  In  the  time  of  his  dark- 
ness and  gloom,  he  prayed  without  ceasing,  and  with 
inexpressible  fervour.  He  seemed  unconscious  of 
any  one  being  near  him,  and  gave  vent  to  the  feel- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


291 


ings  of  his  mind  without  restraint.  And,  Oh!  what 
holy  feelings  were  they!  What  spirituality;  what 
hatred  of  sin;  what  humility;  what  simple  faith  in 
Christ;  what  zeal  for  God's  glory;  what  submission! 
Never  could  I  hear  him  without  heing  reminded  of 
Him,  who  beins;  in  an  agony,  prayed  the  more  ear- 
nestly. '  I  think  nothing,'  said  he,  '  of  my  bodily 
pains— my  soul  is  all.  I  trust  all  will  end  well,  but  it 
is  a  dreadful  conflict.  I  hope— I  fear— I  tremble— I 
pray.  Satan  tries  to  be  avenged  of  me  in  this  awful 
hour,  for  all  that  I  have  done  against  his  kingdom 
through  life.  He  longs  to  pluck  me  out  of  Christ's 
hand.  Subdue  the  enemy,  0  Lord!  Silence  the  ac- 
cuser.    Bruise  Satan  under  my  feet  shortly. — 

*  Hide  me,  O  my  Saviour  hide, 

Till  the  storm  of  life  is  past. 
Safe  into  the  haven  guide, 

O  receive  my  soul  at  last. — 
Other  refuge  have  I  none.' 

0,  to  enter  eternity  with  one  doubt  on  the  mind— 0 
eternity — eternity— eternity!  0  what  a  thing  sin  is! 
Who  knoioeth  the  power  of  his  ivrath?  If  this  be 
the  way  to  Heaven,  what  must  be  the  way  to  hell? 
If  the  righteous  scarcely  be  saved,  where  shall  the 
ungodly  and  sinner  appear  7''^ 

He  mentioned  the  wonderful  way  in  which  his 
prayers  for  others  had  been  answered,  and  seemed  to 
derive  some  comfort  from  it.  He  rejected  every  at- 
tempt to  comfort  him  by  reminding  him  of  the  way  in 
which  he  had  served  and  glorified  God.  "  Christ  is 
all,"  he  said,  "  He  is  my  only  hope."  His  wonder- 
ful knowledge  of  Scripture  was  a  source  of  great  com- 
fort; and  the  exactness  with  which  he  repeated  pas- 
sage after  passage,  was  amazing.  The  manner  in 
which  also  he  connected  one  with  another,  was  ad- 
mirable. His  first  clear  consolation  was  after  re- 
ceiving the  Lord's  Supper,  of  which  an  account  has 
been  given.  He  had  previously  observed,  "  An  un- 
due stress  is,  by  some,  laid  on  this  ordinance,  as  ad- 
ministered to  the  sick;  and  others,  I  think,  are  in 


292  THOUGHTS    OX 

danger  of  undervaluing  it.  It  is  a  means  of  grace; 
and  may  prove  God's  instrument  of  conveying  to  me 
the  comfort  I  am  seeking,"  After  he  had  partaken 
of  this  divine  ordinance,  he  said  to  his  son-in-law, 
"It  was  beneficial  to  me;  I  received  Christ  and  he  re- 
ceived me.  I  feel  a  composure  which  I  did  not  ex- 
pect last  night.  I  have  not  a  triumphant  assurance, 
but  something  which  is  more  calm  and  satisfactory. 
I  bless  God  for  it."  And  then  repeated,  in  the  most 
emphatic  manner,  the  12th  chapter  of  Isaiah,  "O 
Lord  I  will  praise  thee,  though  thou  ivast  angry  with 
7726,"  &c.  0  to  realize  the  fulness  of  joy — 0  to  liave 
done  with  temptation  !  "  They  shall  hunger  no  more, 
nor  thirst  any  more;  neither  shall  the  sun  light  on 
them  nor  any  heat;  for  the  Lamb  which  is  in  the 
midst  of  the  throne  shall  feed  them,  and  shall  lead 
them  unto  living  fountains  of  waters,  and  God  shall 
wipe  away  all  tears  from  their  eyes." — "  They  come 
out  of  great  tribulation,  and  have  washed  tlieir  robes 
and  made  them  white  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb; 
therefore  are  they  before  the  throne  of  God." — "  We 
know  not  what  we  shall  be,  but  we  know  that  when 
He  shall  appear,  we  shall  be  like  him;  for  we  shall 
see  him  as  he  is." — "  The  righteous  hath  hope  in  his 
death;  not  driven  away — no,  no,  not  driven  away!" 

"  There  is  one  feeling,"  said  he,  "which  I  cannot 
have  if  I  would.  Those  that  oppose  my  doctrine 
have  slandered  me  sadly,  but  I  cannot  feel  any  resent- 
7nent.  I  can  only  love  and  pity  them,  and  pray  for 
their  salvation.  I  never  did  feel  any  resentment 
against  them.  I  only  regret  that  I  did  not  more 
ardently  long  and  pray  for  the  salvation  of  their 
souls.  I  feel  most  earnest  in  prayer  for  the  promo- 
tion of  Christ's  kingdom  all  over  the  earth.  There 
are  two  causes  in  the  world,  the  cause  of  God  and  of 
the  devil;  the  cause  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ  and  of 
the  devil.  The  cause  of  God  will  prevail  all  over  the 
world,  among  all  kindreds,  and  people,  and  tongues. 
It  shall  fill  the  whole  earth,  '  Hallowed  be  thy  name, 
thy  kingdom,  come.' " 

Waking,  after  a  short  sleep,  in  great  calmness,  he 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


293 


said,  "  This  is  heaven  begun  ;  I  have  done  with  dark- 
ness/or ever— for  ever.  Satan  is  vanquished.  Noth- 
ing now  remains  but  salvation,  with  eternal  glory — 
ETERNAL  GLORY."  But  the  couflict  Wds  not  yet  over, 
for  another  paroxysm  came  on  with  great  violence; 
his  sufferings  were  extreme,  and  confusion  and  gloom 
prevailed.  He  cried  earnestly  to  God,  and  said,  "  All 
my  calm  and  comfort  are  gone;  nothing  remains  of 
them  but  a  faint  recollection.  Well,  after  all,  God  is 
greater  than  Satan.  Is  not  Christ  all  suliicient?  Can 
he  not  save  to  the  uttermost?  Has  he  not  promised 
to  save?  Lord  deliver  me — suffer  not  Satan  to  pre- 
vail. Pity,  pity.  Lord  pity  me !"  But  during  all  his 
severe  sulferings  of  mind  and  body,  not  a  word  of 
repining  or  murmuring  ever  escaped  his  lips.  He  said 
with  reference  to  his  dying  in  this  gloom,  "  I  cannot 
help  it.  Thou  art  righteous,  Father,  glorify  thy 
name.^^  And  then  repeated  those  affecting  hues  of 
Watt's  paraphrase  of  the  fifty-first  psalm, 

"And  if  my  soul  were  sent  to  Hell, 
Thy  righteous  law  approves  it  well; — 
Yet  save  a  humble  sinner  Lord, 
Whose  hope  still  hovering  round  thy  word, 
Would  light  on  some  sweet  promise  there. 
Some  sure  support  against  despair." 

To  his  wife,  he  said,  "  God  be  your  father  and  your 
husband.  I  trust  all  mine  will  be  kind  to  you.  You 
have  been  a  great  blessing  unto  me.  We  shall,  I 
trust,  meet  in  heaven.  I  have  less  doubt  of  you,  than 
of  myself" 

A  message  was  received  from  the  Rev.  D.  Wilson, 
his  highly  esteemed  friend,  expressing  among  other 
things,  the  great  benefit  he  had  been  to  the  church. 
"  Now  this,"  said  he,  "  is  doing  me  harm.  '  God  be 
merciful  to  vie  a  sinner,''  is  the  only  ground  on 
which  I  rest.  If  I  am  saved,  God  shall  have  all  the 
glory."  Having  talked  too  much,  he  was  again  dis- 
tressed, but  having  obtained  some  rest,  he  awoke  in 
the  night,  and  said  to  his  youngest  son,  who  sat  up 
with  him,  "  What  is  the  world  and  the  glory  of  it?  ^  I 
would  not  change  my  hope,  lean  and  meagre  as  it  is, 


294 


THOUGHTS    ON 


for  all  the  kingdoms  of  the  world  and  the  glory  of 
them,  were  I  sure  of  living  a  thousand  years  longer, 
to  enjoy  them." 

I  asked  him  on  Sunday,  if  I  should  stay  from 
church  and  attend  on  him,  "  0  no,"  he  replied,  "noth- 
ing gives  me  pleasure  but  what  is  for  your  good,  and 
the  thought  that  you  pray  for  me." 

On  Monday,  he  said  to  the  servant  who  attended 
him,  "  I  thank  you  for  all  your  kindness.  You  have 
been  a  faithful  domestic,  and  I  hope  a  conscientious 
one.  If  at  any  time  I  have  been  hasty  and  sharp, 
forgive  me,  and  pray  to  God  to  forgive,  but  lay  the 
blame  upon  me,  not  on  religion."  A  similar  address 
and  request  he  made  to  his  curate.  Thus  his  feelings 
continued  to  alternate  for  several  days,  until  death 
closed  the  scene.  But  whatever  were  his  pains,  his 
prayers  were  unceasing  and  most  earnest.  During 
the  whole  scene,  his  patience,  his  kindness,  his  sub- 
mission, his  humility,  and  his  faith,  were  most  mani- 
fest. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

Preparation  for  Death — The  state  of  the  Soul  after  Death. 

It  was  intended  to  have  added  the  death-bed  expe- 
rience of  the  Rev.  Dr.  Andrew  Fuller,  and  of  some 
others,  but  it  seemed  that  this  part  of  the  subject  had 
been  extended  far  enough.  Indeed,  some  may  be 
ready  to  inquire,  why  so  much  said  respecting  the 
thoughts  and  speeches  of  dying  persons?  To  which 
we  would  reply,  that  there  is  no  subject  in  the  world 
which  ought  to  be  more  interesting  to  all  men,  since 
all  men  are  appointed  to  die.  Whatever  other  evils 
we  may  escape,  "in  this  war  there  is  no  discharge." 
It  is  a  scene  of  which  we  can  have  no  previous  ex- 
perience; and  therefore,  it  is  prudent  to  learn  what 
we  can  from  the  experience  of  those  who  have  gone 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


295 


before  us.    It  is  an  important  and  an  awful  scene,  and 
should  therefore  occupy  many  of  our  thoughts.     If 
due  preparation  has  been  neglected  in  life  and  health, 
there  is  small  probability  that  it  will  be  made  on  a 
dying  bed.     If  I  had  set  down  all  that  I  have  wit- 
nessed and  read  of  the  dying  exercises  of  unconverted 
sinners,  it  would  have  presented  an  appalhng  object 
for  our  contemplation.     Such  scenes  have  often  been 
exhibited  in  print,  and  are  not  without  their  use,  but 
such  narratives  did  not  fall  in  with  the  scope  of  these 
essays.    But  however  insipid,  or  even  disgusting  these 
accounts  of  the  dying  exercises  of  believers  may  be  to 
some  readers,  there  is  a  class,  and  a  large  one  too,  who 
will  take  a  deep  interest  in  these  things,  because  they 
are  now  waiting  till    their   change  comes,  and  are 
looking  forward  with  intense  interest  to  that  inevit- 
able event  of  which  we  have  been  writing  so  much. 
These  are  the  persons  whom  the  author  has  had  prin- 
cipally in  view,  in  selecting  these  experiences  of  de- 
parting saints;  and  as  the  hopes  and  comforts  of  the 
children  of  God  in  life  are  very  various,  so  he  has  en- 
deavoured to  show,  that  a  like  variety  is  found  in 
their  views  and  exercises,  at  the  time  of  their  depar- 
ture out  of  the  world.    The  writer  confesses  also,  that 
in  dwelling  so  long  on  this  subject,  he  had  some  re- 
gard to  his  own  editication,  and  preparation  for  death. 
As  he  knows  from  infallible  evidence,  that  he  will 
soon  be  required  to  put  off  this  tabernacle,  and  to 
emigrate  from  this  lower  world,  he  was  solicitous  to  ac- 
quii-e  as  much  information  as  he  was  able  from  those 
who  have  gone  before,  what  were  the  difficulties,  suf- 
ferings, and  encouragements,  of  pilgrims  in  this  last 
stage  of  their  journey.  And,  however  it  may  be  with 
others,  he  has  derived  instruction  and  encouragement, 
from  the  contemplation  of  such  scenes  as  are  here  de- 
scribed. It  appears  to  him  supremely  reasonable,  that 
during  the  short  time  which  remains  of  his  lite,  he 
should  be  chiefly  concerned  in  the  meditation  of  the 
things  of  another  world,  and  in  making  actual  prepa- 
ration for  his  own  departure.     He  once  supposed  that 
the  near  approach  of  death  would  of  itself  be  sufficient 


296 


THOUGHTS    ON 


to  arouse  the  mind,  and  impress  upon  it  the  reahty 
and  awful  importance  of  eternal  things;  but  he  finds 
by  sad  experience,  that  however  bis  judgment  is  con- 
vinced of  the  certainty  of  death,  and  its  consequences, 
that  nothing  will  bring  these  things  to  bear  on  the 
heart,  but  the  illumination  of  the  Holy  Spirit.  He 
wishes,  therefore,  to  engage  in  such  reading,  medita- 
tion, and  writing,  as  may  have  a  tendency  to  fix  his 
thoughts  on  the  solemn  scene  before  him,  when  he 
must  close  his  eyes  on  the  light  of  this  world,  and 
bid  adieu  to  all  friends  and  objects  with  which  he  has 
been  conversant  here.  He  is  not  of  opinion,  however, 
that  the  best  way  to  make  preparation  for  death,  is  to 
sit  down  and  pore  over  the  condition  of  our  own 
souls,  or  to  coiifine  our  exertions  to  those  things 
which  are  directly  connected  with  our  own  salvation. 
We  are  kept  here  to  do  our  Master's  work,  and  that 
relates  to  others  as  well  as  ourselves.  We  have  a  stew- 
ardship, of  which  we  must  give  an  account;  and  the 
faithful  and  wise  steward  is  careful  and  diligent  in  dis- 
pensing blessings  committed  to  him,  to  others;  this  is 
especially  the  case  in  regard  to  ministers  of  the  gospel. 
We  have  a  responsible  office,  and  our  account  before 
the  tribunal  of  Jesus  Christ  must  be  solemn  and 
awful;  and  it  will  not  do  to  relinquish  the  proper 
work  of  our  calling,  upon  the  pretext  of  seeking  our 
own  salvation.  Our  own  seeking  will  be  entirely 
unavailing,  without  the  aid  and  blessing  of  God,  and 
this  we  may  expect  most  confidently,  when  we  are 
diligently  engaged  in  doing  his  work,  which  is  always 
the  duties  of  our  station  and  calling.  Active  duty 
must  be  performed  as  long  as  we  have  strength  for 
the  work;  and  like  the  Levites,  we  must  attend  around 
the  tabernacle  and  altar,  when  we  are  too  old  for 
more  laborious  services.  Many  of  the  faithful  ser- 
vants of  God  have  expressed  a  strong  desire  not  to 
outlive  their  usefulness;  and  some  have  wished  that 
their  departure  might  occur  in  the  very  act  of  preach- 
ing. These  things  we  may  better  leave  to  the  wis- 
dom of  God,  who  directs  all  the  circumstances  of  the 
death  of  his  people,  as  well  as  of  their  lives.     Even 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE,  297 

when  by  bodily  infirmities,  the  servants  of  God  are 
obliged  to  desist  from  public  labours,  they  do  not 
cease  from  serving  their  Master;  their  lives  are  not 
useless.     His  name  is  as  much  honoured  by  patient 
submission  and  cheerful  resignation,  as   by  zealous 
public  exertion;  and  the  greatest  and  most  effectual 
work  which  can  be  performed  by  any  on  earth,  they 
can  perform — I  mean  the  offering  of  prayers  and  in- 
tercessions, day  and  night,  at  The  throne  of  grace. 
Let  not  the  infirm  and  aged  say,  that  they  can  now 
do  nothing  for  God.     They  can  do  much;  and  for 
ought  they  can  tell,  more  than  they  ever  did  in  the 
days  of  their  vigour.     It  is  a  beautiful  sight  to  see 
men  laden  with  fruit,  even  in  old  age.     Such  fruits 
are  generally  more  mature  than  those  of  earlier  days; 
and  the  aged  saint  often  enjoys  a  tranquillity  and  re- 
pose of  spirit,  which  is  almost  peculiar  to  "that  age. 
David,  or  whoever  is  the  author  of  the  71st  Psalm, 
prays  most  earnestly  a  prayer  which  should  be  daily 
on  the  lips  of  the  aged,  "  Cast  me  not  off  in  the  time 
of  old  age;  forsake  me  not  when  my  strength  faileth." 
And  again,  "Now  when  I  am  old  and  grey-headed 
forsake  me  not,  until  I  have  showed  thy  strength  to 
this  generation,  and  thy  power  to  all  that  are  to  come." 
Let  the  aged  then  tell  to  those  that  come  after  them, 
the  works  of  divine  grace  which  they  have  witnessed 
or  which  their  fathers  have  told  them.     Let  them  be 
active  as  long  as  they  can,  and  when  bodily  strength 
faileth,  let  them  wield  the  pen;  or  if  unable  to  write 
for  the  edification  of  the  church,  let  them  exhibit  a 
consistent  and  shining  example  of  the  Christian  tem- 
per, in  kindness  and  good  will  to  all;  in  uncomplain- 
ing patience;  in  contented  poverty;  in  cheerful  sub- 
mission to  painful  providences;  and  in  mute  resigna- 
tion to  the  bereavement  of  their  dearest  friends.    And 
when  death  comes,  let  them  not  be  afraid  or  disnia\'-ed ; 
then  will  be  the  time  to  honour  God  by  implicitly  and 
confidently  trusting  in  his  promises.  Let  them  "against 
hope  believe  in  hope."     It  is  by  fiiith  that  the  last 
enemy  must  be  conquered.     He  that  believeth  shall 
not  be  confounded,  in  this  trying  hour.     The  great 


298  THOUGHTS    ON 

Shepherd  will  not  forsake  his  redeemed  flock,  for 
whom  he  has  shed  his  blood;  and  though  the  adver- 
sary may  rage  and  violently  assault  the  dying  saint, 
he  shall  not  overcome  them.  Each  one  of  them  may 
say  with  humble  confidence,  "Though  I  walk  through 
the  valley  and  shadow  of  death,  I  will  fear  no  evil, 
for  thou  art  with  me,  thy  rod  aixl  thy  stafl!"  they  com- 
fort me." 

Let  us  not  desire  to  make»a  parade  and  ostentatious 
display  on  a  dying  bed.  Death  has  been  called  the 
holiest  hour,  but  hypocrisy  may  be  practised  even 
on  a  dying  bed.  Although  this  event  often  reveals 
secrets,  and  brings  deceived  souls  to  a  conviction  of 
the  sandy  foundation  on  which  they  have  built  their 
hopes;  yet  some  keep  on  the  mask  to  the  last  moment. 
More,  however,  suppress  the  expression  of  their  fears 
and  distress  of  mind.  So  much  is  said  often  about 
the  manner  in  which  persons  meet  death,  that  some 
good  men  have  wished  and  requested  to  be  left  very 
much  alone:  they  have  feared  lest  they  should  be 
tempted  to  vain-glory,  even  on  a  dying  bed;  or  they 
have  feared  lest  their  coiu'age  should  fail  them  in  the 
last  struggle,  and  they  should,  through  pain  and  im- 
becility of  mind,  be  left  to  bring  dishonour  on  their 
profession.  The  late  excellent  and  evangelical  Simeon 
of  Cambridge,  seems  to  have  been  under  the  influence 
of  a  feeling  of  this  kind.  But  the  best  and  safest  way 
is  submissively  to  commit  all  the  circumstances  of  our 
death  unto  God. 

We  have  no  conception  of  the  soul,  but  as  a  think- 
ing, active  being.  The  body  is  merely  an  organ  or 
instrument  by  which  the  soul  acts  while  connected 
with  it;  indeed,  it  cannot  be  demonstrated  that  the 
soul  performs  all  its  acts  here  by  the  use  of  this  organ. 
But  whether  or  not,  is  of  little  consequence.  We 
know  that  activity  belongs  to  the  soul,  not  to  the 
body;  and  it  would  be  a  strange  conclusion,  that  that 
which  is  essentially  active,  should  cease  to  act,  be- 
cause it  had  been  deprived  of  one  set  of  organs.  The 
only  legitimate  inference  is  that  when  separated  from 
the  body,  the  mode  of  action  is  different  from  what 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  299 

it  was  before.  As  we  leani  the  various  operations 
of  the  soul,  only  by  experience,  it  is  plain,  that  we 
cannot  fully  understand  or  explain,  the  precise  mode 
of  its  action  after  it  is  separated  from  the  body.  Paul 
teaches  us,  that  the  soul  may  exist  and  have  conscious 
exercises  of  a  very  exaUed  kind,  for,  he  says,  speak- 
ing of  his  rapture  into  heaven,  "  Whether  in  the  body 
or  out  of  the  body,  I  cannot  tell;"  for  if  the  soul 
could  not  act  without  the  body,  he  could  have  told 
certainly  that  ho  was  in  the  body,  when  he  witnessed, 
in  the  third  heavens,  things  which  it  is  not  lawful  for 
a  man  to  utter.  But  this  truth  is  taught  more  clearly 
and  directly  by  Christ  himself,  when  he  said  to  the 
penitent  thief,  on  the  cross,  "this  day  shalt  thou  be 
with  me  in  Paradise."  This  testimony  is  of  itself 
abundantly  sufficient,  and  there  is  no  evasion  of  its 
force,  but  by  an  interpretation  so  frigid  and  far-fetched, 
that  it  only  serves  to  betray  the  weakness  of  the 
cause  which  it  is  brought  to  support.  Paul,  in  an- 
other passage,  speaks  clearly  and  explicitly  on  this 
point:  "  Therefore,  we  are  always  confident,  know- 
ing that  whilst  we  are  at  home  in  the  body,  we  are 
absent  from  the  Lord.  We  are  confident,  I  say,  and 
willing  rather  to  be  absent  from  the  body,  and  to  be 
present  with  the  Lord."  In  the  previous  context  this 
apostle  intimates  that  when  the  clay  tabernacle  is 
dissolved  the  soul  will  not  be  found  naked,  but  that 
there  will  be  another  house  ready  to  receive  it;  so 
that  it  will  not  be  unclothed,  but  clothed  upon.  "For," 
says  he,  "in  this  we  groan,  earnestly  desiring  to  be 
clothed  upon  with  our  house,  which  is  from  heaven. 
If  so  be  that  being  clothed,  we  shall  not  be  found 
naked.  For  we  that  are  in  this  tabernacle  so  do 
groan,  being  burdened,  not  that  we  would  be  un- 
clothed but  clothed  upon,  that  mortality  might  be 
swallowed  up  of  life."  It  would  seem,  then,  that  the 
soul  is  never  without  a  suitable  dwelling;  it  will  not 
be  unclothed;  it  only  passes  from  one  house  to  an- 
other— from  an  earthly  to  a  heavenly  habitation. 
But  what  this  celestial  clothing  will  be,  of  course  we 
cannot  now  tell.    When  Stephen  was  dying,  he  cried 


300 


THOUGHTS    ON 


"Lord  Jesus  receive  my  spirit."  The  Lord  Jesus  is 
every  where  near  to  his  saints;  and  as  he  watches 
over  his  sheep  during  their  whole  passage  through 
the  wilderness;  so  He  is  especially  near  to  them, 
when  they  come  to  the  "valley  and  shadow  of  Death," 
so  that  they  may  then  sing  with  the  sweet  psalmist  of 
Israel,  "  When  I  walk  through  the  valley  and  shadow 
of  death,  I  will  fear  no  evil,  for  thou  art  with  me,  thy 
rod  and  thy  staff  they  comfort  me."  But  as  Jesus 
the  Lord,  has  his  residence  in  heaven,  where  he  occu- 
pies a  place  on  the  throne  of  God,  at  the  right  hand 
of  the  Father,  and  is  surrounded  hy  an  innumerable 
host  ready  to  execute  all  his  commandments;  so  he 
commissions  messengers  to  attend  at  the  dying  bed  of 
believers,  and  receive  the  spirits  of  the  just  and  con- 
duct them  to  his  presence.  It  is  evident  that  the  de- 
parting soul  will  need  a  guide  and  convoy,  for  utterly 
ignorant  of  the  glorious  world  into  which  it  has  en- 
tered, it  would  not  know  which  way  to  direct  its 
course,  or  where  to  find  its  allotted  mansion.  For 
heaven  is  a  wide  domain — the  house  of  the  Father  of 
our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  has  many  mansions,  and  every 
redeemed  soul  has  provided  for  it,  an  appropriate 
residence,  "for,"  says  Christ,  "I  go  to  prepare  a 
place  for  you."  And  tliat  guardian  angels  are  sent 
to  perform  these  kind  offices  for  departed  saints,  we 
are  not  left  to  conjecture,  for  we  read,  that  as  soon  as 
Lazarus  died,  he  "was  carried  by  the  angels  into 
Abraham's  bosom."  There  is  no  reason  for  sup- 
posing that  the  privilege  now  conferred  on  the  beg- 
gar, was  peculiar  to  him;  every  saint  needs  the 
guidance  and  guardianship  of  angels  as  well  as  Laza- 
rus; and  we  may  conclude  therefore,  that  angels  will 
attend  on  every  departing  saint. 

Although  we  cannot  now  understand,  how  the 
soul  will  act  in  the  future  Avorld,  when  divested  of 
the  body  of  clay;  we  cannot  doubt  that  its  conscious- 
ness of  its  identity  will  go  with  it.  The  memory  of 
the  past,  instead  of  being  obliterated,  will,  in  all  pro- 
bability, be  much  more  perfect,  than  while  the  per- 
son lived  upon  earth.     It  is  no  how  incredible,  that 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE. 


301 


memory  in  the  future  world,  will  present  to  men, 
every  thing  which  they  have  ever  known,  and  every 
transaction  in  which  they  were  ever  engaged.  The 
susceptibility  of  joyful  emotions  will  also  accompany 
the  soul  into  the  invisible  world;  and  one  of  the  first 
feelings  of  the  departed  saint,  will  be,  a  lively  sense 
of  complete  deliverance  from  all  evil,  natural  and 
moral.  The  pains  of  death  will  be  Ihe  last  pangs 
ever  experienced.  When  these  are  over,  the  soul 
will  enjoy  the  feeling  of  complete  salvation  from 
every  distress.  What  a  new  and  delightful  sensa- 
tion will  it  be,  to  feel  safe  from  every  future  danger, 
as  well  as  saved  from  all  past  trouble.  But  the  most 
important  change  experienced  at  this  time,  will  be,  a 
perfect  purification  of  the  soul  from  siff.  The  soul, 
heretofore  struggling  with  inbred  corruption,  which 
damped  its  ardour,  darkened  its  views,  stupified  its 
feelings,  now  can  act  without  any  moral  obstruction. 
Who  that  has  often  complained,  like  Paul,  "  0  wretch- 
ed man  that  I  am,  who  shall  deliver  me  from  the  body 
of  this  death,"  but  will  feel  this  to  be  indeed  heaven 
begun,  when  there  will  no  more  be  felt  any  secret 
working  of  pride,  or  envy,  or  selfishness;  but  when 
it  shall  be  pure,  and  sweetly  conscious  of  its  own 
purity.  As  perfection  in  holiness  supposes  a  clear 
knowledge  of  spirUual  objects;  so  we  know,  that  we 
shall  no  more  see  the  divine  glory,  as  it  were,  by  re- 
flection from  a  glass,  but  directly,  or  "face  to  face." 
The  soul  of  man,  though  probably  greatly  enlarged 
in  its  powers,  may  have  new  faculties  developed,  for 
which  there  was  no  use  here,  and  of  which  it  had 
no  consciousness;  yet  the  field  of  knowledge  being 
boundless,  and  our  minds  being  capable  of  attending 
only  to  one  thing  at  one  time,  our  knowledge  of  celes- 
tial things  will  be  gradually  acquired,  and  not  per- 
fected at  once.  Indeed,  there  can  be  no  limit  set  to 
the  progression  in  knowledge;  it  will  be  endless. 
And  no  doubt  the  unalloyed  pleasures  of  the  future 
state,  will  be  intimately  connected  with  this  continual 
increase  of  divine  knowledge.  And  as  here,  know- 
ledge is  acquired  by  the  aid  of  instructers,  why  may 

20 


302  THOUGHTS    ON 

not  the  same  he  the  fact  in  heaven  ?  What  a  dehght- 
fiil  employment  to  the  saints  who  have  been  drink- 
ing in  the  knowledge  of  God  and  his  works  for  thou- 
sands of  years,  to  communicate  instruction  to  the 
saint  just  arrived!  How  delightful  to  conduct  the 
pilgrim  who  has  just  finished  his  race,  through  the 
ever  blooming  bowers  of  paradise,  and  to  introduce 
him  to  this  and  the  other  ancient  believer,  and  to  as- 
sist him  to  find  out  and  recognize,  among  so  great  a 
multitude,  old  friends  and  earthly  relatives.  There 
need  be  no  dispute  about  our  knowing,  in  heaven, 
those  whom  we  knew  and  loved  here;  for  if  there 
should  be  no  faculty  by  which  they  could  at  once  be 
recognised,  yet  by  extended  and  familiar  intercourse 
with  the  celOTtial  inhabitants,  it  cannot  be  otherwise 
but  that  interesting  discoveries  will  be  made  continu- 
ally; and  the  unexpected  recognition  of  old  friends 
may  be  one  of  the  sources  of  pleasure  which  will 
render  heaven  so  pleasant.  But  as  the  fleshly  bond 
of  relationship  is  dissolved,  at  death,  it  seems  rea- 
sonable to  think,  that  the  only  bond  of  union  and 
kindred  in  heaven,  will  be  the  spiritual  bond,  which 
unites  all  believers  in  one  body,  and  to  Christ  their 
living  head;  therefore,  we  may  presume,  that  there 
will  be  felt  an  ardent  desire  to  form  an  acquaint- 
ance with  the  most  remarkable  personages,  who  have 
lived  from  Adam  downward.  Who,  if  admitted  into 
paradise,  could  repress  his  curiosity  to  see,  and  if 
possible,  to  converse  with  the  progenitor  of  our 
race?  Doubtless,  he  could  tell  us  some  things  which 
we  do  not  fully  understand.  And  who  would  not 
wish  to  see  the  first  person  who  ever  entered  those 
blessed  abodes  from  our  earth.?  Ah,  and  Enoch 
too,  who  never  tasted  death,  and  who  still  pos- 
sesses his  original  body,  changed  and  glorified,  it 
is  true,  but  still  substantially  the  same.  We  might 
expect  to  find  him  in  the  company  of  Elijah,  who  is 
similarly  circumstanced;  and  some  think  that  the 
body  of  Moses,  though  it  was  dead  and  buried,  was 
raised  again,  as  he  seems  to  have  appeared  in  his 
own  proper  body  on  the  mount  of  Transfiguration. 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  303 

And  where  is  Abraham,  that  venerable  saint,  who  in 
faith  and  obedience  exceeded  all  other  men,  and  ob- 
tained from  God  the  honourable  appellation  of  "  The 
Father  of  the  Faithful,'^  and  the  friend  of  God?  And 
who  would  be  in  heaven  ever  so  short  a  time,  with- 
out desiring  to  see  Paul,  the  apostle  of  the  Gentiles? 
And  not  him  only,  but  Peter,  and  John,  and  all  the 
college  of  the  apostles.  But  methinks  we  are  in  dan- 
ger of  indulging  our  imaginations  too  far,  and  of 
transferring  to  a  heavenly  state,  too  many  of  the  feel- 
ings and  associations  of  our  earthly  condition.  And 
I  am  reminded  also,  that  as  the  twinkling  stars  are 
lost  in  the  blaze  of  the  rising  sun,  so  there  is  one  per- 
son in  the  highest  heavens,  visible  to  all  who  enter 
that  place,  whose  glory  irradiates  all  the  celestial 
mansions;  whose  love  and  smiles  diffuse  ineffable 
joy  through  all  the  heavenly  hosts,  and  in  whom 
every  believer  has  an  absorbing  interest  with  which 
no  other  can  be  compared.  On  his  head  he  wears 
many  crowns,  and  in  his  hand  he  holds  a  sceptre  by 
which  he  governs  the  universe;  but  yet  he  exhibits, 
visibly,  the  marks  of  a  violent  death,  which,  for  us, 
he  once  endured.  His  name  is,  The  Word  of  God, 
King  of  Kings,  and  Lord  of  Lords.  The  Alpha 
and  Omega.  The  Almighty.  And  behold,  all  the 
angels  of  God  worship  him.  And  the  host  of  the  re- 
deemed, which  no  man  can  number,  sing  a  song  of 
praise  to  the  Lamb,  which  no  man  can  learn,  except 
those  that  are  redeemed  from  among  men,  for  the 
burden  of  their  song  is  "  To  Him  that  loved  us,  and 
washed  us  from  our  sins  in  his  own  blood.  These 
are  they  that  have  washed  their  robes,  and  made 
them  white  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb."  Every  re- 
deemed soul,  upon  being  admitted  into  heaven,  will, 
for  a  while,  be  so  completely  absorbed  in  the  contem- 
plation of  that  DIVINE  PERSON,  that  he  will  be  inca- 
pable of  paying  much  attention  to  any  others.  Like 
that  Armenian  princess,  of  whom  Zenophon  gives  an 
account,  who  after  all  the  rest  of  the  company  had 
been  expressing  their  admiration  of  Cyrus,  one  prais- 
ing one  thing  and  one  another,  upon  being  asked 


304 


THOUGHTS    ON 


what  about  this  royal  personage  she  admired  most, 
answered,  that  she  did  not  even  look  at  him,  because 
her  whole  attention  had  been  absorbed  in  admiring 
him  (her  young  husband)  who  had  offered  to  die  for 
her.     But  the  saved  sinner  may  say.  that  his  atten- 
tion was  completely  absorbed  in  gazing  upon  Him, 
who  not  only  said   that  He   would  die  for  him,  but 
who  actually  did  die  in  his  place,  and  by  this  sacri- 
fice redeemed  him  from  the  curse  of  the  law,  and 
from   all   iniquity.     The  sweet  and  intimate   inter- 
course which  the  redeemed  soul  will  have  with  his 
Saviour  cannot  now  be  conceived:  it  will  far  trans- 
cend all  the  ideas  which  we  now  can  form;  and  will 
be  a  perfection  of  bliss  so  great  that  nothing  can  be 
added  to  it  in  any  other  way,  than  by  an  increase  of 
the  capacity  of  the  soul.     But  still,  all  that  is  enjoyed 
in  this  intermediate  state  between  death  and  judg- 
ment, is  but  a  part  of  that  felicity  to  which  the  re- 
deemed of  the  Lord  are  destined  hereafter.     It  is 
only  the  enjoyment  of  a  separate  soul;  but  "the  ex- 
ceeding great  and  eternal  weight  of  glory"  laid  up 
in  heaven  for  the  children  of  God  is  for  the  whole 
man,  made  up  of  soul  and  body;  and  as  even  in  this 
world  many  pleasures  are  enjoyed  by  means  of  bodily 
organs,  who  can  tell  what  new  and  ever  varying 
delights  may  be  let  into  the  soul  by  means  of  bodies 
of  a  celestial  mould  ?  bodies  fashioned  after  the  model 
of  the  glorious  body  of  Jesus  Christ!    If  our  senses 
now  bring  to  our  view  so  many  glorious  objects  both 
in  the  heavens  and  the  earth,  how  rich  and  delight- 
ful will  be  the  vision  of  the  upper  heavens  by  the 
eyes  of  the  resurrection  body?    Then  shall  we  see 
Jesus  with  our  bodily  eyes — then  shall  we  behold 
what  now  no  tongue  can  describe,  nor  even  heart 
conceive.  The  departed  saints,  therefore,  though  bless- 
ed to  the  full  amount  of  their  present  capacity,  yet 
are  living  in  joyful  expectation  of  a  more  glorious 
state.     We  should  not  think  that  the  redemption  and 
resuscitation  of  the  body  is  a   small  matter.     The 
body  is  an  essential  part  of  human  nature,  and  the 
glorified  body  will  add  to  the  felicity  of  the  redeemed 


RELIGIOVS    EXPERIENCE. 


305 


in  a  degree  which  we  have  no  means  of  calculating. 
The  inspired  writers,  therefore,  when  they  speak  of 
the  blessedness  of  Heaven,  speak  sparingly  of  the 
state  of  the  separate  soul ;  but  when  they  describe  the 
resurrection,  they  seem  to  be  enraptured.  Hear  Paul, 
drawing  a  comparison  between  this  mortal,  corrupt, 
and  earthly  body,  and  that  immortal,  pure,  and  spi- 
ritual body,  which  will  be  possessed  by  every  saint. 
"It  is  sown  in  corruption;  it  is  raised  in  incorruption. 
It  is  sown  in  dishonour;  it  is  raised  in  glory.  It  is 
sown  in  weakness;  it  is  raised  in  power.  It  is  sown 
a  natural  body;  it  is  raised  a  spiritual  body.  As  we 
have  borne  the  image  of  the  earthly,  so  shall  we  bear 
the  image  of  the  heavenly.  For  this  corruptible  must 
put  on  incorruption,  and  this  mortal  must  put  on  im- 
mortality." No  sooner  shall  these  resuscitated  bo- 
dies open  their  immortal  eyes,  than  they  shall  behold 
the  Son  of  man  coming  in  the  clouds  of  Heaven. 
And  no  sooner  is  the  judgment  set,  than  all  these  shall 
be  caught  up  to  meet  the  Lord  in  the  air,  and  shall 
be  so  highly  honoured  as  to  have  a  place,  as  asses- 
sors, on  the  judgment  seat  with  Him.  And  when 
the  awful  transactions  of  that  day  are  ended,  the  re- 
deemed shall  accompany  their  Lord  and  Saviour  to 
Heaven,  where  they  shall  be  put  in  full  and  eternal 
possession  of  that  felicity  and  glory  which  Christ  has 
purchased  for  them  by  his  precious  blood.  In  this 
sublime  temple,  their  songs  shall  mingle  with  those  of 
the  holy  angels,  for  ever  and  ever.  It  need  not  be 
supposed  that  saints  in  Heaven  will  be  continually 
employed  in  nothing  but  praise.  This,  indeed,  will  be 
their  noblest  employment;  and  the  anthems  of  praise 
to  God  and  the  Lamb  will  never  cease;  but  may  we  not 
reasonably  suppose  that  the  exercises  and  pursuits  of 
the  saints  will  be  various.  The  wonderful  works  of 
God  will  open  to  their  contemplation.  They  may 
be  employed,  as  angels  are  nov^r,  as  messengers  to 
distant  worlds,  either  as  instruments  of  justice  or 
mercy:  for  we  find  that  the  angels  are  employed  in 
both  these  ways.  While,  then,  one  choir  surrounds 
the  throne,  and  elevates  the  celestial  song  of  praise 


306 


THOUGHTS    ON 


for  redemption, others  maybe  employed  in  executing 
the  commands  of  their  Lord;  and  then,  in  their  turn, 
these  last  may  keep  up  the  unceasing  praise,  while 
the  first  go  forth  on  errands  of  mercy  or  wrath. 
Some  have  divided  the  angels  into  assisting  and 
ministering:  the  first  are  supposed  to  be  always  en- 
gaged in  acts  of  worship,  while  the  last  are  always 
employed  in  other  services.  But  it  would  be  much 
more  reasonable  to  suppose,  that  they  all,  in  turn,  take 
their  part  in  both  these  services.  Here,  however,  it  be- 
comes us  to  pause,  and  in  deep  humility,  on  account 
of  our  ignorance  and  un  worthiness,  to  put  our  hands 
on  our  mouths,  and  our  mouths  in  the  dust.  We  are 
slow  to  learn  earthly  things;  how  then  can  we  com- 
prehend those  which  are  heavenly?  But  if  we  are 
the  children  of  God,  we  shall  have  experience  of  these 
celestial  employments  and  never  ending  joys.  Soon, 
very  soon, these  things  which  are  now  dimly  discerned 
by  means  of  faith,  will  be  realized,  when  every  hum- 
ble saint  shall  appear  with  Christ  in  glory,  and  shall 
never  be  exposed  any  more  to  danger  or  suffering. 
Let  us,  then,  now  begin  the  song  which  shall  never 
cease  to  Him  that  saved  us  and  washed  us  from  our 
sins  in  his  own  precious  blood. 


RELIGIOUS    EXPEKIENCE.  307 


PRAYER 

FOR    ONE    WHO    FEELS    THAT    HE     IS    APPROACHING    THE    BOR- 
DERS OF   ANOTHER  WORLD. 

0  MOST  merciful  God!  I  rejoice  that  thou  dost  reign 
over  the  universe  with  a  sovereign  sway,  so  that  thou 
dost  according  to  thy  will,  in  the  armies  of  heaven 
and  among  the  inhabitants  of  the  earth.  Thou  art 
the  maker  of  my  body,  and  Father  of  spirit,  and  thou 
hast  a  perfect  right  to  dispose  of  me,  in  that  manner 
which  will  most  effectually  promote  thy  glory:  and 

1  know  that  whatsoever  thou  dost,  is  right,  wise,  and 
just,  and  good.  And  whatever  may  be  my  eternal 
destiny,  I  rejoice  in  the  assurance  that  thy  great  name 
will  be  glorified  in  me.  But  as  thou  hast  been 
pleased  to  reveal  thy  mercy  and  thy  grace,  to  our 
fallen  miserable  world;  and  as  the  word  of  this  sal- 
vation has  been  preached  unto  me,  inviting  me  to  ac- 
cept of  eternal  life,  upon  the  gracious  terms  of  the 
gospel.  I  do  cordially  receive  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ 
as  my  Saviour  and  only  Redeemer,  believing  sin- 
cerely, the  whole  testimony  which  thou  hast  given 
respecting  his  divine  character,  his  real  incarnation, 
his  unspotted  and  holy  life,  his  numerous  and  bene- 
ficent miracles,  his  expiatory  and  meritorious  death, 
and  his  glorious  resurrection  and  ascension.  I  be- 
lieve, also,  in  his  supreme  exaltation,  in  his  prevalent 
intercessions  for  his  chosen  people,  in  liis  aflectionate 
care  and  aid  afforded  to  his  suffering  members  here 
below,  and  in  his  second  coming  to  receive  his  humble 
followers  to  dwell  with  him  in  heaven;  and  to  take 
vengeance  on  his  obstinate  enemies.  My  only  hope 
and  confidence  of  being  saved,  rests  simply  on  the 
mediatorial  work  and  prevailing  intercession  of  the 
Lord  Jesus  Christ;  inconsequence  of  which  the  Holy 
Spirit  is  graciously  sent  to  make  application  of  Christ's 
redemption,  by  working  faith  in  us,  and  repentance 
unto  life;  and  rendering  us  meet  for  the  heavenly  in- 


308 


THOUGHTS    ON 


heritance,  by  sanctifying  us  in  tfie  whole  man,  soul, 
body,  and  spirit.  Grant,  gracious  God!  that  the  rich 
blessings  of  the  new  covenant  may  be  freely  bestow- 
ed on  thy  unworthy  servant.  I  acknowledge  that  I 
have  no  claim  to  thy  favour,  on  account  of  any  good- 
ness in  me  by  nature;  for  alas!  there  dwelleth  in  me, 
that  is  in  my  flesh,  no  good  thing;  nor  on  account 
of  any  works  of  righteousness  done  by  me;  for  all 
our  righteousnesses  are  as  filthy  rags.  Neither  am  I 
able  to  make  atonement  for  any  one  of  my  innume- 
rable transgressions;  which  I  confess  before  thee,  are 
not  only  many  in  number,  but  heinous  in  their  na- 
ture, justly  deserving  thy  displeasure  and  wrath;  so 
that  if  I  were  immediately  sent  to  hell,  thou  wouldst 
be  altogether  just  in  my  condemnation.  Although  I 
trust,  that  I  have  endeavoured  to  serve  thee  with  some 
degree  of  sincerity;  yet  whatever  good  thing  I  have 
ever  done,  or  even  thought,  I  ascribe  entirely  to  thy 
grace,  without  which  I  can  do  nothing  acceptable  in 
thy  sight.  And  I  am  deeply  convinced, that  my  best 
duties  have  fallen  far  short  of  the  perfection  of  thy 
law,  and  have  been  so  mingled  with  sin  in  the  per- 
formance, that  I  might  justly  be  condemned  for  the 
most  fervent  prayer  I  ever  made.  And  I  would  con- 
fess with  shame  and  contrition,  that  I  am  not  only 
chargeable  with  sin  in  the  act,  but  that  there  is  a  law 
in  my  members,  warring  against  the  law  of  my  mind, 
aiming  to  bring  me  into  captivity  to  the  law  of  sin  and 
death.  This  corrupt  nature  is  the  source  of  innu- 
merable evil  thoughts  and  desires,  and  damps  the 
exercise  of  faith  and  love,  and  stands  in  the  way 
of  well-doing,  so  that  when  I  would  do  good,  evil  is 
present  with  me.  And  so  deep  and  powerful  is  this 
remaining  depravity,  that  all  efforts  to  eradicate  or 
subdue  it,  are  vain  without  the  aid  of  divine  grace. 
And  when  at  any  time  I  obtain  a  glimpse  of  the 
depth  and  turpitude  of  the  sin  of  my  nature,  I  am 
overwhelmed,  and  constrained  to  exclaim  with  Job, 
"I  abhor  myself  and  repent  in  dust  and  ashes." 
And  now  Righteous  Lord  God  Jilmighty,  I  would 
not  attempt  to  conceal  any  of  my  actual  transgressions, 


RELIGIOUS  EXPERIENCE.  309 

however  vile  and  shameful  they  are.  But  would  pe- 
nitently confess  them  before  thee;  and  would  plead 
in  my  defence,  nothing  but  the  perfect  righteous- 
ness of  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  who  died,  the  just 
for  the  unjust,  to  bring  us  near  to  God.  For  his  sake 
alone,  do  I  ask  or  expect  the  rich  blessings  necessary 
to  my  salvation.  For  although  I  am  unworthy,  he 
is  most  worthy;  though  I  have  no  righteousness,  he 
has  provided  by  his  expiatory  death,  and  by  his  holy 
life,  a  complete  justifying  righteousness,  in  which  spot- 
less robe  I  pray  that  I  may  be  clothed;  so  that  thou 
my  righteous  Judge,  wilt  see  no  sin  in  me,  but  wilt 
acquit  me  from  every  accusation,  and  justify  me 
freely  by  thy  grace,  through  the  righteousness  of  my 
Lord  and  Saviour,  with  whom  thou  art  ever  well 
pleased.  And  my  earnest  prayer  is,  that  Jesus  may 
save  me  from  my  sins,  as  well  as  from  their  punish- 
ment; that  I  may  be  redeemed  from  all  iniquity,  as 
well  as  from  the  condemnation  of  the  law;  that  the 
work  of  sanctification  may  be  carried  on  in  my  soul 
by  thy  word  and  Spirit,  until  it  be  perfected  at  thine 
appointed  time.  And  grant,  0  Lord !  that  as  long  as 
I  am  in  the  body,  I  may  make  it  my  constant  study 
and  chief  aim  to  glorify  thy  name,  both  with  soul 
and  body,  which  are  no  longer  mine,  but  thine;  for  I 
am  "  bought  with  a  price" — not  with  silver  and  gold, 
but  with  tlje  precious  blood  of  Christ,  as  of  a  lamb 
without  blemish  and  without  spot.  Enable  me  to  let 
my  light  so  shine,  that  others,  seeing  my  good  works, 
may  be  led  to  glorify  thy  name.  0!  make  use  of 
me  as  an  humble  instrument  of  advancing  thy  king- 
dom on  earth,  and  promoting  the  salvation  of  immor- 
tal souls.  If  thou  hast  appointed  sufferings  for  me, 
here  below,  I  beseech  thee  to  consider  my  weakness, 
and  let  thy  chastisements  be  those  of  a  loving  father, 
that  I  may  be  made  partaker  of  thy  holiness.  And 
let  me  not  be  tempted  above  what  I  am  able  to  bear, 
but  with  the  temptation  make  a  way  for  escape. 

0,  most  merciful  God!  "Cast  me  not  off  in  the 
time  of  old  age;  forsake  me  not  when  my  strength 
declineth.     Now,  when  I  am  old  and  grey-headed, 

21 


310  THOUGHTS    ON 

forsake  me  not;  but  let  thy  grace  be  sufficient  for  me; 
and  enable  me  to  bring  forth  fruit,  even  in  old  age. 
May  my  hoary  head  be  found  in  the  ways  of  right- 
eousness! Preserve  my  mind  from  dotage  and  im- 
becility, and  my  body  from  protracted  disease  and 
excruciating  pain.  Deliver  me  from  despondency 
and  discouragement,  in  my  declining  years,  and  ena- 
ble me  to  bear  affliction  with  patience,  fortitude,  and 
perfect  submission  to  thy  holy  will.  Lift  upon  me 
perpetually  the  light  of  thy  reconciled  countenance, 
and  cause  me  to  rejoice  in  thy  salvation,  and  in  the 
hope  of  thy  glory.  May  the  peace  that  passeth  all 
understanding  be  constantly  diffused  through  my 
soul,  so  that  my  mind  may  remain  calm  through  all 
the  storms  and  vicissitudes  of  life." 

As,  in  the  course  of  nature,  I  must  be  drawing  near 
to  my  end,  and  as  I  know  I  must  soon  put  off  this 
tabernacle,  I  do  humbly  and  earnestly  beseech  thee, 
0  Father  of  mercies,  to  prepare  me  for  this  inevitable 
and  solemn  event.  Fortify  my  mind  against  the  ter- 
rors of  death.  Give  me,  if  it  please  thee,  an  easy 
passage  through  the  gate  of  death.  Dissipate  the 
dark  clouds  and  mists  which  naturally  hang  over  the 
grave,  and  lead  me  gently  down  into  the  gloomy  val- 
ley. 0  my  kind  Shepherd,  who  hast  tasted  the  bit- 
terness of  death  for  me,  and  who  knowest  how  to 
sympathize  with  and  succonr  the  sheep  of  thy  pas- 
ture, be  thou  present  to  guide,  to  support,  and  to 
comfort  me.  Illumine  with  beams  of  heavenly  light 
the  valley  and  shadow  of  death,  so  that  I  may  fear 
no  evil.  When  heart  and  flesh  fails,  be  thou  the 
strength  of  my  heart,  and  my  portion  for  ever.  Let 
not  my  courage  fail  in  the  trying  hour.  Permit  not 
the  great  adversary  to  harass  my  soul,  in  the  last 
struggle,  but  make  me  a  conqueror  and  more  than  a 
conqueror  in  this  fearful  conflict.  I  humbly  ask  that 
my  reason  may  be  continued  to  the  last,  and  if  it  be 
thy  will,  that  I  may  be  so  comforted  and  supported, 
that  I  may  leave  a  testimony  in  favour  of  the  reality 
of  religion,  and  thy  faithfulness  in  fulfilling  thy  gra- 


RELIGIOUS    EXPERIENCE.  311 

cious  promises;  and  that  others  of  thy  servants  who 
may  follow  after,  may  be  encouraged  ]3y  my  example, 
to  commit  themselves  boldly  to  the  guidance  and 
keeping  of  the  Shepherd  of  Israel. 

And  when  my  spirit  leaves  this  clay  tenement, 
Lord  Jesus  receive  it.  Send  some  of  the  blessed  an- 
gels to  convey  my  inexperienced  soul  to  the  mansion 
which  thy  love  has  prepared.  And  0,  let  me  be  so 
situated,  though  in  the  lowest  rank,  that  I  may  be- 
hold thy  glory.  May  I  have  an  abundant  entrance 
administered  unto  me  in  the  kingdom  of  our  Lord 
and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ.  For  whose  sake,  and  in 
whose  name,  I  ask  all  these  things.     Amen. 


THE    END. 


•jt. 


Princeton  Theological ,  SfminaY,,,  L;^,'i^[|f 


1    1012  01250  2367 


Date  Due 

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